Then last week, out of the blue, he broke up with me. He told me he was still in love with you and had never really moved on emotionally. After thinking about it for a week, I decided to tell you. He doesn’t love me. He loves you. I would never want to stand in the way of what you two had. You were good together, and I’m sorry for ever coming between you. I hope in time you can forgive me.
There is one more thing I wanted to apologize for. Remember that night on the dock at Jason’s house? It was wrong of me to go after him like that. I knew your friend Maysie was interested in him, and I did it anyway. You had every right to be mad at me. That night Jason and I really hit it off. He told me all about your new friends there and when Colten told me you were seriously dating Travis I decided I should tell you the truth about what I know about him. As your true friend, I couldn’t possibly keep it from you.
Jason said that while Maysie is everything she appears to be, Travis is not. Travis wears that purity ring and all, but to hear Jason tell it, he has a past. He was a real partier there for a while and got way too cozy with his girlfriend Misty. As a result his parents had to straighten him out and hence the purity ring.
I’m sorry to be the one to tell you all of these things. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. But I felt that as your friend I needed to come clean about everything. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
Brittany
Rachael sat there numb for a long time. She wasn’t sure what to think or how to respond.
I wish I believed that everything she told me came out of a genuine need for forgiveness. Why would she wait to tell me all of it now? Why not months ago, when Colten and I first broke up? Why not months ago, when I first started dating Travis? I realize Travis isn’t as lily white as I first thought. Even his own father alluded to the fact that Travis had partied a little too much.
Rachael remembered back to their first day working cows when his father mentioned horseback riding as a cure for underage drinking. Rachael wasn’t an idiot. She knew exactly what he had meant.
Pushing her chair out, she strode to the barn. She picked up her rake and pitchfork and set to work like a mad woman cleaning stalls. She turned the radio up as loud as it would go to drown out her own thoughts.
The thing that bothered her most about Brittany’s email was the part about Travis getting “too cozy” with Misty. What did she mean by that?
Rachael had assumed that when a couple dated as long as Misty and Travis did—two years was a really long time—things usually progressed a little. There would be holding hands, pecks, French kissing, and then eventually making out limited to kissing. Right? Was Rachael wrong here? Or did “too cozy” entail something totally different?
Rachael decided instantly she would not give Brittany the satisfaction of defining “too cozy.” She didn’t trust that, after a year of blowing off their friendship, Brittany suddenly felt so much guilt over what she had done that she was reaching out to Rachael with timely info on her current boyfriend. Something didn’t add up.
Rachael continued cleaning for another hour. By then she was totally fired up. While she kept telling herself that cozy was a very broad term that could mean practically anything—anything at all—she was still freaking out inside. To think Travis may have shared something as intimate as…well, Rachael wasn’t sure what…with someone else had put her on edge.
I’ll just ask him, she vowed. I’ll come straight out and ask him. He’ll tell me the truth. No secrets, right?
Then another thought struck. If that’s true, then he’s certainly kept one very big secret from me. A very big, fat, sleazy secret!
Rachael hated this. She hated Brittany. To even put Travis and a word such as sleazy together in one sentence didn’t make sense. He had never lied to her. She was sure it had to be a huge misunderstanding.
Brittany must be lying! That’s all there is to it.
Suddenly the music quieted, and Rachael whirled to see Travis standing in the doorway to the barn. She stared blankly at him.
“Hey, Rach, what’s with the crazy, loud music and all?”
He looked her up and down. She was wearing a tank top and shorts—some of her best. She hadn’t even taken time to change into workclothes. On her feet were nice, white sandals—at least they had started out white. Now they were a dingy gray-black. Her legs were covered in dirt and pieces of hay stuck to her tank top in every place imaginable.
I must look terrible.
“Just getting a little spring cleaning done here,” she spat through clenched teeth.
“Really? Is that what you are doing?” He strode toward her and moved to hug her. She stepped back two feet, fleeing his approach. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I was only out here doing some thinking.”
