by Emma Nichols
As they wandered up towards the arches carrying the drinks, Eva could see that the number of men gathered had increased again. Ed still sat with Marco in the locked entrance to what looked like a derelict building, and George stood beside him, fiddling with a roll-up paper and tobacco. Phil was still nowhere in sight, but another man obscured by George’s torso, was laughing, and drinking from a bottle. Eva shuddered.
‘Are you okay?’ Rosa asked.
‘There’s someone here I haven’t seen before,’ Eva said. Her heart was racing with optimism and trepidation as she drew closer. Ed’s eyes diverted towards her. He was laughing and revealing his missing first molars on the right side of his mouth.
‘Hi Eva,’ he said, his face settling into a smile that crowded his face. The other two men turned, and Eva’s heart skipped a beat as she came face-to-face with the man with scraggly, thinning hair, ruddy cheeks and silver-blue eyes.
She stopped in her tracks as David Adams held her stunned expression with his own soft, glazed, eyes.
‘Is this your man? George asked, taking the drinks from Eva’s hands. ‘I found him on my way to Peckham, so thought I’d bring him back here, in case you showed up again.
Eva was lost for words. Of course she was going to show up again. She hadn’t said she wouldn’t. But then she remembered, life was like that on the streets, never really knowing what would happen from one day to the next. Rosa put an arm around Eva’s waist to remind her she was there for her. Eva didn’t need to take out the picture in her pocket to know that the man staring at her was her father. She tried to clear her throat, reached into her pocket, and took out the image of her as a small child sitting on her father’s lap. She handed it to the man with the silver eyes.
He scanned the image and his head moved back and forth. He brought the image closer to his face, studied it in more detail, looking back at Eva before returning to the picture. ‘This is you,’ he said. His voice was softly spoken, though his words were slightly slurred.
Eva realised he was swaying and her heart sunk as the very real possibility struck her, that he might not be able to remember her. Time seemed to drag, as she waited for another response from him. Her stomach in knots, she leaned into Rosa’s hold, thankful for the strength she provided.
‘And this is me?’ he asked.
Eva cleared her throat. ‘Yes.’ Her eyes were sore with the pressure of the tears she was holding back. She looked away, turned her attention to the other two men in the group. All eyes were on her. She diverted her attention to the passers-by. Even they were glancing quizzically at the two women in deep conversation with the group of vagrant men. When she looked back towards the man with the ruddy cheeks, they were wet, and he was rubbing a partially gloved hand across them.
‘Eva,’ he said, but the word was barely audible, and his voice had broken.
Eva stood motionless, unable to stem the tears that were gathering pace down her cheeks. She stared. Rosa pulled her closer, her own tears starting to fall. Even George pressed his fingers into his eyes, as if to swat away the emotion. Only Ed beamed a smile, and rubbed Marco’s back with the vigour of success.
‘David. My name’s David,’ he said, taking a step towards Eva and holding out his hand.
Eva took the hand, noting the callused skin, surprised by the warmth in the exposed fingers. ‘You’re my father,’ she said, watching for his response. His glassy-eyes lit up and a smile grew on his face as he processed her statement. She moved a step closer and held out her arms, their two bodies colliding in a fierce hold. Rosa rubbed her eyes and sniffled as she watched father and daughter reconcile a lifetime in one short embrace. No words passed between any of them. As Eva pulled back from David, she turned and remembered Rosa.
‘This is Rosa,’ she said to the group. ‘My girlfriend.’ Rosa melted at the smile in Eva’s eyes. Ed and George beamed.
David approached Rosa, Eva still tucked under his left arm and held out his right hand. Within a moment he had both women in a triple embrace. ‘Thank you,’ he said.
*
Rosa had returned to the hotel and Eva could see the boys celebrating with a beer in the alleyway. The story would be passed down the streets for some time to come, feeding hope to those in need, and cynicism to those who’d been around long enough to know better. Eva sat, transfixed by her father’s weathered face. The warmth of the coffee shop deepened the red in his cheeks. She had placed the photos on the table and he had given them careful consideration, his mind working hard to place them in time and space. He had shed a silent tear at the news of Rowena’s death and Eva had fought hard to challenge the lump blocking her throat as she watched him grapple with a new reality. His hands were still shaking as he picked up the china cup and drank the hot milky drink. ‘I can set you up,’ she said, in a tone full of hope.
