by CJ Morrow
No it’s Tuesday, Ella replied. She wondered if it was a quiz, but Gwynnie’s reply soon told her otherwise.
That’s what I thought. So why are you wearing pink?
What. Was the woman serious? They sat three feet apart, they faced each other and they were having this stupid conversation via email. Ella didn’t even bother to reply. How dare that Barbie doll dictate what Ella wore? Especially when that Barbie doll wore pink most days herself.
Gwynnie got up to go to the printer, Ella watched her strut across the office. Today Gwynnie wasn’t wearing pink. Typical.
Ella watched while Gwynnie came back with several sheets of paper in her hand and plonked herself back down at her desk. She didn’t look at Ella, didn’t say a word.
Right, that’s it. Ella grabbed her purse and got up, but just before she left she opened her drawer an inch, the drawer with the smelly dog rag in it and she left it open.
Ella could see Sam through the HR office door; she had her head down and was typing furiously. Ella slipped in unnoticed and said a quiet hello but Sam didn’t acknowledge her straight away.
‘Oh Ella. Hi. Have you been there long?’
‘No. Not really. Have you got time for a quick coffee?’
Sam shook her head without even considering it. ‘No. Sorry. Bit up against it this morning.’ She turned her attention back to her work.
‘Okay.’ Ella felt deflated. ‘What about lunch?’
‘Can I email you about lunch?’ Sam said without even looking up.
‘Okay. See you later.’
She went down to the staff restaurant and queued up at the coffee machine with a surprisingly large number of people who were also not at their desks. She chose a large, blueberry muffin.
She found herself a quiet table by the window, sipped her coffee and picked at the muffin. It was raining again and she watched the rivulets running down the glass making grubby trails on their way to the ground. That’s what my life’s like, Ella thought – grubby trails.
What the hell was she doing with her life? And what the hell should she do with it? Spring Cottage reared its ugly head again. If she was honest Spring Cottage occupied her thoughts far too frequently and she spent a lot of time trying to push it out. One minute she was almost homeless – she didn’t consider the grotty bedsit a home – next minute she owned a four-bedroomed cottage. The thought of the cottage made her shudder. The enormity of the work just to make it habitable scared her witless. If she was part of a couple like Sam and Charlie it might be an easier decision just to take it on and do the work. But on her own. No. Oh grow up, Ella, a little voice in her head said.
Was she on her own? She thought of Hal. She smiled. He was hot, no doubt about that, and he had a bit of experience with property. What had he said? Oh yes, he had a couple of rental properties so knew a bit about renovation. And he had offered to help; he had definitely said he would help. Maybe, she thought, maybe it’s possible. She imagined herself in the cottage with Hal by her side, each holding paintbrushes, dabs of white paint on their faces, laughter in their eyes. Hal in overalls, just overalls, unbuttoned to the waist because painting was hot work. Him grabbing her, pulling her to him. She heard herself sigh.
‘You all right?’ Ben sat down at her table. ‘That bloody woman is mental; she’s called another emergency team meeting this afternoon.’
‘Oh. Hi. Yeah. I’m fine. Thanks.’ Ella was suddenly back in the staff restaurant, back to reality. ‘It’s probably about me wearing pink today.’
Ben laughed, leaned over and patted Ella on the arm. ‘We did enjoy that. Well done. You didn’t see her face when you took your coat off; you had your back to her. If looks could kill. It was so funny. You certainly know how to wind her up.’
‘I didn’t do it on purpose.’
Ben creased his brow and wrinkled his nose.
‘Really. I didn’t. I woke up late and grabbed the first thing I saw in my wardrobe. I think Sam bought me this.’ Ella brushed the sleeve of her jumper. ‘And I don’t think I’ve ever worn it before, in fact I’d forgotten I even had it. And I certainly didn’t wear it deliberately.’
‘Well, either way, it was priceless.’
‘For you maybe.’ Ella stood up and scraped her chair back across the floor. Ben winced.
Back at her desk she closed the stinky drawer before sitting down. She hoped they’d savoured the smell. There were several emails waiting for her, among them one from Sam. Ella ignored the others and opened it. Sorry, can’t make lunch today; have to go into town with Sally. Catch you later. No point you coming, no time to talk. xxx
Great. Sally was Sam’s boss; Ella wondered what that was about. She didn’t even bother answering.