“About what?” He frowned. “Is it about us?”
“You could say that.” She walked into the tack room and put away her rake and pitchfork. She didn’t want to be armed in case there was any truth in what Brittany had told her in that email.
I should never have opened it.
Travis had followed her into the tack room. The space was way too small. Rachael squeezed past him and out into the open central area of the barn. She sat on a bale of hay and worked at calming her nerves.
“Darn it, Rachael.” He stood before her, hands on his hips. “What is going on here? Talk to me.”
Rachael nodded to the bale of hay, instructing Travis to take a seat next to her. “I got an email today from Brittany. It was an apology of sorts. She wanted to apologize about hooking up with Colten the night of my Debutante Ball and then dating him for the next ten months. I guess he broke up with her, and she wanted to set things straight between us. Then she added an additional apology for kissing Jason last year. It turns out they had quite the conversation—involving you.”
“Me? Jason and Brittany talked about me?”
“Yeah. Really strange. I thought so too.”
“Okay. So what did they talk about?”
“Just you and Maysie and all of my other new friends over here.” Rachael was avoiding telling Travis the truth. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer. If it were true, the truth would hurt.
“Rachael,” he pressed, “what specifically about me? I’ve always told you that you could ask me anything. And by that I mean anything.” He picked up her hand and held it. “I will always tell you the truth.”
“Yes. But you also said I should be careful what I ask you. Maybe the truth is not something I want to know.”
“And if you don’t know, would that change anything?”
“I guess not.”
“The way I see it, the truth will come out eventually. I don’t want this to linger between us. Whatever it is, I’d prefer that you ask me.”
Rachael sat there quietly for several minutes. She didn’t want to have to beg him to tell her. He obviously knows what she was told. Why doesn’t he just come clean about it? Rachael knew one thing for certain. If she didn’t ask him now, it would eat her alive inside.
“How far did you go with Misty?”
There. I said it. Her hands were shaking.
“Pretty far.” His answer was short.
“How far is pretty far, Travis?”
“Rachael, don’t ask me to tell you something that you don’t want to know. I didn’t have sex with her. Okay?”
“No. That’s not okay!” Rachael shot up from the bale of hay and paced around the barn. “For months you could have told me the truth about you and Misty, but you chose not to. Why?”
“Because I honestly thought you wouldn’t want to know. If you had done anything more than kiss with Colten, I wouldn’t want to know. I’d never want to know about it.”
“Well, I haven’t! I didn’t! I never would have! This ring…” She held up her finger. “This ring. Us! We are a sham! One big sham!”
“Don’t say that, Rachael, please don’t say that,” he pleaded. “I did something I
’m not proud of and I’ve been working like crazy to move forward from it, to not repeat the same mistakes twice. It was a mistake, Rachael. A huge mistake! I can’t take it back. I can’t change it. I would if I could, but I can’t!” Travis held his head in his hands.
“I thought we were in this together. I got the ring. I’ve even changed how I dress. All for what? To keep from tempting you into something you’ve already done? You’ve messed us up!”
“Rachael,” he said softly, “we’re in this together. We truly are. I want to do all of those things with you and only you. Please try to understand that. I wish I could undo it all.”
“You can’t, Travis. You can’t undo it! And now I don’t think I can think of it the same way. I can’t see us the same way!” Rachael took off her purity ring and set it on the bale of hay next to Travis. She stalked from the barn.
*
Three hours later Rachael lay awake in her bedroom. Her phone had been vibrating nonstop with texts from Travis, Maysie, and now even Shannah.
Why hadn’t any of them told her? Shannah and Maysie must have known all about it. Didn’t they think she deserved to know the truth?
Rachael had bought a bill of goods, only to learn that she didn’t get what she had paid for. She had spent days, weeks, and months feeling guilty for being attracted to Travis. She had even gotten her own ring…tried to be supportive. Why? In the end to find out that she was the “pure” one? That she didn’t need the ring in the first place?
