We rounded a bend in the forest and spied a group who looked out of place—a trio of suited bloodsuckers and a whimpering human they were taking turns using as a snack. The vampires were too busy to notice the dark shadows slipping through the trees until they were surrounded. A familiar shape approached them. “Perhaps you’d care to give us a song.”
“The fuck?!”
It took less than ten seconds for the otter horde to descend on them. We could do nothing but watch as a spray of blood filled the air, followed by ash. By the time they were finished, there was nothing left but bloody snow and dust.
Dís-One turned my way and gave a little salute before picking his teeth with a bone splinter and scampering back off into the shadows.
After a moment I turned to my friends. “Remind me to never lose this clam. Death otters are a thing.”
Chapter Thirty-Five: Party Favors
Gary pestered me with question upon question regarding my well-being after we parted ways with Burp and Huge, then made our way back to the magical cave that served as our home base. Then I endured another round of fussing as both Fluff and Boo were waiting for us upon our return.
“Did mean Burp hurt Pretty? Floof get revenge!”
“Relax, guys. I won the fight then sang to the death otters and—
I realized a moment too late that I may have said too much, starting off a furious barrage of questions and highly edited answers.
As tempting as a soak in the hot tub of wonders sounded, I was on a strict magic-free diet for the time being, not to mention I really didn’t want to go back to having the hots for Gary.
I settled for Gary steam-cleaning my clothes dry while I cleaned up and brushed the taste of Burp out of my mouth. Yush and Phil joined us a few minutes later, prompting me to have to recount events yet again. Note to self: bring a battery pack and record vids for the next peace summit.
“Hey, has anyone seen Bush?” I asked once I was done. “I wanted to warn her that I tangled with her son again.”
“Bush aware. Gone to speak to Turd about son and more,” Yush said, stroking her hairy chin. “Yush worry that Bush making trouble.”
“What kind of trouble?”
“Is it trouble with war wolf?” Fluff asked, wide-eyed. “Floof see Bush in huddled in forest with—”
“Floof say no more!” Yush snapped, causing the little furball to recoil. “Yush will go and see if trouble.”
Fluff pouted once she was gone. “Why Yush mad? Floof even hear great Turd say Bush and war wolf spend much time together.”
Phil exchanged a glance with Gary, making me think there was more to this subtext than maybe Fluff was capable of understanding. But before I could ask, she changed the subject. “I believe you’re scheduled to dine with the Meliae today, aren’t you?”
Fluff nodded, her short-term memory apparently able to switch gears with ease. “Not want make Sayuri angry, yes?”
I nodded. “That’s the last thing I want. Yeah, let’s get ready, but someone please remind me to only drink water.”
♦ ♦ ♦
“Welcome, Mistress Flores, Great Conqueror of Burp and Defeater of Huge Yakman. You honor this humble servant yet again,” Mr. Keyne said with a bow as the others wandered off to mingle.
“Word travels fast.”
“I think you’ll find that the trees have eyes,” Mr. Keyne whispered as he leaned in. “Something to perhaps keep in mind.”
“Wonderful,” I said with a sigh. It was like the forest version of Big Brother.
“You came.” I turned just in time to catch Sayuri’s cloak to the face. She smiled and raised her goblet. “And your reputation has only grown. Well met, Conqueror of Burp and Huge Yakman.”
“Jessie is fine, really.”
“Mr. Keyne, please see to her needs, and then we have much to discuss, Jessie.”
She’d barely wandered away again when another greeting was thrown my way. “Dearest Jessie, you made it!” At least Olivia didn’t thwap me with her gown as she welcomed me. “Mr. Keyne, please see to her needs, then you simply must meet me in the sanctuary, we have so much to discuss.”
Um, was I having a Groundhog Day moment or something? “Yeah, sure.” I smiled awkwardly until Olivia darted to another group of guests. Why did I suddenly feel like a party favor?
Mr. Keyne’s brows furrowed. Was I missing something here? Sadly, the only answer to that question was . . . wait for it . . . more footsteps headed my way.
