Leo stared at me with his familiar and concerned eyes.
“I’m perfectly fine. Honest.”
I absolutely hated lying to Leo and keeping secrets from him, but I hadn't even known what really happened myself, so how was I supposed to explain it all to him?
“Okay,” he conceded. “I just wanted to check for myself and see that you were all right in person. You know how that goes, right Becca?” Leo questioned me with a smirk and a wink. I assumed he was recalling all the mornings I knocked at his bedroom window, checking that he had made it safely through the night after his scary incident in the river. We locked eyes and I felt the same heat that had overcome me this morning. What in the world was that? Did he feel it too?
“Yeah, I know.” I grinned, playfully returning his wink. What was I doing? Had I really just flirted with Leo? Knock it off, I told myself. Yes, Leo's definitely my type. Yes, that cheesy, gorgeous grin of his got to me every time. And yes, I'd felt a shiver run up my spine each time we had accidentally brushed against one another, but that was just hormones, right? Instinct took over and before I thought otherwise I asked, “Hey, do you wanna take a walk with me?”
“You sure you feel up to that?”
“Of course, I told you I’m fine. Let’s walk back to the woods, ‘kay,” I said as more of a statement than an actual question.
My mom headed back toward the house with my bag and books, but not before she had given me a stern warning that I needed to be back to the house in absolutely no more than fifteen minutes and Leo should head back to school immediately after.
Leo and I walked through the field of freshly cut, straw-colored cornstalks behind my house. I saw Leo’s house just across the road behind us. In the opposite direction, straight in our path about a hundred yards ahead, was the first row of trees which began the front edge of the woods.
The peaceful sounds and happy chirps, from the birds in the trees before us, had grown louder as a gust of fresh autumn breeze ruffled a few of the remaining fire, golden, and rust-colored leaves still left on the baring branches, destined to fall within the next few weeks. I pulled my sweater tighter around my waist, and I yanked the sleeves of the warm fabric down to cover my hands, far enough to where only the tips of my chewed, unpainted fingernails were visible. After a few minutes of wordless silence passed, the only sounds being the crunch of our steps and the ruffle of the birds and breeze in the trees, Leo motioned me to stop and looked me directly in the eyes.
When he still didn’t speak, I finally asked, “Leo? What is it?”
“I just wanted you to know, if you don’t already, that you can tell me anything,” he paused for a moment. “You know that don’t you?”
The quiver in his voice had taken me off guard a bit. It wasn’t like him to be nervous or timid, but I trusted Leo with my life. I thought it strange when uneasiness set into parts of my body, and the air between us had suddenly grown tense and uncomfortable.
“Yeah, of course I know that,” I eventually replied, still confused.
“I just wanted to make sure you know that you can tell me anything. No judgments, okay?”
“Sure,” I responded, uneasiness still thick in the air.
“And if I ever need to tell you anything then I could do that too, right?” Leo added.
“Sure,” I'd answered quickly and a little too high-pitched for my liking. “You can tell me anything, no matter what it is or how good or bad, of course.”
That turn, from what our usual conversations entailed, was a bit of a surprise;not what I expected from the walk at all.
Leo throwing out those type of comments and questions, out of the clear blue sky, had thrown me off and made me think that he was perhaps more intuitive than I’d ever given him credit. Although he'd made me slightly nervous, I had to admit he'd peaked my ever growing curiosity, too.
“Do you have something that maybe you want to tell me?” I had thrown back at him, half teasing.
“Okay, here it goes. I was just wondering…”
Oh, wow. There really was something else beside my so-called fainting spell on Leo’s mind.
Leo paused for a very long moment before he turned to look back toward my house. The idea that he appeared to have as much chaos clouding his mind as I did, had me baffled. The way he was acting was so out of character for him. What was going on? Could he have really known about my visions?
When he didn’t say anything more I was forced to ask, “Leo, you were wondering?”
Did he really have an indication that something besides a little bit of dizziness and a fainting spell had gotten the best of me? A million thoughts raced through my mind when he turned back around and looked me dead in the eyes again, full of confidence and somewhat acting like his normal self.
“Becca?” he asked, a bead of sweat had formed on his left temple.
“Yeah? What’s going on? You’re starting to worry me.”
“Bec, I know we’ve been friends for a long time.”
“Yeah, like our whole lives,” I giggled.
I was completely at a loss for words now. Millions of thoughts and possibilities ran through my mind about what Leo could've possibly known. What was he trying to get out of the dragged out conversation we were trying to have?
I wanted to tell him so badly to just spit it out, but didn’t for fear of what could be coming. I had so little time to process anything that had happened today for myself, let alone be forced to attempt an explanation to Leo.
“Will you go to the Homecoming dance with me?” he blurted out. Leo let out a sigh that he must’ve been holding in since he first pulled into my driveway.
“Um, that’s what you wanted to ask me all this time out here?”
I was relieved, at first, that he had no insight to what had really happened to me at school that morning. Then, reality of what Leo had just asked me began to soak into my mind, and all the possibilities and problems that could arise from my answer started to cause me to form sweat beads myself. Could there have been a heavier question bearing more weight than this one for the two of us, for two lifelong friends?