A million things raced through her mind at once.
She still loved Travis. That hadn’t changed. That’s what made this all so hard. She loved him. She wanted to be his first everything. His first, his last, his only.
This undid that. Misty had beaten her to it. Rachael sobbed so hard her head and eyes hurt. She cried until she had no more tears left. Her phone finally stopped buzzing. Maybe they had all gotten the message: Leave me alone!
*
The next day was Friday, and Rachael told her mother she couldn’t possibly go to school. She filled her in on all the gory details of her break-up with Travis. Her mother thought she had been a little harsh with him, but any other thoughts or opinions she had on the subject she didn’t share. Rachael hid out all day Friday in her bedroom. She never changed out of her boxers and tank top.
Saturday and Sunday were a repeat of the same.
18
SUNDAY AFTERNOON RACHAEL CALLED AND ASKED JJ FOR A RIDE TO SCHOOL. She wasn’t ready to face Travis yet, and they were broken up so she needed to find another form of transportation.
Priority Numero Uno: Buy that car.
*
On the way to school Monday morning she and JJ made their way into town. If he had heard about her and Travis, he was certainly not saying so.
“JJ, I need your help with something.”
“Wut’s that, Miss Rachael? Ya know I wud do anything I cud to help ya.”
“That’s why I thought you were the perfect man to ask for help. I need to buy a car. Nothing flashy or fancy. Just something that runs.”
“How much did ya figure on spendin’?”
“Eight hundred dollars. That’s what I have saved. Then of course I will need to find a job to cover insurance.”
“Eight hundred dollars. Hmm.” JJ used this opportunity to spit and move his dip around in his mouth a bit. There had been a time when that would have nauseated Rachael, but not anymore.
Look how far I’ve come.
“I got this buddy o’ mine that fixes up used cars. Some people’d like to call ’em junk cars, but not me, Miss Rachael. It won’t be as fancy as the Honcho here, but it’ll get you around.”
“Sounds great! Really, anything that runs will do.”
“I’ll give him a call.”
Rachael jumped out at school and sprinted inside. She heard the Honcho backfire as it pulled out of the lot. Rachael smiled to herself. She scanned the parking lot. There was no sign of Travis’s truck. Then she heard the distinctive rumble of its diesel engine pulling into the parking lot. Rachael began to speed-walk to class. She still wasn’t ready to face him.
Later that day at lunch she took her bagel and sat outside. Alone. She wasn’t angry with Shannah or Maysie anymore. It wasn’t their place to have told her about Travis and Misty. That responsibility was all his. Rachael just didn’t want to discuss it—not with anyone.
After lunch she went to the locker room and hid out for ten minutes until she heard the first bell. She didn’t want to arrive to class too early. This was the one class she shared with Travis. Getting there early would provide an opportunity for them to speak. It was going to be hard enough just to see him, let alone speak with him. When she got to class, she coasted into her desk just as the final bell rang. There was a sealed card on her desk. No doubt who it was from. Rachael picked it up and shoved it in her backpack.
As soon as the bell sounded, she ran for the door, not even glancing back at Travis. Behind her she heard Jason mutter, “Keep your distance, man! That girl wants to hurt you right now. Hurt you bad.”
Rachael made it through her day. She had forgotten to ask JJ to pick her up. She only hoped that he’d figured that part out on his own. She went out to the parking lot to wait.
Shannah saw her and moved toward her. “Have no fear, girl. I have no intention of bringing up a sore subject. Just making sure you have a ride home.”
“I’m fine, Shannah. Thank you for checking.”
“Anytime. Hang in there.” Shannah sprinted back over to her Jeep, where Gabe was waiting for her.
By the time four o’clock had rolled around, Rachael figured that JJ had forgotten all about her. She was torn between calling a cab or texting her mother to come by and get her after work. As Rachael weighed her limited options, she heard the telltale barking of dogs and knew that JJ had pulled into the parking lot.
