by Dora Hiers
Maybe they could spare a few minutes here. What was the rush? He could protect them here as well as at Regi’s apartment. “We’ll make time. Whatever you want.”
“Thank you.” She glanced at the trophy in his hand, a smile tugging at her lips. She walked into the family room, stopping next to him. Her arm brushed his when she reached for the trophy. “Tessa plays in a recreational basketball league with her friend, Katie. Last season they were the only two girls in the entire league, and they were both on the same team. Their team ended up in first place, much to the surprise of all the boys not on their team.” Pride laced her voice. She set the trophy back on the table, a gentle smile gracing her expression.
“Why, Mina?” He wasn’t talking basketball. Pain gripped his insides, squeezed tight, and wouldn’t let go.
The smile slipped. Along with her shoulders. “Why Mark? Or why not you?”
“I’d take the answer to either one.” And why she never tried to contact him.
Anger flashed briefly from the depths of her blue eyes. Just as quickly, it faded. “You’ve forgotten the sequence of events, Gunner. You were the one to break up with me. Not the other way around. Remember?”
“Okay. Let’s go with why Mark?”
“Are you sure you want to hear this?”
He scoffed and shook his head. “Want to? No.”
She closed her eyes, hung her head. “I didn’t think—”
With a forefinger, he lifted her chin up. So she could see his feelings, not just hear them. “Want to? No. But do I need to? Yes.” He gulped precious air. “Because I can tell you I’ve agonized over that decision every day for the last ten years, and even more since meeting Tessa and seeing what could have been. And, more importantly, because I want to clear the air so that we can pave the way for any future we might have.”
“There can’t be any future for us, Gunner. We have too much past blocking our path.” She whispered the words. Words he knew she didn’t mean.
“Haven’t we both lived with enough regrets in our life? Do we have to live with another ‘what if?’” He tucked an unruly curl behind her ear like he’d done so many times.
Mina gazed into his face, searching for…what? Truth, trustworthiness? She must have found what she was looking for.
She nodded, took a deep breath. “Mark came over to my apartment about a week after we broke up. He brought me a dozen roses, said he felt awful about what happened.” Her shoulders drooped. Her eyes glazed with the memories. She sank onto the couch.
“I guess I was feeling vulnerable. Hurt. Used. I loved you so much. I didn’t understand why you broke up. It hurt even worse because of the timing. If it had been a week before, well…I wouldn’t have lost everything. As it was, I felt I had given you everything, all of me, and then you walked away without a backward glance. Like I didn’t mean anything to you. Like what I gave you wasn’t special. Mark let me cry on his shoulder. Then he kissed me.”
She scoffed and flicked hair from her eyes. “Our relationship lasted one night. Long enough for him to get what he came for. Long enough for me to realize he wasn’t you.” Tears poured down Mina’s face.
Gunner moved to the couch and pulled her close, tucked her under an arm.
“He wasn’t you. But I guess I told myself that if I couldn’t have you, he was a close-enough second.” She swiped tears away with long fingers, her breathing ragged.
“Did he hurt you?” He held his breath. Waiting…
“I was a willing participant, if that’s what you’re asking. Did he hurt me?” She scoffed. “Isn’t that what guys do?”
Yeah. Starting with her father and then him. He blew out a sigh and kissed the top of her head, letting his chin rest against her silky hair. Tried not to think about how right she felt snuggled next to him. “Mina, it’s not meant to be that way. I didn’t mean for it to be that way. I was young. Stupid.”
She moved her head away slightly and peered up at his face, her cheeks damp. “And now you’re mature? Wiser?”
“I’d like to think that, but that wouldn’t be the whole truth. God’s changed my life. He took the black walls of my life and painted them a bright white. Helped me see that living life my way wasn’t working. If it weren’t for Him, I’d probably still be the same stupid slug I was then.”
“I think I can see that. You’re still Gunner, but you seem different. When did this happen?”
“A few months ago. Soon after Trent got shot. Events like that make you realize you’re one step, one gunshot, closer to death.”
