Her heart squeezed with fear. “They went all the way back to the lake?”
“Yes, while you were asleep. Checked all around the area they said, but...nothing.”
She swallowed. If they lost Ange...Nina drew a deep shuddering breath. First the plane crash, then Ben being killed, then the avalanche which had blocked any possible escape from then, and now Ange was fighting for her life. She deliberately kept her gaze averted from the tall white wall of the avalanche that was impossible to miss on the way to the lake. Imposing in its height as it stood beside the dark looming mountains around them, the avalanche just reminded her of everything else that had gone wrong on this networking trip. Their only sanctuary was this small but efficient snow cave that they had sweated and labored over their first night out here. With rooms enough for all of them, the intricately designed, almost igloo look alike cave remained warm and safe. But she couldn’t forget what Jake had told Parker their first night out here: snow caves shrink a little every day.
“How are you feeling?” Parker asked in an obvious attempt to distract them both.
She just shook her head. She didn’t want to analyze how she felt, and gingerly got up from her sleeping platform to sit beside Parker on the edge of Angela’s. Instead of answering he nodded at Ange. “What’s her body temperature now?”
Parker sat at the edge of Angela’s sleeping platform, his left arm still in its sling and his face still drawn and haggard His eyes were grim as they ran over her black eye. For Parker, who for the last two hours he had watched over Angela, it remained funeral quiet in the cave; everyone had retreated to their rooms. He wished they had had this quiet in the flight out. If they had, Hugh never would have got it into his head to crash the jet. How could a networking trip, he mused in despair, organized to spend some much needed time with his two distant sons while helping out some business colleagues cause all this? His relationship with Justin and Hugh had been strained for years, he knew he was responsible for that. This trip was meant to try and heal much of that. It was so hard to get any time with the boys while in London despite working with them at his hotels. They were always busy with one social activity or another. He had been desperate to believe that time away from work, distractions and London would give them some much needed time together. And it should have done, but then the alcohol had gotten Hugh, as it always did. He was to blame, he admitted, and felt the agony of guilt and shame pulse through him until he felt almost sick to his stomach. While on that jet he should have insisted to Emily their stewardess, that she never serve any alcohol to Hugh. He had considered it, but hadn’t wanted to embarrass his son that way. That would have guaranteed Hugh never talking to him again, he was sure of it.
On a deep breath, he held up the thermometer Rita had given him before the guilt and regret choked him. “Her temperature is ninety-four degrees,” he answered. “It needs to be higher.” The color had slowly seeped back into Angela’s lips. Her eyes were open and she blinked every few seconds, but it was obvious she was struggling to focus.
“She’s breathing,” Nina pointed out, a burst of hope echoing in her voice. “I can hear it.”
Parker looked at her. “I’m surprised you’re not in worse condition, Nina. Justin said you were in the water too.”
She nodded, wondering if Angela’s breathing condition had made Ange more susceptible to the frigidly cold water. “Ange’s breathing is weaker than mine with her asthma. Maybe that’s why?”
Parker sighed. “Well, Jake’s due to come and take over from me in a bit. How’s your eye?” He eyed the black eye. ”I can’t believe Emily did that. She was always so serene, so professional.”
Was, Nina realized numbly. Past tense, because like her husband Ben, Emily was now dead. Gone. Why on earth hadn’t she seen it coming? “I can’t believe she’s gone....just like that. Just like Ben.”
She saw Parker swallow. “Me neither,” he said. “I can’t believe anything that has happened on this trip. It seems to be one thing after another.”
Yes, and all because of your brat of a son, Hugh, she thought bitterly. “Have you told Hugh?” she asked tightly. “About Emily? That she’s killed herself because he dumped us all out here?”
Parker flinched. “Justin told him. Hugh....” Parker rubbed his free hand over his face. “Hugh hasn’t said anything since. He seems to have withdrawn even further into himself. He’s been having trouble sleeping too.”
Good, she thought with contempt. If Parker expected her to have sympathy for his son then he was out of luck. She could only hope that Hugh’s withdrawal kept more of them alive.
