by Cheryl Biggs
“Kate, you don’t have to tell me all this.”
“Yes, I do. I thought she killed herself because she’d given up her career and wasn’t happy.” Kate shook her head. “I was wrong, but I didn’t know, and I was determined that wouldn’t happen to me. That’s why I wouldn’t quit the force when you asked me too. I said no, and I was wrong.”
He sat down beside her and pulled her back into his arms. “We were both wrong.”
“No, I—”
“My mother was a lot like you, Red,” he said softly, looking down into her eyes. “Strong, independent, and very, very stubborn.” He looked away from her then, turning his gaze toward the mountains, his mind toward the past. “She was beautiful, and smart, and brave, and gentle.” He looked back at her. “And she had a job that sometimes put her in danger, too. She was an investigative journalist.”
Kate was instantly assailed with a sense of foreboding. “What happened?”
“She was killed,” he said, the words uttered barely louder than a whisper.
Suddenly all the times they’d argued over Kate’s job, and Shane’s insistence that she quit, made sense to her. He was afraid she would be killed, as his mother had been. He was afraid he would lose her, just as he’d lost his mother all those years ago.
“Shortly before my mother was killed, my uncle Randy, her little brother, was murdered. He was into a lot of things he shouldn’t have been, always out for the easy buck. The big money. But he didn’t want to work for it.” A sad smile touched Shane’s lips as his mind roamed through the memories he’d refused to think about for so long. “You couldn’t help but like him though. He was that kind of guy. But Randy loved to gamble. Betting on the horses was, I think, his favorite thing in the world. He even took me to the track with him a few times, and to his bookie’s bar. But as much as he loved the betting, he was unlucky at it. The police found his body one morning behind the track.”
“Did they get the man—”
“Who killed him?” Shane said. He shook his head. “No, and that infuriated my mother. She didn’t think the police even cared, felt they’d written him off as just another lowlife getting what was coming to him. So she decided to do a story on my uncle and the people he associated with, and bring his murderer to justice her way.”
Kate held back the questions flooding into her mind and bit her lip, waiting for him to go on.
Shane ran a hand over his face. “I remember that day like it was yesterday.”
The pain Kate saw come into his eyes broke her heart and brought tears, stinging, to her eyes. She blinked rapidly to hold them at bay.
“I was twelve. I’d had the flu for several days and had been staying home from school, but that day I insisted on going back.” Pain flickered across his face. “My mother didn’t want me to. Said I still had a fever and should give it at least one more day, but I was determined. It was the first day of junior league baseball tryouts and I had made up my mind I was going to be there and make the team. But if I’d stayed home...” He inhaled deeply, lost in his memories. “If I’d stayed home that day, she wouldn’t have gone out. She would have told whoever it was that she went to see that she couldn’t meet with them, that her son was ill, and then maybe it wouldn’t have happened.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” Kate said softly, reaching up to gently touch the side of his face. “You were just a little boy. You couldn’t have known.”
He nodded. “In my head, I know that,” Shane said. “I do. But in my heart...” He looked away.
“Whoever it was would have just gotten to her another day,” Kate said.
He nodded. “Probably. I don’t know. What I do know is that the pain of losing my mom was almost unbearable, and my feelings of guilt nearly ate me up. But my father felt even worse. He kept saying he should have insisted she give up her job and stay home after she had my sister, that he should have taken on a second job so we didn’t need the money my mother made.” A long sigh slipped from his lips. “He blamed himself totally, and it was something he couldn’t live with. He killed himself a year later.”
Kate gasped, her heart going out to that little boy who’d lost so much, and blamed himself, but most of all her heart went out to the man who sat beside her now, the man she’d never really understood until this moment. “Oh, Shane.” Tears stung her eyes.
“We went to live with an aunt and uncle in Fairview, Texas, my father’s sister and her husband. They were good people. Treated us as if we were their own kids, especially Diane—Dee. She was just a toddler, barely old enough to know what was happening. Even so, I didn’t stick around long. Finished high school, and took off. Couple of years later, Cody joined me on the road.”
“What happened to your mother wasn’t your fault,” Kate said again.
“Yeah, I know that now.” Shane’s gaze caught hers. “But your mother’s suicide, my mother’s murder, and my dad’s suicide, left us both with scars, Kate, heavy scars that put barriers on our emotions, and almost made us lose each other.” He sighed, long and deep and his arms tightened around her. “It took me a long time to get past my parents’ being gone, but finally I was able to quit dwelling on it and just get on with living. You know?” He smiled. “Then I met you.” His deep voice was husky with emotion, and his dark eyes bored into hers. “A cop.” He shook his head. “The first time I saw you, you took my breath away, Red. You stole my heart completely in the flash of an instant and gave me no chance to get it back. I didn’t really want to though. I knew from that first moment that you were the only woman I would ever love, but your job scared the living hell out of me.”