He rambled over to where she sat and came around to open the door for her. “Miss Rachael, yur chariot awaits ya.”
“Thanks, JJ.”
Once they were seated and jostling their way down the road JJ launched into conversation. “I think I may have a vehicle figured out for ya.”
“Really? That was fast.”
“Yes. Well, I happen to know a lot of people.”
Rachael glanced sideways at JJ, who was wearing his typical low-waisted shorts, no shirt, no shoes. With JJ you never knew what you were going to get. There was the cleaned-up deputy, fully clothed and wearing a uniform JJ. Then there was this slightly less refined JJ. Either way, he was still just plain old JJ.
“Okay. You are killing me with excitement here, JJ. What is it?”
“It’s an old Mustang.”
“A Mustang! I could never afford that.”
“Sure you could. Owner said he’d take five hundred dollars for it. I’m not tellin’ ya whut to do or nuthin’, but I’d say that’s a pretty good deal.”
“Well, yeah, if it runs. It does run, doesn’t it?”
“Of course it runs. Wud ole’ JJ steer ya wrong?”
“When can I see it?”
“It’s sittin’ at yur house right now. Let’s go look at ’er.”
“Thanks, JJ. I have the money in cash. I’ll get it as soon as we get home.”
“I knew ya wud. I told him as much—the man I got ’er from.”
Rachael was excited. She knew from the Honcho that the car might need some body work or a paint job at the very least, but it would be hers! And it actually ran! She couldn’t wait to see it.
When they pulled into her driveway and made their way up to the house, Rachael saw it. It was an older white Mustang. As they got closer and closer she saw that it had no dents. No scratches. No rust. This car was in mint condition and looked like it had been stored in a garage for years.
Rachael jumped out and ran over to inspect the inside. The interior was white leather with red carpet and wood grain trim. The inside was in perfect condition too. She swiveled to face JJ.
“Five hundred dollars? You bought this for five hundred dollars?”
“No. You bought it for five hundred dollars, Miss Rachael.”
“Who would take five hundred dollars for a car that’s obviously worth way more than that?” As soon as Rachael asked the question, she knew the answer.
“It was just a good person lookin’ to sell a car he didn’t need no more.”
“This person couldn’t possibly have been either of the Baxters, could it, JJ?”
“Nope. Sure wasn’t.”
She was still dubious. “So you’re telling me that this car—this collectible 1976 Mustang II in mint condition—was for sale for $500?”
“Well,” he drawled, “it wasn’t exactly for sale.” JJ spit into the gravel dirt driveway next to his bare foot.
Rachael didn’t want to offend JJ, but she didn’t want a stolen vehicle either. Knowing JJ like she did, she knew he wouldn’t have stolen it. He was a lawman for crying out loud! So how did he get it? Where did he get it? As long as it wasn’t from the Baxters, she didn’t care.
“Can I take it for a drive?”
“Sure can. Keys are in the ignition.”
Rachael walked over to the car and tried to open the door. “It’s locked.”
“No. That’s the one downside ’bout this here car. That door there jus’ won’t open. It’s kinda like the General Lee that way, Miss Rachael. Ya gotta climb in through the winder.”
“Oh. That’s cool.” Rachael nodded.
“On days when yur wearin’ somethin’ nice ya can walk ’round to the passenger side an’ shimmy on across to the driver’s side.”
“All right. I think I’ve got it. Thanks, JJ.” She ran over and gave him a tight squeeze. “Would you like to take a drive with me?”
“No, thanks, Miss Rachael. I’ve gotta work tonight. See ya ’round.”
Rachael ran inside and grabbed Michael and Levi from his game lounge.
“A ride? With you? Weren’t those seven days of driving lessons torture enough for a lifetime?” Michael whined.
Cowgirl Down (Redneck Debutante) Page 20
