And it had happened.
Just… not with Dylan.
I started to laugh, making Jack grin even bigger as he launched into the next song. It was the ballad—the first one he had me sing back in the storage closet that very first day.
Funny how that seemed like a lifetime ago. I sobered with the lyrics, those haunting words set to a lovely melody—all about unrequited love, all about a boy seeing a girl who never noticed him standing there.
My throat grew tight as the words hit home. They took on a new meaning, a new significance after Stephanie’s insights. Could they be… no. Maybe. Could this song be about me?
I glanced over at Jack and his gaze was heavy on me.
That was my answer. I knew it in my bones. This song… he was talking to me. I was singing the words but they were for me to hear. Tears filled my eyes as the beauty of the words struck me anew.
He saw me. He’d always seen me. Even when I wasn’t in the spotlight or wearing sexy clothes. He’d seen me and he’d seen something special in me.
It was humbling. It was exhilarating.
The rush of emotions was so heady it was hard to sing. But I did, and the emotions spilled into the lyrics, into the music. When the lights came up and the crowd became clear, I saw it reflected in them. They looked absorbed by the music, infected by the emotions that ran through the words and echoed in the music.
They looked in love.
Chapter Seventeen
I ran away after the show. I just couldn’t bring myself to go out into the audience and do the social thing. Dylan and Herman couldn’t wait to get out there and soak up the accolades, but I let them have it, slipping out the back door instead.
I didn’t see where Jack had gone, probably out into the audience as well. This was their moment, the last club performance for their band. We’d play one more gig at Dylan’s house party but that was it, at least as far as I knew.
They deserved to enjoy their time. I had too much to think about to be able to talk. I might not have Amy handy to obsess with, but at the very least I could take a walk, clear my head, figure out what it all meant.
The beach was only a few blocks away. I didn’t get far before my phone dinged. Jack wanted to know where I’d gone. I let out a short laugh. Of course it was Jack who’d noticed I’d run away.
I texted back quickly that I was heading to the beach and in minutes I heard footsteps jogging behind me. It wasn’t until I turned to face Jack that I realized I’d wanted him to. This was what I’d hoped would happen. It wasn’t like I’d meant to test him, but I needed to see.
If I run, would you follow? If I leave, would you notice?
Maybe it was stupid and insecure, but I didn’t entirely trust Steph’s gossip and I didn’t trust my own instincts anymore, not after I’d been so wrong for so long.
And now, staring up at Jack as he came to a stop in front of me, everything felt right. For the first time in forever, my life seemed to be coming into focus. And a lot of it was thanks to Jack.
“Thank you,” I said.
His brows shot up. “For what?”
I swallowed down nerves. His gaze was dark and intense. He saw me.
Sometimes I was pretty sure he saw everything.
“Thanks for pushing me into doing this,” I said, gesturing back toward the club. “I’m glad I did.” For so many reasons, but the main reason I couldn’t put into words. Not yet, at least. But discovering this new side of myself was a game changer—it might even change my plans for future stardom. I’d still pursue my dreams of Broadway, but now I knew there was a whole other artistic avenue I could pursue. My world had broadened exponentially.
Jack shifted, his hands in his pockets. I sensed him deflating a bit, like I’d disappointed him with what I’d said. “Yeah, no problem.” He looked over my shoulder. “Where you headed?”
“Just for a walk on the beach.” I searched his face trying to figure out what he was thinking. “I just need some time to think.”
He nodded, though his mind seemed to be elsewhere. “Why didn’t you stick around?”
His eyes met mine and I felt pinned in place. I shrugged. “I have a lot to think about.”
“But Dylan is back there, and you…” He licked his lips and gestured to my outfit, my hair and makeup. The whole rock star goddess get up. He didn’t need to say it. If I ever stood a shot at getting Dylan’s attention, now would be the time. He’d never notice me while I was wearing my normal clothes and being my normal wallflower self.
But Jack would. Jack did.
I shrugged as if my next words were no big deal. “I’ve changed my mind on that.”
His eyes widened briefly before narrowing on me as though suspicious. “Changed your mind about what?”
Nerves made my voice shake. I hadn’t had a chance to think this through. I hadn’t overanalyzed or gotten Amy’s input. I was acting blindly, following my gut… and my heart. And I just had to hope that I didn’t end up getting hurt.
But this was Senior Week. Graduation was right around the corner and then we would all be going our separate ways. There was a ticking clock on how much longer I’d be around any of these people, including Jack. That thought got me talking again, it gave me the nerves I so desperately needed. “I changed my mind about Dylan.”
He stared, then he blinked. His jaw clenched and then unclenched. I watched him process my words as I shifted uncomfortably under that stare. That announcement should have been good news, assuming he still liked me.
Or that he ever liked me.
Maybe Steph had been wrong, maybe she’d misinterpreted—
His mouth pressing against mine cut off that train of thought with remarkable efficiency. I let out a little squeak of surprise, but then my body reacted just as fiercely. I kissed him back with everything I had. Throwing my arms around his neck, I pressed myself against him, going up on tip-toes to get close.
