The cave was quiet now, the heated altercation between Jake and Parker had ended. Jake hadn’t held back, and she had only to regret that his assault hadn’t been levelled at Hugh, whom she felt actually deserved it.
What Jake and Parker’s exchange had revealed was that it had been Hugh’s flagging self-esteem that had brought them to this. She had wanted to know what had transpired in that cockpit. Now she did, and couldn’t believe it. Hugh’s insecurity demons had caused a man’s death and rendered the rest of them helpless. Was Parker responsible for that? Jake seemed to think so. She wasn’t a parent, but she had single-handedly raised her three younger siblings: Hazel and the twins, Sebastian and Alistair, who were older than Hazel but younger than Nina herself. She was under no illusion that she’d been the perfect guardian. At seventeen, and even now, years later, she was no guru on parenting. For her, it remained the hardest job she’d ever done. But she did know, purely by witnessing how Hazel and the twins treated others, that her siblings tried their best to treat others with respect. They weren’t perfect of course. Who was? But they acted nothing like Hugh Drayton. For that, she was grateful and proud of herself.
But Ben was gone. She still couldn’t believe it. He’d died doing his job, doing what he’d loved. It had been undeserved, unfair, and unnecessary; his life snatched away by another man’s irresponsibility. It reminded her all too clearly of when her parents had died all those years ago. They too had died due to someone's irresponsibility.
The finality of death – the absolute completeness of it – made it hard to look back, to remember the things you didn’t say to the person that you wished you had, the love you’d neglected to show due to being busy with other things. The choices she’d made for her and her siblings had been a direct result of what she felt she owed to her dead parents. When she and her siblings talked about their parents now, which they’d been doing more so recently, it carried a sense of gratitude for who their parents had been.
She had been seventeen when the death of her parents had occurred. Nothing had prepared her for the sheer level of debilitating emotions that had come with it.
Hazel was now nineteen years of age, and their two brothers – the twins, Alistair and Seb – were twenty-five. But when their parents had died, Hazel had been only four and the twins ten. The twins often remembered quite a bit about them, but it was Hazel, who had been only four at the time, who struggled to recall anything concrete about them.
Hazel was excitable and strong-willed, always wanting to try the next big thing. Nina smiled. She’d been that way herself once, before tragedy had placed obligation and duty on her narrow teenage shoulders. She still remembered trying to answer all of Hazel’s confused questions, and recalled the twin’s withdrawn behavior. The same behavior, she realized, that she was understandably seeing with Emily.
When their parents had died, their extended family had sadly been of little help. Their mother’s only surviving relatives, two aunts, hadn’t wanted to be saddled with four children. Social Services had wanted to separate them, but even as a teenager, she’d known that wouldn’t have worked. Who would comfort the twins when they suffered another one of their many nightmares? Who would let Hazel climb into bed with them every night and put up with Hazel’s constant baby gibbering? Only close family would do that.
Up until her parents died, she’d focused on herself like any other teenager. Dreams of being an Olympic gymnast had consumed her life. But when faced with the crushing realization that her parents were never coming back, those things had ceased to be important. It hadn’t meant that she’d stopped wanting them, but only that the bigger challenges of life required time and attention. Who would be there to cheer her on when she won gold anyway? Who would support her financially with the training and expenses that went hand in hand with becoming an Olympic gymnast? Though her parents hadn’t lived to see what she’d been able to accomplish for herself and her younger siblings, she had a strong hope they’d be looking down at her and be extremely proud of what she had achieved.
Would how she handled this current situation make them proud if they were still alive? She hoped so. She made her living by solving legal problems. She was trained to find answers, expected to dig out solutions and find the truth. In addition she'd developed a strong spirit of not quitting easily. From what she saw in Jake, he, like her friends Angela and Neil, didn’t seem to quit easily, either. He’d lost a good friend, lost a great deal more than they had, and yet he remained purposeful and focused. He had a short fuse when it came to the Draytons, and granted, he hadn’t been as forthcoming with her regarding their plan of action as she would have liked, but she still found herself comforted by his addition to their group.
