by L. Wilder
“Don’t give me that. You know exactly what I mean. I have no doubt that this all has something to do with those awful men your father called brothers. I told him from the start no good could come from that damned club, but he wouldn’t listen. Now, he’s dead because of them.”
“He loved the club. He was happy.”
“Would he be happy now? Would he want you stuck working in that awful strip club with all that goes on there? The whole thing makes me sick.”
“Aunt Janet.”
“It’s not your fault, Zoe. I know my stupid brother left you no choice. That’s what makes me so angry with him. He should’ve planned for this. He should’ve done whatever it took to ensure your future, but he was too tied up in that club to stop and think.”
“I’m okay. Really.”
“No, you’re not.” She motioned over to Seth as she sighed with frustration. “You’re sitting in a hospital room at four in the morning with some guy those men beat the hell out of.”
“I’m here because I want to be.”
“I get that, but I just don’t understand why. Is this guy some kind of boyfriend or something?”
“No. It’s not like that.”
“Then, tell me what it is like.”
“It’s complicated.”
“I’m worried, dear.”
“You don’t have to be. I can handle myself.”
“It’s not you that I’m worried about. It’s those Neanderthals in that club that I worry about. It could’ve been you lying in this bed instead of him.”
I wanted to tell her about my plans to leave, but I was afraid to say the words out loud. Everything she’d said about the brothers were true, and deep down, I was scared. I had no idea what they would do when they found out I was leaving. I’d like to think they’d just let me walk away, that they’d be glad to be rid of all ties to my dad, but in my heart, I knew it wouldn’t be that easy. “I’ll be okay. I promise.”
“You say that, but there’s no way you can know for sure. These men have no conscience. You have to get away from them.”
“I’ll figure it out, but for now, I just need for Seth to be okay.”
“I’ll talk to the doctor when he comes in and see if I can find out anything, but only on one condition.”
“What?”
“You go home soon and get some rest.”
“I will. I promise,” I assured her.
“Good. I worry about you, sweetheart. You are all I have left of your father, and I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.”
“I’m going to be fine.” I walked over to her and gave her a hug. “How’s Uncle Dan? I would’ve asked earlier, but…”
We’d all been caught by surprise when we’d found out my uncle had colon cancer. He was a health nut, always exercising and eating right, but everything changed after a routine checkup. When they got the news, Aunt Janet started working nights at the hospital so she could be there with him during the day. It had been hard on the entire family. Every time the doctors thought he was making progress, there’d be another setback. I hoped for good news, but I could tell from the expression on her face that he wasn’t doing well.
She shrugged. “There’re good days and bad days, but he’s doing okay. Hopefully this next round of treatment will do the trick.”
“I hope so, too. Please tell him I’m thinking about him.”
“I will.” As she started for the door, she added, “Don’t forget our deal.”
“I won’t. I promise. Thank you for everything.”
Once she was gone, I sat back down in my spot and looked over at Seth. I’d spent the last week talking to him, sharing stories about myself, and reading, and I had no idea if he could even hear me. It all felt so silly. I felt a pull to him, and the guy wasn’t even awake. I had no idea what kind of man he really was, or if he’d even be interested in someone like me. I found myself wondering about all of those crazy little things—his favorite color, his favorite food, his favorite movie—and I wondered if we had anything in common at all. Even though there were so many unanswered questions, something in my heart told me I was right where I needed to be.
I was still watching the rise and fall of his chest when a cute, young nurse came bopping in the room. With a bright smile, she sat down her supplies. “Hey, I’m Macy! It’s time for his bath.”
“Um, okay,” I said after an awkward pause. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“No, I’ve got it.” She went to the bathroom to fill the basins with hot water, and when she returned she said, “I do this all the time. I’ve gotten my own little routine.”