She didn’t speak to anyone for the rest of the morning, just got on with her work, went to the drinks machine at the end of the corridor several times, and, belatedly, accepted Gwynnie’s invitation to the meeting, via email. At lunchtime she grabbed a sandwich from the restaurant then went and sat in her car to eat it. At least she could have the radio on; at least she wouldn’t have to speak to anyone.
The rain had stopped and the sun came out and it was lovely in the car on her own. She closed her eyes and thought of Hal. Tall and muscular and hot. She liked his clothes too – elegant, expensive. She compared him to Nathan, no comparison. Nathan had grungy long hair and wore black denim; Hal had precision cut hair and wore classy suits, jackets, leather brogues. Nathan wore brown workman boots.
She shook her head and got Nathan out of it. Why was that snake creeping in anyway? Now Hal, he was something else. He was a gentleman; he knew how to behave. He would never sing a vile song about her in public.
Spring Cottage – it popped to the front of her mind. Again. She pushed it back, but this time it didn’t feel quite so daunting.
Back at her desk, calmed and rested after her car break she got on with her work. An email from Tiffy popped up. I need an update on the Eldorite project before the meeting. No please; no thank you. It seemed that tone of email was catching. So Ella replied: All is fine, just as it was yesterday at 4.30pm when I last updated you. She watched as Tiffy opened it and blinked, but she didn’t say anything and she didn’t email back. Excellent, thought Ella. That’s just how I like it.
They piled into the meeting room yet again and everyone sat in the same seats they seemed always to sit in now. Unspoken allocation.
How very different this was from Don’s day. He only called team meetings if there was a major problem. He called them shit’s hit the fan meetings. He may not have been much of a manager but he did believe that everyone could just get on with their jobs and speak up if they had a problem. Ella found herself almost wishing he was back. She thought wistfully of the many times she had wished he would leave. Be careful what you wish for.
‘Thank you all for coming,’ Gwynnie began, as though they had a choice. ‘Before we start I just want to remind everyone that Friday is Pink Day.’ Gwynnie’s eyes drifted in Ella’s direction. Ella looked away. She wasn’t going to be dragged into an argument; it just wasn’t worth it. But it seemed that Gwynnie wasn’t going to leave it there. ‘I know that some of you don’t fully understand the relevance of creative initiatives like Pink Day and Think Day, but they really do focus our attention on our creativity; they help us to see things differently and this helps us to be more creative about how we approach our work and our work ethic and our colleagues.’ Another dirty look in Ella’s direction. ‘Oh, and Ella, I’m still waiting for your Smile Day proposal.’
Ella nodded but did not speak. No one spoke. Ben bit his lip, and Kevin focused on a pencil he was rolling slowly on the table.
‘Hear, hear,’ said Tiffy, filling the air space. She gave the room a bright smile and pulled up her shoulders, puffed out her chest.
‘Thank you, Tiffy.’ Gwynnie waited for a moment, smiling around the room, apparently hoping for further affirmations. They didn’t come.
‘Excellent,’ Gwynnie said, as though s
omeone had said something positive. ‘Ben, how’s your part of the Eldorite project progressing?’
‘Yes. Good. We’re just about keeping up with Ella, getting the lines on once she’s approved them.’ He nodded sneakily at Ella.
‘Thank you,’ Ella mouthed back silently.
‘Kevin, are you enjoying the work?’ Gwynnie stared at the pencil between Kevin’s fingers.
‘Yes, thank you,’ Kevin muttered to the pencil.
‘Very good. Tiffy?’ Gwynnie’s head tilted to one side.
‘Everything is fine and on schedule.’ Tiffy said, puffing herself up again.
‘That’s very good. Now then, I called this meeting not just to…’
‘Excuse me,’ Ella interrupted.
‘Yes?’
‘What about my update?’
‘Tiffy’s the controller for the project and she’s given your update for you.’
‘Not really.’
‘Oh. Didn’t Tiffy ask you for an update?’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, did you update her?’
