by L. Penelope
I’d had it all prepared and thought it would be a wonderfully romantic afternoon, but it ended disastrously when the ram took great offense to us being in his territory and charged.
“You remember! Vivian.” I pull her closer and squeeze her. She lets out a pained moan until I loosen my grip. The effect of the alcohol has turned her normally bright eyes cloudy. She looks up at me dreamily.
“I was different then. But you were the same. Caleb.” My name passes her lips with reverence, and the haze in her eyes clears momentarily. The memories from her old life are slipping back. I see the moment she remembers my death. Our deaths. Her face crumples, and she’s close to tears.
“You left me,” she whispers.
“I didn’t want to, you know that. But I’ve found you again.”
I can’t have this conversation lying in a wobbly hammock. I wrap her in my arms and stand us up, then carry her to the grass so we can sit face to face. Her eyes are still unfocused and dazed. I wish she were sober, but maybe then she wouldn’t have remembered.
“Do you recall what I asked you? Before we died?” She lazily traces the shape of my face with a fingertip, drawing small circles across my cheeks and nose. The feeling is like a fly buzzing around my face. It makes me anxious. I pull her hand into mine.
“I was able to escape the Wasteland and find you. Will you bind with me?”
She shifts over to sit beside me and rests her head on my shoulder. “You still want to take my soul.”
“No, no, never that. If you share it with me, out of love, then we can be together. No one will be able to take me away from you. We’ll have this life and the next, all of them, until our soul finds its place in Euphoria. You wouldn’t have to give up yourself at all.”
“I’d be damned.” It’s a whisper, an echo of her former fears. She reaches for the cross around her neck and rubs it between her fingers.
“No, you wouldn’t. You wouldn’t be harmed or endangered. You wouldn’t lose anything. You would just save me.”
Her breath tickles my cheek as she leans into me.
“Genna, please. Will you save me?”
I crane my neck to view her face. Her eyes are dull and glassy. I caress her cheek, and she leans into my palm. She lays a finger on my lips, and her lids fall shut sluggishly. Her head rocks back and forth.
“Reverend says damnation awaits those who don’t protect their souls. Beware of demons in angels’ clothing.”
I drop my head into my hand. She still doesn’t believe me. I would blame it on her drunkenness, but I know full well that isn’t the cause. She made the same arguments a lifetime ago.
“Did you ever love me, Viv? Even a little bit?” I say to my shoes and the cold earth beneath them.
“My very own angel. I wanted to save you. Save … your soul.” Her voice is different, deeper, more musical. It’s Viv’s voice coming from Genna’s body. But when I look up, it’s just Genna, brown skin, soft curling locks. Her eyes are far away, but whatever that was, the intersection of two lifetimes, it’s gone now. I want to tell her I’m not an angel, but she blinks slowly then lets out a loud burp.
“I think I’m going to be sick.”
I help her up and lead her to the bushes. Hold back her hair as she vomits. Ensure she misses both her shoes and mine in the process. Inside, I’m just as sick as she is.
I take her back to her dormitory and stand in the hallway outside her door, feeling helpless. That was it, my last chance. Genna remembered everything — granted, it had only been for a few moments in an inebriated stupor, but she’d remembered, and it hadn’t made a whit of difference.
I’d met my one in two lifetimes. I’d gambled on humanity and lost.
Now the thoughts of Maia and Helix will not abate. Guilt overwhelms me and something more … jealousy. Like anger, it’s a malignancy, crushing everything else and taking over. Before the Vultures show up to sentence me back to eternity in the Wasteland, I have to help Maia — I just hope I’m not too late.
Chapter Thirteen
“WHY DID YOU TELL HIM?” The question is out of my mouth before I consider the implications.
We’re in the car that Helix has somehow acquired. It’s a bright-red convertible so fancy and expensive, I don’t even recognize the emblem on the hood.
“The halfling? He’s a fool. Not worthy of any further thought on your part.”
