That was the legend. Obviously, they don’t literally weave a tapestry of life with a loom full of string, but legend was shockingly close to reality. However you wanted to explain it, they controlled destiny. They literally held life and death in their hands. I turned my focus back to Annen.
“What about them?” I asked.
I glanced over my shoulder nervously, as though they might appear at any minute simply because we were talking about them. You never know. They were just that frightening.
“They aren’t what you think,” Annen stated calmly. “You have always believed that they are good and spiritual beings intent on keeping order in life. But they’re not. They are simply drunk on power. And they have lived so long that they have grown bored. They play games with the lives that they were trusted to protect.”
“What do you mean… games?” I asked hesitantly.
“I brought you here so you could see firsthand for yourself, so that you don’t have to take my word for it. You and Cleopatra died tragic deaths here, along with Iras, Marc Antony and Hasani. You made sure of it because you thought it was all part of a master plan, correct?”
“Of course. That was the path meant for all of us in this life. It was my job to make it so. I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”
“I’m trying to explain to you that there is no such thing as true Fate. You all died horribly for no reason at all. Charmian, you have been manipulated as a tool for centuries at the whims of three old women. Period.”
I sat in stunned silence for a moment, staring at him uncertainly.
“I don’t believe you.”
“Of course you don’t. It goes against everything you’ve been taught. You’ve been groomed to believe that you have a higher purpose- that you have been acting for the good of all mankind. But you haven’t. It’s time for you to realize that and do something about it.”
The room seemed to whirl around me as I weighed what he was saying to me. Could it be? But that wouldn’t make any sense. The Fates, the Moirae, had always been. If they weren’t meant to handle destiny, then who was?
“Charmian, as I said, I don’t expect you to simply take my word for it. You know what is supposed to happen here. In one week’s time, Octavian will arrive in Alexandria. Rome will crush Egypt. You, Cleopatra, Iras, Marc Antony and Hasani will all die. But I’m proposing something else. I think you should change it.”
My eyes flew to his and I gasped. “Change it?”
“Yes. Change it. Change it so that you live, so that Cleopatra accomplishes what she most wanted to do… which is to keep a member of the Ptolemy family on Egypt’s throne.
“You have the benefit of knowing now how things will unfold. You can anticipate Octavian’s moves before he makes them. Use that ability and change everything. Then you will see that your actions don’t truly matter…because there is no set destiny, Charmian, as the Fates would have you believe.”
I was in a stupor. This went against everything that I had ever believed and suddenly the biblical story of the Garden of Eden sprang to mind… how Eve had been tempted by the serpent into eating from the tree of life. This must have been how she felt, because a part of me, a part that was growing larger by the moment, wanted to believe Annen, even though it felt really wrong. The Fates always placed me in horrific circumstances. If I could escape it… if I could save Hasani… nothing else mattered. I would accept the consequences.
Before I could think another rational thought, however, an enormous black shadow seemed to overtake the room, stretching from corner to corner. Giant black shadow wings appeared on the wall of my bedchamber before they quickly folded and materialized into the shape of a man standing in front of me.
Ahmose. My ancient, wise handler. I breathed a sigh of relief. He would be able to make sense of this.
“What are you doing?” he hissed to Annen. “How did you escape?”
As they stood side by side, their physical similarities were astounding. They were both ancient and wrinkled with glittering black kohl-rimmed eyes. Their heads were shaved and they both wore long black robes. They seemed to have been cast from the same mold.
“What do you think I am doing?” Annen countered calmly. “I’m explaining to Charmian a few things that she deserves to know. Did you think they could keep me imprisoned forever?”
“You know nothing!” Ahmose spit angrily. “And you should not speak of that which you do not know!” He turned to me.
“Charmian, you have known me a very long time. I would not lead you astray. Do not listen to his lies.”