The voluptuous redhead walked over to him and, after removing his blankets, started to undress him. A twinge of jealousy shot through me as I watched her untie his hospital gown and start to tug it down his shoulders, gently slipping his arms out of the sleeves. I tried not to glare as she pulled the gown further down his muscular torso, stopping at his waist. She then carefully tucked towels beneath his chest and arms before dipping the sponge in the soapy water. After wringing it out, she began gingerly stroking his face with it. Once she had rinsed him off, she started on his arm, and that’s where my envy reared its ugly head. I felt the sensation of hot lead in my stomach as I watched her hands slide along his body. Her eyes lingered on his toned bicep as she patted it dry before turning her attention to his sculpted torso. I watched apprehensively as the damp sponge moved across his neck and shoulders, and as I glanced up towards her face, I was immediately irritated to see that her eyes were focused intently on his defined V. As she rinsed his neck and chest, I caught a glimpse of her cheeks flushing.
When she moved to wash his lower abdomen and I noticed her biting her lip, I couldn’t take it anymore. It was like I wasn’t even in the room as this stupid slut-bag ogled him like a piece of meat. I wasn’t having it. I stood up to confront her, but stopped when the door suddenly opened and an orderly rushed in.
A tall black man in green scrubs hurried over to the bedside. “Hey, Macy. I’ve got a situation next door. Can you give me a hand?”
Her freckled nose crinkled in disappointment as she glanced down at Seth’s bare chest. With a reluctant sigh she replied, “Yeah… can it wait a sec? I really need to finish up here.”
I eagerly interjected, “No. No. You can go ahead. It’s no problem! I can finish up here for you.”
She looked at me with near repulsion as she shook her head vigorously. “That’s not necessary! I really need to finish this. It won’t take much longer.”
Trying to contain my annoyance, I walked over to the side of the bed and placed my hand on his chest. “I’ve got it. Really.”
Sensing the tension between us, the kind orderly raised his eyebrows at Macy. “Come on. I need you next door. This can’t wait.”
With a disgruntled huff, she mumbled, “Fine.”
As she dropped the sponge into the basin, she rolled her eyes and started for the door. After she’d left, the orderly smiled and said with a wink, “It’s hard to find good help these days. Let me know if you need anything.”
Once they’d gone, I took a deep breath to collect myself and focus on the job at hand. It wasn’t easy as my eyes roamed over his tanned, firm chest before traveling to the tantalizing ridges of his abdomen. The light dusting of hair trailing down his belly and underneath the folded sheet had my entire body flushed with the heat of an uncontrollable desire. I knew it was wrong, but I just couldn’t compose myself. He was my every fantasy rolled up into one beautiful package, and what a package it was. I tried to block the unwanted thoughts from my head, but it was just too hard. I couldn’t stop imagining what was hidden beneath that blasted sheet.
Doing what I could to control my raging hormones, I grabbed the sponge and quickly finished washing his chest and arms. Once I was done rinsing him, I hurried down to his legs, placing fresh towels beneath him to help keep the bedding dry. After I’d finished washing him, I knew the time had come. The decision
hung in the air like a dark cloud of lust and indecision, and I knew what I had to do.
I dropped the sponge into the basin and headed for the door. As soon as I stepped out into the hall, I spotted the kind orderly from earlier. Trying not to draw the attention of the redheaded slut-bag, I whispered, “Excuse me. Can you help me for a minute?”
“Sure. Whatcha need?”
I motioned for him to follow me back into the room, and once he was inside, I stammered, “Umm… I need your help… washing his… you know...”
“Goods?”
“Yes.” I blushed, relieved he filled in the blank.
“No problem, honey.” Like it was no big deal, he chuckled and headed over to the bed. He grabbed the blankets and pulled them down his hips, exposing him. My eyes grew wide with shock when I noticed his massive erection.
“Umm… uhh… Is that normal?” I asked, pointing with embarrassment.
“Yes, sweetie. It happens. Nothing to worry about.”