David shook his head. ‘My place is here,’ he said. His solemn stare bore no resentment or desire for change. Eva’s chest tightened as an overwhelming sense of loss cut through her heart. She hadn’t reckoned on him refusing her offer of help. His silver eyes held a level of contentment that Eva dreamed of, yet was seemingly impossible for her to attain. Her eyes lowered, and David reached out a hand across the table. Eva took it, savouring the sensation of his hand in hers, knowing it would probably be the first and last time. ‘Can I keep these?’ he asked. Eva couldn’t hold back the sadness as it welled up from somewhere deeper than her mind could fathom, and shed more tears down her cheeks. She had never cried so much in such a short space of time. She looked skyward to gain her composure, catching the glint in his smile. ‘I’ll be fine. This is my home,’ he said, looking out the window.
They sat in relative silence, until David’s discomfort became apparent in his fidgeting. Eva smiled, reminded of her own propensity to wriggle when her mind had reached saturation for something. ‘I’d best let you get on,’ she said, standing, giving him permission to move freely. He stood, facing her. ‘Please, take this,’ she said, handing him two twenty-pound notes. ‘It’s all I’ve got on me. I’ll get some more for tomorrow,’ she said, feeling a little embarrassed.
‘Eva.’ Her name locked their eyes. ‘I don’t need your money. I do just fine,’ he said. He reached out for her and when she fell into his arms he closed them around her, and kissed the top of her head. She could feel his heart beating slow and strong through his thick coat.
‘Please take it,’ she begged. ‘For me.’ She moved out of the hold and held his eyes pleadingly. Tenderness passed between them and he nodded his head in agreement. She placed the money in his hand and he pocketed it, before turning and leaving the café. ‘Will you be here tomorrow?’ she asked.
‘Yes,’ he said. Turning he walked over to the step, watched by the men sipping beer. He’d made some new friends today and for that he was grateful. They would all eat and drink well tonight, he thought. When he reached Ed and George he looked back over his shoulder. Eva had disappeared.
25.
‘Thank you for being there with me.’ Eva said, peaking over the menu in her hand, watching Rosa as she scanned the food options hungrily. She’d lost her appetite but wanted to enjoy what little time she had with Rosa before she returned to Paris.
Rosa lowered her menu and held Eva with a compassionate gaze. They had talked for hours since Eva had returned from the café. Eva had cried a lot and Rosa had comforted her. There was little more she could do. But she knew she would be there for Eva, no matter what. ‘I love you, Eva,’ she said, as if that was the only thing that mattered, and in many ways, it was.
Eva smiled mournfully through a resigned sigh. She lowered her menu and started shaking her head.
‘What?’ Rosa asked.
‘I know I’m very lucky,’ she said, leaning across the table and planting a tender kiss on Rosa’s lips. ‘I just didn’t expect him to not want any help,’ she added, still processing her dad’s response.
‘I guess this…’ she pointed out the window, ‘this is what he knows and is
comfortable with,’ Rosa offered. She could only imagine how difficult it must be for Eva to have to face the fact that her father would rather stay on the street than in a warm, dry flat. It was hard enough for her to relate to, and it wasn’t personal, although she had instantly warmed to Eva’s father, with his gentle energy and pragmatic approach. He certainly seemed happy.
Eva released another long breath, allowing the truth to permeate her illusion. ‘Yes. I guess,’ she said, before turning her attention back to the menu.
The waiter approached. ‘What can I get you ladies to drink?’ he asked.
‘Wine?’ Rosa asked.
‘No, water’s fine for me,’ Eva responded, continuing to ponder the food choices, unaware of the slight frown that had appeared on Rosa’s face.
‘A bottle of water please,’ Rosa said, addressing the waiter, who repeated the order and then left, returning swiftly with the drink and a platter of poppadum and dips.
Eva dived into the crispy bread. ‘What are you having?’ she asked.
‘I’m going to try the Chicken Shathkhora. I haven’t had that before,’ Rosa responded. ‘You?’