His tone was almost pleading and it alarmed me. He was all-knowing, always in control. Why did he feel the need to appeal to me? I was just a Keeper. He was an Aegis, an elevated priest who stood directly before the Fates on a regular basis. Before I could consider his motives further, though, Annen leaned toward me.
“Remember what I’ve told you, Charmian. Every word is true. We’ll speak more later,” he rasped, before he was suddenly gone. I spun around the room in a circle—but he had disappeared. I turned warily back to Ahmose, who was standing in place, calmly assessing me.
“I don’t understand any of this,” I said softly. “Was he telling the truth?”
“I’m not certain what exactly he told you, Charmian, but I can assure you that I’ve never lied to you.”
“Not that you know of,” I continued carefully. “But maybe you’ve been lied to, as well.”
“Do not go down that path, Charmian,” he cautioned. “It is true that I am not always informed of the Moirae’s motives or intentions. But I do know that we have a higher purpose and it has always been just. Think about this- do you really think there is no plan to life? That things are meant to simply fall where they may? I think not. That would be utter chaos.”
“But if Annen is lying, then what is his motive?” I pondered. “And who imprisoned him?”
“I do not know his motive,” Ahmose admitted. “And I don’t know many details of his imprisonment. All I know is that he was captured by the Moirae here in Alexandria long ago. I do not know their reason and I haven’t seen him since...until now. But let us not waste any more time on it. He is clearly misguided. Come now. Take out your bloodstone- let us return you to where you belong.”
Normally, I wouldn’t have let the matter rest, except one important thing distracted me now. My bloodstone was no longer lying on the bed.
I whirled around, gazing at every corner of the room. It wasn’t here. My panicked eyes met Ahmose’s.
“What?” he demanded. “What is wrong?”
“My bloodstone,” I whispered. “It’s not here. Annen must have taken it with him. Which means..”
“Which means that you are trapped here,” Ahmose confirmed, staring harshly at me.
“I’m sorry,” I stammered. “I had no idea that he would take it…”
But Ahmose was already shaking his head.
“I cannot be angry with you for that, Charmian,” he muttered. “Annen stole your bloodstone from my safe-keeping. So how could I be angry with you for the same thing?”
He turned and stared out the windows at the sparkling sea, his back rigid and ramrod straight. He stayed silent and unmoving for so long that I was getting ready to prompt him when he turned to me again.
“Charmian, whatever his motives are, he is trying to force your hand. He has trapped you here for a reason. Perhaps he wants you to change things to an outcome that better suits him. I know not. But you must not change anything. Do you understand the seriousness of our situation? We’re treading a very treacherous line.”
I nodded, even as I remembered Annen’s words. He absolutely wanted me to change things. But not to suit him. The outcome was meaningless to him. Annen wanted to prove to me that my whole existence had been a lie.
“But Hasani…” I whispered painfully.
“Hasani died as he was meant to,” Ahmose said firmly. “His death was not your fault.”
“But I cou
ld save him now,” I replied, sticking my chin out. “I don’t see what saving one Egyptian soldier would hurt.”
“You can’t,” Ahmose reiterated. “You must carry out your mission.”
He stared at me with steely black eyes and I felt like crumpling to the floor in a heap.
I knew my place in the world. I had been a Keeper for centuries. What I was supposed to do was obvious. I should find Annen, retrieve my bloodstone and leave this place… letting destiny unroll as it was meant. But the attachment I felt to Hasani was absolute. I couldn’t allow him to suffer a horrific fate.
Hasani was the only thing that mattered.
“Ahmose?” I whispered. “I don’t think I can.”
“Of course you can,” he replied firmly. “You don’t have a choice, Charmian. Hasani will die no matter what. Even if you intercede and stop his fate, he will die eventually. Everyone does. But if you change the fate that is meant for him, the ripple effects from that action could be devastating. You cannot.”