‘Yes, but only generally. Everything is fine, but I do have a couple of problems with two lines and now would be a good time to discuss those.’
‘No, it wouldn’t.’ Gwynnie looked at Ella and seemed to dare her to answer back. ‘I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that Tiffy is the controller. You can have a chat about the troubling lines outside the meeting. Now back to what I was saying. We have another fantastic project, which Tiffy here,’ Gwynnie turned round and patted Tiffy on the shoulder, ‘has agreed to control again. I think that’s great news because she’s doing such a good job on the Eldorite project.’
‘No she isn’t.’ Ella’s voice cut through the air.
Ben and Kevin looked down at the table.
Tiffy blinked several times; her mouth opened and closed.
Gwynnie’s mouth opened then closed too.
‘Well, she isn’t doing anything. I do all the work checking the lines and Ben and Kevin put them on the inventory. I don’t know what else there is to do but whatever it is, Tiffy isn’t doing it. She doesn’t understand the work. Do you Tiffy?’ Ella turned to Tiffy whose face had now pinked up and red blotches were appearing on her neck.
‘How dare you speak like that to your colleague, your superior, in fact.’ Gwynnie’s voice climbed an octave as she spoke.
‘Okay then, Tiffy. Tell us about the project. Tell us where we are. If you’re the controller you know everything. That’s right, isn’t it?’ Oh shit Ella, a voice said in her head. You’ve gone too far. You shouldn’t have started this.
‘Tiffy doesn’t have to explain herself to you. How dare you try to humiliate her. I think you’ve said enough. But if you apologise now, and Tiffy accepts it, I think we can move on.’
‘I’m not apologising. It’s the truth. And, while we’re at it, I don’t know what you do either.’
‘I manage. That’s what I do.’
‘Manage what? Pink Day and Think Day. Ha.’ Oh dear, Ella knew this was the end. Knew there was no going back, so she might as well go for it. She knew she’d regret it later but the feeling of getting all these weeks of frustration off her chest was so good, so liberating it was intoxicating.
‘How dare you,’ Gwynnie began, but Ella cut across her.
‘You’re making our department a laughing stock. Pink Day, for God’s sake what is that about? Are you mad?’
‘It helps our creativity. And you seem hell bent on jeopardising that. Look at you today, wearing pink on the wrong day.’ Gwynnie shook her head and her brittle bob rasped against her shoulders.
‘We don’t need to be creative. We do a process job; we just need to be conscientious and diligent and efficient.’
‘There are always opportunities for thinking outside the box, for creative thinking.’
‘Oh shut up.’
‘I think you’d better go to the toilets and wash your face. You need to calm down. Then you can apologise to the team.’ Gwynnie stood up and opened the door.
‘I don’t need to wash my face, thank you very much. And, just so you know, I won’t be apologising. Not to you and certainly not to Tiffy.’
‘The meeting’s over. Everyone can go back to their desks now. Except Ella.’
Ella waited. Not sure what she wanted to do. Not sure where this was going now. Suddenly she felt she was no longer in control of the situation – if she ever had been.
After everyone had gone Gwynnie closed the door with a bang and turned to Ella. Neither woman sat down.
‘That was mean and unnecessary. I’m going straight to HR now and you can go back and get on with your work while I decide what’s going to happen to you.’
‘No.’
‘No? No?’
‘Yes. That’s right. No. I’m not going back to my desk and getting on with my work.’ Ella’s head bobbed from side to side, an imitation of Gwynnie’s movements earlier. ‘And you’re not going to decide what happens to me.’ Ella smiled. Suddenly she knew exactly what was going to happen to her.
Gwynnie’s head wobbled but she didn’t seem to know what to say.
‘You see, Gladys,’ Ella said and watched as Gwynnie’s eyes and mouth widened in shock and horror. ‘I’m going to get much more money than your husband and I don’t have a mortgage to pay.’ Ella gave Gwynnie a sweet little smile, opened the door and skipped down the corridor back to the office.
When she approached her desk Tiffy pretended to concentrate on her work, but Ella could see that her neck was still blotchy. An email pinged into Ella’s inbox and for one hilarious moment Ella thought it was from Tiffy, but it was from Ben: Stairs, now? Pls?
