For the First Time

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For the First Time Page 16

by Stephanie Doyle


  “Show-off.”

  “It’s one of my many talents.”

  “You’re not going to do something stupid right now, like give me your card.” JoJo was suddenly afraid she might take it. Talking to Greg was easy. Like he was a person she instantly knew even though she’d only just met him.

  “I told you, I don’t have a practice. If you want to talk, Mark has my number. If you don’t want Mark to know we’re talking then find a way to get the number without him knowing. You’re a private eye so it should be easy for you.”

  JoJo walked to the cab. “Thanks. I’ll…consider it.”

  Greg smiled and she found herself warming to that smile. He seemed like a truly nice guy.

  “Great, I’m going to go and finish your dinner. You don’t have a problem with that, right?”

  “Go eat with my blessing. And tell Mark—when Sophie’s not around—that I said, go to hell.”

  Greg smiled. “Nice play. It will keep him on edge.”

  JoJo got into the backseat and gave the driver directions. As she sat back, it occurred to her that she had been playing with Mark since the moment they’d met. When she’d worn a turtleneck and hair extensions and had tried to convince him she was someone else.

  He’d seen through that disguise. So she’d put on another.

  Maybe that was the problem with them. Maybe it was time for the games to end.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  “OH, MY GOSH, I’m going to get sick.”

  Mark smiled at Nancy’s fear, but also her excitement at standing on what felt like the top of the world. They were on the Skydeck in the Willis Tower and Nancy had braved the glass balcony to look straight down on the city.

  It wasn’t a sight for people with acrophobia. Hell, it wasn’t a sight for anyone who didn’t like roller coasters, but Nancy was braving it out. For about five seconds. Then she hopped out and Mark offered her his hand.

  “Wow. That was… I’m not sure if I liked it…but thank you. I never do things like that. Daring things.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  They made their way to the elevator and descended to the city streets. Wandering in the direction of the hotel but stopping occasionally so Nancy could window-shop.

  “I want to thank you for the whole day.” Nancy beamed at him from under a red hat that matched her sweater. While nearly April, the city of Chicago didn’t seem to be aware of it. “First the brat sandwiches and the walk along the lake and now this. I feel like I really got to see Chicago.”

  A twinge of guilt surfaced and Mark tamped it down. “It worked out. JoJo was on top of Sophie’s schedule all day. Since Sophie isn’t speaking to me, I figured it best to make myself scarce. Besides, it was a lot to ask for you to come out here and keep Sophie on schedule with her class work. I wanted you to enjoy the experience.”

  It almost sounded like the truth. And it partly was. It was nice of her to agree to the trip and to help keep Sophie’s schedule routine.

  It was also true that Sophie didn’t want anything to do with him. Neither did JoJo.

  Nancy seemed like his best bet if he wanted anyone to speak to him today.

  Except he couldn’t avoid the fact that he was using her. JoJo wasn’t speaking to him but JoJo knew where the hell he was and who he was with. He’d made sure of it.

  When Greg came back to the restaurant, he’d let Mark know that JoJo had gotten a cab and was headed back to her place. While Bay stood watch over Sophie’s very long bathroom break, Greg continued to clean up all the remaining food and in between bites told Mark that he was screwing up with JoJo.

  You like her. Admit it. Stop making this a competition between the two of you and treat her like a woman you want in your life.

  Which was part of the problem. Since Helen, Mark never had a woman in his life. A woman in his bed, sure, but not his life. Suggesting honesty and openness was so like Greg. Pathetic. Instead he chose to ignore her as much as she was ignoring him. On the plane, with the three of them seated in the same row, he pretended it was perfectly natural to go two hours without saying a word.

  Which was why over breakfast he’d told Sophie about his plans to take Nancy sightseeing. Sophie, who had been sitting with JoJo. No doubt Greg wouldn’t approve. Mark was still playing games. Only this time with Nancy. It wasn’t fair.

