by L. Wilder
I wanted to do something to help, but I was still playing catch up. I’d only been back home for a couple of days and was still feeling out of sorts. I was doing better; my wounds had healed, and I was on the road to full recovery. But I just wasn’t myself. I hadn’t completely shaken the fog I’d been under, and I still couldn’t remember everything that had happened that night—only bits and pieces. With vivid detail, I could recall everything that happened up to the moment I walked into the bar, but everything else was jumbled in my head. It didn’t help that I couldn’t sleep—not a fucking wink. Each night, I’d climb into bed beyond exhausted, but sleep never came. I just lay there staring at the damned ceiling. I tried everything from drinking to watching the fucking news, but nothing helped.
Tensions were running high as we started to dismiss from church. The brothers talked angrily amongst themselves as they dispersed throughout the clubhouse. None of us had been known for our patience, and all the unanswered questions only made us more on edge. I had no doubt we’d find out who had taken our shipment, and when we did, they’d pay. We’d make sure of it.
I needed some time to decompress and was about to head to my room when I heard a familiar song coming from the bar. I tried to remember where I’d heard it, but it wouldn’t come to me. I followed the sound into the bar and could feel the tension in my shoulders start to relax as I listened to the words. That tension quickly returned when I heard Maverick announce, “We’ve got company.”
I could tell by the tone of his voice that something was wrong. Maverick was our Sergeant at Arms, and he was calm and steady—until he wasn’t. When he got riled up, you didn’t want to get caught in the crossfire. When I noticed his expression, I could see that he wasn’t pleased about our guest’s arrival. Cotton’s eyebrows furrowed with concern as he asked, “Who’s here?”
“I told him to get lost, but Nitro wants a word with you.”
His face grew angry and cold. “He’s got nothing that I want to hear.”
While there had been a time when things were different, Cotton wasn’t a fan of Nitro. He’d trusted him to handle a situation with one of our girls, only to have him double-cross us in the end. It was complicated, and I had to admit that I understood Nitro’s reasoning for not bringing her back. She had been pretty screwed up from the whole kidnapping ordeal and needed help. He’d made sure she got it and anything else she might’ve needed. In the end, she had the final choice of whether to stay with him or come back to the clubhouse. It was clear they’d both gotten caught up in something no one really understood, and she ended up staying with him. Things had worked out for her, and she was happy with Nitro, but Cotton had expectations. Nitro didn’t meet those expectations and had to pay the consequences. Their business ties were severed, along with any form of friendship they might’ve had.
“I don’t know, Pres. He seems pretty adamant. He’s askin’ for five minutes. He said you’re gonna want to hear what he’s got to say.”
Cotton groaned with frustration. “I don’t have time for this bullshit. Tell him he’s got two minutes.”
Maverick nodded and left to get Nitro. I glanced around the room and noticed that most of the brothers had already gone. I was about to do the same when Cotton called out to me. “Stay put. Not sure if he’s up to somethin’. Keep your eyes open.”
“You got it,” I told him as I walked over to the bar.
I could feel the tension crackling around us as Maverick returned with Nitro at his side. With his typical cocky swagger, Nitro walked straight up to Cotton and smirked. “Hear you’ve fallen on tough times, brother.”
“And what would you know about it?” Cotton growled. Maverick crossed his arms as he glared at Nitro angrily. In a blink, Guardrail appeared, along with Stitch, Smokey, and Big. Like a group of bodyguards, they stood behind Cotton and listened intently as Nitro spoke.
“I know you got a shipment swiped right out from underneath you. A big one. And you’ve got no idea who did it, do ya?”
“Again, what the fuck do you know about it?”
He cocked his eyebrow. “I know a thing or two. I might be willing to share that information with you… but it comes at a price.”
“Not interested in playing games with you, Nitro. If you’ve got something to say, say it. Your time’s running out.”
“Let’s just say that if I share this bit of information I have with you, then this rift we have between us… ends today.”
“You’re out of your fuckin’ mind. There’s nothin you could tell me—”
Nitro lifted his hand to interrupt. “Hold up. You don’t know what kind of information I’ve got, Cotton. Besides, you and I both know things worked out exactly the way they were meant to with Tristen. I know I fucked up by not coming to you first, but she’s in a good place now. She’s happy. My actions with her shouldn’t have completely severed our ties. We had a good thing going, and we can again. That’s why I’m here. I know who has your shipment.”
“Who?”
Nitro shook his head. “Not until you say the word. Will this set us right?”
“No, but it’ll be a start. Now tell me what you know.”
“The Chosen Knights contacted me earlier today.”
As soon as he said the words, I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. The memories of that night came flooding back. Everything they’d said and everything they’d done hit me all at once. I remembered one of them saying, “We go in with no bikes and no colors. Keep our mouths shut, and they’ll never even know it was us.” I was suddenly overcome with guilt. It was my fault—all of it. If I hadn’t gotten tangled up with that asshole, I would’ve been able to warn them about what was coming, and none of it would’ve happened.
