by Amy Clipston
“Lillian is not here alone. Joshua and Daniel King are working on the farm. She can always go to them if she needs help.”
“That’s not the same as having their mamm at home where she belongs.”
Hannah sucked in a breath and paused. “We will talk about this later. Not in front of the kinner.” She looked at Andrew. “Do you need anything? Maybe a glass of water?”
Andrew nodded. “Ya. Water please.”
Lillian stood. “I’ll go get him some water and Tylenol.”
“Danki.” Hannah gestured toward the door. “I need to call Phyllis and tell her I don’t need a ride home today. I’ll be right back.”
“Did you take the bus?” Lillian asked.
“No, I got a ride.” Hannah started for the doorway. Lillian followed her out to the kitchen.
Trey stood in the doorway to the mudroom and asked, “How is he?”
Hannah forced a smile. “He’s going to be fine. He has a gash above his eye, but it’s not serious.”
“I’m so glad.” Trey returned the smile. “I know you were worried.”
Lillian looked at Trey and turned to Hannah with her eyes wide.
Hannah touched Lillian’s arm. “Trey gave me a ride.” She paused, realizing that she’d said his first name out loud. She was stunned by how natural it sounded to say his first name. It was as if being his close friend felt right. She cleared her throat before speaking. “He walked by while I was at the front desk trying to figure out what to do because Phyllis mentioned she had plans this afternoon.” She started for the door. “I’m going to walk Trey out and then call Phyllis. I’ll be right back in, okay?”
Lillian nodded. Hannah could tell by her daughter’s surprised expression that she was shocked to see Trey again.
Hannah followed Trey outside. It barely registered that Joshua was out in the pasture with Daniel. When they reached Trey’s car, they stood together by the driver’s side door.
He looked down at her. “I’m glad he’s okay.”
“I was so worried I was going to lose him like I lost Gideon.” Hannah’s eyes filled with tears. All of the worry she’d held in since Lillian’s phone call poured out of her like a waterfall. She couldn’t stop the sobs shaking her body and the tears spilling from her eyes. “There was so much blood, Trey. I couldn’t believe it. There was blood all over his clothes and in his hair. And there were towels all over the bed and rags on the floor covered in his blood too.”
“Hey. It’s okay.” Trey wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.
At first she was shocked by the hug. But then instead of pushing him away, Hannah snuggled into the warmth of his arms. She realized then that forgetting about Trey would be impossible. He was etched in her mind forever. And she needed him like she needed air to breathe.
“Andrew will be fine.” His voice was soft and his breath was warm in her ear, like a summer breeze.
Hannah inhaled deeply, and her body relaxed as her sobs dissipated. She breathed in the spicy scent of his aftershave and laid her head on his shoulder. “Thank you,” she whispered while enjoying the comfort of his arms. She felt warm and safe, and she wanted the feeling to last forever.
“You don’t have to thank me.” He rested his cheek on her head.
“Ya, I do. I’m so glad you came by today. I can’t thank you enough for your help.”
“You don’t have to thank me,” he repeated the words with more emphasis. “I helped you for purely selfish reasons.”
She looked up at him. “What do you mean?”
“I missed you.” His dark eyes studied her with an intensity that caused her pulse to skip a beat. “I missed you a lot.”
She swiped her hand across her tear-soaked cheeks. “I missed you too.”
“It’s been torture to not be able to talk to you. I have so much I want to tell you.” He took her hand in his, and his skin was warm and smooth. “I found a church I really like, and I think I’m going to make an offer on one of the houses I looked at. It reminds me of your place and also of my grandparents’ farm.”
“That’s wonderful, Trey. I’m so happy for you.” Holding his hand felt natural, as if she’d known him for years. Why was being with him so easy?
“I better go.” Trey squeezed her hand. “Hopefully, I’ll see you soon. Hannah, you mean so much to me.”
He leaned down and hugged her again, and Hannah didn’t want to let go. He was like a magnet, pulling her toward him despite her best intentions of steering clear of him.