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Sure.” Mark was wondering how the hell he was going to get them both back to the hotel without her thinking this had been a date.

  “Was this a date?”

  So much for that plan.

  “I’m sorry?” There it was. Classic asshole maneuver. Invite a woman out, show her the city, feed her some brats, but then act shocked that she should suggest it was exactly what it was.

  “Oh. Gosh. I’m sorry. Maybe that was presumptuous…”

  Mark watched her flush and fidget with her gloved hands. He hung his head in self-disgust. He was getting close to forty and he was still completely and totally clueless when it came to women.

  Why the hell did it have to be so hard? What the hell was wrong with him that he couldn’t behave like a normal man, in a perfectly normal situation? It was like he didn’t know how to be a good guy even if he tried.

  Because you’re not normal. Something broke inside a long time ago and instead of fixing it, you plastered over it.

  Sadly, that sounded about right. He wanted to kick himself in the ass again for what he’d done to JoJo. Not Sophie or Bay. He didn’t blame himself one bit for eliminating Bay as a suspect. Not only did he need to know that the threat was still out there and it was real, but he also needed to assure himself that the kid who spent more time with his daughter than he did was on the up-and-up. Greg’s confirmation was all the proof he needed.

  But suggesting to JoJo that she needed help, needed psychology when he was completely messed up in the head, too, was condescending.

  So now he was a condescending asshole. At least he could fix part of this.

  “Nancy, stop,” he said, reaching out to take one of the hands that was fidgeting with her jean skirt. Which was shorter than others he’d seen her wear. Outdated maybe, but paired with the red sweater and the black knee-high boots, he could tell she’d dressed for her version of a date.

  “Mark, I didn’t mean to imply anything. It just took me off guard that…”

  “This was a date. In every aspect this was a date.”

  “Oh.”

  He pulled her off the busy street and into an alleyway between two city buildings. It was quieter and Mark realized it was because the buildings sheltered them from the brisk wind that he’d gotten used to over the course of their walk.

  “Look, I feel really bad,” he said.

  “You didn’t have a good time. Of course you didn’t. You were probably bored. It was just a stupid high-rise building. You’ve probably seen it a ton of times.”

  “No, no. Today was nice.” Be a man. But don’t be a jerk. “I…I guess I wanted to see maybe what it might be like for us on a date.”

  “Okay.”

  “Unfortunately, I think my head isn’t all the way into this. I think I shortchanged you.”

  “Because you maybe have feelings for JoJo?” Her eyebrows were high on her forehead and Mark considered that the woman wasn’t a fool. It was actually one of things he liked about her. She was smart without having to try to prove it all the time.

  Unlike him.

  He was pretty sure he should lie at this point. He didn’t want Nancy to think she’d been used. He didn’t want Sophie to know about any feelings he may or may not have for JoJo, although he hoped Nancy wouldn’t share that kind of information with a pupil. However, he also didn’t want to mislead her. He’d been enough of a dick to her as it was.

  “Maybe. I don’t know.”

  She smiled then. A little sadly, but it was easy to tell she wasn’t crushed. She’d known the whole time where he stood. “JoJo and I are not alike.”

  He s
norted. Understatement of the year. Nancy was calm, and sweet, and nice. Easy to be with. Mark was never easy around JoJo. “No, you are not.”

  “I think that’s why I asked you the question. I had a feeling you and JoJo were more of each other’s type. So when this started to feel like a date…I was curious.”

  “You’re anyone’s type, Nancy.”

  And she was. He’d done his normal research when he hired her, but there wasn’t a hell of a lot to learn about her past. She’d been adopted at a fairly late age, but that wasn’t altogether unusual. She grew up with a very sedate middle-class couple. Went to state college, became a teacher and was laid off because of state budget cuts. He’d found no debt other than a car payment and a small student loan and no outstanding warrants. The most exciting thing about her was her Match.com page because it suggested she wasn’t entirely averse to taking a risk.

