The night before the Ghoul Games, there was a giant slumber party inside Petrified Pavilion. All the kids were put into four-member teams with students from all the different schools. Each team was given a list of items to find on a great scavenger hunt all over the school grounds.
A team composed of Cindy Chan, Pob-Lob the monster, a Scottish dragon named Errrragonne, and a vampire named Sunny collected the first item on the list when they managed to snatch Dr. Dragonbreath’s magical dragon glasses by singing him his favorite song, “Puff the Magic Dragon.” Dr. Dragonbreath was crying so hard, he blew the magical glasses right off his nose and into the hands of Cindy Chan. Then the team jumped onto Errrragonne’s back and flew away before Dr. Dragonbreath could catch them, which was all but impossible without his glasses.
In the end, however, the team that collected the most items was the team of Wendy Crumkin, Count Checkula Jr., Gurk, and a giant kid named Lenny. They were the only team able to bring back a particularly vicious Venus flytrap named Orf from Scary Garden.
While every other team got caught in the jaws of the Venus flytraps and had to be freed, Wendy was the only one who knew the secret of taming them, thanks to her hours of extracurricular reading. She told her team that all they needed to do was make the Venus flytrap laugh and it would be helpless. Luckily, Lenny was an aspiring comedian and he told Orf the Venus flytrap his very best joke. You can actually hear Lenny tell you the joke himself at ScarySchool.com, so I’m not going to spell it out for you here, because I wouldn’t do it justice. It’s all in the delivery.
When Orf started laughing, Gurk yanked him out of the ground and ran toward the pavilion. Count Checkula Jr. was tickling Orf’s roots to make sure he wouldn’t stop laughing and eat one of them.
When the scavenger hunt was over, all the students convened back inside Petrified Pavilion, and each member of the winning team was given a giant shining trophy in the shape of a hyena—the most fearsome scavenger in the animal kingdom.
As Wendy, Count Checkula Jr., Gurk, and Lenny held up their trophy, the hall was filled with a symphony of cheers, roars, grunts, groans, shrieks, howls, hoots, growls, and screeches the likes of which no one had ever heard.
Before everyone went to sleep, a student from each school got to come up to the stage and tell the scariest story he or she or it knew.
It was the most fun week anyone ever had.
As the children slept peacefully that night at the end of the great slumber party, Mr. Wolfbark lurked in the hall of Petrified Pavilion, supervising in coordination with the other teachers.
For a moment, he considered howling at the top of his lungs, just for the joy of giving the children an awful fright right when they were feeling most secure, but then he thought better of it.
Let the human children have a last good night’s sleep, Wolfbark thought to himself. For tomorrow, they shall all be dead.
Chapter Twenty-two
Let the Ghoul Games Begin
The following day, the Ghoul Games commenced with a spectacular opening ceremony marked by a parade through the streets that ended at Scary School Field. As each contestant was introduced, cheers erupted from the massive crowd of supporters.
Three enormous dragons flew overhead and etched 651st ANNUAL GHOUL GAMES in fire writing across the blue sky. Hundreds of doves were released and quickly eaten by the hungry dragons and monsters in attendance.
Principal Headcrusher was introduced to the crowd, and she stood proudly atop the platform as her many monster friends from her days at Scream Academy cheered for their former arm-wrestling champion and good friend. Principal Headcrusher was on the verge of tears not only because of the gravity of the event, but also because she knew that if her students didn’t win their chosen games, they could very well all be eaten alive and there would be no more Scary Shool by the end of the day.
Franz Dietrich Wolfbark pronounced the games open, and the first matches began.
Everyone ran to the frozen lake to watch Scary School play the abominable snowkids of Scream Academy in ice hockey. With Jason back at goalie, Scream Academy only managed to score one lucky goal. And with thirty seconds left, Fred scored a game-tying goal to even the score at 1–1. They played a scoreless overtime period, and the game ended in a 1–1 tie.
Since nobody lost, everyone got lollipops.
Mr. Wolfbark was seething and hissed at Principal Headcrusher, “Your kids got lucky thisss time, but you’ll see! I’ve made sure they will all be eaten in the end.”
