“Ok…I’ll see you back at home. We can have our own private celebration then, huh?”
“You got it, handsome.”
She ended the call and sat back against the seat, feeling guilty for lying to Mark for the first time in her life. Things really were changing, and boy, were they taking some getting used to.
***
Daniel had never felt so nervous. Well, ok, maybe he had. Just before he’d made love to Stevie for the first time he’d felt more nervous than this, but this was bad, because this time he had absolutely no idea what her reaction would be. And the answer she gave him would determine just what it was he was going to do next.
The doorbell ringing caused a fresh wave of nerves to wash over him and he took a second to compose himself before he walked out into the hallway, slowly opening the huge wooden front door. And there she stood, still as beautiful in that wild, almost dishevelled way of hers in a strapless black top that showed off her incredible array of tattoos, skinny jeans and the ever present biker boots, her short, white blonde hair falling over one eye as she looked at him.
“Well? Am I coming in or are we gonna do this on your doorstep? Because I’m almost sure you don’t want the neighbours to get wind of this.”
“Oh God, yes, sorry. Come in, please.”
She looked at him as he closed the door behind her. Whatever was going on here he was as nervous as hell. “You gonna tell me what this is all about?”
“Are you…are you ok?”
“Why shouldn’t I be?”
He moved closer to her, but she stayed exactly where she was. “I just…I’m sorry, Stevie. What’s happened…what you went through…”
“I’m over all the talking, Daniel, so let’s not go there, ok? I’m fine. Everything’s fine. Are we gonna move out of the hallway or what? I could do with a drink.”
“Sorry…yes, we’ll go into the living room.”
She followed him into a surprisingly small but cosy reception room that may well have been in a home in Los Angeles but it looked very much like it belonged in an old English country house. Stevie guessed it had the mark of Samantha Madison written all over it.
“Erm, would you like a beer? Or…or I’ve got wine or a nice Scottish whisky…”
“I couldn’t care where it comes from, Daniel; just pour me a glass, will you? And then tell me what’s going on here. What do you want?”
He looked at her as he handed her a tumbler of whisky, his eyes locking onto hers. “I want you.”
She stared straight at him, not moving as he stood there in front of her, reaching out to gently touch her face and she flinched slightly, but she didn’t pull away.
“You can’t have me, Daniel. That was made perfectly clear. Angus was right all along, you and me - it was never going to work.”
“I can’t have you if I want to stay Prime Minister, that’s true.” He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. Just touching her made him feel alive again, looking into those amazing blue eyes was like falling straight back into that wonderful heaven she took him to. And he’d missed it.
But she suddenly pushed his hand away, walking away from him and over to the table where the various bottles of spirits were laid out, pouring herself more whisky.
“Just tell me what the fuck is going on, Daniel, because I haven’t got time for this.”
She was confused now, and angry, although she couldn’t quite work out why.
“I love you, Stevie. I never stopped loving you.”
She swung round to look at him. “And what about Samantha? Aren’t you back together? Because that’s what all the papers are saying.”
“I never stopped loving you, Stevie. I have tried, believe me, I have tried to make it work again with Samantha but I just can’t do it.”
She knocked most of her drink back in one. “That’s not my problem, Daniel.”
“Come back to me, Stevie. Please. I love you, so much. I love you. It just isn’t going to work with Samantha, not anymore. Not after you.”
She shook her head, suddenly feeling unexpected tears well up in her eyes as she looked at him. It was strange, and a little bit upsetting seeing him again because she’d loved him too. She’d really loved him. But she couldn’t stay in that world. It wasn’t her, it never would be.
“It won’t work,” she whispered. “And you know that, Daniel. It won’t work, it can’t work…”
“And if I give it all up?”
She stared at him, more confused than ever now. “Give what up?”
“The role of Prime Minister, politics, the lot. I’d give every single bit of it up if it meant we could be together, I told you that once before, remember? I told you I would give all of this up in a heartbeat if that was the only way we could be together, and if that’s what it takes to make it work then, believe me, it would be worth it. If that’s what it takes for you to come back to me then I’ll do it in that heartbeat and I wouldn’t look back. Because I love you.”
“No, Daniel. No.” She was still shaking her head, the tears now falling slowly down her face as she looked at him because he was serious, she could see that. He meant every word but it was never going to happen. “You say it would be worth it, but it still wouldn’t work.”
“Why not? Of course it would work. We can leave all that stuffiness and protocol behind us; we can live in a world where we both feel comfortable…”
“That place doesn’t exist, Daniel. It doesn’t exist. It isn’t there. I’ll never be comfortable in your world and you sure as hell would never be comfortable in mine and there is no middle ground, don’t you see?”
He leaned back against the wall, still looking at her. He didn’t want to take his eyes off her. He wasn’t ready to do that just yet.
“No. I don’t see. I want to be with you, Stevie, more than I want to run a fucking country…”
“That’s crap, Daniel, and you know it is. You’ve wanted to be Prime Minister all your life so don’t stand there and tell me that great sex is worth sacrificing that for. Don’t do that.”