‘I’m sorry I didn’t support you in there,’ Ben said as they stood together on the landing, away from eavesdroppers.
‘It’s okay.’
‘I’m ashamed too. Everything you said is absolutely true.’
‘It’s okay,’ Ella said again.
‘No, I really am sorry. I can’t afford to lose my job; I’ve got a family to support. But I should have said something. I should have backed you up. I feel really ashamed. I hope you don’t lose your job.’
‘It’s okay.’
‘I wish you wouldn’t keep saying that.’
‘It really is okay. And as for losing my job, I’m not losing it, I’m dumping it. Barbie and the Troll can get on with it. I just hope it doesn’t leave you guys in the muck.’
‘Barbie and the Troll. Ha ha ha. That is so funny.’ Ben laughed now. He looked relieved. ‘So what are you going to do? Have you got another job already?’
‘No.’ Ella shook her head. ‘I have a plan B.’ She thought of the cottage, she thought of Hal and his offer of help, how she was going to accept that offer. ‘I’ll tell you about it some other time, when we’re away from here. Now I have a few other things to do.’ Ella was feeling empowered and she liked it.
Gwynnie was waiting at Ella’s desk, her hands on her hips and her lips pursed.
‘Would you come with me please?’ Gwynnie spoke in a flat, even tone, but she too had a blotchy neck.
‘Where?’
‘To HR. Where we can talk in private.’
‘No.’ Ella leaned past Gwynnie and switched off her computer, she didn’t shut it down properly and she didn’t care. Then she started to collect her personal belongings together. She picked the desk troll up, smiled at it, then set it aside. She collected her coffee mug, though it had never had coffee in it, just pens and an emery board. She tipped the pens onto her desk then stuffed the cup in her handbag.
‘What are you doing?’ Gwynnie squeaked.
‘What do you think I’m doing?’
‘But it’s not home time yet.’
Ella laughed. ‘Well, it is for me.’
‘No. I don’t think it needs to come to this. I’m sure if we discuss it rationally and calmly we can move on from this misunderstanding.’
‘What misunderstanding? It’s all perfectly clear to me.
’ Oh dear, Ella was enjoying this just too much.
Gwynnie backed off, moved round to stand beside Tiffy’s desk. Ella looked at the pair of them, Barbie and the Troll, their faces slowly registering what was happening.
Ella opened her drawer, pulled out Barbie then closed it quickly. She took Barbie and the desk troll over to Ben and Kevin.
‘One each,’ she said, laying them on their desks. ‘They are amazing stress balls. Try it when the stupidness gets too much.’
Ben laughed and picked up Barbie, Kevin eyed the troll and said nothing.
‘I’ll email you, Ben.’ Ella strode back to her desk. She turned to Gwynnie and Tiffy. ‘Oh, you haven’t moved.’ They were static, like a tableau – one standing, one sitting, both with their mouths open.
She pulled her coat on, found her car keys and picked up her bag. Then she opened the drawer and pulled out Rueben’s stinky old dog rag. She held it at arm’s length, and marched round to Gwynnie and Tiffy – they were already recoiling at the stench.
‘Here, have this. You can add it to your repertoire of stupid days. Call it Stink Day.’ She threw it at Tiffy, and somehow it managed to drape itself round both Gwynnie and Tiffy at the same time.
She could still hear the horror squeals and gagging as she strutted down the office.
Eight
The message came just as she started the car. She pulled her phone out. Sam. OMG what have you done?!? You okay hun? xxx Ella winced. Of course Sam would know all the details, one of the privileges of working in HR.
Ella considered it for several seconds. Was she okay? Yes. At the moment she was. She thought about ringing Sam, or at least messaging her back. No, she’d wait. Sam hadn’t made herself available when Ella needed her, so now Sam could wait for Ella’s version of events.
As she drove home Ella thought about what had happened. It had felt so good when she’d challenged Tiffy and told Gwynnie – and everyone else – just how it was. She hadn’t said anything that wasn’t true. Tiffy knew nothing and Gwynnie didn’t know much more. And the look on their faces when she threw the dog rag at them. Priceless.
