Stella remained quiet.
“You okay?”
“Sure.”
“She asked about you. I told her you were still in school. She said she tried to contact you a couple of times, but you’ve never responded.”
“Dad…”
“I’m just saying, Stella. She cares about how you’re doing.”
“I’m glad you told her I was fine then.” Stella cleared her throat. “Listen, I’m pulling into the school. We’ll talk later,” she said, cutting off the conversation.
After several weeks of attending her last year of law school, Stella could agree that the third year of law school was a huge snorefest. Her classes were interesting, but they were all papers, so no big pressure to keep up with reading or stress about a final. She was still working for the Marshals and that kept her occupied most of the time. Stella felt almost normal. One Saturday, Patrick and Billy invited some of their friends over for the Penn State football game that night and she was trying to figure out if she was going to make herself scarce or what. She was checking her email when she heard her name called from the stairs. Stella put her laptop down and walked over to stairs.
Walking down the stairs was Cory, the manager at the tattoo parlor where she and Patrick get their tattoos. He had a tight Penn State shirt on with jeans hanging low on his hips. “Hey Stella.” He kissed her on the cheek.
“Hey, Cory. What’s up?”
“I was wondering if I could take that picture of your tat? We’ve been trying to get it forever.” He pointed at his camera and looked around, trying to find a good background.
“Oh, sure.” She’d told Richard they could put up a picture of her tattoo after she got it done and hadn’t found the time to go back.
“You got any clear wall space?” Her room was covered with poster and pictures. “I love Fight Club,” he said as he passed the movie poster on her wall.
“Um, just over the bed,” she blushed. Cory was good looking and had quite the reputation as being a ladies’ man.
“Okay, let’s go over there.” Cory walked the length of the room in to the cubby where her unmade bed was positioned. “This will work.”
“Okay,” Stella was a little uncomfortable, but followed him.
“Take your shirt and bra off.” He was messing with his camera and didn’t see the look on her face until he looked up. “Oh come on, I won’t bite.” Cory smiled.
“Okay, just hurry. I don’t want to be down here shirtless for too long.”
“I’ve never heard that one before.” Cory laughed and started clicking the camera attempting to get lighting and flash right.
Stella pulled her sweater over her head, she wasn’t wearing a bra. “Where do you want me?”
“Wow, Stella.” Cory cleared his throat, “Get on the bed and face the wall.”
She gave him a look of caution. Covering her boobs, she got on her knees and faced the wall.
“Okay, take your pants off.”
Stella burst out laughing. “Negative. Take your fucking picture and hurry up.”
“Kay, seriously... Turn your entire body to face the wall, but look over your left shoulder. Don’t look at the camera though.”
Stella did as he asked and looked to the side. She held her left hand over her nipples and right hand straight down. Cory moved around taking a million shots, giving her instructions.
“El?” She hadn’t heard George come down the stairs, but he was staring at her with murder in his eyes.
“George...” she breathed. “What’re you doing here?”
“Sorry to interrupt,” he growled with teeth gritted together.
Cory seeing the look George was giving him held his hands up. “Oh no, man, wrong idea.”
“The idea that you are taking a picture of El with no top on is wrong?” George was clenching and unclenching his fists looking from Cory to Stella.
“George. Cory is from the tattoo parlor. I agreed when I got my tattoo that I’d let them they display it at the shop. Cory was just taking those pictures.” She was climbing off the bed still covering herself.
“You can leave,” George told Cory, not looking anywhere but at Stella.
Cory looked at Stella, she shrugged. He held up his hands. “I think I got a couple of good ones. I’ll email you. Thanks Stella.”
“Tell Richard no problem,” she smiled weakly and then glared at George.
Cory had just turned the corner of the stairs when George pounced on her. He pushed her on the bed and claimed her as his own.
“I don’t want anyone else seeing you like this.” George caressed her breasts and then kissed each one.
“George, I didn’t know he was coming or you either for that matter.” She gasped as he continued to kiss her roughly making her body feel like it was on fire. She moaned loudly, “We can’t.”
“We are,” George pulled her jeans down and was kissing her hip bones moving farther south.
“There are a ton of people upstairs,” Stella was having difficulty collecting her thoughts. “I don’t have a door...”
George picked her up and moved quickly into the bathroom, kicking the door closed. “El, tell me it’s only me.”
Stella gasped as he shoved her against the wall and struggled with his pants. “You,” she couldn’t get out anything else as he was touching her everywhere.
“You what,” he demanded.
Stella legs were wrapped tightly around him as he was having his way with her. “Only you,” she barely whispered.
“Say it again, Love, say it again.” His mouth moved against her ear.
“Only you, George,” Her brain was hurting from him making her so vulnerable. She didn’t want to lay it out there, but it was so hard to think with him inside her.
“Good.”
Chapter Thirty-One
She was lying in bed with the silliest smile on her face. “George you’re tickling me,” she squirmed under his touch. “What are you doing?”
He had a red sharpie marker and was drawing on her back, “I’m having fun.”