The confusion muddling my thoughts was sickening. Was he right? Deep down, I figured he probably was. Fate was what it was. I didn’t write it- I just carried it out. But that didn’t make the knowledge that my own actions would lead to Hasani’s death any less crippling. The very thing that I had been born to protect and uphold was now ripping my heart out.
CHAPTER FOUR
“My lady,” a feminine voice called, a scant moment before my bedchamber doors were pushed open. I turned to Ahmose in alarm, but he had already disappeared. Not a trace of him remained, but for the sweaty tang of his scent. I sighed. This type of thing only added to my general distrust of high priests.
My personal maid, Neeilah, bustled into my rooms, her young face anxious. Watching her rush across the room made me feel as though I had fallen into a rabbit hole of insanity, because I literally felt as though I’d never left this ancient place. Her face was as familiar to me as my own. She stopped in front of me and ducked her head quickly, in deference to my elevated status as Cleopatra’s personal handmaid.
“Mistress,” she chirped. “Her Majesty is summoning you already. You must hurry. They say she is in quite a mood today.”
In spite of myself, I had to smile. My Daedal was always in a ‘mood’. The question was simply whether it was a bad one or a good one. Oh, how I had missed her. Her life as Cleopatra was definitely colorful.
“Thank you, Neeilah,” I smiled as I turned quickly. I couldn’t wait to see her again.
Pulling my heavy doors open, I flew into the empty hallway, gazing down the long length. A large black marble statue of Anubis, with his large jackal head and his ivory spear, stood to the right of my rooms in his normal place. It had been awhile since I had seen him and I shuddered slightly. Why I had to have the god of the afterlife guarding my rooms, I would never understand. It was unsettling.
His glassy left eye stared sightlessly at me now, his head slightly cocked as though he was beckoning me...to the afterlife. I shivered again. I definitely had no wish to meet him anytime soon. I forced my attention away from his frightening face and hurried quietly down the elaborately decorated hall to the queen’s royal chambers. It should have seemed strange to be back in this ornate, ancient setting… but it did not. It seemed perfectly normal, as though I had never left. It was astounding.
Since they were well used to my comings and goings, the guards stationed outside of the queen’s doors barely spared me a glance, instead keeping their dark eyes focused directly in front of them. Their oiled skin gleamed as I walked past, their lithe muscles perpetually tensed, ever ready to spring to action.
As I pulled open the heavy golden doors and entered her opulent outer chambers, I could hear murmuring voices and quickly picked up my pace to find out who Cleopatra was speaking to. Not many were allowed entrance into her private chambers, besides myself and her other handmaiden, Iras. For safety’s sake now, during these turbulent times, only a select few house-servants and her husband, Marc Antony, were granted access. I passed through her receiving room and her sitting room before breathlessly arriving in the doorway of her cavernous bedchambers just in time to hear her speak again.
“Drink it, foolish girl!”
Cleopatra’s voice was hard-edged and impatient. I watched the spindly little serving girl cower, her large brown eyes liquid as she fought off tears. She couldn’t be more than twelve. Her family had probably sent her to the palace for the prestigious job of cleaning for the queen. And now she was testing the queen’s wine for poison.
My queen was not all sugared figs and rainbows.
“Do it!” Cleopatra hissed, her obsidian eyes glittering like dark jewels.
The girl’s hand shook as she raised the golden chalice to her small lips and sipped, just one tiny drink. She raised her eyes slightly over the jeweled rim, looking to the queen for approval before she lowered her hand.
“That will do for a start,” Cleopatra nodded. “But it wouldn’t be enough to affect a tiny fruit fly. Now take a real drink.”
A single tear slid down the girl’s brown cheek as she took a large gulp. She swallowed and stood uncertainly, her skinny legs shaking. I stepped forward and took the wine from her clammy grip.
“Thank you,” I murmured.
Her eyes were filled with terror and I had to look away.
“Please sit in that chair over there- and let us know if you begin to feel sickly.”
She nodded quietly and began to walk away. I grabbed her arm, then loosened my grip so that I didn’t scare her even more.
