by Jordan Ford
It’s hopeless.
Gripping my bag strap, I clench my jaw and turn for the door. “Whatever, I’m out.”
“Where are you going?” Mom barks.
I glance over my shoulder and shake my head. “Like you care.”
“Layla, of course I care.”
Opening the door, I step out into the cool, winter air and call over my shoulder, “I’m fine, Mom. Go and enjoy your marriage!”
“Layla!” she shouts, but it’s a pitiful call back. When I reach the mailbox, I glance over my shoulder to see if she’s going to follow me, but the front door is clicking shut. Turning right, I head to the main road. I still have no idea where I’m going. I should find Mack and go hang out with him, but then I’ll just spend my afternoon stressing about what I said at that party and whether or not I should tell him.
Pulling my jacket tight around my throat, I try to ward off the chill as I head out on my own. The road has never felt so quiet and isolated. I don’t even know if I want the sound of feet chasing me as I head away from the house. I guess it’s just kind of sad that I know no one will. If Dad were here, he’d be storming after me and telling me to come back. If I refused, he’d give chase and pluck me off the ground, carrying me back inside kicking and screaming.
“You do not speak to your mother that way!” he’d tell me, and I wouldn’t mind so much because at least it meant he cared. I miss him.
My eyes smart as I blink at my tears.
The truth is, if cancer hadn’t eaten him alive when I was twelve, I probably wouldn’t be storming out of my house. Because Derek wouldn’t be there and Mom wouldn’t be so in love with another man that she’s forgotten how to be a parent.
#4:
Defensive Plays
Finn
“Hut! Hut!” Mack shouts.
I snap the ball back into his hands and charge forward, lightly taking out Darius as he goes after my quarterback. We’re on Steinway Field, messing around in the late afternoon sunlight.
The air is cold, the ground is hard, and I have a huge smile on my face as I push Darius to the ground and start running forward to block for Colt. He’s laughing as he jumps around Will, spinning to avoid Ricco. I surge ahead and bump Ricco to the ground before he can tap Colt’s ankle.
We’re only playing a friendly game of touch football. With no pads or helmets, we’ve got to play it safe, but a few shoves and tackles here and there aren’t going to hurt anybody.
“Yes!” I raise my hands in the air and whoop as Colt crosses the line.
Tyler’s loud laughter echoes through the park as he does a little celebratory dance. Will gives him the finger, which only makes Ty dance that much harder.
I grin and hold my hands up for Colt to throw me the ball. I catch it easily and nestle it against my side as I jog back to the huddle.
We’ve only been playing for about twenty minutes and I’m already sweaty. Having spent most of the day building, I’m feeling pretty worked out. I’m gonna be tired by the end of the day.
The sound of Sammy’s skateboard clicking up and then swooshing down the ramp makes me look over my shoulder. She and the guys were already here when I arrived with Colt and Tori. Tyler and Darius left the ramp as we loped onto the grass, leaving Sammy to do tricks on her own. I spin and walk backwards so I can watch her bring the board up to the top of the ramp, then grind along the bar before dropping back down. Her fine hair flies beneath her backwards cap as she speeds down, this time jumping up and grabbing the bottom of the board before hitting the ramp again.
The girl’s got skills.
My eyes drift to Tori. She’s sitting on a picnic table a few feet in front of Sammy, reading a book. Well, trying to read. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s gotten through one page. Her eyes keep popping up to check out her boyfriend or watch Sammy skate or smile at the old guy walking his dog along the path.
When I looked up a few minutes ago, she was actually chatting with some kid who was skipping past and had stopped to watch Sammy do tricks.
“Finn, come on, man!” Mack shouts at me, and I spin away from Skater Girl and Pix. They’re so completely different. One’s a hard-ass tomboy and the other’s a sweet little talkaholic. I’m attracted to neither of them, so it’s easy to hang out and call them friends.
Not to get all soppy and sentimental, but it’s really hard not to be grateful for my life in moments like this. I’m surrounded by cool people who I love to hang out with. I’m really going to miss them when they all leave.