I stare at him in confusion. “What are you talking about? He’s completely selfless and giving, probably the best person — or whatever — I’ve ever met. I’m just trying to keep it together most days.” My teeth chatter a bit as I rub my bare arms. The top is down, and the raw air bites my skin. “You all don’t get cold?”
He gives me a look that is part censure, part disappointment and pushes the button to raise the top. Once it’s firmly in place and my limbs have stopped vibrating from cold, I thank him.
My mind skitters around, trying to think of anything other than what we’re about to do. But Caleb’s face comes back to me again and again — the expression he wore when he came back from the roof. I’d told myself I wouldn’t look at him, but he was practically a magnet for my eyes. One glance at his face had rattled me to the core. I’d never seen him so intense.
Helix pulls into a parking spot on a quiet side street a few minutes from campus.
“You don’t give yourself enough credit. It’s a very bad trait. Very human.”
“I am human,” I grumble.
He gets out of the car and crosses over to open the door for me. Regardless of everything else, Helix is unfailingly polite. But all the manners in the world mean nothing when faced with what we’re here for. What I agreed to.
The neighborhood is posh and fits with the car. He leads me up the front stairs of a brick row house. The front door is frosted glass embedded in highly polished wood and looks expensive. Whose house is this, and what did Helix say to get it? I wonder what it feels like to be charmed, to lose your will to someone else’s for a little while. The thought causes tendrils of unease to snake down my spine.
Helix unlocks the front door and we step into a tiny vestibule. Before the outer door falls shut, it’s pushed back open with a slam.
Caleb stands there, breathing hard, sweat shining on his skin. I step back in shock, not sure how he found us.
“What are you doing here?” My voice shakes with confusion, hope, dread.
His gaze locks me in place and then slides to Helix, who stands a step above me on the threshold of the inner door, his customary smirk in place. Helix tilts his head in that inhuman, assessing way of his and crosses his arms, appearing infinitely amused.
“Maia,” Caleb says through clenched teeth.
“Where’s Genna?”
“You don’t have to do this.”
I look at Helix, then back to Caleb, and shake my head. “I made a deal. It’s … fine. You don’t want him to turn you in, do you?”
“If it means you debasing yourself for him, then there’s another way.”
“Debase myself? It’s just sex. It doesn’t matter.” Those words have been on repeat in my head, over and over, but have yet to sink in. I hope I at least sound convincing.
A thought stops the internal chanting. “Unless… Did she bind with you?” Hope sparks, unwanted, deep within me.
His face falls, and I know the answer. A sliver of relief accompanies the disappointment. “You shouldn’t be here. She’ll come around; you still have time.”
He shakes his head. “She remembers me. She remembers before, and she still won’t bind.” His jaw is tense, his entire body held rigid. “It’s already too late for me.”
“No. Why?” I can’t comprehend a sweet girl like Genna not rushing to save Caleb.
“She still believes her soul would be in jeopardy. She doesn’t trust me. I guess she never really did.”
“But you can convince her. You have to. There are no other options?”
Caleb’s head sinks into his hands. He rakes finger
s across his scalp. “That was it, my chance. So Maia, please don’t. Not this. Not with him. Not for me.”
Helix regards this all with an expression close to delight.
“There’s no chance that maybe you have another soul mate?” I say it so quietly, I almost hope he doesn’t hear.
Caleb’s eyes are downcast; he seems to understand my meaning. He drags his head from side to side, confirming what I already know. Ultimately, the universe is cruel.
Helix steps forward, closer to Caleb in the tiny space. “Well then, halfling, perhaps you’d better be getting your affairs in order. Your time is short.”
Caleb draws himself up to his full height — he stands nose to nose with the angel. “Maia is coming with me.”
“I don’t think so. A deal is a deal, as they say here. You don’t want the Vultures coming for you, do you?”
“Maia,” Caleb grits out, eyes still locked on the angel.
“I can’t. There’s still time, and she might change her mind. I can’t let them take you without doing everything I can to help.”