I was about to tell Cotton what I’d remembered when Nitro continued. “The Brothers heard we were on the outs and figured I’d like a chance to stick it to you. I could’ve made a pretty penny, but here I stand. I’ve got your back, brother. Always have.”
“Fuck.” Cotton clenched his fists at his side. “I’ll end those motherfuckers.”
“I need to know how you want to play this.”
“For now, play along. Tell them you want to make a deal, and we’ll figure out where to go from here. Just buy us some time.”
He nodded. “You got it. And I still have your last shipment on hold. If you need it, it’s yours.”
A strange look crossed Cotton’s face. Nitro had caught him by surprise, and that just didn’t happen—not with Cotton. “I’m not one for second chances, and I certainly don’t forgive easily.”
Nitro chuckled under his breath. “Does this mean we’re good?”
Cotton extended his hand out to Nitro. “We’re good, but fuck with me again…”
A smile spread across his face as Nitro shook his hand. “Glad we could come to an understanding.” He turned, and as he started to leave, he gave Big a nod. The two of them were close once, and I wasn’t surprised to see a look of relief on Big’s face. As he walked through the door, he shouted, “I’ll be in touch.”
Once he was gone, Cotton and the others walked over to the bar. Each of them grabbed a beer before sitting down next to me. They started to talk amongst themselves, and while I knew I needed to tell Cotton what I remembered, I didn’t know how to tell him. For the first time in maybe my entire life, I was at a loss for words. Finally, I blurted, “They were trying to teach us a lesson.”
Cotton turned to me and asked, “Who?”
“The Chosen. They were fed up with us coming into their territory and took the shipment to teach us a lesson.”
“And how do you know that?”
“I heard them talking when I was at the bar. I’d forgotten all about it until I heard Nitro talking.”
“You heard them talking about it, and you didn’t think to tell someone?” Cotton growled.
“I was on my way back to the room when—”
“When you opened your goddamned mouth and almost got yourself killed!”
/>
A part of me knew he was right, but when I thought back to that moment, when I thought of her pinned against that wall with that asshole’s grubby hands pawing at her, I couldn’t keep my damned mouth shut. “I didn’t have a choice!”
“You’re fucking kidding me, right? We’ve been going crazy trying to find these motherfuckers for the past two weeks, and you didn’t have a fucking choice!”
“He was hurting her!” I couldn’t put into words how I’d felt in that moment. None of them would understand that jolt of electricity that shot through me when she looked at me with those beautiful hazel eyes. I didn’t understand it myself. “There was no way in hell I was walking away from her… not like that.”
Guardrail reached for his beer. “I’d have done the same thing, Two Bit.” Cotton’s head slowly turned and looked down at his VP, and I thought he’d come unhinged when Guardrail shrugged. “Well, I would’ve, and so would you, brother. So, don’t give me no shit about it. Two Bit did what he had to do. He got his ass kicked pretty damned good and knew it was coming with all those dickheads around. He wouldn’t have done it if it didn’t mean something to him.”
The room fell silent as they all turned and looked at me. What Guardrail had said was true. It did mean something to me, and even if I did get my ass kicked, it was worth it. “I’m sorry I let the club down, but I’m not sorry for trying to help her. And honestly, I’d do it again.”
Cotton shook his head as he ran his hand roughly down his face. “What else do you remember about that night? Did they say anything that we can use?”
“They didn’t want to be found out. I heard one of them say they were going in with no bikes and no colors. I’m guessing they weren’t looking for a war they knew they couldn’t win.”
“A war is what they’re damned well gonna get!” Cotton roared. “First, they beat one of my boys to within an inch of his life, and then they have the fucking nerve to steal from me. They’ve gotta be out of their goddamned minds if they think they won’t pay for that shit!”
“Those greedy motherfuckers got cocky. Thought they could fuck with us, and just keep on trucking. That shit ain’t gonna happen. We need to cut them off at the knees,” Smokey snarled.
“Smoke’s right. I want eyes on them. I want to know their every fucking move. I want to know where their money’s coming from. Every fucking dime of it,” Cotton demanded. “We’ll take the one thing they thrive for right out of their grubby fucking hands.”
Clutch leaned forward as he let out a deep breath. “I have an idea, but I don’t think he’s gonna like it.”
“Who?”
“Two Bit.” He looked at me apprehensively as he continued, “For that kind of surveillance, we need eyes on the inside.”
“Yeah. And?”
“I think I know who could help us out.”
I knew right away who he had in mind and growled, “You’re fucking kidding, right?”
“Who are we talking about?” Cotton questioned.
“Zoe. The chick who got Two Bit to the hospital,” Clutch explained.
“What makes you think she’d be willing to help us?” Smokey asked.
“Lucky was her father. She’s pretty broken up about how things have turned out with the club, and she made it pretty clear that she wanted things to change.”
“That doesn’t mean she’s up for being a traitor.”
“I’m not saying she is, but she might be able to help us out.” Clutch looked back towards me. “I think it’s time for you to have a chat with her.”