Next, everyone ran to the basketball court for the big match between Johnny, Ramon, and Peter versus the three giants of Scream Academy.
As the game began, everyone quickly learned that height isn’t everything in basketball. Johnny, Ramon, and Peter were much faster than the lumbering giants. Whenever the giants dribbled, the Scary School team stole the ball and got points off fast breaks. Soon the giants were so tired from trying to run them down, they could barely move. Ramon hit his three-pointers, Peter jumped over the giants for some monster dunks, and Johnny made all the great passes and racked up the assists.
The giants got their share of baskets, but in the end Johnny, Ramon, and Peter were victorious 77–71. Scary School erupted in cheers, and Mr. Wolfbark walked out to center court.
“Congratulations, Scary School,” Mr. Wolfbark proclaimed. “Not a surprising result since the winners are Scary kids, are you not? You may claim your prize and eat these giants.”
Johnny, Ramon, and Peter looked at one another, then said, “Um . . . that would be a big meal even for us. Can we just take the lollipops, please?”
“Certainly,” said Mr. Wolfbark, grinding his teeth. “That is your option, although the rest of you should not expect the same kindness from your opponents.”
When they saw the giants sitting on the sideline very upset with themselves, Johnny, Ramon, and Peter walked over and broke their lollipops in half for all of them to share. It was the first time Johnny, Ramon, and Peter had eaten anything besides bugs for the last three months, and the lollipops tasted like heaven.
“I can’t believe we ate all those bugs for nothing!” said Ramon.
“I didn’t mind,” said Peter. “I wish they made beetleflavored lollipops.”
Across the yard, Rachael and Raychel were playing their mind games against the Rachels from the other Scary schools.
Rachell, a twelve-year-old green-skinned witch from Witchbrook, finished the match with a dazzling mind-game display that went like this:
“Did you get a new haircut?” asked Rachell the witch.
“Yes,” said Rachael. “Do you like it?”
“Sure,” said Rachell. “I mean, as long as you like it.”
“What does that mean?” asked Scary School Rachael.
The Scary School kids in the audience leaned forward on the edge of their seats, barely breathing as they took in each word.
“It’s just, I would never wear my hair that way, but I’m sure it will work for you.”
“So you hate it?”
“No . . . no . . . my opinion doesn’t matter. If you like wearing your hair that way, then you should.”
Rachael started crying, and the two Scary School Rachels were defeated.
Mr. Wolfbark smiled wide and proclaimed, “Excellent match, but Witchbrook is the winner. You may now eat your opponents.”
Rachell looked at all the other Rachels and said, “Actually, there aren’t enough nice Rachels in the world, and I would hate to deprive the world of any one of these very fine Rachels. I’ll just take the lollipop.”
Mr. Wolfbark seethed with anger. “Are you sure?” he asked, through gritted teeth.
“Yes,” Rachell replied.
“So be it,” said Mr. Wolfbark, handing her a giant lollipop.
And so began what many have called the Ghoul Games Miracle, when every single monster declined a delicious meal of human flesh after its victory because the monsters had forged such good friendships with the Scary School kids
over the course of that week.
All the schools gathered inside Petrified Pavilion for the momentous Guitar Legend face-off between Charles Nukid and a young vampire named Ricky Rathbone. A sixty-foot screen was lowered, and Charles Nukid entered the stage with his Guitar Legend guitar hanging at his side. His hair was dyed hot pink and spiked into a mohawk, which Penny Possum had fashioned for him backstage. She had even smeared dark makeup around his eyes. He was dressed in the same school uniform he wore the first day of school—the gray shorts, white dress shirt, and polka-dot tie. All the girls screamed when they saw him in his uniform.
“What a rebel!” Maria shouted. “He’s so brave not to wear the school uniform!”
As I’m sure you remember, not wearing the school uniform is the school uniform.
