by Parker Foye
“Maybe they like the way you looked.”
Teddy didn’t see the point of debating. For all he knew, Jim was right. Teddy had seen plenty of people get hired for roles for reasons that had nothing to do with talent.
He grabbed the remote control from the coffee table and turned off the television. “A friend called and gave me a heads-up about a different show, though. I might have a good chance at it. Actually saw it a few times, too. Wouldn’t hurt having that in my résumé. I need to figure out the logistics of getting into the city for the audition, though.”
Beyond a blink, Jim’s only response was “Hmm.”
“Am I boring you?”
“No. Sorry if I seem disinterested. I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
“Want to tell me about it?”
“No. Not really.” Jim took Teddy by the hand and pulled him to his feet.
He pulled him along toward the stairs, and Teddy laughed. “Bedtime already? I could have sworn you were a night owl.”
“I am.”
“So, why are we going upstairs unless you’re going to ask me to give you a tour of everything in your house that needs to be cleaned or repaired? When’s the last time you changed your air filters, by the way? I woke up kind of sniffly this morning.”
“I’ll change them tomorrow. I’ve got replacements around here somewhere.”
“They’re in the basement. I saw them, but couldn’t find a screwdriver to get the grille open. I’m not the kind of guy who’d use a butter knife in a pinch.”
“Tools are in the garage.”
“Oh.”
“I’ll show you were everything is. Tell you how to deactivate the alarm and open the safe and all that junk.”
“Uh. That’s—” Teddy had to shut his mouth momentarily as Jim yanked his sweatshirt over his head and his shirt along with it. He cleared his throat. “That’s a lot. You have something to tell me? Are you going to die in the next three months or so and want to get your affairs in order?”
“No.” Jim unfastened the fly of Teddy’s jeans and gave his right foot a thump with his toes. “Can you take off your shoes?”
Teddy obeyed and nudged the decrepit things away.
“You should know where things are,” Jim said. “I’ll have to make a list or something.”
“It’s not that urgent, and I really don’t need to get into your safe.”
“If you’re going to hang out here, you do need to know how to get into the safe. I’ve got guns in there, by the way. Didn’t want you to be surprised.”
“I definitely don’t want to go in there, then.”
Jim picked him up by the backs of his thighs as if he weighed nothing and dropped him onto his bed.
Teddy blinked up at him, and then watched him strip. Jerky, efficient movements. Not sexy, not seductive. Just functional, and that didn’t seem to be Jim’s M.O. Even when his touches were chaste, he made them feel good.
“What’s up with you?” Teddy asked.
Jim grabbed the bottom of Teddy’s jeans and tugged. “I’m not always going to be around to protect you.”
“I never asked you to protect me.”
“But I have to anyway, don’t you understand?”
“No. I don’t understand why you’re so agitated right now.” Pushing up onto his forearms, Teddy furrowed his brow, not that Jim could see him. Jim was rummaging through the right-side nightstand. “Looking for something? Might help if you turned on a light. Dark in here.”
“I don’t need a light.”
“Why not? Know everything in the drawer by feel?”
“I can see fine.”
Before Teddy could follow up on that unusual statement, Jim tossed what Teddy thought was a bottle of lube onto the bed, along with what seemed to be a strip of condoms. “No, wait.” His feet found the floor, and he pushed to standing. “I can’t figure out the mood you’re in, and you’re not telling me anything.”
“I’m not going to hurt you, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m not. I just need...”
“What? What do you need?”
“I can’t explain this. Not yet. But if you want to go...” He swallowed hard and held Teddy’s pants out to him as if in a peace offering—as if to tell him, It’s okay if you want to go. “I’m not going to stop you, Ted.”
Teddy looked down at Jim’s white-knuckled grip on his waistband and, carefully, unlocked Jim’s fingers from the fabric.
Jim let go of the pants with a soft expulsion of breath, but he didn’t understand. Teddy wasn’t refusing him. He’d simply wanted to know the plan.
Teddy draped the jeans over the footboard and sat on the edge of the bed. “You want to touch me? Go ahead.”
“I need a little more than touching. I need to have you. Has to be done.”
“That’s interesting. I like sex a lot, but I’ve never had a man insinuate that it was mandatory.”
“Do me a favor and don’t talk about your other men.”
“I was speaking in generalities.”
“Don’t,” Jim snapped, and then he pulled in a long, ragged inhalation and put up his hands. “Please don’t. I don’t like that. I don’t want to think about you having been someone else’s.”
“As if you haven’t been?”
“That’s not the same thing.”
“Bullshit. You may have a few years on me but, believe it or not, I do understand that people have pasts and with those pasts come baggage and ex-lovers.”
“Tell me they’re all exes. Tell me they’re not people you have in your ‘maybe later’ list.”
Teddy gave his head a slow shake. “I don’t think you have the right to demand that from me.”
“Don’t I?” Jim crawled onto the bed, pulled Teddy toward the middle and straddled his hips. His breathing was still ragged as his big body loomed over Teddy’s. “You don’t think you’re mine and I don’t get to ask you to limit who gets to touch you?”