“Well, yeah.” Leo sounded somewhat deflated. “So, what do you say, Bec? Be my Homecoming date?” Leo showed his perfect, cheesy smile.
What was he doing to me? How could I have ever resisted that crooked grin? There was a long and heated pause, as I pondered my answer. “As friends, right?” I questioned, before I could have possibly thought all the way through his question or my answer and how it may have made him feel, or that it wasn’t what I actually wanted. Did I really want to take that next step with Leo and turn our lifelong friendship in to something more. I was fairly confident that my body told me “yes”, but my brain shouted warnings and red flags.
Honestly, who was I kidding? Any girl would be crazy if she didn’t think Leo was a catch. He was the quarterback for the varsity football team, already had accepted a partial scholarship to attend I.U. next fall, and he stood a gorgeous 6’ 2” --- a total bonus for me.
Leo was --- for lack of a better word --- beautiful. He had a lean muscular build, and streaks of blonde highlights running through his hair from so much time spent outdoors playing football and helping his dad on their farm. His hair would've had a little wave to it if he'd ever let it grow out, but he usually kept it cut pretty short for football. He had that handsome crooked smile, of course, that I could never say “no” to, and his eyes --- oh, those eyes --- were such a bright crystal blue. I swore sometimes he used them to penetrate straight into my soul. I was such a sucker for beautiful eyes. Leo was kind, attentive, and just an overall wonderful guy; cocky at times, sure, but that was just part of his charm and sense of humor.
But it was Leo. The Leo that I made mud pies with in his backyard when we were four years old; the Leo that I rode bikes with, climbed trees with, fished with, and even built a go-cart with in our garage during one of our past summers of growing up together. I just didn’t know if I could ever see him as anything more
than just Leo, my best friend.
Obviously, with the reactions my body had been having to him with the heat and the shivers, I felt that we could definitely be more than friends, but would I ever be able to get my mind to go along with my body? I think I’ve had that familiar wall up for so long --- you know, the wall that all girls put up when they mark a male friend as “just a friend” for one reason or another --- that I’d have to break out my jack hammer to break it down. Then again, the effort would be totally worth it to be with Leo.
Leo hesitated. “Well, yeah, of course friends. What else?” he answered with what was supposed to sound like a laugh, but it had come out as more of a huff instead.
“Oh, I don’t know. Never mind. Sure, why not.” I answered, feeling a little disappointed and slightly deflated.
“Great,” Leo’s reply sounded neither happy nor sarcastic.
“So, do you just want me to wait around for you after the game, or do you want to meet me at the dance?”
“Definitely wait for me,” he responded quickly, as his eyes dropped to watch his feet digging around in the clumps of field that were mounded with bits of leftover corn and stalks from the fall’s harvest. He continued, “There’s something that I’d like to show you before we head over to the gym.”
The corners of his lips began to curl up into a crooked smile --- oh, that smile --- that he flashed my direction. That’s the smile, that I’ve learned over the years, meant he was surely up to something.
“What is it?” he had my complete and total focus.
“Oh, now you’re interested,” he teased. “You’ll just have to wait and see, but right now I think we should head back to your house before your mom comes out here and chews my head off for keeping you from your rest.” Leo motioned toward my house with wary eyes as he spoke.
Sure enough, when I looked back toward my house, I could see my mom had been watching us through the kitchen window. She waved when she'd known we looked her direction, motioning for us to return. I put my hand up in acknowledgement to let her know we were on our way.
I looked back to Leo and shot an eye roll his direction. “Yeah, we’d better head back,” I agreed.
Leo and I walked in silence as we crunched our way across the plowed cornfield. The only other sound, besides the cracking cornstalks and dead leaves underfoot, was the slam of the kitchen window my mom had closed when she was sure we were returning to the house.
These same familiar noises --- besides the slamming window --- were the ones that accompanied us on our walk out to the woods, but now there was a definite change in the surrounding air. The air, more than likely, felt changed and now altered by the tension between us. A strange, uncomfortable sensation rose from the pit of my stomach. Butterflies. I realized another difference was the birdsong was now absent. I chalked it up to the breeze which had picked up to a full blown, swirling wind.
The walk back was not as comfortable as the walk out had been. That one, although quiet, was as easy and natural as the past seventeen years had been. This one was tense and awkward, heat and shivers played across my skin and bounced across the electricity that shot between our bodies.
Leo and I were perfect together. There wasn’t always the need to fill every quiet moment with words and babble about inane things. We were fine with the way we were and had accepted each others' quirks. We balanced each others' moods and personalities flawlessly. Leo was outgoing while I was more quiet and reserved. When he was angry, I was the only one who could talk him down; when I was upset, it was always him that could always make me smile again.
Now, something was different. There was tension, maybe nervousness, this time as we headed toward home. Something changed between us while we had been talking out by the woods, and at that precise moment I felt the thickness in the air squeezing its way between us. It wasn’t necessarily bad, just different. Things had changed between us and I didn’t know exactly what that meant. Honestly, I was scared to find out.
The difference was so pronounced and obvious, I was certain Leo could feel it too. If by some chance he hadn’t sensed the change on his own, I was positively sure that my constrained manner definitely gave it away.