Trey opened the car door and climbed in. “Let me know how Andrew is.”
“I will. Thank you again.”
“And by the way,” Trey began, “I’m glad you finally stopped calling me Mr. Peterson and started calling me Trey. I’d like you to think of me as more than an acquaintance.”
“You’re more than an acquaintance to me. You mean a lot to me too, Trey.”
“Good.” He smiled before climbing into his car.
Hannah waved as Trey drove out of the driveway.
“Hannah!” a loud voice bellowed from the porch.
Hannah looked back to where Barbie and Lillian stood watching her, and her smile faded. Lillian’s mouth gaped while Barbie shook her head and glowered.
Lillian rushed down the porch steps and moved past Hannah.
“Lillian!” Hannah called after her. “Where are you going?”
“I’ll call Phyllis for you. I’ll tell her you don’t need a ride home.” Lillian hurried toward the barn.
“Danki.” Hannah climbed the porch steps.
“I don’t understand you.” Barbie glared at Hannah. “How could you let that man touch you?”
“I was upset about Andrew, and he consoled me.” Hannah shook her head. “I’ve told you more than once that he’s mei freind.”
“You’re headed for trouble.” Barbie wagged a pudgy finger at her. “You never should’ve taken that job at the hotel. I knew this would happen.”
Hannah folded her arms over her apron as the frustration Barbie had caused earlier seeped through her. “My working at the hotel has nothing to do with this.”
Barbie started down the stairs. “I’m leaving. I can’t stand here and pretend I agree with your behavior. You’re going to cause problems for your kinner by behaving like this. I can’t watch you ruin their lives.”
“I’m not ruining their lives.” Hannah rubbed the back of her neck in an attempt to relieve the tension building there. Would this woman ever stop criticizing her?
“Yes, you are.” Barbie faced her. “I’ve told you that you’re going to ruin our family’s reputation. You’re just like the rest of your family. I didn’t want to see this happen again.”
“What?” Anger boiled up inside Hannah. “What are you saying?”
“I know about your onkel Elam.” Barbie jammed her hands on her wide hips. “He divorced his wife and left the community. It took years for your family to get over the pain, and there was quite a ripple of concern that moved through the community back then.”
Hannah regarded Barbie with confusion. “What are you talking about? Mei onkel Elam died when I was a boppli.”
“No, he didn’t.” Barbie shook her head with emphasis. “He left the community and ran off with an Englisher. Your aenti told everyone he died, but I found out the truth from your mammi.”
Hannah blanched. Was Barbie telling the truth? If so, why hadn’t any of her family members ever told her what had really happened to her onkel Elam? She’d heard all her life that he had died.
Confusion mixed with frustration surged through Hannah as she worked to regain composure. “Even if that’s true, it has nothing to do with me. I’m not planning on leaving the community.”
“I’m going home.” Barbie turned toward the pasture where Joshua and Daniel were training a horse. “Joshua! Take me home.”
Hannah spotted Lillian scowling while she stood by the barn. She raised her hand to wave to her, but Lillian looked away.
Hannah walked back into the mudroom and leaned against the wall. She wondered how her day could become any more confusing. Not only did she feel intense emotions for Trey radiating inside her, but she just found out her onkel had left the community and wasn’t dead.
She stepped into the kitchen and looked out the window to where Joshua was hitching his horse to the buggy. Barbie stood near him and gestured wildly while speaking to him. Hannah couldn’t even imagine what Barbie was saying about her. She knew the news of her impropriety with Trey would spread through the community. Once word got around, nothing would be the same for Hannah and her children.
Hannah shook her head. In her heart, she knew that one accusation Barbie had made was correct—Hannah was on a road that could lead to trouble. But she couldn’t deny how she felt about Trey. When she was with him, she felt comfortable and safe, a feeling she hadn’t experienced since Gideon had died. And Trey could offer her a new life enjoying what she loved to do most.
“Mamm!” Andrew’s voice sounded from the other room. “Mamm? Will you sit with me?”