Flicking the ball in the air, I catch it against my chest then lean in to listen to Mack’s play.
“Okay, Colt and Ty, you go long on the outside and Finn can run a five yard out on the right.”
We all nod and jog back to our positions. I’m just crouching down to set the play when I notice Tori’s expression. Her lips, so often turned up in a smile, are pulled down tight at the edges, and her bright eyes are staring at something behind me.
I stand tall and look back to see what’s bothering her. My muscles bunch immediately, my face dipping into a scowl as Derek and his asshole buddy, Quaid Miller, get out of Derek’s car.
“Colt.” I catch his eye then nod in Tori’s direction.
He glances over, his face bunching into a frown when he sees her pale, frightened expression. He looks behind us and mutters, “Shit,” before jogging over to his girlfriend’s side.
“That’s right, pretty boy! You better get to her before I do,” Quaid shouts across the field.
Tori flinches while Quaid licks his lips, looking like a wolf who’s tracking his prey. His deep laughter grates on my nerves and I step up beside Mack, who’s already forming a barrier between these two and Tori. Tyler and his skating buddies join us and we’ve soon formed a solid wall of protection.
The sound of Sammy’s board on the ramp cuts off and I glance over my shoulder to see her jumping down and coming to stand beside Tori. She lays her board on the ground and holds it with her foot while leaning her hip against the table. Colt’s already there, wrapping his arm around Tori and whispering something in her ear.
Seeing Pix sandwiched by two fighters eases my unrest and I turn back to a smug-looking Derek. I have no idea what he’s so happy about. He looks like he’s just finished the best dessert he’s ever tasted. I frown at his expression, wondering what he’s up to. There’s no way these dickheads are stupid enough to take on eight guys and a skater girl with an iron fist.
“Get back in your car and keep driving, Dickman.” Mack’s words come out punchy and low.
“It’s not against the law to come and say hi to my precious stepbrother.” Derek’s eyes glimmer. “I haven’t had a chance to talk to you since you decided to throw your scholarship away.” He snickers. “Heard all about it, you big loser. Although, it’s probably good you’re quitting ball now. You wouldn’t have made it in college, anyway.”
Mack tenses beside me. I can feel the anger vibrating off him.
“I guess Big Mahoney’s boy is afraid he can’t live up to the legacy of a dead man.” Derek nods. “Smart move, though. Jump out of the fire before you get burned, right? That’s what a coward would do. And I expect nothing less from you.”
Mack’s breathing like a bull ready to charge. I nudge his elbow and murmur out the side of my mouth, “Stay calm.”
A muscle in his jaw clenches tight and he grinds out the words, “Just… get lost, okay?”
“It’s a free country, Mahoney.” Quaid smiles. “We can hang out wherever we want. I’m kind of liking the view right now.” He leans over to get a glimpse of Tori, his hungry eyes taunting Colt.
If he keeps doing that, Colt’s going to explode. It won’t take much more for my friend to come charging right past me to lay his fist into Quaid’s face. I glance down the line, noting the tense set of Tyler’s jaw and the way Will’s nostrils are flaring.
My already tight muscles knot as I prepare to step in and protect my friends…from themselves.
I
f Derek and Quaid do any more goading, I won’t be able to stop the guys from pummeling them into the ground, and then we’ll all be in the shit.
“Keep moving.” I lift my chin towards their car. “We don’t want any trouble.”
“From the sounds of it, you don’t need us for trouble. It follows you. Right, Mahoney?”
Mack’s forehead wrinkles in confusion and Derek tips his head, placing his finger over his lips as he thinks. “Or maybe it runs away from you.” He starts to laugh, then shakes his head with delight. “Of all the girls in the world you could fall for.” The triumph on his face is so freaking hittable right now. “Who knew that hot piece of kiwi on your bed was just a murdering little slut?”