  She was warm and pleasant to be around. She had a nice smile and would make a great date for anyone who wanted to ask her out. Which made his reaction to her, a reaction that could best be described as nothing, stupid.

  This would be so much easier!

  It was his brain talking. Sadly men rarely let their brains rule when it came to sex.

  Nancy shrugged. “That’s nice to say but it hasn’t always been my experience.”

  “No luck on the blind date?”

  He’d remembered her mentioning it. He also remembered thinking it would be a good thing if it did work out for her and her anonymous friend. Then he could completely ignore the logical part of his brain, which insisted that a relationship with a very steady, very safe person would be a good idea to establish stability in his life. Because ultimately, that wasn’t what he wanted.

  “No. It was okay. But he never invited me on a second date. I think he was seeing someone else later in the week. He mentioned another email. I guess things worked out with her better. I don’t ever seem to be the first pick, you know. Always second.”

  “Listen, let’s go grab something to eat. We can talk about how it sucks to be single.”

  Nancy reached out and grabbed his hand. He could feel the stiffness of the leather gloves she wore around his fingers. “Look, Mark, you’re a nice guy. And maybe I was curious, too. But we both know we’re much better off with you as my boss and me as your daughter’s tutor.”

  “And friend.”

  “Okay,” she agreed as if considering that option. “Friend.”

  “So as my friend, will you come eat with me?”

  She shook her head. “Friendship doesn’t just happen. You have to earn it. Work for it. I actually don’t have a lot of friends in my life for that reason. I don’t really do casual acquaintances and my best friend, she was like a sister to me…well, I lost her a long time ago. It changed me.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Her eyes were unfocused and he guessed she was thinking about her lost friend. Missing her. “People always say that. I’m sorry. But you didn’t do anything to hurt her. I’m never sure why people say that.”

  Mark remembered thinking the same thing when he’d said the same words to JoJo. How pointless they really were. “Maybe because it’s the only thing we can say.”

  “Maybe. Walk me back to the hotel?”

  “Absolutely.”

  They made their way back into the bustle of the street and Mark considered the idea of having to work for a friendship. He didn’t really have many friends, either. Ben and Anna certainly qualified. Maybe even to an extent Greg, although because Mark liked to bust the man’s balls simply for the fun of it, he wasn’t sure if Greg felt the same way about him.

  Then there was JoJo. JoJo didn’t necessarily feel like a friend.

  It was odd. Completely bizarre that the thought should occur to him, but when he thought of JoJo his instant reaction was to place her in context with Sophie.

  When he thought of JoJo, he thought of…family.

  *

  AFTER SLIDING HIS key card into the door of the hotel suite, Mark walked in to the sound of laughter.

  “Shut up!”

  “No, seriously, I want those shoes.”

  “They are totally tacky.”

  “Tacky is the new black. I’m ordering them online and you will see.”

  Mark paused for a second, taking in the two women on the couch. JoJo and Sophie were both sitting in the common area between their two rooms. Mark had one bedroom. Sophie and JoJo were in the other.

  He couldn’t ask for better protection for his daughter and the truth was he couldn’t ask for a better friend for her, either. Talk about something that neither one of them had to work for. It was like Sophie and JoJo had fallen into friendship headfirst. Although he could see Sophie still respected JoJo’s role. She was a professional. Sophie gave her that credit. However, Sophie was also going to tell JoJo when she thought her shoe choice was tacky.

  He coughed into his hand to let them know he was there. At the small sound, they both picked their heads up out of the magazine they were reading and looked at him. Sophie immediately stood up and went to her room. The door was heavy, so it was hard to slam, but somehow she managed.

  “My daughter. The door slammer.”

  “She really makes an art of it.”

  “What about you? Forgive me yet?”

  “No, I just have no desire to leave the couch. How was your date with Nancy?”

  Mark took off the heavy peacoat he’d worn to protect him from Chicago’s ridiculously cold spring weather. He sat next to her on the couch in a heavy slump. He felt parts of her body pressed up against his and he liked that she didn’t move.