“I’m coming.” Hannah hurried toward her bedroom and hoped all of these problems and confusing feelings would evaporate and heal along with Andrew’s injury.
“Mamm?” Lillian stood in her mother’s bedroom doorway later that evening. “May I talk to you?”
Mamm looked up from the Bible and patted the bed beside her. “Lily. Of course we can talk. Come sit with me.”
Lillian sat next to Mamm and pushed her glasses up on her nose as she so often did. “I’m glad Andrew’s headache is gone. I checked on him, and he’s sleeping.”
“Gut. I’m glad he’s okay.”
“I wanted to talk to you about what happened earlier.” Lillian smoothed her nightgown over her legs while she considered her words. Although her mother had always told her that she could talk to her about anything, bringing up the incident with the Englisher made her uncomfortable. “Mammi was really upset when she saw you outside with Mr. Peterson.”
Mamm frowned. “I know. She told me she was upset.” She leaned over. “Are you upset with me, Lily? You can tell me the truth.”
Lillian shrugged. “I don’t know if I’m upset, but I’m confused.”
“Why are you confused?”
“I’ve never seen you hugging anyone else the way you hugged Mr. Peterson.” She paused. “Except for Dat.”
Mamm nodded slowly. “Trey was there when I needed him, and I was really upset today. I was afraid I might lose your bruder like I lost your dat.”
“You call him by his first name now?” Lillian struggled to understand her mother’s sudden attitude change toward this man.
“Ya,” she said slowly. “Trey is mei freind, and we call our friends by their first names. But he’s only mei freind, no matter what Mammi says.”
Lillian understood her mother’s words, but she wasn’t convinced the hug was merely innocent or without repercussions. “Mammi says people may make assumptions about you because of what you did. I don’t want you to be shunned.”
Mamm took Lillian’s hands in hers. “Lily, I don’t want you to worry about this. I haven’t done anything to be ashamed of. Your mammi is entitled to her opinion, but I disagree with her. We need to respect our elders, but that doesn’t mean we have to agree with everything they say. We can silently and respectfully disagree.” She glanced at the clock on her nightstand. “It’s late. You really should go to bed so you’re ready to teach in the morning.”
“Okay.” Lillian stood. “Who was your onkel Elam? I don’t remember hearing about him.”
“Mei onkel Elam was married to mei aenti Sarah. I was told he died before I was born, but your mammi says that isn’t true. She said he divorced Aenti Sarah and married an Englisher.” She shook her head. “I have no idea if that’s true, but I’ll ask my cousin Susan at church on Sunday. Since she’s older than I am, I imagine she’d know the truth.”
“Ach.” Lillian fingered her nightgown. “Why would Mammi bring that up today?”
Her mother frowned. “I’m certain Mammi is concerned I’m going to wind up like Onkel Elam.”
“What do you mean?”
“She thinks I’m going to run away with Trey.”
Alarm gripped Lillian as her eyes widened. “Do you want to run away with him?”
“No.” Mamm spoke with emphasis. “Do me a favor, Lily. Don’t believe everything your mammi says about me. Please always give me the benefit of the doubt.” She tapped the comforter. “I want to stay right here on this farm with you and your siblings. This is my home. Do you understand me?”
“Ya. I understand.”
“Gut nacht.” Her mother yawned. “You better get to bed.”
“I will. Gut nacht.”
Lillian climbed the stairs to her room while thinking about everything that had occurred today. She’d gone from worrying about Andrew to confusion about her mother’s public display of what seemed like affection for Mr. Peterson, even though her mother said he was only a freind. She needed someone to talk to so she could sort through all of the confusing feelings coursing through her. She hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to Amanda and tell her everything that had happened.
She quickened her pace as she reached the top step and hurried to their room at the end of the hall. She pushed the door open and looked over at the bed.
Lillian frowned when she found Amanda snoring and lying on her side facing the door. She considered waking her up, but she knew it was best to just let her twin sleep. She’d once awoken Amanda to tell her about a strange dream. Instead of being interested in the contents of the dream, Amanda fussed at her, saying it had taken her more than an hour to fall asleep.