Charles patted the top of his mohawk to make sure every hair was perfectly in place, then signaled for the first song to start. It was a brand-new song by the Rotten Toads called “Smells Like Fly Guts.” Charles had never heard the song before, but he was so skilled from his hours of practice, he got a near-perfect score on his first try. The whole pavilion was rocking, shaking, and bumping. Charles finished the song with an astounding knee slide across the stage. He leaped up and turned to the audience in triumph, his arm reaching for the heavens, his guitar vibrating with energy, his hot pink mohawk shining like a flag of eternal victory.
Seven girls fainted.
In the end, Charles narrowly lost to Ricky the vampire kid by just a few points, but instead of sucking his blood, Ricky decided to team up with Charles on co-op mode, and together they beat the all-time high score. The whole school went hysterical, and Charles was once again the school hero.
The monsters Pob-Lob, Dorba, and Gurk beat Lindsey, Stephanie, and Maria at hopscotch three games to two. Of course, Gurk wouldn’t eat Lindsey because they were now best friends. Pob-Lob and Dorba were about to eat Stephanie and Maria, but Stephanie and Maria thought quick on their feet and used their skills in Monster Math. Stephanie and Maria both shouted out the smallest number they could think of.
“Negative fifty!” Stephanie and Maria exclaimed. Pob-Lob and Dorba became so frightened by such a small number, they scurried away with their spiked tails between their hairy legs and took the lollipops.
Mr. Wolfbark was so angry he was foaming at the mouth.
Petunia and Frank beat Mindy and Mandy the minotaurs in an exciting jump-rope contest, in which the minotaurs “jumped” out to a huge lead, but faltered when the rope got caught on Mindy’s horns. By the time Mindy could untangle it, Frank (which is pronounced “Rachel”) had reached ten thousand jumps first with the help of Petunia’s precise counting. The minotaurs were aMAZEd. Ha-ha-ha. Sorry; I don’t know if they were actually amazed, I just had to write that. I’m glad my sense of humor didn’t die with me.
Next, Cindy Chan won an epic blame game when she managed to convince Marty the dragon that the Dark Ages were entirely his fault, even though they happened 1,500 years before he was born. Dr. Dragonbreath’s history lessons had paid off tenfold!
Penny Possum lost a playing-dead contest to Zachary the zombie from the School for the Mostly-Dead when she took a tiny breath after lying motionless without breathing for more than fifteen minutes. Zachary won, having managed to actually die right there on the ground. Everyone was very impressed. Zachary would have eaten Penny Possum, but fortunately when he died his appetite died with him, so they left him a lollipop that he would never get to taste.
A very scary moment occurred when a team of terrible trolls from Cave Point took on the Scary School sixth graders in a wrestling match. The trolls won easily and were about to devour the whole sixth-grade wrestling team, when suddenly a loud buuuuurp was heard from the stands.
Everyone turned their heads and saw Dr. Dragonbreath heaving and belching and blowing bursts of fire from his seat in the crowd.
“Uh-oh. It’s time!” Dr. Dragonbreath bellowed through another loud burp.
Dr. Dragonbreath stumbled out of his seat, crawled onto the mat, and all of a sudden, twenty-eight young dragons rolled out of his mouth in green balls of ooze and slime. He was regurgitating all of the kids he had eaten the first day of school—right in the middle of the wrestling mat! The young dragons stretched their wings and let out tiny roars and puffs of fire.
The trolls started kicking the young dragons out of the way to claim their delicious sixth-grader prizes, but the young dragons flew behind them and blew streams of fire right onto their troll bottoms. Shorts aflame, the giant trolls were running around screaming “Waaaahhhh!” like babies.
“That’s my boy!” shouted Randall’s dad from the stands.
“Hey, Dad!” roared Randall. “Look at my awesome wings!”
“I know! You look soooo cool!”
The trolls ran out of the gym and jumped into Scary Fountain to extinguish the flames, crying, “Just give us the lollipoppies! We no like hot fire on bum-bums.”
Mr. Wolfbark gnashed his teeth and howled in frustration.
At last, the final event of the Ghoul Games took place: the checkers match between Ms. Fang’s checkers club and Count Checkula’s team from Bloodington Elementary. Scary School and Bloodington were tied for the lead in Ghoul Games points. The winner of the checkers event would win the Golden Elephant and the trip to Albania to meet the Monster King.