  “Please tell me I made you jealous.”

  “Why would I tell you that?”

  He smiled inwardly, knowing that what she was really thinking was why would I tell you that…even if it was true. At least that’s what his sometimes delusional brain came up with and it satisfied him.

  “So that I might have at least accomplished one of my missions today because the other was a colossal failure.”

  “You wanted to make me jealous?”

  “I did. I know it makes me a jerk. You may or may not have started to detect that’s a theme with me. But I liked the idea of knowing you didn’t want me going out with Nancy. I liked better the idea of you thinking about me all day.”

  She didn’t say anything for a while, just let the silence close in around them.

  “What was your other mission?”

  “To see if I could stop thinking about you and start thinking about Nancy. Because she’s safe and easy and stable, which are all the things I want in my life now that I’m with Sophie.”

  In general, honesty was always a risk. He really hoped Greg was right about this shit. He thought JoJo might prefer it to subterfuge, which was his normal operating agenda.

  “It didn’t work?”

  He was sure he heard smug satisfaction in her voice. He couldn’t blame her for it. She was right.

  “Nope.”

  “Doesn’t really get us anywhere, does it? I’m still not going to be with you and you’re still going to fire me.”

  Mark reached out and put his hand on her thigh. She was wearing stretchy pants with black leather boots similar to Nancy’s, only JoJo’s black boots turned him on while Nancy’s had barely registered with him.

  The fabric hid nothing from his hand. He could feel the strength of the muscle. The way it tensed at his touch, but also the way after a minute it relaxed. He just needed to do that with her whole body.

  “You need to know I didn’t ask Greg to meet us at that restaurant because I want to screw you.”

  “No?”

  “No. I’m trying to be completely honest with you about everything so I need you to trust what I’m going to say now. I called Greg because I thought he could help you. I know he could help you. He’s easy to talk to and since there is no point in lying to him most people don’t. It makes his method of therapy-slash-nontherapy very effective.”

&nb
sp; “I told you I don’t want help.”

  Mark shook his head. “I don’t buy that. I don’t buy that because you’ve been letting me touch you for the last few minutes without trying to move away. You want to be touched, JoJo. It’s okay to feel that way.”

  She squirmed a bit, but he didn’t release her. Instead he moved his hand down so that instead of being on the front of her thigh it curved around the inside. Slowly he let it slide down a bit toward the center of her.

  He stopped when she fidgeted again, listening as her breathing sped up. For moments he held it, letting the intimacy of his touch register.

  “It’s okay to feel the swish of I-don’t-know-what in your belly. I don’t know if it feels the same for a woman. I know I’m feeling it, just having my hand here. So close to where you were touching yourself. I see you on my bed and it makes me crazy. Does it feel good?”

  She didn’t answer. Her eyes were closed. But he could see an almost imperceptible nod.

  “Does my hand feel a bit possessive? Like I can touch you here but nobody else can. Like I can touch you here…”

  He moved his hand, again sliding it up her thigh and cupping between her legs. He could hear the air pushing in and out of her nose so quickly it squeaked. But simultaneously, he could feel her body relaxing on the couch as the warmth of his hand covered her most intimate part. It seemed to fill her with a lethargy, which was as much a part of sex as the urgency that came with it.

  She’d had one foot on the floor and the heel of her other boot placed precariously on the edge of the couch. It lost its hold on the material and now both legs were on the floor and his hand was rubbing her subtly between her legs. Just enough to stir her desire, not enough to satisfy it.

  Not unless he pushed his hands into her pants, past her panties, to where she would be slick and his fingers might be able to…

  A thump from the other room had him snatching his hand away.

  “Holy shit, I forgot she was there.”

  Instantly, JoJo stood, crossing her arms over her chest, and one leg over the other as if to shield what he’d so recently had access to. “That was… I can’t…with her in the next room…”

 

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