She thought of Alex and grimaced. She hated to admit it, but he’d be useless in a crisis like this. She hadn’t thought of him since getting on the jet. A testament to their unfulfilling relationship. She’d given the relationship everything she had. In the past, she’d always made a point of calling him when away for work. Just as she had her sister Hazel. She wondered if Hazel was reading anything into her lack of communication.
She realized then that she'd kept her ski boots and gloves on. Did she need to take them off? It was warm in the cave, but she wondered if she would be cold if she removed them. Angela had taken hers off; she saw and sat up to remove her own. She wiggled her bare fingers, gratified to see that for the most part, they looked the same as normal, only the skin peeling a bit at the tip.
As for her feet...she looked down at them as she wiggled her toes in the bright red socks she’d kept on. The heels of her feet were sore due to all the walking, but they were warming up due to the warmth of the cave. She pressed her fingers to—her right temple. The banging that had been there earlier had receded. The Saranax was doing its job, but she had only two left in her purse.
“Neen...you’re still awake?” It was Angela, sounding groggy and only half awake herself.
Surprised, Nina turned her head and tried to see into the dim light. “I thought you were asleep?”
“I was, but I can hear you worrying.”
Nina couldn’t help smiling. “How can you possibly hear me worrying?”
“Go to sleep, Neen.”
“I’ve been trying.”
“Try harder. We’re likely to have a hectic day tomorrow so we need to conserve our energy.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Nina placed her arm under her head to make a pillow and closed her eyes. Ten minutes later, she actually did succumb to sleep.
Chapter 11
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“I thought you’d finished the maths assignment?” Rebecca Davies leaned against Hazel’s open dormitory door and munched on a carrot stick.
Hazel stopped doodling on her notepad and smiled at her fellow university housemate. Rebecca, better known as Becky, was her friend and fellow math’s undergrad. Dressed in a dark green t-shirt and white jogging bottoms, Becky had pulled her curly ginger hair back in a ponytail that highlighted her slender jaw.
Their student house accommodated four people, their two other housemates, Paula and Katie, had yet to return from class. Hazel glanced out of her small bedroom window. A dark cloud of fog covered the horizon. Katie and Paula had better get back soon as it looked like another torrent of snow was on its way, thicker than it had been yesterday.
“I’ve finished the assignment,” she told Becky. Stretching her arms over her head, Hazel yawned. “I emailed it to Mr. Philips yesterday. I was just thinking.”
Becky eyed the open Further Linear Algebra textbook in front of Hazel then arched a brow. “About algebra? Really? Wow. That’s dedication to a worrying level, Haze.”
“No.” With a chuckle, Hazel nudged the textbook aside. “I was thinking about my sister.”
“Nina?” Becky glanced at the gold framed photo of Nina, Hazel, and their twin brothers, Seb and Alastair, which sat on Hazel’s desk. “Didn’t you say she was off on a business trip this weekend?” She fini
shed off the last of the carrot.
“Yeah. A skiing one.” Agitated, Hazel chewed on her bottom lip. “She left yesterday morning. She usually calls to let me know that she’s arrived safely. She hasn’t called yet.”
Becky smiled and shrugged. “She’s probably having too much fun tumbling down a mountain to call.”
Hazel sighed.
Becky’s smile widened. “You worry too much.”
Hazel pouted. “I do not.”
On a laugh, Becky pushed herself off the doorframe to come and sit on the edge of Hazel’s bed. Tucking her feet underneath her, she made herself comfortable. “Did Alex go with her?”
Hazel grimaced before she could stop herself. “No. He’s still at the flat. It was a client trip so he wasn’t invited.” She smirked. She knew it was mean to find it amusing, but she couldn’t help it. “You need to have a job to go on client trips.”
“He doesn’t have a job?” Becky examined her chipped thumbnail. “How come?”
Hazel shrugged again, reluctant to poison the atmosphere by discussing the sorry excuse for the man who sponged off her sister.