Teddy’s skin burned where Jim’s gaze fell—his lips, his chin, his neck. His pulse in his ears muted all other sounds. “You...you claim you want us to be an item.”
“I do.”
Teddy dragged his tongue across his dry lips and closed his eyes. Even in the near darkness, he could make out all of the features of Jim that made him so stunningly attractive. So male. The stark planes of his chiseled cheeks. His slightly crooked nose. His strong jaw and wide mouth. He was hard to look at from afar. Up close was an unwinnable battle.
“I...” Teddy swallowed and bade the words to come. He had to close his eyes. “I like the idea of being your boyfriend. I like the idea of being someone’s after so long alone, and you make a pretty compelling case for yourself.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“You don’t think this is moving too fast?”
“No.” Jim lowered his body a bit and skimmed the tip of his nose along Teddy’s jaw.
Teddy tipped his head back reflexively, willing him to caress the sensitive planes of his neck, and he did. Teddy gasped.
“In my opinion, we’re moving far too slowly,” Jim said.
Teddy wrapped his legs around Jim’s and slipped his hands inside the back of his pants. He wanted to feel his warmth and run his fingertips along his muscles. Grabbing his ass stirred thoughts of Jim thrusting into him and Teddy digging his nails in to spur him along.
Damn.
He shifted discreetly, aligning his thrumming cock more squarely with Jim’s, and sighed at his neediness. “How could this possibly move any faster?”
“You’d be getting your mail here.”
Teddy couldn’t help but to laugh, but that only made Jim growl.
“Don’t laugh at me.”
“Sorry. I don’t know what to s
ay. You’re very intense, you know that?”
“That’s a turnoff?”
“I didn’t say that.” He liked Jim’s intensity. Male parts of Teddy’s body should have been giving Jim a strong hint as to how much. There was no way Jim couldn’t notice, seeing as how Teddy’s cock jutted stubbornly against Jim’s core. “I’m trying to understand what you want from me and decide if I can give it to you.”
“You can, or I wouldn’t want you.”
“What does that mean?”
“Do you want me, Teddy? And not just for a night or two. Tell me you want to keep me. You know everything about me that’s important.”
“I don’t believe that.” Every little detail was important to Teddy. If he were going to entrust his body to someone again, he wanted depth and significance, not hollow words. “I can’t even get you to answer direct questions.”
“Ask what you want, and I’ll answer them honestly as soon as I can.”
As soon as I can.
They weren’t quite the words Teddy had wanted to hear, but they were all he needed, because they were honest. There was so much passion and earnestness in Jim’s plea that he couldn’t have been lying. Teddy was an actor. He knew a lie when he heard one. Although Jim had said a lot of things Teddy hadn’t liked in the last few months, Teddy didn’t think Jim had lied to him a single time. That made him unique compared to Teddy’s past repertoire of lovers.
Teddy nodded once and fidgeted with the hem of Jim’s shirt.
He wasn’t in such a bad place, really, being with Jim. Jim wasn’t offering him anything he didn’t want, even if the offer did seem to have come about too quickly.
“You want me?” Jim asked again. “Say so if you do. I need more than a nod.”
“Yes.”
“You’re gonna stick with me?”
“You’re asking for a lot of faith.”
“I’m asking you to give me a chance.”
“You sound like you expect something bad to happen. Do you? Is that what this is about?”
Jim planted his lips against the crook of Teddy’s neck and kissed up the column.
“That’s not an answer.”
“I told you I’d answer you honestly when I could.” He slipped a finger between Teddy’s lips, toying with his tongue, laving the calloused tip against the stilled organ, and Teddy sucked it into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around Jim’s stiff finger, and then another. He leaned into Jim’s hand and held his gaze as he relaxed his throat and took him deeper.
“Fuck. That mouth of yours, Ted...” Jim withdrew his fingers and leaned back. He tugged his shirt off, too, revealing the pecs and abs and the dark dusting of hair Teddy hadn’t had a chance to examine up close.
Teddy pressed his hands to Jim’s hard chest and all his air left his lungs as he rubbed, patted, ogled.
So strong.
He swallowed and rolled his gaze up to Jim’s heated one. “Where do you put all the pancakes?”
Jim bent and caught Teddy’s lower lip between his teeth. “Fast metabolism.”
“You and all your friends, huh? I’ve never seen a more fit bunch.”
Jim stopped nipping and sat back again.
Teddy traced down the center of his abs, past his sculpted navel to the trail of hair that disappeared into his waistband.
“You shouldn’t pay too much attention to them.”
“I didn’t say I did.”
“Don’t.”
“Okay.” Teddy rolled his eyes. “Don’t get too bossy.”
“I am what I am, Teddy. You said you’d try to accept me.”
“I didn’t say I wasn’t. Why are you so sensitive all of a sudden?”
“I’m not.” Jim scooted off the bed and lost the pants. There was nothing beneath them and, again, Teddy’s breath expelled in a long, forceful whoosh.
His body...
“Jesus,” Teddy muttered. “How many pounds do I need to bench-press to have your body?”
“You don’t need to lift weights. I like the way you are now. I like that I can hold you easy and that you fit against me.”
Seemed a pretty compelling reason to be out of shape, in Teddy’s opinion.