I brush his arm, and he rips his stare away from Helix to me. “It doesn’t matter,” I say.
“It matters to me.”
He steps around Helix to cradle my face in his hands and presses his lips to mine. I go boneless. The breath leaves my body as I fall into his kiss. His lips thrill my mouth. A cold tingle like the light sting of mint buzzes through me. I tilt my head, opening my mouth on a gasp, and then his tongue sneaks inside, staking claim.
My trembling arms fold around him; I’m not even sure this is real. I feel weightless, like my feet aren’t touching the ground. My eyes open, proving me right. Caleb holds me to his chest as we float high above the street. I blink as the ground moves farther away. I can only process one amazing thing at a time, and given the choice between flying and kissing him, I choose the latter. I close in on his lips again, unable to stay away.
I swear I can feel his heartbeat racing through his chest in time with my own. Sparks fly from his mouth to mine. I’m lit up with longing as they ignite a fireworks display inside me. I pull away to take a breath.
“Do you need to see where you’re going?”
He shakes his head and pulls my head down to rest on his shoulder.
“Maia.” I love the way he says my name, like a prayer. Like it’s something truly special.
Before I know it, the dorm is in front of us. He leads me to an open window on the top floor and sets me inside. I jump down with him behind me.
“This is where you’ve been staying?” The double room is mostly empty. One bed is made neatly, but there are no other belongings in evidence. Then I’m spun around and pulled tight to his hard body. Our lips converge again. My thoughts scatter. His hands thread through my hair and his tongue explores me, still tentative, but slow and thorough. Each swipe and stroke sets off a chain reaction inside me. Stars shoot behind my eyes, and I want to wrap myself around him. Climb inside him.
A raucous scream outside startles me. A group of drunken students wails somewhere below. Caleb’s eyes are on me, chest heaving with each breath as he regards me.
“What?” I say, feeling self-conscious.
He shakes his head, running a hand across his head. Instead of answering, he turns to close the window, then leans with his back against it.
Guilt settles over me, cooling the fire that was ablaze a moment earlier. No matter what this feeling is between us, it doesn’t change the fact that Genna is his true soul mate, and there must be some hope left for her to change her mind.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
His gaze sharpens. “For what?”
The room is chilly; the heat must not be turned on up here. “Everything. You should be with her, not me.”
He takes a step closer to me, and then another. His hands skim my bare arms, warming me. “The only place I want to be is right here. The only face I see when I close my eyes is yours. What time I have left, I want to spend with you.”
His voice is solemn with sincerity. The feel of his skin on mine is a balm, soothing my anxiety and drawing me closer to him. Tears prick my eyes. They’re traitors, falling against my wishes, but Caleb wipes them away, his look of tender concern sealing my heart to his.
I wanted to save him, so badly, even if it meant he would be someone else’s. I never thought he’d be mine, even for a short time. Even for a night. But the idea sends thrills through me, making me shiver even more, but not from the cold.
I bring my hand to rest on his chest, feeling the smooth planes of muscle there, then grip his shirt and drag myself closer. Our lips are only a breath apart. I linger there on the edge of the kiss, drawing out the anticipation, trying to make time slow down.
He’s impatient. His mouth reaches mine, ending the self-imposed torture. The kiss starts slowly, sensually, but there’s a desperation within me that I’ve never felt before. An insistent need to grab hold of this chance with both hands before it slips through my fingers. I’ve never imagined passion, never even considered I could want someone so badly that my legs would shake and my breathing stutter.
I attack him, wrapping myself around him, trying to merge our bodies together. He meets the challenge. Patient, gentle Caleb lets loose something within himself, and suddenly his hands are everywhere. He squeezes my back, my ass, my thighs — his hands leave a trail of vibrating flesh in their wake.
We fall onto the bed with me on top and I’m pulling at his clothes, wanting to feel his skin on mine. His shirt comes off. My fingers roam his chest, followed by my lips. His skin is soft and hard and he tastes the way he smells. I press my nose into his sternum and inhale.