“Why didn’t you tell me all this before?” she asked, slipping her arms around his neck. “Maybe I would have understood, maybe I...”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I tried once, but the words just wouldn’t come out, and for a while I actually tried to accept your being a police officer. But I finally realized I couldn’t. Every time you were on duty I felt as if I was holding my breath all day, just waiting until I saw you and knew you were okay. And when we were apart I kept expecting to see a news flash on television announcing a female officer with the Reno police department had been shot, or get a phone call from your father, or one of our friends to say you’d been killed. I was torn up with worry over you all the time, Red, I was scared, but I was also angry...at you for doing that kind of job, and at me for not being able to handle it. Finally, I just figured if you really loved me, you’d just quit your job and come with me.”
“I should have,” Kate said.
She was surprised when Shane shook his head. “No. You were right to refuse. I should never have asked that of you. I had no right to demand you give up your career to marry me, and it took Skip Magruder’s nearly getting killed to make me see and understand that.”
He turned toward her and drawing both of her hands from his neck, held them tightly in his. “I always thought of Skip, and maybe even myself, as invincible, Red. As immortal. Untouchable, somehow.” A scoffing laugh slipped from his lips. “Oh, I knew a few bull riders had been killed in the past, that what we did was dangerous as hell, but I always figured those guys just did something wrong. They weren’t like Skip, like Tim and Craig and Cody and me. Not as good. Now I know how stupid that kind of thinking was, that nobody has any guarantees in this life, and my job is every bit as deadly as yours.”
His dark eyes held hers, pleading with her to understand. “But you never asked me to give up what I do.”
“I thought about it.”
“But you didn’t do it,” Shane said somberly. “I didn’t want to lose you like my father lost my mother, like I lost my mother.”
Kate heard the anguish in his voice.
“I didn’t want to go through that pain again, but I did anyway, because I lost you just as thoroughly when I walked away from you.” He cradled her face in his hands, his thumbs gently brushing across her cheeks to rid them of the tears that had fallen there. “Can you forgive me, Red? C
an you still love me?”
Emotion settled into her throat and robbed her of speech as a new wave of tears filled her eyes, but this time it was because her heart was singing, not crying.
“I don’t want to lose you again, Red,” Shane whispered, bending to brush his lips across hers. “I love you. I have always loved you.” He pulled the small box from the pocket of his Levi’s and, pressing it into her hand, curled her fingers around it, with his covering hers. “You’re the only woman I want in my life, Red, the only one I ever want to love, to fall asleep beside every night, wake up beside every morning. I want to argue with you, laugh with you, cry with you, and raise children with you. But most of all, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Kate looked down at the small box as she drew her hand from Shane’s and pulled back the tiny velvet-covered lid. The diamond ring sat within its bed of satin, sparkling up at her, just as it had three years ago. “Oh, Shane,” she said, her voice as breathless as she felt, and too filled with joy to say any more.
“Marry me, Red,” Shane said, pulling the ring out of its box. He slid it onto her trembling finger. “Be a cop, sweetheart. Be a barrel racer, head of the FBI, a CIA agent, or president of the whole damned country, I don’t care. Just please, whatever it is you want to do, say you’ll be my wife, too.”
She smiled up at him, slipped her arms back around his neck, and whispered “yes,” just before drawing his mouth down hard upon hers.
Epilogue
The buzzer sounded.
The gate flew open.
Kate jumped from her seat as Black Bart shot from his pen and roared into the arena, all muscle and fury, and Shane straddling his back. “Ride safe, my love,” she whispered. “Ride safe.”
The crowd roared as the bull bucked high.
Shane’s hat flew off.
Black Bart spun, then pitched forward and bucked viciously, throwing both himself and Shane high in the air.
A ton of Brahma met the ground with a resounding thud, and a cloud of red dust flew up.
The crowd sat spellbound, tense with excitement, anticipation, and fear.
As quickly he hit the ground, the bull’s rear legs flew upward again.
Shane’s legs moved with the bull, spurring him on, and his free arm remained high in the air.
Kate counted the seconds and held her breath, praying, never taking her eyes from her husband.
“This is one wild ride,” the announcer yelled excitedly, as the countdown neared its end. “And Larrabee’s giving as good as he’s getting.”
Kate absently touched her stomach.
The buzzer sounded and the audience cheered wildly.
“That’s it!” The announcer yelled. “He did it.”
Shane released his grip rope and jumped from the bull’s back, landing square on his feet and taking off instantly for the fence.
The clowns rushed in to divert the bull’s attention.
One scooped up Shane’s black Stetson and tossed it to him.
Kate breathed a sigh, then turned and hurried toward the gate where Shane would exit.