“My lady,” Mr. Keyne said quickly, bowing and slinking away. Oh boy. The only question now was I about to be slapped, whapped in the head, or stabbed in the back? I whirled around to see Ash, wooden mask on, spear at the ready. Could I just make it two hours without getting in a fight, for Pete’s sake?
“You came,” she said flatly.
“So, I’ve heard. Look, I’ve had quite the night so can we, maybe, do this tomorrow?” Maybe I shouldn’t have been quite so blunt, but after facing death otters, a royal birch didn’t seem so bad. I couldn’t really read her face, what with the painted plank on it, but she did that annoyed snorting thing again.
“I came to talk . . . to warn you, in fact. You can expect my sisters to offer you gifts this night—”
“And it’s not even my birthday.”
Ash narrowed her eyes, making me think maybe I should turn my snark-o-meter down from eleven. “They will then take you to the heart of the sanctuary, bring you before the council, and offer you up as the chosen one.”
According to Gary, that was supposed to be a good thing, yet Ash’s tone suggested anything but that. I held my tongue and waited for her to continue.
“Heed my words, Jessie Flores, Conqueror of Burp. I have walked among mortals for eons without measure. I understand your kind better than most, especially my sisters. I have seen the greatest of heroes and the foulest of villains, and I have peered deep into souls just like yours. I know you even better than you know yourself.”
I could feel heat burning deep in my guts. Sparks reignited the tips of my hair. “You don’t know me.”
“You speak bravely now, but I can see indecision in your eyes. Both your powers and resolve are uncertain. You stared at the heart of darkness yet felt nothing. You question your place and your purpose every day.” Okay, maybe she knows me a little. “Know this. Doubt is the destroyer of heroes and master of most men. The time will come soon enough when that doubt will fill your soul and you will realize what the depths of your heart already know—you are no one. There is nothing special about you.”
“Well . . . thanks for the vote of confidence.”
Ash snorted again. Man, I wanted to put my fist through her mask. Let her try snorting then!
She leaned in. “A true hero wouldn’t need my vote of confidence. A hero believes in herself and needs not the approval of others. You are no hero.”
I could feel the anger trying to bubble within. Why was she getting to me so much? She was just some stupid witch in a mask. “Thank you for your opinion. I’ll take it into account.”
Ash let out a deep sigh. “Perhaps I need to be more concise. It doesn’t matter what Sayuri or Olivia do. I am the last of the first and the gatekeeper of our greatest treasures. No matter what anyone may have told you, you are not chosen. I will never choose you.”
“W-Why?” That came out more desperate than I intended. “What’s your problem with me? It’s like you just decided that I’m unworthy—”
“You are, mortal, and the sooner you realize it, the less pain you’ll endure.” She swept past me, but at least this time I dodged her cloak. Score one for me.
I balled my hands into fists. Who did she think she was?
Ash glanced back over her shoulder. “I will give you this advice. Destiny is an illusion. Those that claim to know the future always lie—always.”
♦ ♦ ♦
“I will never choose you,” echoed over and over in my mind as the heat in my gut and atop my head faded, leaving me feeling cold
and alone. “They always lie,” I whispered to myself.
“Can I get you anything, Mistress Flores? I am sure the others won’t want to be kept waiting for much longer.”
I turned to find Mr. Keyne had returned once Ash had backed off. “Did you hear all of that?” I asked, with a sniffle. The look on his face told me all I needed to know. “She . . . hates me, and I have no idea why. But the thing is, I don’t get the sense that she’s lying. In fact, every word she said kinda hit me like a truck. I really have no idea what I’m doing in the middle of Canada watching vampires and Sasquatches settle their differences. What if this is all just some hilarious mistake and Ash is the only tree with enough acorns to tell me?”
Mr. Keyne averted his eyes. Maybe I shouldn’t have dumped on him. He was their servant, after all.
“I’m sorry. It’s unfair to whine at you.”