“Your black eye...” Parker shook his head in amazement. “I still struggle to believe that Emily did that to you.”
Nina’s mouth tightened. “Well I’m not making it up, Parker. I definitely didn’t give it to myself.”
He looked uncomfortable now. “Of course not, I’m just saying–”
“It’s feeling a little better. Rita put some cream on it.” She looked down at the mismatch of clothing that she still wore, hand-me-downs the rest of the group had given her until her own dried.
Parker began to say something, hesitated, and then did. “Try not to think about what Jake said earlier, about it being your fault that Emily’s gone. He’s upset. He’s lost two friends. It’s a difficult time.”
Nina didn’t take her gaze from Angela yet, he noted. “All I want to concentrate on is Ange.”
“She may not need the inhaler for a while yet. Keeping her warm is top priority now.” He watched as Nina pressed her hand to Angela’s forehead. “She said a few things while you slept,” he reported. “Bits and pieces but nothing coherent. She’s confused and slurring her words.” All classic signs of hypothermia, he knew, but refrained from pointing that out.
Nina firmed her lips. “We’re not losing Ange.”
Parker nodded and got to his feet. “I’ll go and get Jake, let him know he can take over now. You should go back to sleep.” He started out, and then stopped, turning back to face her, his back now facing the entrance of the room. “Do you...do you think this nightmare is my fault too?”
When she remained silent he went on. “I’m sure you heard the argument Jake and I had on our first night out here.” He drew a deep breath at the memory. “He wasn’t exactly quiet.”
Nina sighed. “Jake says a lot of things, and he’s rarely quiet.”
“But do you agree with what he said that night? That it’s my fault that we’re in this situation? That it’s my fault for the way Hugh has turned out?”
Nina stared at him. Why was he asking her this? Back in London she, Angela and Neil worked as his legal counsel, not as a therapist team. In the three short years she had worked with Parker he had rarely courted emotional support. On the contrary he was professional, polite and courteous, and had an almost saint-like patience when it came to his sons. But now, as he stood in front of her, grey-faced and nursing a broken arm, he resembled little of the businessman that she, Ange and Neil worked with. What had caused him to ask her such a personal question about Jake? Jake couldn’t stand any of them, that was obvious, and despite it irritating her as her group had done nothing to deserve it, she ignored it, as did Ange and Neil. But Parker looked unsure now. He looked...defeated, she thought. He had watched his youngest son, drunk and out of control burst into the cockpit of their private jet, start a fight with the captain, injuring Ben the co-pilot in the process, and then caused their jet to crash. Ben had died, and now Emily had gone. Two dead. And with Emily it was even more disturbing because she had willfully orchestrated her own death to be with Ben, her husband. Simply thinking about it made Nina cold inside. She didn’t want to do a post-mortem of Parker’s parenting skills with him. She wanted to see Ange get better and connect with her family. She wanted to hear the reassuring voice of her sister, the deep affectionate tones of their twin brothers.
With a sigh she sat at the edge of Angela’s platform and wearily rubbed her hands over her tired f
ace. “What’s done is done, Parker. Nothing can change that.” Now leave me alone, she screamed silently. I don’t’ want to have a heart-to-heart. I just want to get out of here. To be back in my own house, in my own bed, with the reassuring sound of my family on the other end of the phone. But she didn’t say any of those things, she knew that it would be cruel too.
But Parker, his eyes haunted, leaned a shoulder against the entrance of the room, mindful of his bandaged arm. “What’s done is done,” he agreed with deep regret. “But that’s a typical lawyer-like evasive answer, Nina.”
“Maybe that’s because I practice law as a profession, Parker,” she retorted “Nothing’s going to change that either. Just like what has happened to Ben and Emily isn’t going to change. So why all these questions?”
His body slackened with misery and guilt. “And my son is responsible for all of it.”