“Do I smell all right?” he asks, a smile in his voice.
“You smell delicious,” I say, crawling back up to find his lips again. “Is this okay?”
“Does it not seem okay?” He’s breathless and heaving, just like me.
“Yeah, I just — I wasn’t sure if you’d ever…”
His palm cups my face and he turns us so we’re both on our sides. “If I’ve ever done this before?”
My face heats. “You don’t have to — It’s not any of my business — ”
“No, I haven’t.” He strokes my cheek, and I close my eyes and lean in to the sensation. Our legs are intertwined, and our chests rise and fall in unison. “I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”
“I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with.” I lean back and grab for the hem of the dress, pulling it up my body. “I wouldn’t want to do anything to corrupt you.”
His gaze is locked on my black, lacy underwear as I toss the dress away. He stares for so long that I have to kiss him to get his attention, not that I mind his reaction at all.
“Corrupt away. Please,” he murmurs against my lips.
Is this what normal is like? Caleb makes me feel sexy, without the skeevy undertones of Helix’s leer. But most of all, he makes me feel special. He wants to be with me, for reasons I don’t entirely understand. I may not be his soul mate, but I’m his choice. In this moment, that is enough.
Strong hands slide up my thighs, fingers slip under the lace of my panties. With a firm grip on my hips, Caleb pulls me tighter against his erection. I feel his hardness through his jeans and suck in a breath.
There are still too many clothes between us, so I go for his belt buckle. I can’t quite manage it with my good hand, so he intervenes. He slides his pants off, revealing sexy black boxer briefs, tented impressively at the front. I unclasp my bra, and his eyes roam hungrily over my body. My eyes flutter closed as his hands cup my breasts.
His thumbs stroke me gently, too gently. I cover his hand with mine and squeeze, then moan as pleasure ripples through me. His mouth covers the dark bud of my nipple, and I press myself against him as he laps at me. I’m aching for him quite literally while his fingers and tongue play a symphony on my breasts. I slide a finger into the elastic of his underwear, then pull down
the fabric, allowing his erection to pop free. Taking him in hand, I apply a gentle pressure, then not so gentle, and monitor his reaction.
This is as new for me as it is for him, enjoying someone’s touch, being so securely intimate. He gasps and kneads me harder, now leaning his back to the mattress, a look of intense concentration on his face. I enjoy the feel of him in my hand, the velvety skin and the way he reacts to my touch — hissing in a breath when I apply more pressure. But I really want him inside me.
There’s a condom in the tiny pocket of my dress. Since angels seem to have no problem making babies with humans, I’d come prepared in case Helix hadn’t thought of it. I certainly didn’t need a little version of him running around.
A little version of Caleb, however… I brush off the idea and reach for the foil packet. Caleb plucks it from my fingers and sheaths himself. Then I straddle his body, placing him at my entrance.
His eyes open as I lower myself onto him. Our gazes lock, and the intensity overwhelms me. We’re a tight fit, and my body hums in anticipation of having him all the way inside me. When he’s seated completely, his hands circle my waist and hold me in place, giving me time to adjust to the invasion. With a little upward pulse of his pelvis, he urges me to move. I give him what he wants and slide into the rocking dance of riding him. I roll my hips, the undulation creating a delicious friction. He raises his knees and I lean against his thighs, the change of position enough that he’s now hitting a very specific place inside me.
He pumps faster, and I speed to meet him. We’re lost in each other, moving quickly in and out, and soon his angel powers must kick in because before I know it I’m on my back and Caleb’s on top, pistoning into me with abandon. His bottom half is nearly a blur — it’s almost like having a human vibrator. I’m purring inside from the force of him. I clench the sheets to try and ground myself, but nothing could prepare me for this feeling. He’s so fast, so strong, that when I fly apart, my scream is so loud I’m sure they can hear it throughout the entire building. He tenses, his body held completely rigid before he lets out a gasp that fills me with satisfaction and collapses on top of me.