“This is where your luck runs out,” said Mr. Wolfbark to Principal Headcrusher. “You’ve been fortunate your whole life just to have survived, but now you’ll see what happens when humans match wits with a superior species.”
The matches began, and the vampire kids from Bloodington took a commanding lead. Their hands moved so fast across the checkers board that Ms. Fang’s team couldn’t even follow their moves.
Scary School staged a late comeback in doubles play, and the two teams were even going into the final game, which would decide the winner. The match featured Scary School’s best player, Wendy Crumkin, and Bloodington’s best player, Count Checkula Jr., the ten-year-old son of Count Checkula.
It was a very tight match. As the checkers dwindled down, Wendy was barely ahead three kings to two. The tension mounted as Wendy took the lead two kings to one with time running down, but then Count Checkula Jr. set a perfect trap and double-jumped Wendy for the win. Bloodington took the match.
The vampires leaped for joy and sang the school song:
Blood! Books! Blood!
Learning is so fun!
We love, love, love
Old Bloodington!
“Now,” said Mr. Wolfbark, happily patting the young Count Checkula Jr. on the back, “I trust you shall drain these pathetic humans of their blood or I shall be gravely disappointed.”
“Actually,” said Count Checkula Jr., “I had a really great time with Wendy this week. We wouldn’t have won the scavenger trophy without her, and she taught me how to play chess, which is a much better game than checkers, by the way.”
All the vampires in the room gasped.
“So, I think I’d like to keep the Scary School team alive so that we can learn even more from each other. I’ll take the lollipop. Blood-flavored, please.”
Mr. Wolfbark was now quaking with fury. “The lollipop? The lollipop?” He couldn’t contain himself any longer and transformed into a fearsome giant werewolf.
“You leave me no choice,” growled Wolfbark the werewolf. “If you won’t claim your prize, then I will!”
Mr. Wolfbark lunged over the table with his sharp teeth glistening and his wide mouth agape to devour poor Wendy Crumkin. Wendy screamed, but just before Wolfbark could bite down, a giant hand grabbed him by the head.
“Excuse me,” said Principal Headcrusher, “but I must protect my students.”
She squeezed her mighty hand and crushed Wolfbark’s head like a grape.
Everyone cheered.
Principal Headcrusher opened her hand, and everyone gagged at the gooey mess inside.
“Eww!” they all retched.
Then, Count Checkula Jr. stood up and made an announcement.
“Attention, everyone,” the young vampire proclaimed. “I cannot accept this giant lollipop. The truth is, Mr. Spider-Eyes was spying on the Scary School checkers club and telling us their strategies. Mr. Wolfbark was forcing us to cheat, but now that he’s dead, the truth can be known. Scary School deserves the Golden Elephant and the trip to Albania, as they would have certainly beaten us.”
“It’s true!” shouted Penny Possum. “Charles Nukid and I saw Mr. Spider-Eyes meeting in secret with Mr. Wolfbark!”
Everyone turned their attention to Mr. Spider-Eyes, who was slinking in the corner.
“How dare you betray your own school!” exclaimed Principal Headcrusher.
Principal Headcrusher tried to grab Mr. Spider-Eyes, but he made a break for the door. He flung it open, only to see his wife, Mrs. T, blocking his way out.
“Honey,” said Mr. Spider-Eyes, “thank heavens you’re here. We have to—”
Mrs. T didn’t want to hear it, and she chomped down and swallowed Mr. Spider-Eyes in one gulp.
“Oh my! How could you eat your own husband?” the crowd asked, befuddled.
“I pity the fool who betrays his school,” Mrs. T replied, licking her chops.
And so, Scary School was awarded the Golden Elephant, which was unveiled the last day of school and stands on top of a thirty-foot pedestal.
When Ms. Fang licked her prize lollipop, her missing fang magically grew back, so now her name is Ms. Fangs again. To my knowledge, that’s the first time eating candy actually improved someone’s teeth.
During the closing ceremonies that night, the students from each school were crying together as they said good-bye to their new friends. They promised to stay in touch and email as much as possible.
Scary School Page 11