“But in your job…” She stopped, gasped, then cupped a warm palm against his cheek. He leaned into her hand, relishing the contact she initiated. “I’m so sorry, Gunner. I was going to say staring death in the face is inherent in your job. But I guess it happens in any job, doesn’t it? I mean, here you are protecting my daughter because of my job. My safe and steady job. An accountant. Who’d think? Ironic, isn’t it?”
Was she saying what he thought she was? Had she finally forgiven the law enforcement profession for the high-speed chase that killed her mother and brother? “Sweetheart, you know I’ll do whatever it takes not to let anything happen to you or Tessa.”
“I trust you with my life, Gunner. And Tessa’s. I know you’ll protect my daughter as if she were your own.”
He inched his face closer to hers and held his breath, allowing her the opportunity to pull back, to stop what he was about to do. He didn’t want to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with. “Mina,” he whispered, “I’m about to kiss you. But that’s all I’m going to do. If you don’t want me to, you'd better tell me now.”
11
“I don’t want you to.”
Big, fat liar.
She wanted him to kiss her. Big time. Just like she wanted to stay in the shelter of his sturdy arms, to feel his breath wisp gently against her hair, to smell his familiar Gunner scent reminding her of their winter spent snuggled in front of his fireplace. But she wasn’t about to tell him that.
She pulled back, away from the comforting haven of his arms, and summoned up her firmest voice. “You can’t just come waltzing back into my life after ten years, Gunner, and expect me to cozy up to you.” She wanted to take the words back as soon as they left her mouth.
His smile wilted, shoulders drooped, and arms went limp against his sides. “You’re right, Mina. I’m sorry for pushing you. You let me know when you’re ready for my kisses, sweetheart. We’ll take things at your pace.”
The Gunner she knew wouldn’t have taken “no” for an answer. He would have sweet-talked and cajoled until she gave in. He was right. He had changed. She didn’t know this new Gunner.
But maybe she wanted to know him. To give this Gunner a chance. To give them a new beginning.
She couldn’t deal with this pressure right now. A mad client on her tail who may or may not be the lunatic who tried to snatch her daughter, and Gunner, who, up until a few days ago was a distant memory, now wanted to renew their relationship.
“I need to pack. The sooner we get to Regi’s place, the sooner I can finish my report. Then the police will have something more to go on than just my word saying Malcolm followed me. Or that he tried to grab my daughter.” Willow didn’t dare look at Gunner’s face for fear she’d see disappointment.
She jumped off the couch and raced for the stairs, fleeing for the isolation of her bedroom. Where Gunner wouldn’t be in her personal zone. Saying all the right words. Doing all the right things. Being the right kind of guy.
How could she possibly think with him around? She couldn’t even breathe!
Willow heaved the suitcase that Gunner had left in the hallway onto her bed and unzipped it. Took a deep breath. In. Out. See? She was already feeling better after leaving the distracting man downstairs.
Somewhere along the way, her memories had become muddled. Murky. Over the years, her relationship with Gunner had jumbled with her memory of the one night with Mark.
Being with Gunn
er again made it all painfully clear. Brought the past into crisp focus.
One night with Mark was long enough for Willow to recognize that Mark wasn’t Gunner. Long enough for her to realize that she’d made an awful mistake. Long enough to acknowledge that every action had consequences. Some more lasting than others.
Mark hadn’t caressed her with Gunner’s soothing touch or kissed her with soft, butterfly kisses. He lacked Gunner’s always-at-the-ready grin, the one that quirked up on one side. Mark didn’t have that same twinkle in his eyes like Gunner when he teased her. Mark hadn’t shared his dreams with her, or asked Willow about hers.
Mark hadn’t cuddled with her afterwards, or tried to make her feel better about what she’d done. He had just given her a quick peck on the cheek, lifted himself off the bed, pulled his clothes on, and left.
As if nothing had happened. But something had happened.
Tessa.
And although Willow regretted giving herself to Mark, she would never, never, never regret having Tessa in her life.