I thought back to the text messages she’d sent and how set she was on not coming to see me at the hospital. “I’m not so sure she’ll see me.”
“She’ll see ya. She just needs a little push.”
“That’s it! I can’t take it anymore,” Kat snapped as she tossed her dishrag in the sink. “Just tell me already.”
“Tell you what?”
“What’s crawled up your ass? You’ve been in a funk for the past three days, and it’s starting to make me crazy.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Kat. I’m fine,” I lied.
I didn’t know why I tried to hide it from her. She knew me better than anyone, even better than I knew myself, but there was nothing she could do to help me—not with this. I was stuck, and there was nothing either of us could do about it.
She put her hands on her hips and stared at me with her eyebrow cocked high. “Oh, no, Miss Sour Puss! You’re not fine. You are far from fine. In fact, you’re acting like it’s doomsday or something. So, just tell me what the hell is wrong, and we’ll figure out what to do about it.”
“That’s just it. There’s nothing we can do about it, Kat.”
“Okay… so you’re admitting something’s wrong. That’s the first step. Now just tell me what the hell is going on.”
I sighed heavily as I slumped back on the sofa and stared at the ceiling. “It’s just that my life is over. I have nothing to live for. I might as well crawl into a hole and die. That’s all.”
“Dramatic much?” she teased. “Come on. Enough of the theatrics. Just tell me what’s wrong already.”
“Well, if you must know. It turns out I’ve gotta hook up with Slider or I’m out on the street. Or even better, I can start stripping for the club. Get up on that stage and shake what my momma gave me. That sounds pretty awesome, doesn’t it?” I laughed sarcastically. “So, yeah… my life is over.”
“Um, where is all this coming from? What makes you think you’ve got to hook up with Slider?”
“He told me the other night when he came into my office looking for a piece of ass. After I gave him a bloody nose, he laid it all out and told me things were about to change.”
As she sat down next to me, she waved me off and shook her head. “Pfft. He’s full of shit. You can’t listen to anything he says, but hey… good job with the ass kicking.”
“Thanks, but it’s not just him. I went to talk to Tank.”
Thinking back on our conversation made my stomach turn. There was a time when Tank was one of my father’s closest friends. He was always there when my father needed him, and we both trusted him. When I’d gone to talk to him about Slider, I thought he’d have my back and tell me that Slider had lost his damned mind. Unfortunately, that’s not the response I got.
His face was completely void of expression as he listened to me tell him about my conversation with Slider.
“He said being his old lady was my only option.”
“And?”
“And he’s full of shit, right?”
“No.” He crossed his arms and looked at me with anger. “As a matter of fact, he’s not.”
The wind rushed from my lungs. “What are you saying, Tank?”
“It’s just like he said. Either become his old lady, or your time with the club is over. I’m done taking care of another man’s problem.”
“So, my father…?”
“Your father is dead. It’s time to move on from that shit. I have. Hell, we all have. It’s time for you to do the same,” he growled. “Slider isn’t going to wait long, so you better make up your fucking mind, or we’ll make the decision for you.”
I left there feeling like all hope was gone, and since then, I hadn’t been able to think of anything else.
I looked at her and shrugged. “I thought he’d have my back, but he ended up saying the same thing Slider said. I lost my tie to the club when Daddy died.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. There would be no club if it wasn’t for your dad.”
“Tank doesn’t seem to feel that way. I guess none of them do.”
“So, what does all this mean?”
“I use Dad’s portion of the club’s money to pay for my classes and my rent. Without it, I’ll have to drop out of school, and…”
“You are not moving out!” she screeched.
“I don’t have a choice, Kat. If I want the club to keep helping me, then I’ve gotta get with Slid
er.”
Unlike me, Kat didn’t have the same concerns. Her father, Hawk, wasn’t only a member; he was an officer in the club. There was a time when I thought he was a good man, but over the years, he’d changed. Like the others, he’d become obsessed with money, booze, and women. Even though her father was a complete asshole, Kat had her in with the club. She didn’t have to worry about money or any of the brothers giving her a hard time. To do her part, she worked the bar at the club, and she was set. I didn’t have that luxury and was terrified I might have to go along with Slider’s ridiculous proposal, especially with my suspicions of him having something to do with my father’s death. “I’d rather use a sandpaper dildo than screw around with Slider’s dirty ass.”
“Well, he’s not that bad…”
“Oh, so you’d screw him?”
“Whoa, now. I didn’t say that… but it could be worse. You could have to tie up with Shit Stain!” she cackled.
Despite my dismal mood, I couldn’t help but laugh. Shit Stain was our pet name for one of the older members who’d had an accident of sorts one night when he was wasted. He gave new meaning to “sharted”. Since that night, using his pet name had been our running joke. “Well, I guess that’s something.”
“There has to be something we can do.”
“I could join a nunnery,” I grumbled.
“Umm, no. We are two fairly intelligent, devastatingly beautiful individuals. Surely, we can come up with something,” she teased. She drummed her fingertips together for several seconds while she thought. “Hmm… you keep the books at Nudie’s, right?”