Mack growls and lunges forward, but I grab his arm before he can reach his tormentor, swiveling my body to block him from attacking.
“Never be the one to throw the first punch,” I mutter my father’s advice while bracing my body against Mack’s thundering anger.
“Touchy subject, I see.” Derek laughs.
Quaid joins him. “I guess the rumors must be true, then.”
“Derek,” Mack yells, “if you’re responsible for those drawings, you’re a dead man!”
The guy stops short, his mouth opening with surprise before he throws his head back and starts laughing. “You mean you still don’t know who did it? Oh man, that’s priceless! This must be killing you!”
I glance over my shoulder and growl, “Get out of here!”
They both sound like hyenas as they laugh a little harder, then saunter back to the car. I don’t let Mack go until the car has pulled away. As soon as the tires squeal on the road, Mack shoves me off him and paces away from me, running his hands through his hair.
I stand my ground and wait for him to pace back. The guys all move away, knowing what Mack can be like. Will, Darius and Ricco lift their chins at me, grabbing their boards and bike and making a quick escape. The rest of us linger, slowly walking over to Tori and Colt.
Pixie Girl is sitting on her hands now, leaning into Colt’s chest. He’s looking pretty steamed, rubbing her arm up and down like that’s what he needs to do to stay calm.
“I hate it when those guys come over to Nelson,” he mutters.
“Yeah.” Mack shakes his head. “I forgot Derek was in town this weekend. I left the house as soon as he walked in the door. Didn’t know Quaid was coming over, though.” He pulls out his phone and unlocks the screen. “How the hell did he find out about Kaija?” Mack spits out the question while his fingers fly over the screen.
I’m guessing he’s texting Layla. He’s always more protective of his sister when Derek’s in town.
“Who knows, but he looked kind of surprised when you accused him of those drawings.” Tyler crosses his arms. He’s standing next to Sammy, looking grim, which is an expression I don’t see very often on my goofy friend.
“I still think it was someone at Nelson.” Sammy flicks her board up, catching it and nestling it against her hip. “No one from Brownridge even knew Kaija. It doesn’t make sense. Derek just likes goading you. He probably doesn’t know shit.”
“He knew about the murdering little slut part.” Mack frowns, the words obviously still hurting him. His phone dings and he checks it right away. His tight expression relaxes as he reads the message.
“All good?” I flick his arm with the back of my fingers.
“Yeah, Layla’s been at the mall all day. I just wanted to give her a heads-up that Derek’s around. Hopefully, she’ll stay the night at Roxy’s or something.”
I nod, not saying anything as I picture his little sister. It must kind of suck feeling like you can’t even hang out in your own house when your stepbrother comes to stay. I know Derek’s a total douche. He likes to taunt, but he must take it to the extreme sometimes if Mack and Layla aren’t even willing to be in the house when he’s around.
Makes me grateful for my simple life.
Things are a hell of a lot easier when you don’t have to deal with evil stepsiblings, and you don’t fall for girls who have done stupid stuff in the past. I’m not judging. From everything Mack’s said and from what I saw for myself, Kaija’s a good person, but she got caught up in the wrong crowd.
I’m just glad I haven’t fallen for a girl who could throw me into it. Because knowing me, when I finally find the girl for me, I’ll do anything and everything to defend her.
#5:
Pinky Promise
Layla
Mack’s blue and orange Camaro rumbles into the school parking lot. As soon as he’s eased into a space near the entrance, I pop the passenger door open and make a quick exit. It’s hard to be around him at the moment. I’m trying to put on a good show, but Mack’s always been able to read me. Thankfully, he’s still too dazed and miserable to be looking properly, so I’m getting away with it.
I glance over my shoulder as I walk away from my big brother. He’s locking up his car and giving Colt and Tori a half-hearted smile. Tori looks kind of sad as she approaches him. She rubs his arm with a kind smile. I don’t know what she just said, but Mack grins.