He groaned against my lips, his arms crushing me to him as the kiss turned frantic, but no less electric than our first kiss. His lips were warm and firm as they molded to mine, tasting and exploring like we might never have another kiss.
But I didn’t want that to be true. I wanted this to be the first of many. I suddenly and desperately needed him to know that.
I pulled back, panting to catch my breath so I could talk. But he beat me to it. “Don’t tell me you just got caught up in the performance,” he growled. I winced as I remembered that was exactly how I’d explained away our last kiss. My first kiss.
I shook my head quickly. “I wanted to kiss you.”
I saw the surprise in his eyes as well as something so infinitely sweet and vulnerable, it made my chest ache. I’d seen hope. Tentative hope, the kind of hope you don’t want to get out of control in case you’re wrong.
“Did you write that song for me?” That wasn’t exactly what I’d intended to say but the question blurted out of my mouth before I could stop it.
I got my answer instantly when he scratched the back of his neck and scowled down at the ground. I was so glad he didn’t try to play dumb. What song? He knew what song and I got my answer.
Still, hearing him admit it was pretty incredible. He gave me a little lopsided smile that made my heart melt. “You figure that out, huh?”
I grinned like an idiot. I couldn’t help it. Someone wrote a song about me. No, Jack wrote a song about me, and it was hot and sexy and sweet and utterly perfect.
Some of his discomfort seemed to ease with my obvious delight. “I’ve had a thing for you since the first time I saw you.”
I stopped breathing. I’m pretty sure the earth stopped spinning. He sounded so serious—not mocking, no teasing—just his emotions pouring out as if it wasn’t the gutsiest thing in the world.
Gutsy and hot. I’d had no idea how sexy it could be to be honest, but on Jack it looked damn good.
“At Beth’s party?” I asked.
He shook his head. “I noticed you before that, in school. On
my first day I heard you singing. You were auditioning for the fall musical and I’d been practicing in the storage closet.”
His grin was adorably sheepish. “I heard everyone, but when you started to sing….” He slapped a hand over his heart and tilted his head back as if the memory alone slayed him. “I had to see who had such an amazing voice, so I snuck in the back.”
I clamped my mouth shut to hold back a giddy laugh. “So, you had a crush on my voice?”
His eyes widened comically. “A crush? Of course not. I fell in love with your voice. Then I saw you and I was a goner.”
Breathing became difficult. Had he just used the L-word? Was he honestly standing here just admitting to falling for me like it was no big deal?
“And then I started watching you,” he continued. He winced slightly, “Not in a creepy way, just… I was intrigued.”
“Uh huh.” I tried to sound nonchalant, like a lot of guys admitted to watching me because they’d fallen in love with me. Sure, it happened all the time.
He reached out and brushed some hair back from my face. “You, Layla James, are intriguing.”
I could feel heat rush to my cheeks. “How so?”
His grin was small and sweet, and the way he looked at me made me feel… precious. Like I was cherished and adored.
“You’re an enigma,” he stated.
I laughed at that. “Me? An enigma? I don’t think so. You’re the one with the furrowed brow and the smug smirks.”
Now he was laughing too. “What are you talking about?” But before I could answer, he continued with a shake of his head. “You were an enigma. You had this amazing talent and on stage you just… glowed. I don’t know how else to say it, you had more charisma in your little finger than most lead singers I know.”
Joy spread through me making me warm and fuzzy. Or maybe that was due to the fact that I was still in his arms, we were still pressed together head to toe.
“But you were such a mystery,” he said, “Because off stage you were so quiet, so unassuming. I saw you interact with your friends, I watched how you lit up, how you made the people around you laugh and smile.”
He leaned down and I could feel his warm breath against my cheek as he spoke softly into my ear. “I wanted to be around that… around you. But I didn’t know how.”
“So you mocked me,” I said.
I heard the quick inhale that accompanies a wince. “Yeah. I guess I didn’t handle that very well, huh?” Before I could respond, he added, “But I just wanted to get your attention. You seemed to be in this world of your own and I didn’t know how to get you to notice me. You only seemed to notice your close friends… and Dylan.”
Now it was my turn to wince and I pulled back so I could see his face. His eyes were hard to read, but I’d heard the frustration in his voice, clear as a bell.
“I’m sorry,” I said and then bit my lip as I realized that I’d spoken too quickly. “No, I’m not sorry.”
He gave me a funny smirk and I felt him pull back a bit. I wrapped my arms tighter. I didn’t want to let him go. “I can’t apologize because it wasn’t intentional,” I said, trying to explain.
I felt him relax a bit, which helped me to relax. One of his hands rubbed the small of my back in little circles which was both comforting and distracting. I just wanted to relax against him and lose myself in another mind erasing, heart clenching kiss.
But I needed to clear the air. He’d been so honest with me… so brave. The least he deserved in return was the same kind of honesty.
“I’d had a crush on Dylan for as long as I could remember.” I refused to look away even when he cringed. “It was a stupid childish crush that had nothing to do with who we really were as people. It was all about some stupid ideas I had about true love and fate, ideas I came up with in fifth grade and clung to because it was easier to focus on some unattainable love than it was to actually interact with boys.”