My jaw dropped with wonder as I gawked at the size of him. Just like the rest of him, it was huge. A light bead of sweat trickled across my brow as I turned to watch the orderly reach for the sponge. As soon as he started washing him, I realized it was much worse than if I’d done it myself. Thankfully, it didn’t take him long to finish cleaning him. As soon as he was done, he dried him off and covered him back up. I was still staring at his midsection when the orderly asked, “Have you gotten to his back?”
“No. Not yet,” I answered as I fought to regain my composure.
“Mind giving me a hand?”
“What do you need me to do?”
“I’ll ease him over on his side while you give him a quick wipe down.”
“Sure. I can do that.” I reached for the sponge and smiled. “Ready when you are.”
With one hand on Seth’s shoulder and the other on his hip, he tilted him on his side. It was then that I saw something that yanked the rug from underneath me. In my wildest dreams, I would never have expected it. Just like his friends, he’d seemed like an average guy.
As soon as the orderly lowered him back onto the mattress, I dropped the sponge into the basin. He gave me a surprised look when I said, “I’ve got to go.”
I rushed towards the door, but stopped cold when I slammed face first into Jacob’s chest. He’d been sleeping in the waiting room while I sat with Seth, and it was clear by the expression on his face that he’d just woken up. After glancing over at the orderly, he looked down at me with confusion. “Are you okay? Is something wrong?”
“No. Everything’s fine. It’s just… I’ve got to go,” I stammered as I fled from the room.
My mind was racing a mile a minute. I tried to convince myself that there was no way I could’ve seen it coming. There was no cut. No ink. No motorcycles. He’d just been a nice guy standing up for what was right, but there he was with a club tattoo on his back. And not just any club: He was a member of the Satan’s Fury MC, one of the most notorious clubs in the entire state, and I never even had a clue. In that moment, everything changed. The fantasy was over. No matter how much I might have wanted him or wanted things to work out with him, it could never be. The brothers would never allow it, and I would only end up hurting Seth. I cared too much to let that happen. So, I had to walk away from my knight in shining armor. I had to protect him in the same way he’d tried to protect me.
It was quiet. Too damned quiet. I’d been waiting so long to hear her voice, but I heard nothing. There was no music. There was just a deafening silence that made me want to scream, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t move or open my eyes, but damn it, I missed her. I needed to hear her voice. I couldn’t take the waiting anymore. I fought with everything I had to break through the fog, and determination took over.
With one final push, I broke free.
The light stung my eyes, and I struggled to keep them open. Slowly, agonizingly, the room began to come into focus. My mouth was so dry, and my throat felt painfully raw. I finally noticed Clutch standing in the corner talking with Stitch, Smokey, and Cotton. It was immediately clear from their expressions that something was wrong. I tried to call out to them, but I only managed a strangled cough.
Noticing I was awake, Clutch and the others rushed over to me. He put his hand on my shoulder. “Well, welcome back, brother. We were beginning to think you were gonna pull that lazy shit forever.”
I tried to clear my throat, but again, I wasn’t able to speak.
Smokey looked concerned. “Take your time, brother. It’s okay.”
I tried again, but nothing. Seeing that I was struggling, Clutch poured me a cup of water. He placed the end of the straw in my mouth, and I managed to take a sip. The cold water stung as it traveled down the back of my throat, but I continued to drink, hoping it might eventually help. After several long sips, I rasped, “How long… have I been out?”
“It’s been over a week, dude. You’ve taken one hell of a nap there. How ya feeling?”
It took me several seconds to shake the haze hanging over me, but I finally managed to pull my head out of my ass. “What’s wrong?”
“What do you mean?” Smokey asked even though he knew exactly what I was talking about.
My head felt heavy as I glared at him. “The club…. What’s wrong? Tell me.”
Cotton interjected, “That’s nothing for you to worry about right now. You focus on resting.”
“I’ve rested enough, Pres.” I fixed my eyes on him. “Tell me what the fuck is going on.”
Stitch grumbled, “Just tell him. He ain’t gonna stop ‘til you do.”