“Don’t be troubled… I’m sure you will be fine. Queen Cleopatra simply has the need to be careful right now… with all that is going on.”
She nodded again, but she did appear slightly relieved. I watched her tiny shoulders hunch over in the chair as she sat on her hands.
When I turned, I found Cleopatra watching me.
Her beautiful face was amused, her kohl-lined eyes crinkled as she smiled her famous grin. She had charmed kings, soldiers, dignitaries and Romans with that smile- and now she was using it on me. But I was immune. I had been with her since we were children.
“Dear Charmian, you have a heart as soft as the bedpillow of Isis. What shall I do with you?”
Her chestnut hair was unconcealed by her customary black wig today and it hung to her waist in a wavy cascade. On days that she didn’t plan to attend public functions, she liked to forgo the itchy inconvenience of her wigs. I didn’t blame her- they were as hot as the blazes and I personally avoided them at all costs.
I grinned at my friend.
“I guess you shall have to keep me, my queen. No one else wants me!” It was a backhanded joke- a reference to the fact that I had been orphaned at a young age. Her father had then hand-picked me to be her handmaid, all according to Fate’s plan.
She smiled back, her hateful mood broken.
“You’ve got that right,” she agreed. “You’re as cheeky as ten people put together.”
And just like that, she was fine. The storm clouds hovering above us dissipated, the sunshine of her smile returned. As she ventured outdoors onto her balcony, I knelt in front of the little girl.
“You may go now and resume your duties. Don’t be upset with our good queen. She has much on her plate- more worry than you can imagine.”
The girl nodded solemnly, appearing surprised that I would even suggest that she was upset with Cleopatra.
“Thank you,” she whispered and was out of the room like a shot. I couldn’t blame her.
“Charmian, come here!” Cleopatra called.
I crossed the room to her side and leaned over the stone balcony railing with her. The sea was pristine and tranquil, the blue water foaming gently against the shore. She tilted her head back, closing her eyes as the sun bathed her face in its warm glow. I closed my own, enjoying the warmth of the sun on my shoulders. I could practically taste the salt in the air, but it was far from unpleasant.
“Thank you for reigning me in, sweet
.”
The queen’s voice was low and I startled at her words, my eyes popping open. She wasn’t one to thank someone. She usually showed her gratitude with her actions, not her voice.
“I fear that I have been taking out my troubles on everyone around me. That is not good form and I’m sorry for it.”
I stared at her in shock and she turned to me laughing.
“Charmian, do close your mouth. You’re going to trap flies.” She elbowed me in the ribs before she turned once again to the horizon, her expression becoming serious once again.
“I just… my responsibilities are bearing down on me and I fear that I will lose everything.”
Her almond-shaped eyes welled up as she stared at a massive statue of her father, Ptolemy Auletes, standing at the base of the hundreds of stone stairs leading up to the palace. He was carved from white marble and majestically stared out to sea, his regal expression forever frozen on his face.
To the side of the palace, the treasures of our city stretched as far as I could see. Limestone buildings, marble statues, intricate brick streets and walkways. A colossal stone head of Caesarion, Cleopatra’s son, was carved into a hill in the distance. A stone’s throw away, two majestic granite sphinxes gracefully rose from the horizon, their leonine bodies gracefully lounging as their pharaoic heads stared blankly at the city.
It was a lot to lose. And she would definitely lose it. She just didn’t know it yet.
“Times are becoming so difficult, Charmian, and I must admit that I am afraid. But what makes it even worse is that I can’t speak about it to anyone else but you, because I must be strong. Even for Antony.”
At the sadness in her voice, I followed her gaze.
And my breath caught in my throat. On the edge of the Mediterranean, just where the water met the sand, Marc Antony, Cleopatra’s husband and commander of her armies, was sparring in the Roman style with his favorite general.
Every Last Kiss, Final Copy, June 30, 2011 Page 4