‘Chicken Tikka Masala,’ Eva said, with certainty.
A smile appeared on her face as she looked up from the menu. Its depth sent a warm feeling through Rosa’s chest and down to her legs. ‘I’m the lucky one by the way,’ she said with a sparkle in her eyes.
Eva felt the heat rise to her cheeks, softened by the tenderness within which Rosa’s eyes held her. ‘I love you,’ she said.
‘No wine tonight?’ Rosa asked, as Eva picked up the tall glass and filled it with water.
‘No. I stopped drinking,’ she said. ‘It’s early days, but I know what I need to do, and if I could get through the last two weeks without it, I figure I can get through anything.’
Rosa’s eyes had glassed over with the gravity of Eva’s words. A blaze sparked in her chest. She moved across the table in an instant and this time the kiss between them lingered. ‘I’m so proud of you,’ she said, after she released Eva’s swollen lips, and re-seated herself. She picked up a poppadum, dipped it in the relish and bit down. Even though the move wasn’t intended to be seductive, it hit the spot and Eva gulped. She picked up her glass and took a sip of the water, watching Rosa intently. Their moment was interrupted by the waiter approaching, pad and pencil in hand.
‘Are you still hungry?’ Eva asked.
Rosa’s dark eyes lifted from the menu with a glint that only said one thing. She was hungry, but not for the food on offer.
*
Eva pulled Rosa into the room. She hadn’t been able to down her meal quickly enough, with her mind being fully occupied by the sexy woman whose body she wanted to feel naked against her own in a warm bed. Her mouth clashed against Eva’s, and their tongues danced together, with an insatiable appetite that they both shared. Rosa pulled back to gain her breath before pouncing again and biting down on Eva’s lower lip, pulling and tweaking it, teasing out a groan. Passionately kissing, parting only to remove their own clothes, they staggered, naked, to the bed and fell onto the soft mattress.
Eva’s mouth ventured to Rosa’s neck, nipping and biting her way down to the centre of Rosa’s breasts. She eyed the taut nipples and settled on the left side, her thumb and finger teasing the right breast. Rosa arched at the contact, and groaned when Eva parted her and settled in between her legs. The warm wet sensation pressed into Eva’s sex and Rosa’s scent gently tantalised her senses. The intimate rhythmical motion they shared, increased in pace and pressure. Eva’s sex was starting to burn. It was too much, too soon. She lowered herself down Rosa’s sleek frame, kissing and licking down her belly, savouring the spot just short of Rosa’s clit, her tongue pulling up on the fleshy tip, sending a shiver of lust that caused Rosa to buck uncontrollably. Lower still her tongue dived between the silky wet lips, savouring the taste, the warmth, and the certainty of what was to come.
Rosa cried out as wave after wave of sensation turned her inside out and back again. She wanted the ride to never end, the rise to climb higher and the edge to drive the most exquisite drop into the abyss of happiness. And when it came, it delivered, causing a flood of tears as the depth of emotion ripped her in two. Her greatest fear was losing the woman she had now truly found. Yet the feeling of joy, and the ecstasy of being around Eva, was equally as punishing to her sense of vulnerability. She wept, and Eva held her.
*
‘I don’t want to leave you?’ Rosa exclaimed, packing the last of her things.
‘I know.’ Eva said, kissing her tenderly. ‘I’m coming home soon,’ she added. Her smile was soft, caressing, and her eyes held their future in them. Rosa had never seen the same quality of sparkle in Eva’s eyes as she did right now. ‘I just need to sort out a couple of things here and I’ll be back. I promise.’ Rosa believed her.
Rosa’s eyes blinked in acknowledgement of the closure Eva needed with her father. ‘Will you…’ she hesitated, took a deep breath, and started again. ‘Will you come and live with me?’ she asked, feeling more than a little insecure at the possibility of rejection.
Eva closed the space between them and eyed Rosa carefully. ‘I’d like that,’ she said, causing a sudden intake of breath from Rosa, who started squealing with excitement.
‘Let’s go and get some breakfast,’ Rosa said, feeling lighter and more confident.
Eva took her hand and walked them down to the breakfast room.