“We did it, honey,” he said, bursting through the gate and swinging her up into his arms. “We did it.”
Kate laughed with him. “Congratulations, cowboy.”
Shane captured her lips with his in a kiss that sent shivers all the way to Kate’s toes.
“I don’t know how it can ever get any better than this,” Shane said.
A little nagging sense of guilt tugged at her and she frowned. “You’re going to miss all of this, aren’t you?” she asked. This had been Shane’s last competitive bull ride. He’d decided to retire from the rodeo and devote his time to breeding rodeo stock.
They’d already remodeled the ranch house, and Cody was building himself a new house in the west meadow, a good half mile from them.
“Yeah,” he said, smiling. “I’ll miss it.”
“You know you don’t have to give it up for...”
He pressed a finger to her lips. “I know,” he said softly.
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure I want to spend every day with you,” Shane said, “and I don’t want our home to be some cramped little trailer, or a hotel room. Anyway, I’m almost thirtytwo years old. It’s time to retire.”
“Well, then,” she said, near to bursting to tell him her own news. “I have some news of my own for you.”
He noticed the wicked gleam that suddenly came into her eyes and narrowed his own in suspicion. “What?”
“Maybe you’d better sit down,” Kate said, a teasing lilt to her voice. “Your legs are probably still shaky from that ride. You’re not exactly as young as some of the other riders, you know, and I wouldn’t want to—”
Shane grabbed her arms and hauled her up against his long length. “What?” he demanded.
“I’m going to quit my job and I’ve told the Denver PD I’m not interested in joining them.”
His frown deepened. “Why?”
“Well, you know I’ve been on light duty anyway, since I’ve been taking so much time off to travel with you for the past few months and—”
“I’m retiring from the rodeo, Red,” he said. “And if you want, we can live on your ranch. We don’t have to live in Colorado. Cody can take care of the spread there. You don’t have to do this.”
She smiled. “I know, but I really don’t think I can handle chasing down crooks and handle the little tornado that’s going to be joining us soon.”
“What?” Shane’s face became a mask of puzzlement. “What are you talking about?”
Lord, she loved him so much. “We’re pregnant,” she said softly, just as the announcement came over the PA system officially declaring Shane Larrabee the PRCA’s World Champion All Around Cowboy for the fourth consecutive year.
He glanced over his shoulder toward the arena, and then looked back at her, and shook his head. “I didn’t hear you,” he said loudly, as the announcer began rattling off a series of scores and numbers.
Kate laughed. “We’re pregnant,” she yelled, just as the announcer quieted.
Her voice seemed to echo through the auditorium.
Suddenly every head within a hundred feet turned in her direction, most smiling.
Tim Norris, standing nearby, turned from the rails and gave her a thumbs-up sign.
Shane stared dumbfounded at Kate, his mouth hanging agape. “We’re what?”
Kate laughed again, then turned him around and gave him a playful shove toward the arena. “We’re going to have a baby,” she said, “and you need to get out there and claim your title.”
Shane whirled around and dragged her back into his arms. “A baby?” he repeated. “We’re going to have a baby?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“I didn’t think things could get any better but—” He hugged her tightly, then swung her in the air. “Oh, damn, this is great.” Abruptly he let her go, then gripped her shoulders. “I’m sorry. I guess I shouldn’t have done that.” A deep frown cut into his brow. “Did I hurt you, Red? Is the baby okay?”
The announcer called for him to come into the arena again.
“We’re fine,” she said through her tears, “and don’t you dare stop hugging us, but right now, Shane Larrabee, they’re waiting for you out there.”
He brushed his lips quickly over her and turned to go, then whirled back again. “We’re really going to have a baby?”
“Well,” Kate said, smiling and feeling wickedly happy, “twins do run in my family, so...” She shrugged. “Maybe...”
Author Note
Though in my story Skip Magruder was a legend because he’d won numerous World Championships, and the PRCA’s World Champion All Around Cowboy title three times, in reality, there have been three men who live in the elite ranks of being the only men to have won the PRCA’s World Champion All Around Cowboy award six times: Larry Mahan, Tom Ferguson, and Ty Murray (who won it six consecutive years).
ISBN : 978-1-4592-5867-9
THE COWBOY SHE NEVER FORGOT
Copynght © 1999 by Cheryl Biggs
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Silhouette Books, 300 East 42nd Street, New York, NY 10017 U S.A.
All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention
This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
® and TM are trademarks of Harlequin Books S.A., used under license Trademarks indicated with ® are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the Canadian Trade Marks Office and in other countries.
Table of Contents
Table of Contents
“I’ve missed you,”
Letter to Reader
Books by Cheryl Biggs
About the Author
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Epilogue
Author Note
Copyright