He took a moment, as if debating what to say, then replied, “Lady Ash has seen much in her time. She’s spent a thousand mortal lifetimes searching and training . . . and with all that experience comes certain preconceptions.”
“It’s okay, you don’t have to sugarcoat anything,” I said between sniffs.
He pulled something out of his jacket—an old smartphone, from the looks of it—with a cracked screen. “I looked into the chosen one prophecy just like you asked. Come with me, if you would.”
We walked into one of the temple gardens where the grass had been replaced with one of those Zen sand setups. Mr. Keyne motioned to a rather comfy looking rock. “The trees may have ears, but there are no plants here,” he whispered as he handed me the phone. “This contains everything I could find. Your boyfriend should be able to translate.”
“He’s not my boyfriend!”
“You may want to tell him that,” Mr. Keyne teased. “I wouldn’t look at that in any wooded areas. The dryads are not particularly fond of sharing their deepest secrets. However, I think it’s worth the risk to grab that for you.”
“I don’t want to get you into trouble. You’ve been so kind to me—”
“You were kind to me first, Mistress Flores. Knowledge is the greatest weapon mankind has ever wielded. If there is to be war, it would be my honor to ensure a great hero such as yourself is not left without arms to bear.”
“What if I’m not a hero?”
“Then you’ll need what’s here even more.” He set his hand on mine. It reminded me of when Dad would try to cheer me up. “I disagree with Lady Ash on at least one point. Doubt isn’t what destroys heroes. Doubt is what separates confidence from hubris. Knowing your limits may be what saves you one day.”
“Thank you.”
“It has been my pleasure to serve, Mistress Flores.”
“Please, can you just call me Jessie?”
He looked away. “It’s really not my place . . . plus, if I did call you Jessie, then you would have to call me by my given name, and, quite frankly, it’s kind of embarrassing.”
“It can’t be that bad.”
“My parents were, how can I put it, really into nature. My sisters are Luna, Rainbow, and Dawn if that tells you anything.”
“Oh, hippies?”
He pointed to the silver highlights in his hair. “Early hippies, I guess you could say. Anyway, it’s embarrassing.”
“I promise I won’t laugh, but if you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine. It’s even fine if Ash is right. I just don’t want the people I care about to get hurt.”
“No matter what Lady Ash says, that sounds heroic in my book, Mistress Flores.”
I shook my head, needing to get this off my chest. “If we’re being brutally honest, I think I just like other people more than myself. It’s weird . . . but it’s just the way I’ve always felt.” We sat in silence for a while. Then he stood up and slipped me the charger cable. He really was good at his job.
“I’ve never met anyone like you, I must say. I’m glad I met you . . . Jessie.”
“I’m glad I met you too, um. . .”
“Sky,” he said, with a roll of his eyes. Oh, he was right. That was a hippie name, but I promised not to laugh.
“Like Sky Masterson, in Guys and Dolls?” I had at least one half-decent reference up my sleeve thanks to theater class.
He shrugged. “Either way, I’d appreciate if you would address me as Mr. Keyne in front of the others.”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
“Thanks, and I, for one, hope you stay just the way you are, Jessie.” He looked around furtively before leaning in for one more whisper. “Gifts like what the dryads offer always come with a price. Remember that and remember who you are.” He squeezed my hand again and looked me in the eye. “Lady Ash may seem cruel, but she has fewer ulterior motives than the younger council members. I can’t say any more other than please be careful.”
I gave him the biggest hug I could, then made my way back to the party where Gary and Dionaea lounged together talking and laughing while Fluff and Boo danced around like caffeinated jitterbugs. It looked like they were having a better night than me.
“Dearest Jessie, are you ready to talk?” Olivia asked from right behind me. For a plant, she could certainly sneak up on a person. I spun and a frown creased her face the moment she saw me. “Has something upset you? Did our servant—?”
“Your servant has been very kind to me, but your leader made her thoughts perfectly clear, so maybe you shouldn’t waste your time on me.”