Rising to grab the nail file off Hazel’s sink, Becky began filing her nails. “If Alex didn’t go with her, then maybe she called him to let him know she’d arrived. Have you checked with him?”
Hazel gave a mental shudder but reached for her phone. “I’d rather call the ski resort directly.”
“I thought you said she’s staying in a private chalet?”
Hazel paused and then sighed. “Jeez, you’re right. Good thing I told you.” She frowned. “I guess the ski resort won’t have any information on who’s traveling to the area?”
“Unlikely.” Becky continued to file in long even strokes. “My Uncle Harry goes skiing.” She pouted. “He never invites me along, though.” When Hazel said nothing, Becky lifted her eyes from her nails. “You’re worrying about nothing, babes. She’s a big girl, she’s fine, and she’ll call when she can. Besides, she’s only gone for a few days, right?”
“Yeah, I know, but ...” Hazel frowned. Neen always calls the same day she arrives. She wouldn’t let the night go by without making contact.
Becky’s eyes shone with ill-concealed amusement. “You guys are so funny. I swear you all need to relax. Give it a couple of days, Haze. Let the lady do all the business stuff that she needs to do.”
“A couple of days? That’s too long. Besides, this is the first time Neen’s been skiing. She could’ve hurt herself on the slopes.”
The nail filing stopped. Becky stared at her in fascination. “Erm...Haze, honey...relax. You know, for a younger sister you worry a lot. Let Nina worry about you.”
Hazel rolled her eyes. “You have a strange sense of logic, Becky. What does age have to do with it? You’re an older sister; you must know that your younger sister, Stacey, would worry about you if you went on a trip and didn’t make contact.” She put her phone aside. She really didn’t want to call Alex. Please call me, Neen.
“Stacey doesn’t worry about me, period, and vice versa.” Becky turned her attention to her third nail. “That’s Mother’s job. Where did she go skiing, by the way?”
“Kitzbűhel.”
“Ooh, nice. Uncle Harry goes there whenever he wants to impress a new girlfriend.” Becky sighed. “It never makes any of them want to stick around though.”
“The client Neen’s going with owns a chalet there.”
Becky whistled. “Bet you wished you could’ve gone instead of doing algebra.”
Hazel laughed. “Naturally, but I would’ve preferred piloting them there.” Her voice and eyes became dreamy. “Before they took off, I got to go inside the jet they’re flying in. It was a full-fledged Challenger 605, Becky.”
Becky, eyes focused on her task, missed Hazel’s dreamy expression, but she heard it in Hazel’s voice. “That’s good, then?”
“Are you kidding?” Hazel leaned forward eagerly, her voice filled with awe. “The Challenger series is like, one of the best names out there.”
Becky looked up briefly. “If you say so. How did you manage to get inside when you weren’t traveling with them?”
“The nice copilot and captain let me nose around.” Hazel sent Becky a meaningful look and sat back. “The captain studied at Brunel for his BEng in Aviation Engineering. I told you that it’s the best university to study aviation.”
Becky groaned. “Please. I can’t bear the thought of doing another degree after finishing here.”
“You’d do it in a heartbeat if it was something you really wanted to do.”
“If you say so.”
Hazel grinned, looked at her phone again, and scowled. Neen should know better than to not call. She’d give her a piece of her mind when she does call. She lifted her eyes to find Becky watching her; the nail file paused in midair. “What?”
“You guys worry easily, hmm?”
Hazel looked away. She felt embarrassed and exposed and had to fight to push both feelings aside. “Maybe. I don’t know. I guess you get anxious...when...when you’ve lost someone before.” Rising from the desk, she paced around her small room, arms crossed over the pink polo neck jumper she wore. She’d stuck photos on the wall above her bed; pictures of Nina, the twins, and her deceased parents. “I guess you’re right, we do worry a bit.”
Becky gave a soft smile. “Whether it’s Nina, one of your brothers, or any of us here, you get fidgety if anyone’s unexpectedly late back.”
