“While the coffee is brewing, I’ll get you something to eat. Start talking,” I say, impatient to find out more about this affair. “First off, did you just fly in today?”
“No, I’ve been in New York for two days. My father wanted me to wait for a few things to settle before coming to see you.”
“Why two days?”
“I didn’t want anything to go wrong. Legally, I had to wait on a few things to wrap up, but I wanted to be close by so the minute it was okay for me to tell you what happened, I’d only be a car ride away. These have been the longest two days of my life.”
“Nikolaj, this sounds like an extremely complicated situation.”
“Honey, this story is a mess.” He exhales before continuing. “Jakob hasn’t been in love very often in his life. I’m not exactly sure how it all started but from the text messages and emails I’ve read, it was super-hot and very sinful.”
“How did you get your hands on those messages?”
“Bryce.”
“What?” I’m dumbfounded. “Bryce, Diego and Martin are involved, and now you had to wait two days to come to me? God.”
“I’m afraid so. As for Bryce, when we met your brother-in-law and your sister he explained his team can catch any bad guy anywhere on the planet. After two weeks of stupid excuses from both my brother and Marna on why I couldn’t see those paternity papers with my own two eyes, I got fed up. I called Martin in a state of rage and he’s the one who suggested finding a way to get the papers without asking permission. My exasperation was getting the better of me until I remembered Bryce’s expertise. After I contacted him, he connected me to a private investigator in London.”
“This is like a spy movie.”
“I had to fight fire with fire against my brother or else I’d have to wait six months to find out if I was in fact the father.”
“Why six months?”
“Marna didn’t want any additional tests on her baby. She claimed he was too young. I’m certain my brother put her up to it.”
“Wow. They were willing to destroy you, but not provide proof?”
“Exactly. The investigator broke into Jakob’s computer and I also arranged for him to have access to the system at the vodka company. Thank God my dad was on my side. He gave me carte blanche to bring forth the truth.”
“This is an insane story.”
Nikolaj shakes his head and rakes his hands through his hair like he usually does when something is troubling him. “You don’t know half of it.”
For the next hour Nikolaj shares mind-boggling details about the last six weeks of his life. Here I was thinking he had moved on with his life, but he was tangled in a web of deception. When he finally takes a breath, he sinks back in his chair and exhales. “My brother is a cruel man who destroys anything he touches.”
I can barely believe what he’s just revealed. It all seems so surreal, but then again, we are talking about Jakob.
“This reads like a Hollywood plot. Your brother has an affair with your cousin’s wife. When she refuses to leave her husband and her five-year-old twins, heartbroken, Jakob goes on a drinking binge and lands in Marna’s bed. A few months later he tries to pass off his baby as your own because he’s jealous of the fact you can openly be in love where he has to hide his relationship with Lisbet from the world. All the while diverting funds from the vodka company to pay for Marna’s and the baby’s expenses by blackmailing the chief accountant who was having a sordid affair of his own with his daughter’s best friend. Have I missed anything?” I’m baffled by this tale of love, lies and deception and I can’t believe Nikolaj and I got caught in the middle of it all.
“Jakob knew he wasn’t going to be able to keep the truth from me for long since Marna refused to falsify the name on her child’s medical records, but he knew he could deeply hurt me by playing us against each other and he did.”
“Wow. This is the most outrageous story I’ve heard in my life. Your parents must be beside themselves.”
“My mom is still defending him. Dad had a different approach. He cut Jakob off completely. He went as far as to draw up legal papers disowning him. He wants nothing to do with Jakob and he made sure none of my brother’s heirs could claim any parts of the vodka company ever. He’s named my oldest sister, Clara, CEO and he’s back managing the day-to-day operations until we sort out the money Jakob diverted.”
“There have been so many dramatic changes.”
“My father was furious. He left Jakob with nothing—no company car, no flat my brother was using as his love nest with Lisbet and Marna—the building has been in our family for generations. My dad stripped him of his company credit cards and he’s removed my brother’s name from any banking documents. My mother pleaded for leniency, but my father reminded her of the many reasons her eldest son should be facing jail time for his unscrupulous actions—just like the chief accountant who was unceremoniously fired.”
“My God,” I gasp. “I understand why you say this has damaged your family. My poor baby, you’ve been through so much. We both have.”
“You know what pissed me off most?” Nikolaj says, interlacing his fingers into mine. “He stole six weeks of my life with you and I’ll never forgive him.”
“But it’s over now,” I say, smiling with relief. “Where is Jakob now if he’s not in jail?”
“The coward asked Marna to marry him and they’ve moved to Sweden where he can escape his crooked past.”
“Wow. What about Lisbet?”
“The affair broke my cousin’s heart. Christian is furious and he’s crushed. It’s going to be a nasty divorce and I have no doubt those kids will suffer greatly.”
I shake my head, still unable to believe everything I’ve heard so far.
“It’s over and we can all move on with our lives now. I want you back, Ciara. Will you have me?”
“Hmph.”
“What?”
“When you stopped calling, emailing and texting, I thought your feelings for me had changed and perhaps…” I stop, unable to allow the words to escape my lips.