Willow yanked the mesh bag full of dirty clothes out of her suitcase and tossed the whole thing in the laundry hamper in the closet. She’d deal with the dirty clothes later.
She sighed. Too bad the washing machine couldn’t wash away some of the grunge from her life. The mistakes she’d made. The wrong choices.
What had Gunner said about God? That God had painted his black walls bright white? Maybe that’s what she needed. A fresh coat of paint inside. She’d talk to Gunner more about this later. Right now, she needed to repack her bag.
Willow grabbed some clean shirts and jeans from the dresser and dropped them into the suitcase. Tessa came bouncing into the bedroom rolling her small case, followed by a more sedate Regi, carrying Tessa’s book bag.
“Tessa is all set. Do you need any help, Willow?”
“I think I have it covered in here. Maybe in the kitchen, though.” She lifted the suitcase off the bed and rolled it near the door then turned and smiled. “Are you guys both okay with this?”
Tessa plopped on the edge of Willow’s bed. “Oh yeah, Mom. I think it’ll be way cool for Mr. Gunner to stay with us at Aunt Regi’s apartment. It’ll be kinda like having a dad around, won’t it?”
Willow caught Regi’s anxious glance, read not only what her face showed, but also what it didn’t. She knew Regi worried about her heart after seeing Gunner.
Willow was more concerned about her daughter. About the crazy Malcolm snatching Tessa and what he’d do if he got his evil hands on her.
But what if Tessa became too attached to Gunner in the process? And what if Willow fell for the marshal? That she’d wanted him to kiss her earlier only confirmed her worry. Wanted him to? She’d practically drooled. She’d all but thrown her arms around the man.
Oh, bother!
Right now her daughter needed protection. So that meant Willow needed Gunner.
She sank down on the bed next to Tessa and stroked her daughter’s soft hair. “Tessa. Mr. Gunner’s not your dad. But he is an old and dear friend of mine, and I promise you that he’ll take very good care of you.” Just as if he were Tessa’s dad. Even though he was actually her uncle. Those thoughts slipped unbidden from the dark recesses of her brain where she’d tucked them away nine years ago. Now she wanted to gag. What had she done?
Maybe Regi was right to be worried. Look what she was capable of.
“Hey, kiddo. I think your mom’s done an amazing job raising you by herself. Look how you’ve turned out. You’re a pretty cool kid. And beautiful to boot.” Regi ruffled Tessa’s hair and shot Willow an apologetic smile.
“Thanks, Aunt Regi. I’m just saying it would be nice to have a dad. Like Katie.”
Willow’s heart lurched to her toes. “You’re right, sweetie. We’ve been through this before. But now is—”
A noise in the hall caught Willow’s attention. The smile she’d flashed at Tessa froze on her face. Gunner stood in the doorway, hands clenched into fists at his sides, intense longing contorting his face. Her stomach pitched at what he must have overheard.
“May I come in?”
The words she’d been about to comfort Tessa with died on her lips. Mute, she nodded, and watched him walk straight to her daughter. Gunner crouched and placed a hand on each of Tessa’s shoulders. The laughter crinkles around his eyes, the teasing that graced his smile, both gone. Love shimmered from his solemn brown eyes.
Willow sucked in a breath, nerves on high alert. Could he see Tessa’s fragile heart reflecting from her eyes? What would he say to her daughter?
“Tessa, I came up here to see if I could lend a hand with taking the luggage down the stairs. I hope you don’t mind that I overheard what you said.”
“Which part?”
“The part where you said you thought it would be cool to have a dad.” Gunner’s usually mellow voice cracked. Just a little. “You know what’s funny?”
Tessa shook her head. At this moment, Willow didn’t think anything could be funny. Please don’t hurt my baby.
“I’m thirty-three years old, and I think it would be cool to have a daughter. One just like you.”
How incredible was this guy? Willow exhaled the breath she’d been holding and swiped at the moisture gathering around her eyes. She noticed Regi doing the same.
“How about we make a deal?”
A deal? Uh-oh.
“What kinda deal?” Tessa asked.
Willow’s thoughts, exactly.
