Before I could continue my thanks she waved me off. “Are you kidding? I’m being selfish. I’ve been dying to hear Jack’s new songs and meet the girl who—”
“Are you going to let us inside?” Jack cut in. Ah, there was the rude bastard I knew.
Mattie didn’t seem to take offense. She just rolled her eyes at me before pulling me by the hand into her home, followed by Jack who was lugging both of our overnight bags.
The apartment was eclectic, to say the least. It was filled with loud colors, eye-catching artwork and a serious lack of adultness. I almost asked where her parents were but figured that might be rude. Maybe her parents were into vivid pop art, who was I to judge? But a quick tour from Mattie confirmed the suspicion that had been nagging at me since the moment we entered the apartment. The apartment consisted of a tiny kitchen with a half-sized refrigerator, an even tinier living room with one, small tattered couch and one bedroom with one bed that had Mattie’s clothing strewn all over it.
“So, uh, you live alone?” I asked at the brief tour’s conclusion. I saw her eyes flicker to Jack who was standing behind me but I couldn’t see his expression.
“Yeah,” she said. “I took a year off after graduating high school last spring. I’m applying to some fashion schools now but wanted to take some time to figure out what I want to do, you know?”
I nodded and murmured something in agreement. No, I didn’t know. I’d always known what I wanted to do. When it was time for college applications it was a no-brainer. I was going to New York City—that narrowed down the options considerably.
Jack’s hands on my shoulders was a shock to the system. For all of his get-so-close-I-thought-he-might-kiss-me moves, the guy had never actually touched me, except to haul me in and out of his truck. The rare sensation set me on edge. My worries about the fact that I was in a one-bedroom apartment with Jack and some strange chick came to an abrupt halt as all of my senses focused on the feel of his hands against my shoulders, which were bare thanks to my tank top.
“No time for chatting,” he said over my head. “We have to be there to set up in an hour. Mattie, you’ve got work to do.”
Mattie’s eyes lit up with excitement and she clapped her hands, rubbing them together as if she was about to get to work. Eyes fixed on me, she waved one hand toward Jack. “Shoo, we need some space.”
Uh, what now? Before I could protest, I heard Jack leave, closing the bedroom door behind him and Mattie took me by the hand, dragging me over to dresser mirror and sitting me down on the bed so I was facing it.
“What are you doing?” I asked nervously.
She ignored me for a while, instead taking pieces of my hair and holding it up for inspection. Her severe frown was not exactly complimentary.
“You’re an actress, right?” she said, finally meeting my eyes in the mirror.
I nodded. “How did you know that?”
She ignored the question. “If you’re going to play a part, you’ve got to look the part, right?”
The nervous churning in my stomach finally slowed to a roiling wave at that. “Yeah, I guess so.”
She beamed at me like I was her A+ student. “Then I’ve got my work cut out for me. Goodbye hippie chick and hello indie rocker babe.”
My mouth opened—the urge to protest was instinctual—but her words were still sifting through my brain, easing some of my tension. I was playing a part. Layla James, rocker chick. It wouldn’t really be me up there performing, it would be a character—one of my creating.
Singing in front of strangers in a club—terrifying—but playing a role in front of an audience? That was what I was born to do. So instead of protesting, I found myself grinning back at Mattie in the mirror. “Do it.”
Mattie was frighteningly efficient when she worked but she still found time to make idle chit-chat as she fussed with my hair and made up my face. “It’s so awesome that you’re doing this for Jack. This opportunity means the world to him.”
A pang of guilt shot through me. I was hardly the generous saint she was making me out to be. I was in this for one reason and one reason only—and he was nowhere to be seen. Until tomorrow, I reminded myself. I think I mumbled something like, “It’s no big deal.”
Mattie pulled back to look at me. “Yes. It is.” She eyed my from head to toe. “No offense but from what Jack’s told me and what I can see, you are totally out of your element. What you’re doing is super brave.” I opened my mouth to deny it but then she added, “I can see why Jack likes you.”
Instead of denying anything I found myself bursting out in a laugh of disbelief.
Mattie laughed too. “You don’t believe me?”
I shook my head, narrowly avoiding her mascara wand. There was something about Mattie that made her easy to talk to. She had a no-judgment vibe that made me feel like I could say anything. So I found myself telling her the truth. “Jack seemed to take an instant dislike to me.” I shook my head again remembering that party when he’d called me out to pick on me and all the ensuing moments of embarrassment thanks to Jack’s unwanted attention.
Mattie let out a little snort. “Oh please. Don’t take Jack so seriously. The boy never outgrew the whole pull-a-girl’s-pigtails stage. I promise, he likes you.”
Temporarily stunned and speechless, I remained silent as she went to work on my eyebrows. When she moved away I realized I’d been silent for too long.
“Trust me,” Mattie said as she moved back to her cosmetics bag. “Jack is really happy you’re here with him, and so am I.”
Her kind words hit me harder than they should. I’d been stuck in a jumble of emotions and fears for the past few days and a little bit of kindness made me close to tears. “Thanks. I just hope I don’t screw this up for Jack.”