She looked at him without expression, her eyes bruised and haunted. Wasn’t it obvious to him that she didn’t want or talk about Hugh and Justin? Maybe not. Maybe she was so accustomed to putting on a poker-face – a necessary skill for her line of work – that she easily hid her emotions from her face without even realizing she was doing so.
“You’ve always told me the truth, Nina, even when things haven’t looked good.”
“We’re not preparing a legal case now, Parker.” Her words were flat even to her own ears.
“No,” he said on a deep sigh.
But clearly, she realized, he was struggling to get what Jake had said out of his head, even though he had told her to do just that. On some level, Jake’s words must have hit a nerve. Why couldn’t he have taken it up with Neil? Why her?
She let out a long breath. “I’ve always believed that it’s a parent or guardian’s job to raise their children to respect others,” she began with obvious reluctance. “Raising kids is the hardest job in the world...” She trailed off, remembering her own attempts to raise three younger siblings at the age of seventeen when her parents had been tragically killed. God, those days had been tough. At times, when the pounds had failed to stretch and feed them adequately she had wondered if they would make it. They had, remarkably, but it had been a struggle. She pursed her lips as the memories made images of her siblings flood into her mind. What she would give to be back with them right now, even back at that time which had been their most difficult. She would willingly go back in time to that period than be where she currently is now. Heck, she’d even be arguing with her boyfriend Alex right now, and that was saying something, as despite the horror they were in, she only missed her family, and not him. But she’d take Alex over this situation.
With an effort she refocused on Parker. “But once a child reaches twenty-one, they’re responsible for themselves, Parker. Hugh is twenty-seven, Justin twenty-nine. That’s old enough to take responsibility for their actions.”
“Hugh’s too busy complaining about his broken leg right now to take responsibility for anything.”
She looked away, her mouth twisting as if she’d sucked on a piece of lemon.
“He was drunk when he burst into that cockpit and sent us all crashing.” Avoiding her gaze, Parker shifted his gaze to Angela. “He’s often drunk.”
“Yes,” Nina agreed in a cautious tone. “It’s obvious he struggles with alcohol–”
Parker’s gaze whipped back to her. “The term is alcoholic, Nina.”
Her eyes flashed with annoyance. “I don’t think it’s so much about terms or labels, Parker, but the underlying problem. Why is he an alcoholic? And why am I here suffering because of it? Why are any of us?” Her brow arched, making him uncomfortable where he stood. “Why is he always so antagonistic toward everyone? Especially you? I think you need to find the answers to those questions. Maybe then, you’ll have more success helping him.” And we’ll never find ourselves in a nightmare like this again.
But Parker had started this conversation, and so she would finish it. “Yes, Hugh caused all this, Parker, we all know that. Whatever insecurities drove him to break into the cockpit haven’t been resolved. And look at the minor injury he sustained. A broken leg.” She gave a hoarse laugh of disbelief. “Two other people are dead. And Ange–” She broke off, looked away and carefully replaced Angela’s glove, her chest heaving. “Does that seem fair to you?”
“Of course not.” Absently, Parker ran a hand over the sling Emily had tied on his arm.
“I don’t even have the energy to be frightened anymore, Parker.” And that was something she had had to admit to herself too. “But even if– no.” She shook her head in determination. “Even when we get out of this, Hugh will still be Hugh. He’ll still want to be the center of attention and make him want to prove himself, often at another person’s expense.” She indicated the room where they were. “Do you want to find yourself in this situation again?”
Parker blanched. “God forbid.”
“Then you need to help him.”
“I’ve been trying,” he muttered.
“You’ll need to try harder,” she said simply, and frowned. “Justin’s a little easier to deal with, but not much. It’s as if they’re both trying to sabotage you, or anyone who works with you. And now we’re stuck out here, and two people are dead. Two people who had their whole lives ahead of them, Parker. Ben and Emily aren’t coming back.” She could never figure it. Neither could Neil or Ange. Did the boys want their family hotel to do well or not?
“Hugh and Justin... had difficult upbringings–” Parker began.