“Great sex? We had more than great sex, Stevie.”
“Did we? Really? We were only together a few months, Daniel, hardly long enough to know that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, so this is never gonna happen. I won’t let it happen. I won’t let you give up everything you’ve worked so hard for just because you think you still love me. Because in the end you’d end up resenting me for it, and you know that. I’m not worth it, Daniel.”
“You are,” he said quietly, walking back towards her. “You really are.”
She watched as he came closer, knowing she should back off and get out of here because this was ridiculous, this wasn’t happening, but she couldn’t move. It was like she was rooted to the spot.
“Everything, Stevie. I’d give up everything. We can move away, anywhere you like, start again. We can start a whole new life…”
“Jesus, Daniel, what kind of a make-believe world are you living in? You know you can’t do that. This is all just some stupid fantasy you’ve created in your head…”
He shut her up with a kiss, a kiss that took her completely by surprise but a kiss that she found herself giving into and she just fell against him, his arms catching her, holding her close. Like he’d wanted to hold her for so long.
It was wrong, it shouldn’t be happening, but she hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye to this man and those feelings she’d kept locked away were re-surfacing now, whether she wanted them to or not. They were washing over her with an intensity that she couldn’t control as his hands slid down her jeans, touching her skin, and she gasped out loud, knowing what was coming next, and maybe she needed it to happen. Maybe they both did. As a final goodbye.
“I’m not coming back, Daniel,” she whispered, pulling away slightly. It seemed only fair to give him the option of leaving it here, without anything physical happening because she didn’t want to hurt him again. She’d never wanted to hurt him at all.
He looked at her, gently brushing her cheek with his fingertips. He knew that. Now. He knew she wasn’t coming back. Maybe he’d always known it, but he’d had to try. He’d never have been able to live with himself if he hadn’t tried.
“I know.” His breathing was heavy, and although he knew it was going to hurt like hell if he made love to her now, he needed this one final time to put an end to it all, and she understood that. She got that, they both knew the score. One final time and they could get on with their lives.
And it was both a heartbreakingly beautiful yet strangely calm experience, making love to her again. He made her scream out with pleasure and cry with the painful emotion of it all but it was a necessary act, something that needed to be done, and when it was over, when he left her body for that final time it felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. But another one quickly replaced it. The weight of another situation that he now knew was inevitable.
He sat up, staring straight ahead, suddenly knowing just what it was that he had to do next. Things had never felt clearer in his mind. “I’m leaving her, Stevie.”
She sat up behind him, her arms circling his waist. “Even though I’m not coming back?”
“I was going to leave her anyway. The fact you’re not coming back has just made everything clearer, that’s all.” He pulled her round to face him, gently stroking the hair from her eyes, kissing her slowly. “Taking somebody back just because they fit into some stereotypical image people have isn’t right. And it isn’t fair, on her or me. Samantha may be the perfect politician’s wife, and she’s a good and beautiful woman, but…I just don’t love her anymore, Stevie. I have tried to get that back, I’ve tried so hard, but I can’t do it. It’s gone, and I’m sad about that because we had a lot of great years together, but…it’s gone.”
“Can’t you just give it a bit more time?”
He shook his head, pulling the sheet she was holding away from her so he could see her naked body one more time. He wanted to take it in, remember how perfect she was.
“And the politics?”
He smiled, letting his hand run lightly down over her hip. “I’ll stick with that. For as long as they want me. It’ll keep me busy, and I need that right now. I need to be busy.”
She took his hand, wrapping her fingers tightly around his. “I’m getting married, Daniel.”
He looked at her. “Married? You…you and Mark?”
She nodded and he felt his stomach sink. She never really was going to come back to him. He’d left it too late. “If I’d asked you earlier…”
She shook her head. “It wouldn’t have made any difference, Daniel. I love my crazy world of rock stars and parties and hanging out in bars. I should never have left it.”
“Do you…do you regret it? You and me?”
She shook her head again. “No. Of course I don’t. I loved you, Daniel; I want you to know that. Those feelings were real; they were very, very real. But Mark – he was always there. He was always the one; I just couldn’t see it before. I was too stubborn. And so was he.”
Daniel stroked her fingers with his thumb, looking down at their joined hands.
“Does he know where you are?”
“I was with you long enough to know the drill, Daniel. No, he has no idea where I am. But I really should be getting back.”
She let go of his hand and got up, his eyes following her incredible body as she pulled on her clothes, running her fingers through her hair as she got ready to leave his life. Again.
He got up too, walking over to her and pulling her into his arms.
“You know…you know before, when you said Angus was right? What did you mean?”
“He never wanted us to be together, Daniel. He kept telling me he would tear us apart, that I wasn’t right for your world, and I really wanted to prove him wrong but, how could I? When he was telling the truth.”
“He…he spoke to you about this? He never said…”
“Anything to you? He wouldn’t, would he?”
“Why didn’t you tell me, Stevie?”
“Because I could handle him, Daniel. I didn’t care what he thought. I only cared about you. And so did he, in his own twisted kind of way.”