Olivia swept in and wrapped an arm around me. “Dearest Jessie, Great Conqueror of Burp, Lady Ash may be the last of the first, but she is not the only voice on the Council of Meliae. I’m well aware how she feels, but believe me, I make up my own mind on who is or is not worthy. Now, walk with me and leave your cares behind.”
♦ ♦ ♦
She led me downstairs to a different part of the temple than the library. Instead of dusty scrolls, I saw a well-lit hall full of statues and artifacts, including a set of three massive spiked dog collars linked to a single chain hanging on the wall. I shuddered.
“Cerberus . . . likes to get out from time to time,” Olivia explained with a laugh. “Heracles’ account is certainly the most famous, but Atalanta had to chase him through the valleys of Corinth for thirteen days before my sisters could get that on him. She finally lured him with a sacrifice of three goats.”
“Brains over brawn, I like it.” I took in bows and quivers, swords embellished with silver and gold, and more spears that I’d seen even in the Higgin’s Armory back home. One particular set caught my eye. “Holy Wonder Woman,” I stammered as I saw a red shield with a bronze upside-down V on it.
“Those belonged to Eirene, a Spartan heroine. She was gifted with the powers of faith but had to dress like a man in order to use them. When her commander found out, he sent her against the vampire armies still holding strong in Troy.” I gulped as I saw the scratches along the top. “She single-handedly defeated many of their oldest, yet she is all but forgotten while Achilles’s name has been sung throughout the ages.”
Olivia pointed to another shield, this one decorated with a wreath of laurels. “Daphne,” she said with a sigh. “A brilliant tactician and mistress of the hunt, yet she’s remembered for scorning Apollo and getting turned into a tree.”
“I’m sensing a trend here,” I whispered as Olivia led me to a podium at the end of the armory. A pedestal sat beneath the watchful gaze of a statue of Uranus, this one thankfully clothed. Upon it sat a silvery chain adorned with jewels of every color. I was never big into jewelry, but seeing that much bling caused some eye wobble. The necklace was coiled around a big bowl-like goblet, a platinum-looking one. “Wow.”
As we drew closer, I realized the goblet wasn’t empty. Inside I spied a deep red liquid, bubbling and frothing as if under its own accord. It all but screamed, “Drink me.”
“The blessings of our great father are numerous indeed,” Olivia whispered in my ear. “Long ago the Meliae asked for a guide to help us find our way again. With t
he power of Uranus, you could be that which we have so long sought.”
“Or you could choose something more pragmatic,” another voice said. “Something to defeat your enemies.” I looked up to see Sayuri leading against a nearby column. Next to her was a spear and shield combo, both with blue-black metal and a weird shimmer. “Come now, you’ve seen the fools both sides have sent to the peace table. It will be war soon enough and we’ll need a warrior to guide us.”
“We are not at war yet, sister,” Olivia spat. “We need someone to guide us down a gentle path and protect those who cannot protect themselves.”
They kept arguing, contempt flying back and forth. As they bickered, I glanced back and forth between the goblet and the weapons. All at once I was back in that horrific dream where I’d fallen into a star.
“Do you think yourself worthy? Do you think you are chosen?”
“No!” I snapped. Oops, that was not my inside voice. The two dryads stopped to stare at me, and I could sense each was going to start in with their spiel again. “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to excuse me.”
I bolted up the stairs, not waiting to see what they’d say next. My first impulse was to find Gary, word vomit to him, and ask for his advice, but I saw him busy sucking face with Dionaea.
For a moment I stopped and stared, then took off again. Maybe it was for the best. Could he really help me with this? Could anyone?
What a stupid question. I knew that much. Major decisions, like accepting the blessing of a Greek god, required more than trite advice and some quiet contemplation. In fact, I was certain I was in over my head, so I did the only thing that came to mind. I ran. I almost made it to the tree line when a spear struck the ground at my feet, causing me to skid to a halt.
“They offered you the Blessing despite my dissent?” Ash asked, her annoying cloak flapping in the breeze.
Second String Savior Page 29