My heart pinches. Why does she have to be so freaking nice all the time? I don’t want to like that little Raiders’ thief, but she makes it really hard to hate her. Michelle was so upset when Colt got together with the hippie freak. Out of loyalty for one of my best friends, I’ve been throwing Tori nasty glares and stonewalling her at social events. But she always takes it so well, bounces back with this Pixie Girl charm that only she possesses. It’s freaking annoying.
I stomp up the school steps, trying to escape my guilt. It’s a constant feeling that only seems to get heavier the longer I live. I keep screwing up, doing stupid shit that makes me unhappy. But I don’t know how to stop myself. How do I rein it all in when life just keeps getting harder?
I’m going to lose Mack soon. Who am I kidding? I’ve already lost him to a kiwi girl, one who blames him for outing her when it was really all my fault. I took his one little comment about her understanding what it’s like to be part of a cool crowd and blew it completely out of proportion. Thanks to my drunken rant, some heartless bastard went digging and stripped her bare. So now Mack’s lost her and I’ve lost him and it’s all just so screwed up!
Roxy and Michelle graduate at the end of this year too. Everyone’s leaving me. How am I supposed to outrun my pain when I’ll be all alone with no one to distract me?
Crossing my arms, I grip my biceps and stalk to my locker. I need to prepare myself for a shitty day. Roxy didn’t reply to my apology text, which means she’s still pissed, and Michelle, for some weird reason, always takes her side.
I roll my eyes and open my locker. I can feel a few ogling stares on my ass. I’m wearing my skinny jeans with knee-high boots. They hug my butt pretty tight, but I can’t exactly wear sweatpants to school. There’s a certain expectation when it comes to Layla Mahoney, and I don’t think I could cope with the reaction if I ever chose not to meet any of them.
My locker is jam-packed with books I couldn’t care less about. I tried to choose subjects this year that would interest me, but so far nothing’s really sparking my attention. World history isn’t too bad, I suppose, but statistics? Kill me now.
Why I decided to choose a mathematical subject, I will never know. I’ve never had a brain for numbers. It was a stupid move. At least I’ll know for next year.
“Hey.” Roxy’s behind me, her voice soft and sweet.
I can’t see her expression yet, so it could just be an act. Spinning slowly, I face my friend and feel my insides uncoil.
She’s smiling. It’s just a little one, but it looks pretty genuine.
“Thanks for your text. I came over to see you but you weren’t there.”
“Yeah, well, Derek showed up so I made myself disappear.” I run a hand through my glossy hair and let it float back down around my face. “I’m really sorry for what I said. You know I didn’t mean it, right?”
“Yeah.” Roxy shr
ugs, then brushing her finger beneath her lower lip. “I guess I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have gone off on you like that. I was just shocked. You’re my favorite female.” She winks. “And I didn’t like that you thought I could do something so low.”
Relief pulses through me and I resist the urge to wrap my arms around her and start crying. “I shouldn’t have said it. I’m just trying to figure out why my brother gave up everything he’s been working so hard for.”
“Because that bitch brought out the crazy in him.” Her blue eyes swirl dark, her expression radiating with angst. “Thank God she’s gone.”
“I don’t know, Rox. He… He really cares about her. I think she brought out the best in him. I don’t even know what that feels like. Imagine being with someone who made you want to be a better person rather than the guys we’re used to. They treat us like recycled goods.”
Roxy’s lips part, her eyebrows rising. “Seriously, what is going on with you at the moment? You’re like one of the coolest people in this school. Do you know how many girls would love to be in your position? Stop talking trash.”
I give in with a soft sigh and turn back to my locker to rearrange my books.
Roxy’s face pops into view as she shuffles around beside me. “Okay, so maybe I don’t get it. Kaija just pissed me off, acting all high and mighty, stealing yet another Raider out from under us. It’s not fair. And yeah, I guess I feel a little sorry for her. What happened must have really sucked, but come on, you’ve got to admit that her leaving is for the best.”
I look to my friend with a pained frown. “Mack’s miserable, and it’s my fault. How is that for the best?”