And that was the truth, I realized with a start. He may not have been my favorite person but it was clear how much this opportunity meant to him and if there was one thing I could understand and respect, it was going after your dream with everything you’ve got. I sure as hell didn’t want to be the one who bombed Jack’s dream.
“If everything Jack has told me about your voice is true, you are going to kill it tonight.”
I blinked up at her through a layer of hair she’d pushed into my face to get it out of the way. “He told you about my voice?”
Mattie was suspiciously quiet. I shifted a bit, wishing I could see her face. “And how did you know I’m an actress?”
She pushed the hair back, freeing my sight. “Jack and I go way back. He tells me everything.”
Huh. So Jack had friends other than Dylan and the band. Girl friends. “Are you and Jack, uh…” My voice trailed off. Crap, why was I asking this stranger personal questions?
But she didn’t seem fazed, she smiled down at me with a knowing look. “Are we hooking up? Hardly. I’ve known him way too long to see him as anything other than a brother.”
“Oh.” That was all I could think to say.
Then she leaned down so she was looking me in the eyes. “Why, do you have your eye on our hottie guitar hero?”
“Me?” I nearly pulled my hair out of my skull when I jerked back from her curling iron too quickly. “No. No, not at all. That’s not—”
“Relax,” Mattie laughed. “I know you’re not into him.”
She did? Did that mean she knew about Dylan? Holy hell, how much had Jack told her? Maybe he kept all tight-lipped and silent at school and then turned around and gossiped about all of us with his cooler Philly friends.
When Mattie was finally done, we both took a moment to study the results. “You’re amazing,” I breathed.
She’d done it. Gone was plain-Jane Layla and in her place was… well, a hottie. A cool girl. Someone who liked to party and knew how to have a good time. Someone Layla James would have been intimidated by.
I was a rock goddess.
She’d worked magic with a curling iron, giving me tousled beach waves that were freakin’ sexy, if I do say so myself. She didn’
t go crazy with the makeup but since I rarely wear any makeup at all, her subtle touches made a world of difference. My eyes looked smoky and my lips were pouty and dark. I puckered them up and air kissed my reflection making us both laugh.
“I’m not gonna lie, I did good,” Mattie said. “Who knew the girl had a figure under all that flowiness?”
I found myself blushing at the compliment. While I was not exactly a sex bomb, the short skirt and form-fitting corset-style top did amazing things for my mediocre curves. I turned to see myself from all angles. Amy would never believe it. In this getup, it actually looked like I had boobs and a butt. “You are a miracle worker.”
Mattie threw her head back with a laugh. “Nah, I can only work with what I’m given. This is all you, my friend.”
I rolled my eyes. This was so not me, this was the character. Still, it was nice to hear.
Mattie grabbed my hand, tugging me toward the door. “Come on, let’s go show Jack.”
I stumbled along behind her. The nerves came back with a vengeance yet. I wasn’t in character yet, this was just the façade. But I was a little excited too.
Mattie and I were both laughing when we came out of the bedroom. Jack looked up from tuning his guitar and froze. I hesitated behind Mattie, caught in the bedroom doorway like a mannequin. Why wasn’t he saying anything?
His expression was unreadable, his eyes hard and dark. There was no mocking laughter, which was a relief, but this non-reaction made me nervous. And just like that, the new confidence brought on by the outfit and the makeup gave way to insecurity. I found myself fidgeting with the hem of the skirt.
I waited for him to say something, anything, about my drastic makeover, but all he said was, “You ready? Let’s go, we can’t be late.”
And with that rousing pep talk, he turned and headed out the front door leaving me and Mattie standing there in stunned silence. Mattie broke the silence first. “Go get ‘em, tiger.” She gave me a little shove toward the front door and I found myself tumbling out into the brisk evening air, on my way to my first performance as a rock star.
Chapter Nine
We were the opening number, which meant we had to set up right away. There wasn’t much for me to do aside from watch as Jack set up his guitar, amp, and the mic. Other than a vocal check on the mic, my job was to stand around and try not to hyperventilate. I assumed the opening act wouldn’t have much of an audience but as the minutes ticked by and the time drew near for us to get on stage, people started filing in through the front door.
“You ready?”
I didn’t hear Jack come up behind me backstage and I jumped a little, as if guilty to be caught staring out at the crowd. Was I ready? No. The answer was no.
I felt Jack’s hands on my shoulders for the second time that day and nearly stumbled as he lightly pushed me toward a little lounge area backstage with a water dispenser, a little fridge and a full-length mirror.
“What are you doing?”
He didn’t answer right away but steered me so I was standing directly in front of the mirror, and we were both looking at my reflection. “You know the songs,” he said. “Now it’s time for you to get into character. I need you to be a rock star tonight.”
I met his gaze in the mirror and I’m absolutely certain my thoughts were clearly written there in my eyes.
He gave a little sigh. “What do you see?” he said, nodding toward my reflection.
Honestly? I saw a musical theater nerd playing dress up. But that was not what he wanted to hear so I bit my lip and met his gaze once more, trying to hide my panic.
“Fine,” he said. “I’ll tell you what I see.”