*
Eva sauntered down to the arches with the drinks, including the extra-hot latte for her father. She was a lot later than her normal early morning visits, in part due to seeing Rosa off, but also because she had needed to wait until the shops were open, and on a Sunday, that wasn’t until 10am. The men were sat around smoking and chatting, and greeted her enthusiastically as she handed out the drinks. ‘How was your night?’ she asked, to whomever might respond. She’d never asked the question to Ed or George, but her father’s presence had increased her desire to know more about their life on the street and she was less afraid to ask. She needed to know that he would be okay, as illogical as that seemed given he had been living on the streets long before she descended on his life.
‘It was fine,’ David responded, sensing his daughter’s concern. ‘Where’s Rosa?’ he asked, genuinely interested.
‘She’s had to go back to work, in Paris.’
‘You going back too?’ His tone was more encouraging than disappointed.
‘Yes, at some point.’ Eva avoided giving any details.
‘Soon I hope. Seems to me you have someone important waiting for you, and a business to take care of,’ he said. His words carried wisdom and his smile was reassuring. Heat rushed to Eva’s cheeks.
‘I want you to have this,’ Eva said, handing over a small package.
David assessed her quizzically. ‘What is it?’ he asked.
‘It’s a mobile phone. Open it,’ she said, holding back a smile. I want you to have it. It’s pre-programmed with my number and I’ll take care of the payments for the contract. If you get into any trouble, or need anything, at any time. You call me. Promise?’
David grinned. He wasn’t going to get away with refusing this offer of support, and actually the idea appealed to him. ‘Thank you,’ he said, staring at the package.
‘Open it,’ Eva said, impatiently. I’ll show you how it works.’
‘I did have one once,’ David said with a wry smile, ‘but I suspect they’ve changed a lot since then.’ He tilted his head in recognition of the passing of time. ‘How do I charge it?’ he asked.
Eva’s face contorted. She hadn’t thought about that.
‘There are loads of free places across town,’ Ed piped up, with a beaming smile. ‘I’ll show you,’ he offered.
‘Thanks,’ David said. Eva breathed a sigh of relief.
‘Will you come and visit?’ Eva asked, still unable to reconcile the fact that her father would rather stay here, on the street, than live in a h
ome.
‘Maybe,’ he responded, but his eyes hadn’t really registered the possibility. Eva sighed deeply, and David reached for her hand. ‘You have a big heart Eva, a lot like your mother.’ The reference to Rowena shocked Eva. ‘My life here is so very different. I wouldn’t cope well with living in your world, anymore than you would in mine.’ His smile was gentle, nurturing even as his eyes directed the scene around them. ‘I made my choices many years ago. For right or wrong, who knows? But, I’m happy here. This is my home.’
‘I know,’ Eva choked down the lump in her throat.
David raised her lowered chin and looked her directly in the eye, with a firmness she hadn’t seen before. ‘Thank you for caring enough to find me. I promise to keep in touch, and I’ll let you know where I am in case you want to visit some time,’ he said with a mischievous smile. ‘And I promise, if I change my mind about your offer, you’ll be the first to hear about it. You’ve given me a good reason to stay sober,’ he said. Although, Eva doubted how long that might last in her physical absence. Her eyes confirmed her understanding and David released his grip, planting a kiss on her cheek. She reached up, touching the spot the rough stubble had stimulated. It was an alien feeling, and one she would remember for a long time. ‘I’m moving on today,’ he said.
Eva could see his eyes glassing over, and not from alcohol. ‘Right,’ she said, aware that this was his way of releasing her. ‘Where to?’ she asked.
‘Over Peckham way, with Ed and George,’ he said, matter-of-fact.
Eva nodded her head, biting down on her top lip to prevent the tears escaping. The lump in her throat burned fiercely. ‘I’ll be off then,’ she said.
David pulled her into his arms and squeezed tightly, reaffirming their connection. Eva knew he would be true to his word about keeping in touch, but that didn’t stop her heart feeling as if it were splitting into tiny shards. The pieces flew, fizzing into the darkness. As she watched the display, taking place in her mind; the shield over her heart splintering, separating and disappearing, she pulled out of the hold, for some inexplicable reason, feeling stronger and more complete than she had ever felt in her life.