I felt Leo’s hand graze the side of my finger as we walked and warmth ran up my arm, sending a chill to my spine. I felt the hairs tingle on the back of my neck. What the hell was that? I could tell that he felt it too when I caught sight of his clenched, white-knuckled fist he had made after the touch.
I looked up toward those ocean-colored eyes, trying to read his expression in order to better understand the meaning behind his reaction. I had to smile a little when I saw that the bead of sweat had reappeared on his temple. Leo really liked me. Like, liked me like me. Could that be true? Was else could have been causing all this weirdness between us?
Leo and I continued to walk in silence till we reached my back door, then we awkwardly said our goodbyes.
I stood on the back steps, watching him as he easily hopped up into his truck and started the engine.
“Oh, Leo, wait!” I shouted. I had completely forgotten, with the chaos of today, that my car was still parked in the school’s parking lot. “My car’s still at school. Can you, please, drive me to school tomorrow morning?” I batted my big chestnut-colored eyes toward him for good measure, teasing him just a little like I’d always done whenever I need him to do me a favor.
I asked even though I knew it to be unnecessary, because with Leo I never had to ask. We both knew that. He’d do anything and be anywhere for me if it meant I needed him.
“Sure, Bec. I’ll be here first thing in the morning,” he assured me with a wave, then he drove off.
I walked back toward the house, stopping on the steps for a moment while I watched Leo drive off down the country road.
My mom must have been watching through the kitchen window still, waiting for me to come inside. As I watched Leo’s truck disappear, I heard the screen door beside me creak open. I turned to see my mom standing there with her free hand propped against her hip.
“You coming in anytime soon?” she asked with a hint of annoyance.
I grabbed the door, letting it slam behind me just to see the look of disgust on my mom’s face. I always got a little pleasure out of that disapproving glance being shot my direction.
“Why don’t you head up to your room, and I’ll bring you up a snack.”
“Mom, I’m fine. It’s not a big deal. The school just sent me home to follow procedure, not because there’s actually something wrong with me.” I insisted, hoping that it was true.
“So, what did Leo want?” my mom asked, as I made my way to the refrigerator to grab a drink.
“How do you know Leo wanted anything? I’m the one that asked him to go for the walk.” I was slightly perturbed at my mom’s flawless and uncanny intuition.
My mom only responded with an annoyingly knowing glance. I sighed, deciding on the truth rather than sarcasm. “Oh, not much. He just wanted to check on me to make sure that I was feeling all right.” I popped the top of my pop can and watched as the drink fizzed from the opening as I took my first sip. “And he wants us to go to Homecoming together this weekend,” I volunteered reluctantly.
With this new bit of information, my mom stood a little straighter. She looked up from the mail that she had been sifting through on the counter and turned to give me an approving grin. “I thought there may have been more to it than that,” she commented, quite pleased with this new information as she tossed the junk mail into the trashcan.
“So, you going?” she asked without looking up from the counter.
“Well, yeah. It’s not a big deal, Mom. Please don’t make it a big deal. We’re just going as friends, okay. I’ve told you a hundred times that we’re just friends.” When was I ever going to stop lying to myself, and others?
“Oh, I know, I know,” she spit out very quickly, too quickly. She turned toward me, throwing her hands in the air as a sign of retreat. My mom had always thoug
ht that one day there would be more to Leo and I than just friendship, so she was beyond delighted with this new development. From what I could tell by the smirk on her face, that she was trying to unsuccessfully hide, my mom was totally patting herself on the back for a job well done --- as if she had anything to do with it.
My mom must have been grinning from ear to ear on the inside, but to save me from a multitude of embarrassments she was definitely attempting to hide her inner and outer smiles behind her long mahogany hair. She dipped her head back down, concentrating herself on the rest of the mail still lying on the counter.
My mom had listened to me use the “just friends” line for the past couple years now, and for the most part she always backed off the subject whenever I used the phrase. I think she did that for fear that something she would say, or possibly her pushing the subject too hard, may one day ruin any chance of a relationship between Leo and me. She tried to watch from a distance, but every once in a while she’d still give me her unsolicited input. I don’t think she could help herself.
“I’m going upstairs to start on my school work that I missed out on today,” I voiced to my mom. I glanced back toward my mom as I made my way toward the staircase and tried not to crack a smile at how incredibly satisfied she seemed to be with the news of Leo asking me to Homecoming.
“Okay. Try to take a little nap when you’re through with it all.” She paused for a moment, then continued more hesitantly than before, “Are you positive that you’ll be fine here by yourself for the rest of the day?”
“Mom, of course. I’m fine, really.”
“Okay then, if you’re sure.”
“Yes, I am.”
“I’m going to head back to the shop for a little while then. Do you need anything before I go?”
“No, I’m good. I’ll just be in my room all day doing homework.”
“All right then, if you’re sure…”
“Mom, go. Bye,” I called from the top of the stairs, exasperated.
“Okay. Bye, hon.”
I turned, headed for the stairs and waited for the moment till I heard my mom’s van start and pull out of the driveway.
Beautiful Souls Page 3