They spent the new few minutes explaining that our shipment had been hijacked by a group of men driving black SUVs. They’d been wearing all black, right down to their ski masks and gloves, which had made it impossible to identify them. Even with Big’s help, they hadn’t gotten any leads. That was saying something, considering that Big could find out damned near anything. He was the club’s computer hacker, and if there was any intel to be found, he would be the man to find it.
As soon as Clutch had finished talking, I murmured, “Do you think Copper had anything to do with it?” Copper was one of our distributors, and at one time he’d just been a fill-in. We’d mostly dealt with Nitro to get our gun shipments, but after a fallout, we’d quit using him. Copper had come in when we’d needed him and picked up the slack.
Cotton shook his head. “Considering they killed him, I’d say no.”
Restlessness overcame me. I needed to get out of that goddamned bed and help my brothers find out who’d fucked with the club. “So, what’s the plan?”
“We’ve been in touch with our contacts, and we’re waiting to hear back. Once we find out who did it, we’ll take ‘em down.”
I threw the blankets off my legs and groaned as I pushed up, trying to get out of bed. Clutch shoved my shoulder, forcing me to lie back. “You’re not going anywhere, dumbass. You just woke up from a fucking coma. Are you out of your damned mind?”
“I’m not lying here anymore. I’m done lying here. I want out. Get my fucking clothes.”
Cotton chuckled as he shook his head. “Uh, no. I appreciate you wanting to help, but you’re no good to us like this.”
“But, Pres…”
“No ‘buts’. You’re gonna keep your stubborn ass in bed until the doctors release you. That’s final.” Cotton crossed his arms over his chest, and I knew there was nothing else I could say.
Clutch gave me a smirk. “Why don’t you explain what possessed you to leave in the middle of the goddamned night without giving us a heads up? We had no idea where you were.”
“Y’all were wiped, and I was still wired. Figured a beer would settle me down. I wasn’t thinking, and that’s on me.”
“Damn right it is. You don’t leave us hanging like that. Ever.”
“Understood. Won’t happen again.” I looked around the room at the monitors and tubes hooked into my veins. “I think I learned my lesson.”
“
Hope so, because the next time it’ll be your ass.”
“Those motherfuckers got you pretty good, and they’re gonna suffer the consequences,” Smokey assured me.
There was something about that night that was weighing on me. Something that I couldn’t remember. I knew it was important, but I couldn’t grasp the memory. It was just out of my reach. I could only remember her… those eyes piercing through me and the searing pain of my ribs breaking as the brass knuckles slammed into my side. It came to me in bits and pieces, but I knew there was something more than just the altercation. “So, what happened anyway?”
“You happened.” Clutch smirked. “You and your big damned mouth.”
“I vaguely remember that. There was a girl….”
“Oh yeah, there was definitely a girl. And apparently you made quite an impression on her. She’d been coming every day to see you, but we haven’t heard from her in a couple of days.”
“So, what do you think happened? Where is she? Is something wrong? Is she okay?”
“Hey, slow down there, brother. Like I said, I haven’t talked to her.”
“And you haven’t checked on her? You haven’t tried to see if she’s okay? What the fuck, man?”
Clutch threw his hands in the air. “What? This girl mean somethin’ to you? How the hell would you even know? You’ve been in a fucking coma! Come on, dude, think.”
“I am thinking. I’m thinking a girl that cares enough to come see about me and make sure I’m okay must be worth a fucking phone call, dick.”
“I think your brain must still be mush. Don’t call me ‘dick’ or I’ll throat punch you, motherfucker.” He chuckled. “I don’t care if you are laid up in the hospital with brain damage.”
“Fuck you. I don’t have brain damage.” I laughed. “I was taking a long nap. I just needed a break from you assholes.”
“Well, the break’s over, buttercup,” Stitch spat. He looked over at Clutch. “Better let the doctors know he’s awake.”