Hazel went to the window, saw Katie and Paula making their way up the path, and felt her stomach muscles loosen with relief. She turned to face her friend. “I guess somewhere in the back of my mind there is always that fear that I could lose someone I care about again, like I did with my parents. I think Neen and the twins are the same.”
Becky’s face flooded with sympathy and she put the nail file down. “You told me you lost them when you were little.”
“Yeah...when I was four.” Hazel’s voice was distant. “Neen probably thinks I don’t remember much of it or of my parents, and she’d be right. I don’t remember much, just bits and pieces.” She swallowed. “I remember knowing something had changed in the family dynamics, even at that young age. My parents weren’t there. I could no longer smell the talcum powder my mother used to put on after her bath, or the soap my father used to use. I could no longer hear their voices.” She smiled.
“The best smell on a man is definitely soap, as far as I’m concerned.” Becky grinned. “I agree. That way you can be sure he’s washed all his nooks and crannies.”
They both collapsed into laughter, and this time, Hazel was able to smile fully.
“I remember the house feeling strangely empty, though,” Hazel said a moment later. “And quiet. Unnaturally quiet.”
“Kids are pretty perceptive, even at a young age, I guess.” Becky’s eyes had darkened with empathy. “Did Nina explain what happened?”
“She tried. I remember her always being there. But at that age, the family dynamics had changed. So had she.” She heard Katie and Paula make their way into the house and head straight for the kitchen, chattering all the way.
“What do you mean by Nina changing?”
Hazel gave a restless shrug. “She became more anxious, busier, stressed.” And those memories stayed with you, Hazel knew, until it became a habit. “She was in charge now, and looking back, I can see that she had been forced into that. She was always running around trying to be everywhere at once.” She swallowed again. “She got into a car crash because of me.”
Becky’s mouth fell open. “What? How?”
Hazel studied the tips of her red-socked feet. “I was nine. I had a lead part in a school play.” It seemed so silly now to remember how much importance she’d placed on that play. She looked up. “Neen had to pick up the twins from football practice, and I told her that she just had to be at my play.”
Becky winced, and Hazel nodded. Becky knew what was coming.
“Neen said she’d drop th
e twins off at their friend’s house then drive over to see my play. I doubt she’d even eaten because she would’ve had to collect the twins straight after her law class. We made her our parents without realizing it.”
“She would have been what...twenty-two?”
“Twenty-three.” Hazel moved back to her desk and sat down on the cushioned wooden chair. “I remember being on stage and not seeing her.” She met Becky’s eyes. “I remember wondering where she was. I saw an audience full of faces but not Neen’s. My teachers were there, my next-door neighbor whose daughter was in my class was there, but not Neen.”
Becky nodded. “When you’re a kid and you’re performing in something like a school play, you always want the people who mean the most to you to be there.”
“Exactly.” And Neen would have known that, which was why she’d done everything she could to make the play. “The last part of the play was coming to an end, and I remember seeing two men in dark uniforms appear at the back of the room. They were talking to two of my teachers. I realized the men were the police.” Hazel paused, trying to conjure up the image again. It was always at this part that her memory shut off as if aiding her to forget the pain. She had never decided if that was good or bad. “The teachers looked shocked. They kept looking in my direction. When the play finished, I avoided them.” Her eyes filled with shame.
Sadness had filled Becky’s eyes. “You were a kid. A kid who had lost her parents a few years earlier. It makes sense that you’d be frightened.”
Hazel’s fingers twisted in her lap. “Maybe. But I hid. I hid until someone found me a little while later under the large curtains of the theater hall. The policewoman asked me to come with them. I didn’t know what was going on, but I knew it wasn’t good because the police had been at our house when my parents died.”
“Oh, Haze...”
“The police had sad faces. Just like after my parents died. I didn’t want to be asked to sit down again as I had been asked back them. I didn’t want to be told to leave the room as I had back then, and I didn’t want to have my head patted like I was a good little dog.”
Spiral and Torn Books 1 and 2 of The Salzburg Saga Trilogy Page 9