Lillian crawled into bed and snuggled down under the quilt. She said her prayers and then stared at the ceiling while listening to the rhythmic sound of her twin’s snoring. She wished she too could fall asleep and forget everything that had happened today. She wanted to believe that everything would be okay. Yet she knew deep in her heart that nothing would be okay. This was only the beginning.
TWELVE
Lillian waved as each of the children filed out of the schoolhouse on Friday afternoon.
Mattie Smucker, the full-time teacher, walked from the doorway toward her desk. “It was a gut day, ya?” At the age of nineteen, she stood at five-foot-six, just an inch taller than Lillian, with light brown hair and brown eyes.
“Ya.” Lillian gathered up the stack of books from the desks and placed them in the bookshelf. “The scholars are so bright. I love watching them figure out a math problem. There’s nothing more rewarding than helping a kind learn something new. And they never give up. They soak up new ideas like little sponges.”
“Ya, they do.” Mattie smiled. “I have a secret.”
“Ach! Tell me!” Lillian moved to the front of the classroom and sat on one of the desks in the first row. She folded her hands over her apron.
Mattie ran her finger over the desk. “Can you keep my secret?”
“Ya! I can! I’m bursting at the seams. Please tell me.”
Mattie bit her lower lip. “Stephen asked me to marry him last week. I’ve been dying to tell you.”
“Ach!” Lillian hopped down from the desk and rushed over to Mattie. “That’s wunderbaar! I’m so froh for you.” She hugged Mattie. “You must be so excited.”
“Ya, I am.” Mattie sighed. “Stephen is so sweet and kind. And handsome.” Her ivory cheeks flushed bright pink. “I met with the school board members last night, and I told them I won’t be returning to teach in the fall.” She paused. “What do you think about becoming the full-time teacher?”
Lillian’s eye widened. “Do you think they might consider me?”
“Absolutely!” Mattie gestured toward the desks. “The scholars love you! You’ve seen how they ask you to join their baseball games outside, and they bicker about who gets to sit next to you when we eat our lunch on the playground. You’d be a wunderbaar teacher.”
“But you know most teacher’s assistants go to work full-time at a school in another district. Do you think they’d consider letting me teach here?”
“Oh, ya, I do think they would consider you.” Mattie nodded. “You’ve been the assistant here for a year, and you know teachers are hard to find. We can talk to them together and explain that you want to stay here. I’ll put in a gut word for you, and you know the scholars will too. You’re the best teacher’s assistant I’ve had since I started teaching here three years ago. You’re patient with the kinner, but you’re also firm when necessary. I think you’ll do an excellent job.”
“Danki. I would love to do it.” Lillian couldn’t prevent the smile from spreading across her face. It had been her dream to become a teacher ever since she was a little girl. She couldn’t wait to run her own classroom.
“We better get going. Chores await us at home.” Mattie started for the door. “I’ll see you Sunday at church.”
“Okay. Bye.” Lillian grabbed her bag and headed out the door. As she walked up the street toward her farm, she grinned. Maybe her dream of becoming a teacher would come true after all. She couldn’t wait to tell her mother and Amanda the news! Amanda worked until the late afternoon at the deli today, but her mother would be home.
Lillian rushed toward the farm and into the house, where her brother sat at the table eating a snack and her mother stood at the sink washing baking dishes.
“Hi, Lily.” Mamm looked up from washing a pan. “How was your day?”
“Wunderbaar!” Lillian dropped her bag on a kitchen chair.
“Here.” Andrew pushed a plate of oatmeal raisin cookies toward her. “Have some kichlin. They’re my favorite. Mamm made them fresh for us.”
“Danki.” Lillian picked up a cookie and bit into it. “They’re appeditlich. They’re still warm, which is just how I like them.”
Mamm smiled. “I’m froh you like them. Now tell us why your day was so wunderbaar.”
Lillian sat in a chair next to Andrew while she finished the cookie. “I’m going to tell Mamm something, and you need to keep it to yourself. Understand, Andrew?”