“Perhaps?”
“Things change between people when they are far apart. I was afraid you’d discard what we shared in order to focus on your new role as a father.”
“What are you saying, Ciara? Are you skirting around my confession because you stopped loving me in the last six weeks?”
I was so afraid he’d forget all about me and he’d get sucked into his new life I started shutting down my heart again. I push my chair and get up to walk to the glass door overlooking my small New York City garden. I fold my arms across my chest before choosing my words.
How do you answer such a heavy question without pouring your soul out?
What I have to say to him is so profound I’m unable to face him. I stare outside, seeking the courage I need to let him know how the past six weeks have affected me.
“I don’t remember when I started loving you. I think it was when you called so concerned over what Dylan had done in the wee hours of the morning. I knew by the time you had arrived in New York, I didn’t want you to leave. Now I can’t imagine not loving you,” I say, turning my head to hold his loving gaze.
He gets up, strides towards me and embraces me in his strong arms. I never want him to let me go.
“I love you more now than ever before, Ciara. You belong to me and not even Jakob’s evil nature could suffocate my passion for you.”
“You know what’s been the cruelest punishment for me?”
“What?”
“Not feeling you inside me,” I whisper.
“Honey, we can easily put an end to this cruelty.” He grins.
“Why did I have a feeling you’d come up with a witty reply? I hope I’ll still be able to walk tomorrow,” I wink. I lose myself in his eyes as he stares deeply into mine. “Nikolaj, why do you look so serious?”
“Why don’t we do things differently?”
“What did you have in mind? You can’t fu
ck me outside. It’s too cold and the neighbors will call the police.” I laugh.
“I can come up with something better.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s your kinky suggestion?”
“Everything with us has been fast, furious and tumultuous.”
“And you see this as a problem?”
“On the contrary, my love, but I want to savor your body. I’ve been going nuts without you for so long. I’ve been dreaming of this moment every single night since you left me. Now I’m finally holding you in my arms I want to take my time. I want to take you slowly, steady and wholeheartedly.” Shit. “Baby, I want to make love to you.”
“Oh,” I gasp, taken aback by the tenderness of his request.
His words silence me. Sex with Nikolaj has been a godsend, but he’s right, it’s been very rough, unwaveringly passionate and kinkier than my most perverted fantasies. I’ve never wanted to make love to a man—not since Luke. I’ve never allowed myself to get close to the point where I might lose myself, but Nikolaj holds my heart in his hands. As frightened as I am to give myself so completely to him, it’s scarier to think I’ve had to live without him for the past six weeks.
“I know this is a big leap, but I can’t think of anything I’d want more right now.” His smile is warm and inviting, his eyes searching mine for an answer. “Making love to you will give me permission to lose myself in you.”
His words dissolve any hesitation I might have to go there with him. I get on my toes and brush my lips against his.
“Make love to me, Nik,” I say in a whisper.
Nikolaj lifts me in his arms and climbs the stairs to my bedroom. He drops me on the bed and sits next to me with a smile on his face. I’ve never seen him look so vulnerable.
“I would have made an effort had I known you were planning this,” I say, looking around my room to avoid reading the consuming passion in his eyes. Already, my body is tingling, my nipples swollen with anticipation, aching for his touch. It’s been way too long.
“What you’re wearing is perfect because you’re not going to have it on for much longer.” He grins. “I haven’t tasted you in six weeks. I thought I was going to lose my mind.”
“I’ve missed your hands all over my body.”
“Have you?” he says, pulling me closer. “I love Saturdays.”
“Why?”
“I’ve noticed you don’t wear a bra on weekends. I approve,” he announces, lifting my sweater before he starts gently caressing my nipples.
“Ahhh, God,” I exhale, tilting my head back.
“Oh, baby, are you enjoying this too much? Do you want me to stop?”
“Don’t you even think about it,” I say, pulling him closer to me and showering his face with hungry kisses.
“My God, you’re so demanding,” he responds, sliding his tongue between my lips. His kiss lingers, unhurried and tender. I purr into his mouth, enjoying the way he slowly devours me.
“Do you know how much I love you, Nik?”
“Not nearly as much as I love you, baby,” he says, pushing me against the mattress.
He trails my body with his soft lips, caressing every part of me with a lingering touch. I shiver as his tenderness awakens the sexual beast inside me I’ve repressed for way too long. He grabs the waist of my sweatpants and pulls them down until I wiggle out of them completely.
“I’ve missed losing myself between your legs,” he says, tugging my panties aside while holding my gaze with eyes filled with unbridled passion.
I’m so drunk with desire I can only stare at him, in awe of how my body responds to his touch.
“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tasted your sweet pussy in my dreams.” He drops his head between my legs and flirts with my engorged bud with his lips before licking my throbbing pussy.
Oh. My. God. I forgot why I love his mouth so much. “Fuck,” I let out, closing my eyes and fisting the sheets tightly.
“Oh, baby, you’ve missed me, haven’t you?” he grunts between laps.
More than words can say.