“The kind of deal that gives us both what we want. First, how about we drop the ‘Mr.’ and you call me just plain Gunner?”
“That’s easy enough.”
“Is there more to this deal?” Tessa tilted her head to study the marshal.
“Yeah. The best part. Anytime you’re feeling in the mood to have a dad around, you and your mom come visit me. And I’ll do the same.”
Willow could see the wheels turning in her daughter’s head. “Where do you live?”
“North Carolina.”
“Really? Mommy’s from there.”
“I know, sweetheart. We lived in the same city while we went to college.”
Tessa’s brow furrowed. “But, Gunner, North Carolina is a long ways away from Florida. Mommy says it takes almost half a day to drive out of Florida.”
Gunner nodded. “It is a long ways away by car. Probably a good ten hours or so.”
“Ten hours?” Tessa wrinkled her nose. “Could we fly on an airplane to come see you?”
“You could.”
“How long does it take on an airplane?”
“It depends. Less than two hours if you fly straight through.”
Tessa’s eyes widened. “That’s not too long. Would you fly on an airplane to come see us?”
“Definitely.”
Tessa glanced at her. “What do you think, Mom?”
“I think we’ll have to see.”
Tessa nodded and curled a hand around each of Gunner’s shoulders, just like he’d done to her. “Mom says we’ll have to see. That probably means yes. Maybe no, though.”
Gunner laughed and tugged Tessa into a hug. Over her daughter’s head, his gaze connected with Willow’s. The promise of hope glimmered from his eyes, the pledge of a future. “We’ll have to trust God to handle the details,” he said, his voice clear and confident.
Regi sniffled.
Willow plucked two tissues from the box on the dresser, handed one to Regi and kept one for herself.
Could she trust God with the details? Could she trust Gunner?
12
I don’t do mornings until I’ve had my coffee.
Willow stared at the words on the plaque in Regi’s tiny galley kitchen while she dipped the green teabag a couple of times. She dumped the teabag in the garbage can, dug a bagel from a package, and popped it into the toaster.
She gripped the mug and turned around. Nearly smacked into Gunner’s broad chest. “Whoa! This kitchen was designed for only one user at a ti
me.”
Gunner laughed and took the mug from her. He parked it on the counter, grasped her shoulders and pulled her in for a hug. “Good morning, sunshine. And I think this kitchen’s the perfect size for two.”
Of their own accord, her arms encircled his waist, and she breathed in his familiar scent from her vantage spot next to his chest. “Mmm. Very nice.”
She felt his chuckle against her hair. “You’re right. This is very nice.”
“Can you guys hold it down in there? I have…” An arm poked from under the comforter that draped the couch to check a phone. “Ten more minutes of shut-eye coming to me.” Regi jerked the comforter back over her head.
“Still not a morning person, Regi?” Gunner teased, his arms still encircling Willow, his words rumbling against her head.
No answer.
Willow slipped out of Gunner’s hug. She took possession once again of the mug and sipped, relishing a long swallow of the hot beverage. “Do you have any peanut butter, Regi?”
“Pantry.” The muffled voice floated into the kitchen.
Gunner opened the door next to him and pulled out a jar, handed it over, and winked.
“Thanks.” She opened the jar and slathered peanut butter on the toasted bagel, trying not to allow Gunner’s close proximity to throw her off balance. Tried not to notice the thin shirt that did nothing to hide his well-toned muscles or the jeans that snugged against lean hips. She sniffed, inhaling the smell of his freshly shampooed hair, still damp and more than a little wavy from his shower.
She pushed an errant lock away from her eyes and forced her mind to erase that image. “So. Let’s go over the plan.”
Gunner pulled a mug down from the cabinet and filled it with black coffee. “You feel confident leaving Tessa at school after our conversation with the principal yesterday?”
“Don’t you?”
“I don’t feel as confident as I would if she stayed with us.” Gunner reached into the pantry and pulled out a box of cereal. “Would you like some?”
“No, thanks.”
He nodded and filled the bowl, added some milk and grabbed a spoon from the drawer.