“Take those off.” Waiting at the side of the bed and tossing the bottle of lube from one hand to another, Jim indicated Teddy’s underwear with a nod.
Teddy shucked his boxer shorts off gracelessly and nudged them over the edge of the bed.
“I would have pegged you as a briefs type,” Jim said.
“I’ll try to be more predictable if that’ll suit you.”
“How do you keep your boxer shorts from bunching up under your uniform pants? They’re fitted.”
“The same way you keep yours from crinkling beneath your leathers.”
Jim grimaced. “Touché.” Sliding a hand beneath Teddy’s ribs, Jim bent down and traced around the outline of Teddy’s mouth with his tongue. He rolled Teddy over and climbed onto the bed. “I want to come home and find you in my bed every night.”
“And where are you going to be coming home from?”
Jim didn’t answer.
Damn it.
Grinding his teeth, Teddy raked his fingers over his scalp. Every time Jim went silent, Teddy worried he’d made some grave error. Jim had said he’d answer in due time, but Teddy was starting to wonder if he was doing the relationship equivalent of buying a used car without driving it around the block first.
Jim drew his fingers down Teddy’s tingling spine and danced them over the dip at the small of his back. “Want to touch you. Don’t want to stop touching you.”
Teddy swallowed, wondering why, again, Jim sounded so damn wistful. “So don’t. I didn’t ask you to.”
Jim pressed his hands to Teddy’s ass and kneaded the cheeks. “Never wanted anyone so much as I want you.”
“I find that hard to believe. You could have had me whenever you wanted me. All you had to do was be nice.”
“Am I nice enough for you now, Ted, or do I turn you off?”
Teddy’s toes curled beneath him and his air came out in a strained laugh. “If you could see my cock right now, you wouldn’t have to ask.”
“So, you want this?”
“I think I’ve been clear on that. How much clearer can I be?”
Some noise that seemed far more beast than human vibrated from Jim’s chest, and Teddy didn’t have time to ask questions before his good sense gave way.
There was cool liquid slipping down the crease of his ass, and Jim’s fingers chased it. He slicked his fingertips up and down, playing briefly against the opening again and again without breaching.
Teasing. Merciless teasing, but Teddy didn’t complain. He wanted to see what his snarling, needy man who’d been giving him hell for months would do to him. He wanted to see how Jim would behave if there were no tethers—no reins holding him back.
Finally, he pushed fingers into Teddy’s clenching hole and shoved in deep, sucking in a harsh breath as he worked them apart.
Teddy squeezed his eyes shut tight and gripped the covers.
Somehow, Jim was going to fit himself into Teddy, and Teddy would take it as he had so many times before with others, but for once, he wasn’t going to tease, even if it hurt. He craved him, and every ache that came along with him.
Another finger. More stretch. More lube.
Teddy clenched tighter—his fingers and his ass. One he couldn’t help. The other was intentional preparation. “Do it.” He’d meant for his words to sound strong and confident, but they’d hardly been a whisper. A pathetic plea.
Jim didn’t make him repeat it, though. He draped his big, heavy body over Teddy’s and, panting, pressed the thick head of him against Teddy’s entrance. “Tell me again,” he demande
d.
“What?”
“Tell me you’re gonna let me try.”
Teddy didn’t think Jim was talking about the sex, but the other thing they were doing. The relationship thing he hadn’t expected and hadn’t known he wanted so much. It didn’t have to be the same as before. He’d found a voice in five years, and he wasn’t going to let anyone bowl him over. That included Jim. Teddy could walk away at any time.
“Yes.” Teddy nodded the best he could and flexed his cramping fingers.
Jim pushed into him. Thick, searing flesh. White-hot pain for a moment that ebbed just before he pushed in farther.
It hurt, and then it didn’t, and then there was all of him inside, and Jim’s mouth was against his ear.
“Teddy...” he whispered.
Teddy swallowed and tried to pull in some air to respond, but he couldn’t. There was too much of Jim on him—in him—and he wasn’t sure how to make his lungs constrict through all the other sensations.
Jim’s thrusts were shallow, in and out. As shallow as Teddy’s breathing.
Jim twined his fingers through Teddy’s, making him let go of the covers—making him grip something warm and living. Making him feel that his control was only a facade, because the man’s grip was punishing.
It hurt, but Teddy liked the pain. He liked what Jim was doing to him and the sounds Jim made as his thrusts lengthened and his breaths devolved into pained groans.
Jim’s teeth felt impossibly sharp against his jaw and his neck as he dragged his mouth down them.
“I like being bitten,” Teddy whispered, tilting his head to the side so Jim could reach what he wanted—bite what he wanted. Teddy didn’t care about bruises. He knew how to use makeup if he had to. He’d disguised evidence of his encounters time and time again before showing up for auditions.
His words seemed to have brought Jim up short. He’d peeled himself away a bit, his breath tickling the side of Teddy’s face from inches away instead of a few scant millimeters.
But then his tongue laved where his teeth had been and down to Teddy’s shoulder. He licked, tasted, while swiveling his hips and digging against that organ inside Teddy that made the ache feel so much better.