“With what?” She tried to look over her shoulder to see what he was drawing. He was holding her down so she couldn’t move around, she felt the cold tip of the marker on her shoulder blade. “I hope you aren’t drawing circles on my fat like they do in sororities.”
“I want to tell you that you are beautiful, you know that? Inside and out.” He kissed her left shoulder blade, “but you are broken. I plan on fixing you.”
“Oh really, how do you plan on doing that?” she asked without moving.
He leaned down and kissed her lovingly on the back of her neck, up slowly to behind her ear. A shutter went through her entire body. “Very slowly, and one piece at a time, love.”
She closed her eyes. It’s too much, she thought. She was letting him in and it would not end well, she knew that. He was getting really close, too close. He held her still and drew a little while longer on her back and then kissed her tattoo. Bending to her left ear he whispered. “I promise.”
Stella got up to clear her head and went into the bathroom. She was trying to see what he had drawn on her back. He came to the doorway of her bathroom watching her with a smile on his face. He grabbed the top of the door ledge and hung onto it, amused. Stella stopped what she was doing and looked at him, clearly turned on. He used his fingertips to skim down her back all the way to her tailbone. Her nipples responded immediately. He grabbed her and pushed her up against the small portion of the wall in her bathroom that was available. Stella wrapped both legs around him and gasped as he entered her.
After they were done, they got into the shower together. Stella was trying to squeeze past George on the outside of the shower when she saw the outline of the red heart he had drawn on her back, now staining her bathroom wall. She turned to address it, but was caught off guard by his mouth and roaming hands.
“El?” Patrick yelled from the side of her bedroom. “You decent?”
“Fuck,” she sa
id exasperated. “Patrick, I’m in the shower.”
“Nothing I haven’t seen,” his voice coming closer. George’s eyebrows shot up in a question.
“I’m not alone. GET OUT!” Stella pulled the shower curtain making sure Patrick couldn’t see in.
“Who you in there with?” Patrick called, mocking her.
“I swear...” Stella looked at George, who was laughing silently. She hit him playfully, “It’s not funny.”
George kissed her again and then turned her around, taking care to wash every inch of her. “You’re beautiful when you’re frustrated.”
Although sex with George started off a few times a week, it changed to every night. Stella had not relented on her policy that he couldn’t spend the night. George was wearing her down though, staying later and later. One night five months into their thing her cell phone started ringing, it was 2:00 am. She ripped her lips off George and blew a deep breath out getting her bangs out of her eyes.
“Hold on,” she pushed herself off the bed and grabbed her phone. “Dad?” Her voice broke with concern.
“It’s your Mom, she’s been in any accident. She’s in the ICU at Grady. She was in a wreck, a fucking tractor trailer, Stella.” George moved behind her, wrapping his arms around her.
“Is she okay?” Stella’s voice was small.
“She...God... Stella I have no fucking idea.”
“I’ll be there tomorrow.”
“Call me on your way,” her Dad’s voice was unrecognizable. “Stella I love you.”
“I love you too.” She hung up the phone and shrugged out of George’s grasp. Talking to herself, “this is just like fucking Jamie.”
“Who’s Jamie?”
Her eyes snapped to George’s like she had just remembered he was there. “You should go, George.”
“No, what’s going on?” Closing the space between them he stood as close as he could get without touching her. “Is it your mom?”
A tear fell from one eye, “Yes.”
“What can I do?” George tentatively ran his fingertips down her cheek, wiping away her tear.
“You should go,” she answered.
“Anything but that, El.” Backing away from his touch she pulled her suitcase out and threw it on the bed. Stella began throwing clothes in the suitcase, not looking at him.
“What am I going to say, George? Sure drive me down to see my mom, who might be dead. Dad this is George, we’re fucking.” She looked at him, his face showing hurt. After a few minutes of them staring at one another, she pulled the closest shirt over her head and walked up stairs.
Stella knocked on Patrick’s door. It cracked open, “What’s up,” his eyes widening.
“My mom’s been in an accident, I’m leaving as soon as possible in the morning.”
“I’ll go with you. Get some sleep I’ll wake you at five.” He shut the door. He’s always so robotic in a crisis, she thought. She turned around and saw George standing at the bottom of the stairs. “You headed out?”
“No.” He pulled Stella to him and breathed her in, “No.” George walked her back to her bed, peeled off her shirt, and lifted her off her feet.
“Not really in the mood, George,” she said without life.
Laying her on the bed, he laid next to her and held her until she fell asleep. At 4:50, he kissed her awake. For a minute she kissed him back until she woke up. “What...”
“El...” he pushed himself off the bed and slipped his pants on, “Let me help. Please.”
“Fuck, George.” She rolled over showing him her bare ass. She left her head down for a whole minute hoping he would just leave.
“Please.” George pleaded.
“Fine. Can you come let Coop out?” Stella reached as far as she could without getting out of bed and pulled her bag toward her.
“Okay. How many times a day?”
“At least three. Run with him if you would. I’ll leave instructions on feeding him.” She didn’t turn around when he kissed her cheek and left.