I’m used to his dirty talk. He knows his British accent will send me to the edge every time, but this is mind-blowing—I’m his without any restrictions. I peel open my eyes and look down at him, dazed and so turned on. His piercing blue eyes are locked onto mine as he eats my pussy with a gentleness I’ve yet to experience.
Jesus, it’s not going to take me much to come.
I contort my body, trying to subdue the intoxicating sensation of his lips pulling my clit into his mouth. I cry out his name, unable to contain my need to lose control. “Nik.” When he moans against my aching pussy, I pull his hair. My eyes roll back into my head as I surrender to an intense wave of pleasure washing over me.
“Don’t stop,” I beg, moving my hips against his lips as I push his head against me, forcing him to take me to the brink. Slow and steady can be out-of-this-world amazing.
He laps harder and faster.
“Jesus,” I hiss when he curls one finger inside my wetness and another inside my backside—he’s giving me the best oral sex of my life, he has one finger playing with my asshole and another masterfully stroking my G-spot. “Fuck,” I shout before losing myself, totally consumed by my orgasm.
Slap.
“Bad girl. You came with your eyes closed. You know how much I love watching you come undone.”
“I’m sorry,” I pant. “I’m out of practice, I guess.” I laugh, still struggling to catch my breath.
“So no other men in the past six weeks?” He’s kissing the lower part of my tummy and I bite my lip to hide a smile. He’s adorable when he pretends to be jealous.
I look down at him and realize how much I belong to him. I would never have been able to be with another man.
“Nah, the life of a successful New York City designer is so full. Finding a new lover was up there on the list right after taking over Manhattan.”
“You don’t say,” he mocks, willing to indulge me in my lie.
“Seriously, Nik, I was waiting for you.” I reach out and lovingly caress his face.
“Wow. You must have quite the soft spot for me.”
“Maybe.”
“I’ll take your answer as a yes.”
He crawls up on the bed next to me. His hair is so messy and I can’t help but laugh as I reach out to tame his mane.
“Why are you still dressed and I’m naked?”
“You’re partially naked. You’re still wearing your thong.”
“Yeah. Good point.” We both laugh.
“So…” he lets out, staring at the ceiling.
“So… what?”
“How do you like slow and steady?”
“It’s pretty freaking amazing, but…” I’m still expecting fireworks here.
“But what?”
“It’s not over yet, right?”
He turns to the side, folds his arm underneath his head and trails a finger from my belly button all the way up to my lower lip. He smiles at me before parting my lips, forcing his finger into my mouth. “What more do you want?” he asks suggestively.
“Making love doesn’t exclude you filling me with your cock, right?” God, I can’t go on another minute without his dick shoved deep inside me.
“You tell me, love,” he says grabbing my hand and pressing it against his crotch. He’s so hard.
“Please don’t make me wait any longer. I’m desperate here.”
“I love it when you beg,” he responds with a sly smile, getting to his feet. “Let’s get you fully undressed first.” He slides off my panties and I yank up my hips to allow him to remove them completely, unable to wait to ride his erection. I sit up and reach out for his belt and unzip his jeans.
“Don’t rush it, baby. I’m not going anywhere.” He smiles, fisting my hair.
“I’m too hungry for you to take your time,” I declare, tugging at his zipper.
He pulls his grey sweater over his head as I bend over to shove his jeans and briefs
all the way to the floor until he steps out of them. When I fold back up, his magnificent nine-inch cock greets me. Jesus, I’ve missed this so much.
He lifts my chin before cradling my face between his hands and I stare up at him. “I’ve been dreaming of this moment for six weeks.”
“Me too, baby,” he whispers, bending down and brushing his lips against mine. “Now get on your hands and knees.”
What? “I thought we were taking it nice and slow?”
“Who says doggie style can’t be nice and slow?”
Hell, yeah. I get on all fours and yank my ass up as high as I possibly can to give him a full view as I play with my clit.
There’s no way I’m already ready? I can’t believe I’m wet again. Damn, I can’t get enough of him.
I turn around and flash him a come-and-get-it look and I’m taken aback by the yearning I read in his eyes.
“Nikolaj, fuck me nice and slow, but please make me come hard,” I implore, wiggling my butt.
“It would be rude of me not to give you what you need, baby.” He slides onto the bed behind me and places his hand on my hips before pulling me closer to him. He slowly pushes inside before forcing his way into me. His hard cock fills me up and I grip the sheets tightly, gasping and clenching him deep inside my wetness. “Jesus,” he grunts before leaning over and dropping one hand against the wall in front of the bed, holding me steady with his other hand.
I’m trapped. There’s nowhere for me to go. I can only enjoy the ride.
“Fuck, your pussy feels so good right now,” he blurts out as he pounds me deeper while he slides his hand up to cup my hanging breasts.
This is totally different. It’s not our usual frantic pace where he rams me so hard I won’t be able to walk for days. His thrusts are long, steady and deep. I gyrate my ass as I push myself closer against his body to allow him to fill me whole. God, I’ve missed this so much.
Sinful Desires Page 13