His eyes flickered over my face, his expression uncharacteristically serious.
Huh. I hadn’t even needed Amy’s help to figure that one out. It all seemed so obvious right now, standing here with Jack, a real live guy who actually liked me. Compared to that, Dylan seemed like such a far-off fantasy, pale and watery in comparison. My feelings for him seemed so childish next to this aching need I felt whenever Jack was around.
No, it wasn’t need, exactly, it was… It was something so much more. My breath caught in my throat as the enormity of it hit me. This was what it meant to fall for someone. It wasn’t a crush from afar, it wasn’t idolizing someone and hoping they noticed you, it was this.
He lowered his head and his lips brushed over mine, gently this time. So tender and sweet it made my heart ache.
I liked this guy. I truly liked him—not like some crush who I’d thought was perfect. I’d gotten to know the real Jack—the guy whose laugh made me want to laugh, whose teasing brought me out of my shell, the guy who gave me his sweatshirt to make sure I was warm, who gave me that smirk that made my insides twist with longing, the guy who saw my inner rock star goddess before I even had an inkling she existed.
The guy who saw me when I’d done my best to be invisible.
“Thank you,” I said, the words slipping out despite the fact that he had no idea where my mind had just gone.
Sure enough, his brows shot up in surprise. “For kissing you?” There was that smirk I was starting to adore, especially when his eyes got that dark look that made me shiver. “Trust me, it’s my pleasure.”
I thought about explaining all the reasons I was grateful to him, but there’d be plenty of time for that. We had all the time in the world for talking. Right now, I wanted more kisses.
I smiled up at him, feeling braver than I’d ever felt before, in large part thanks to this guy right here who’d shoved me so far out of my comfort zone, there was no going back. “Thank you for being my first kiss.”
I caught the flicker of heat in his eyes as his arms tightened around me, possessive and protective. Leaning down his lips brushed against mine, but he didn’t kiss me. Not yet, at least. He let out a soft groan. “We should go back. There are a lot of people who’ve just discovered the singing genius of Miss Layla James,” he teased. “Don’t you want to meet your adoring new fans?”
If we went back we’d be surrounded by Dylan, Stephanie, and their friends. People I’d gone to school with but hadn’t really known. People who hadn’t really known me. Maybe if Amy and my drama friends had been there, I would have wanted to go back. But as it was, there was only one person in this town who I wanted to spend my night with, and he was right here in my arms.
“We’ve got all week to hang out with our classmates,” I said.
His grin was quick and made my heart race with excitement. “I was hoping you’d say that.” He pulled me tighter against him and gave me a kiss that was too quick before smiling against my lips. “So, will you stay, lady, stay?”
I laughed as I recognized the line from the Bob Dylan song that had started this love-hate relationship in the first place. Funny, but I was starting to develop a whole new love for Bob Dylan. “You know, I think we should do a cover of that song.”
He smiled down at me. “That’s a great idea.” His look turned hesitant, a rare glimpse of vulnerability in this cocky musician. My cocky musician, I amended with a grin.
“So does that mean you’ll keep singing with me after Senior Week is over?”
I opened my mouth to say yes but he cut me off. “Because you know the band is breaking up after this last gig, but I think maybe you and I could do something better and—”
I cut him off with a kiss that left us both winded.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” he murmured.
I didn’t respond, partly because answering that question led to so many more. Like how this was going to work when I went off to college, and what this would mean for my theater career. All things we needed to discuss, but not right now. The future could wait. Tonight, I wa
nted to live in the moment. No overanalyzing, no deep discussions about the future.
“You know this whole kissing thing is still new to me,” I said. “I think I’m going to need some more practice.”
He grinned down at me. “Funny, I was just thinking you were a natural. But who am I to argue? If the lady says she needs practice, I am happy to oblige.” He reached down and twined my fingers through his, tugging me toward the beach. “Come on, rock star, the night is young and I’m in love.”
The L-word hung out there between us as I gaped at him, torn between giddy laughter and the urge to throw myself into his arms. Was this love? My heart was trying to leap out of my chest as my whole body vibrated with a joy I’d never known was possible.
He glanced back at me and whatever he saw there made him laugh. “Did I scare you off with love talk?”
I blinked in response. I was speechless at this new, happy-go-lucky guy in front of me who was throwing out the word love like it was no big deal.
He wrapped an arm around my shoulder so I would keep moving. My feet had come to a stop of their own accord as my brain raced to keep up.
He sighed with mock impatience. “Sometimes I forget how slow to the uptake you are, Layla.”
“Slow?” It came out as a squeak. “What are you talking about?”
He grinned down at me. “Just look how long it took you to figure out that I like you and you like me.” He shook his head. “I should have known you wouldn’t be ready to hear that I love you.”
I gaped some more. Speech was not happening anytime soon.
He gave me a wink and dropped a kiss on the top of my head. “Don’t worry. You’ll catch up.”
Epilogue
He was right. I caught up. It took a million conversations, including one epically long phone call with Amy, but by the time the Summer Fling party came around on our last night of Senior Week, I was ready to admit that I was in love. Head over heels, crazy, mind-blowing love.
Senior Week Crush Page 13