The nine-hour drive to Atlanta was long and mostly silent, just like when Patrick drove her to Jamie’s funeral. George texted her almost every hour. It was exhausting. She was not cut out for a “relationship” and this just solidified it.
“El,” Patrick put his arm across her shoulders. “Your mom’ll be okay.”
“You don’t know that Patrick, don’t make statements that you don’t know about.” Stella lashed out at him, but he understood and took it.
“I took a couple of days off work, so there is no hurry back,” Patrick said ignoring her last comment.
Stella looked at him, “Thanks. You know... you’re always coming to my rescue.”
“Pretty much,” he glanced at her.
“Why?”
“You’re in desperate need of rescue on a consistent basis.”
Stella looked at her hands she clasped in her lap. “I’m sorry.”
“For what,” he asked.
“For always needing to be rescued... by you.”
“Don’t be sorry for that, El, you’re the sister I never had. I’d do anything for you, you know that.”
“I wish you didn’t have to do anything for me Patrick.” She sighed and blew her bangs out of her face. “I can’t seem to get right... you know. I’m starting to feel a little more normal. I guess getting laid helps.” Stella looked out the window as they passed from Virginia to North Carolina.
“Getting laid always helps.” Patrick smiled.
Stella’s phone beeped. “Oh My GOD, if George texts me again I will be getting laid by someone else...”
Mom’s up. She’s okay.
“It’s my dad, my mom woke up.” She felt like a weight lifted off her back. “She’s going to be okay.” She let one tear fall down her face before she shook it off and smiled.
“See, I’m always right. You should know that by now.” Patrick pulled her into a sideways hug.
She and Patrick stayed in Atlanta for two days before heading back to D.C. They hung out at the hospital pretty much the entire time. Stella’s mother had a broken femur and a concussion, but was set to be released the next week.
Texting George that she and Patrick were headed home, she slung her bag over her shoulder and shuffled through the humid, depressing Georgia heat to her car. She sighed, only three steps out of the house and sweat was rolling down her back. Patrick walked out of the front door with her dad, shaking his hand. Patrick smiled at Stella and then saluted her father. “Ready?” Stella asked as he pulled the door shut.
“Roger.”
She laughed. “You know, for the past four years you have been the most important person in my life.” She reversed the car and made her way toward the highway. Looking straight ahead, “I know I don’t say it enough, thanks.”
“What was that again?” He smirked at her.
“You heard me, jackass.”
“Oh, that’s what I thought you said.”
Patrick was letting Stella drive the first leg of the trip while he was getting work done. Stella let her mind wander. She would have to do something about George when she got back. He was treating her like a girlfriend; she was not his girlfriend.
“Whatcha thinking about over there?” Patrick looked up from his iPad.
“Just trying to figure out what to do with George.” Stella blew the bangs out of her eyes.
“What do you mean?” Patrick put down his IPad and stared at the road.
“I really don’t think I can do whatever it is we’re doing anymore. It’s getting hard.” Stella stared straight ahead.
“Wait, are you serious?” Patrick rubbed his shaved head. “It’s getting hard? What’s hard about it? He does whatever you want him to.”
Her head snapped over to Patrick, “Um he most certainly does not. He keeps pushing me Patrick. He’s pushing me...”
“Pushing you?”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure I can explain, I’m just not ready for what he wants and he doesn
’t seem to care about that.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?”
“No. It’s not. I’m fine with just sex and nothing else. I can’t do anything else.”
“El, you have been doing everything else since you hooked up with George.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
After she got back from Atlanta, George began routinely sleeping with his hand on her tattoo, like he was trying to put her back together or pretend there wasn’t a hole in her heart. Stella stretched and shifted so that his hand fell from her back. George pulled Stella into his chest and inhaled her hair.
“What time is it?” Stella whispered.
“It’s five,” George smoothed her hair out of her face. He leaned into her and kissed her mouth gently. “You want me to leave?”
“No...” Stella ran her hand over George’s chest. “But, I need you to leave. I’m sorry.” Stella whispered.
George gathered her into his arms and whispered in her ear, “What’s two hours, El? Let me stay.”
“It’s what I need.”
He sighed and turned over on his back, “You’re worth it,” he said. He had only been asleep for a couple of hours and he had dark circles under his eyes.
With both hands on his chest she could barely make out his eyes in the dark. “That’s doubtful.”
George sighed and kissed her one more time, “Please know I want to sleep with you and wake up with you, okay.”
“Okay.” Stella blew her bangs out of her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
George sat up and walked in the bathroom and shut the door. Stella got up and let Cooper out the back door. She felt his arms wrap around her and it soothed some of her unease.
“Do you always walk around naked in your house? You live with two guys. You’re the best roommate ever.” She could hear his smile.
“I’ve actually heard that before,” she said.
“Can I see you later?”
“Sure, I can always use free drinks.”
“I mean maybe lunch before I go in?” George tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.
“No, I’ve got a paper. I have to decide on my topic and I haven’t even started yet.” She pulled him closer and whispered, “I’ll definitely see you tomorrow night though.”
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