She let out a quick, mocking laugh. She couldn’t help it. “Lots of people have difficult upbringings, Parker, but they don’t cause all this.” Parker was looking for an excuse, she thought, and she wouldn’t allow it.
Parker’s face stiffened but he continued diligently on. “I know that, Nina. I’m sorry for all this, for everything that has happened. When I organized this trip for you three, I never envisioned any of this.”
She drew a deep breath. “I know, and we’re grateful for you wanting to do this for us. It was a very kind gesture. It’s just...it’ll be better if you don’t’ try and make excuses for him.”
“I won’t, but you wanted to know why you’re here, suffering due to Hugh’s drinking problem,” he reminded her. “Hopefully what I’m about to tell you will help you understand.”
She sighed. “Okay. Go on.”
“I believe that Hugh’s drinking problem came from his mother, but I have to face the fact that I didn’t help the situation.”
Nina’s eyes sharpened. “Their mother drank?”
“Drinks. Present tense.” Parker’s jaw had clenched, Nina noticed. “When they were growing up I had to travel a lot for business,” he continued. “Setting up hotels around the country. Often I’d get home and see open alcohol bottles around the house. Too accessible for the boys,” he bit out angrily. “Too easy for them to get their hands on it. I warned her, told her to lock it away she always rolled her eyes, said I was overreacting.”
Appalled, Nina could only stare at him. How could the boys’ mother not have seen the harm in leaving alcohol around the house? Children were curious, of course they’d be tempted to try some.
“I don’t think Justin was ever caught by the alcohol,” Parker went on. “But it seemed to get Hugh. Maybe because he was younger. But there were always lots of glasses and bottles around, as if she’d had company over.”
“She had lots of drinking friends, huh?” Nina asked, trying to put a picture together.
“One friend in particular.” Parker’s voice was brittle. “A male friend. One who always made himself scarce when I was due to come home though. She’d drink around the boys. Leave alcohol within easy access. By this time the boys were about twelve and ten. And with a mother who paid more attention to her drink than to them.”
When Nina felt pity begin to stir in her stomach she clamped down hard on it. She would not feel pity for Hugh Drayton.
“Julia–that’s their mother–denied that she
had a problem of course,” Parker continued. “I’d book her for AA classes and she wouldn’t go; she’d be angry that I’d even done it. And every year, it got worse. It was one of the many things we argued about.” He expelled a long breath and scrubbed a hand wearily over his face. “I’ve worked hard all my life, provided the best that I could for my boys. Though Julia and I never married because she never wanted to get married, I tried to give Justin and Hugh the best life possible.”
“They were close to you as they grew up?” Nina asked.
A spasm of pain crossed Parker’s face, making Nina wonder what she had said.
“Yes, we were close,” Parker began. “Though I travelled a lot I was always home at the weekends. Until....and then I learned the truth.” He pressed his lips together. “One day I came back early from a business trip and overheard Julia on the phone admitting that I wasn’t the boy’s biological father.”
Shocked, for a moment Nina could only stare at him. She wondered if she had misheard then realized, as he looked down at his feet, that she hadn’t.
He swallowed, the pain of that truth showing clearly in his expression. Of all the things she had expected this wasn’t it. For Parker, gave such a display of loving those two boys, and she never got from Justin or Hugh that they thought of him as anything but their father. They had a tempestuous relationship to be sure, but many families did, especially where money was involved.
“I wanted to believe that I had misheard,” he continued. “But I went and got DNA tests done, and it was confirmed. So much changed then. I couldn’t bear to look at her, be around her. I moved out of the family house. I thought I’d be able to keep my relationship going with the boys but every time I saw them, I saw Julia. They look just like her. It became easier to stay away from all of them.” He sucked in a pained breath. “And I did. For three years until I reunited with them. Those three years saved my sanity, but it killed my relationship with the boys. I’m still trying to get it back. They’ve never forgiven me for leaving them without an explanation. It’s one of my biggest regrets.”
Spiral and Torn Books 1 and 2 of The Salzburg Saga Trilogy Page 17