I blinked at him in surprise. Wary anticipation had me holding my breath. This should be good. I mentally braced for some tough coaching love with a side of snark.
“I see a sexy vixen, a total hottie” he said, his lips twitching up in a smile at my wide eyed look of surprise.
“It’s true,” he added with a shrug, as if it was no big deal. As if guys called me hot… ever.
“You’re a freakin’ rock star,” he continued, and with a jolt of reality, I realized what he was doing. He was helping me get into character. A flicker of disappointment shot through me but I shoved it aside and concentrated on my reflection and on his words. Because he was right, if I was ever going to get through this performance, I had to get into character.
“I see a young up-and-coming rock star with a kickass voice,” he continued, his gaze never leaving mine in the reflection. “She’s the kind of star that every girl wants to be and every guy wants to… date.”
My brows shot up at his hesitation before saying “date.” His cocky little grin confirmed that he had been about to say something far less delicate. For some reason, that made me laugh.
I dragged my gaze away from his and forced myself to look at my reflection and I summoned up the way I’d felt when I’d first seen Mattie’s magic. Slowly but surely, I found it. The confidence, the excitement, a buzz in my body that I didn’t recognize as Layla James. It was a hum of excitement, an awareness about my body that hadn’t been there before.
The music from the speakers seemed like a physical presence—it was a part of me.
I glanced up and saw Jack’s eyes watching me and when my gaze met his he smiled, a slow predatory smile that made me feel powerful and in control.
“You’re ready,” he said.
I had the crowd in the palm of my hand. From the moment I strutted on stage, I could feel their eyes on me and just like when I was in character in a musical, the attention didn’t faze me like it would if I was myself out there. If anything, it gave me energy, it made me thrive. I could feel their eyes, hear their pulse in the beat of the music.
When I heard the first few chords from Jack’s guitar, I didn’t hesitate, I didn’t think—I just grabbed the mic and sang.
And holy freakin’ hell, it was amazing. I was amazing. And Jack—well, Jack was on fire. When I wasn’t singing, I’d turn to watch him play. He came alive on stage, and he didn’t need a character to do it. This was pure Jack. The words, the music, it was all him and even though he wasn’t in the spotlight with the microphone, he exuded the music, he pulsed with it, his body moving in time with it and his fingers flying over the guitar to create it. Without the full band, we could have been drowned out, but there was no lack of power.
People in the crowd danced, while others bopped and swayed. I let myself move with the music, not letting myself worry about how I looked or what dance moves would be cool. I trusted in the character I’d created and when I glanced back at Jack I saw him watching me with approval that warmed me from head to toe.
When it came to an end, I was on an adrenaline high. There was no other way to put it. We took our bows to the cheers of the crowd and when we reached backstage, I was laughing with pure joy.
Jack came off the stage right behind me and when I turned to congratulate him, he swept me off my feet—literally. Hugging me around the waist he lifted me off my feet and swung me around. “You were amazing.”
I slid down his chest, still laughing. So were you—that’s what I was going to say. But before I could, I’d slid down so my toes were touching the floor and our eyes were level. The words died in my throat. All thoughts fizzled out and the noise around us seemed to come to a crashing halt.
His dark eyes held mine and the air between us grew thick. I not only couldn’t speak, I couldn’t breathe, and it had nothing to do with his arms that were crushing me against him. It was the connection between us, the closeness. It was his eyes on mine, dark and heady with unknown emotions, his chest beating wildly beneath mine.
That was when I knew it.
He was going to kiss me.
I didn’t have time, or the mental ability, to do anything with this knowledge. I couldn’t process how I felt about it or if I wanted it. It happened too quickly.
His lips were on mine.
My brain was blank but my body went into
overdrive. A jolt of heat shot through me at the contact. His lips were hard and firm, pressing against mine with a possessive intensity that sent a flicker of something electric coursing through me. Then his lips were moving over mine as his tongue teased. I found myself kissing him back without thinking. How could I think when my brain had gone offline?
When my lips parted for air, he took advantage and his tongue slid into my mouth, making me warm all over as his hands moved over my back, pressing me even closer still. For one crazy moment, I caved to the temptation—to the needy insistence that made my body feel like it was on fire, and my lips feel desperate for more of his kisses.
I found myself mimicking what he did. My lips matching his kiss for kiss and my tongue hesitantly following his lead, deepening the kiss. His body against mine, his lips on mine, his hands all over me—it was all encompassing. Overwhelming. Heady. It was a drug.
The sound of the next band moving past us to set up on stage finally broke us apart. I stared at Jack in shock for countless seconds as the reality of what just happened sank in.
Jack kissed me. I kissed him back. We kissed.
I’d just had my first kiss… and it was with the wrong guy.
Chapter Ten
“Layla, wait up!”
But I couldn’t stop, I had to get away from him. I kissed Jack. The phrase raced through my mind in a loop as I tried to come to terms with what I’d just done. I’d been saving myself for Dylan all this time and then in one stupid, reckless, adrenaline-fueled moment, I ruined it.
“Layla.” Jack’s hand on my arm stopped me as I reached the center of the crowded dancefloor.
I froze and then spun around to face him.
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