He took one last look into those startling blue eyes, so many emotions still flying round inside him.
She gently ran her fingers over his mouth, kissing him slowly.
“This is it then,” he said, holding onto her tight, not wanting to let her go.
“Looks like it, Mr. Prime Minister.”
He smiled, loosening his grip on her, feeling her leave his arms and a tight pain shot across his chest. “Goodbye, Stevie.”
She finally let go of him, walking backwards towards the door, determined not to cry again. It was over now, it was done. This is the way it had to be. The only way both of them could move forward.
“Goodbye, Daniel.”
And as the door closed behind her, Daniel Madison sat down on the bed, put his head in his hands, and cried.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Connor looked at his seventeen year old son, standing there with his newly-acquired tattoo and a whole new attitude and he couldn’t help thinking how much he’d grown up over the past few months. Almost eighteen and he really had turned into quite a young man, who appeared to have inherited his mother’s forthright manner and determination to get what he wanted.
But Connor was finding it hard to cope with. Luke had just told him, in no uncertain terms, just what is was that he wanted to do with his life, and although Connor should have seen it coming when he’d asked for that tattoo, it had still come as a shock. Because Luke wanted to be a roadie, just like his mum. He wanted to be in that world, he wanted to live that life and what could Connor do? If he told him it was a bad idea would Luke resent him? And if he gave him his support, what happened next?
“Luke, I…Jesus, I don’t know what to say.”
Luke sat down at the table, a look of excitement crossing his face that Connor hadn’t seen since he’d got him that iPod for his sixteenth birthday.
“Come on, dad. Stevie said I was a natural, and I felt it too. That whole vibe, just being around those people…it’s where I want to be!”
Connor sat back in his chair, running a hand through his hair. “Look I…I don’t know what you want me to do, Luke. We can have a word with the college, see if we can get your course changed to something more…”
“I want to work with Stevie, dad. I want to learn from her. Out there, on the job. The guys who work with her say she’s the best, she can train me up, can’t she?”
Connor didn’t know what to say. This was a complete out-of-nowhere moment for him and he had no idea what to do next.
“I don’t know, Luke…have you spoken to her about this?”
He shook his head, fiddling with the countless leather wrist bands he was wearing. Connor leaned forward, clasping his hands together.
“You know she’s moving to Los Angeles, don’t you? Permanently I mean. Now her and Mark are getting married they’re going to make L.A. their base.”
“I know that, dad.”
Of course he knew that. Who didn’t? It was all over the papers that his mum was marrying one of the most famous rock stars in the world. They’d done this incredible photo shoot for a rock magazine that had hit the news stands last week and when Luke had seen it he’d found it hard to believe that the incredibly gorgeous woman draping herself all over Mark Cassidy was actually his mum. But she was. And Mark Cassidy was going to be his step-dad, how cool was that? He’d suddenly found himself with more mates than he knew what to do with, every one of them green with envy at the new life he now had. But he wanted to do more than just visit his mum and Mark. He wanted to do more than just be a roadie like her. He wanted to be a roadie with her. So this was the bit he’d been dreading telling his dad. But it was what he wanted to do and he was going to do it. If Stevie said yes.
“I know she’s moving to L.A. But th
e thing is, dad…I want to move out there with her.”
***
Samantha could see it in his face. The minute he’d walked into the kitchen it was like history repeating itself in the worst possible way but she knew it was pointless even trying to fight it this time. He’d tried, she knew that. He’d given it his best shot, but the look on his face told her he’d now admitted defeat. And there wasn’t a thing she could do about it.
Daniel sensed Samantha’s reaction, she knew what was coming, and even though that made it easier for him in some respects, it didn’t ease the pain of doing this to her a second time.
“It was never going to work, was it Daniel? Not really.”
He shook his head, putting his hands in his pockets. “I tried, Samantha. You have to believe that I tried my very, very best, I really did.”
She smiled, just to try and stop the tears from falling because that was one thing she wasn’t going to do. Cry. Not this time. Her life wasn’t going to be over just because Daniel Madison didn’t want her. Again. It might stall for a bit, it might need some time to get back on track, but it would. Eventually. Samantha Madison was a tough one underneath that prim, upper-class exterior. She could cope. She had no choice.
“I know you did.” She looked at him, her determination to stay strong was there but it was tiring. So tiring, when all she wanted to do was get out of there, but she had to know. She had to. “Have you…have you seen her?”
He nodded, pushing his hands deeper into his pockets.
“So, is she…?”
Daniel shook his head. “No. She’s not coming back. She’s getting married. To Mark Cassidy.”
That sent a wave of sadness crashing over Samantha because this seemed so pointless now. This was happening for no reason this time. There was nobody else, but then, there was really, wasn’t there? She may not be here in person - not in the physical sense - but she was still coming between them, and now it seemed that she always would. She’d taken her husband away from her and now, even though she didn’t want him anymore, Samantha couldn’t have him either. And that was something she was just going to have to deal with.
See You at the Show Page 31
