by E. M. Fitch
The eyes lingered. They had been scrubbed from the side of the building and off the stalls in the girls’ lavatories, which is why the police had them cordoned off, but still, they lingered. Cassie found them drawn in red sharpie on the desks in her chemistry class. A couple of freshman had inked each other’s biceps with crude versions of them. The mirrors in the gym bathrooms were all decorated with eyes, just at eye level too, so that Cassie couldn’t look into the mirrors without the red orbs getting transposed over her own.
The whole incident left the school feeling slightly unhinged, manic in a way. There was a low undercurrent of energy pulsing through the student body, leaving them all feeling displaced because no one knew what to do with it.
Laney had been acting strange. She didn’t seem fazed when Cassie told her the paint was actually blood. She had stiffened slightly, her shoulder bunching with tension, but then she let out a breath and nodded, accepting it. But it was more than just her casualness about the blood spattered on the side of their school. She was retreating, pulling away, or shutting down, and Cassie couldn’t understand why. Or maybe she could, and she just didn’t like it.
Laney spent every afternoon after school with her new boyfriend. Sometimes, Cassie would see them on her way home, hand in hand at the edge of the cemetery, disappearing into the woods, and sometimes she wouldn’t. Laney wouldn’t answer her texts for ages and even when their classes combined and they ate lunch together, Laney was distracted. Between her and Ryan, Cassie wasn’t sure with whom she was getting more irritated.
Ryan hadn’t said a word about the other day, not one single thing. Cassie got to school early the day following the graffiti incident, riding in with her father and letting him walk her into school. Ryan had been down the hall, already at his locker and getting his books out. She walked up to him, a smile tugging at her lip, and he blinked over at her and grinned. But when she got to him, he had pat her on the back, referred to her as “buddy,” and then stammered that he had to meet up with Jon. She could have kicked his locker in frustration.
It wasn’t until lunch that day when he asked her if she needed a ride to the dance and hope had flared in her chest, that she was finally crushed for good. Just as Cassie said yes, she would love a ride, he had beamed, replying that he and Jon would pick her up around eight.
He and Jon. Together. Cassie felt a lurch in her stomach when he said it, mumbled that she would be waiting, and then booked it to the nearest bathroom.
A pair of red eyes were waiting for her on the door of the stall.
She took a deep breath and resigned herself to the fact that he wanted to be friends still, that maybe this was his way of trying to not make things more awkward, and that she had to let it go at that. Still, it stung.
With the way the week was going, with Laney distracted and weird and Ryan overly-friendly and polite, Cassie wasn’t sure why she was surprised to find the notice on the gym door canceling class, but she was.
“Butterfly infestation?” she asked, her tone incredulous as she stared at the paper notice taped to the closed door.
“Right?” Collin barked through a laugh, shaking his head. He was a freshman that Cassie knew from her neighborhood. He was on the basketball team, tall but gangly and young. Still, he stood a head taller than her, and he was able to peer into the high window of the gym door. Even on her tiptoes, Cassie still couldn’t see through. “That’s freaking insane, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Cassie confirmed, still trying to angle her sight into the gym. Collin noticed her struggle and smirked down at her, nodding back to the window.
“Need a lift?” he asked. Cassie laughed, but stepped in front of him, letting him wrap his arms around her stomach and lift her up to the window. Butterflies, none like she had ever seen before, flit around the gym. The back doors were thrown wide open, but none of the creatures seemed interested in leaving. They floated, blue and purple and white, like flower petals in a gentle stream, soundless in flight, swarming about in the thousands.
“Incredible,” she whispered, and she felt Collin nod from behind her. She patted his arm, and he lowered her to the ground in acknowledgment. “How did they get there?”
“Not sure,” he answered, shrugging. “I hope they get them out in time for the dance, though.”
Cassie grinned over at him. “Hot date?”
“Might have,” he murmured, blushing a bit. A throat clear behind her and Cassie turned to see Ryan watching her with a quizzical expression, his jaw set as though he was clenching his teeth. She sighed, rolled her eyes, and turned away from him.
If he wanted to be upset because she let a freshman lift her up so she could see an incredible butterfly infestation, then fine. At this point, she wasn’t sure if she wanted the butterflies out in time for the dance or not. Maybe it would be easier for her if they just stayed there for good.
Cassie wasn’t lucky enough to have the butterflies remain. Someone had thought to bring in large fans and essentially sweep the butterflies through the door. It worked, apparently, because the dance was still on. Cassie smoothed her blue satin dress out, letting her hands flutter down the planes of fabric that floated from her waist. She smiled wistfully in the mirror in her front hall, thinking it was too bad to waste such a pretty dress on two boys who held no interest in her. She pulled an ornate mask from the drawer of the hall table, running her fingers through the feathers sprouting from the top.
The dance’s theme was still Masquerade, and though she figured a lot of people would interpret that as Costume Party, she was glad she went with the subtly of her mask. It was small, covering her eyes, cheeks, and the bridge of her nose. The base material was soft, black velvet. There was gem-like beading in a swirl of colors that ran over her cheeks and around her eyes. The beads were multi-colored, but mostly blue, which brought out not only her dress but the flecks of blue in her otherwise gray eyes. She had swept her auburn hair up and off her neck, piling it high and over the velvet tie that she used to secure her mask. She had just finished setting it in place when there was a knock at the door.
Ryan inhaled sharply when she swung the door open. She regarded him, one eyebrow rising slowly behind her mask. He wore a navy blue suit with a royal blue shirt underneath. His tie was loose, and Cassie had to resist the urge to offer to tie it for him. She saw his mask, a simple black disguise, hanging from his front pocket. He swallowed heavily before speaking.
“You look great,” he said, moving toward her and offering to help with her coat. His fingers were warm as they brushed the base of her neck and Cassie felt a shard of regret slip through her core that she had somehow unintentionally lost what she thought they had been building toward. “Jon’s already in the car.”
Cassie called out a goodbye to her mother. Cathy shouted for her to wait, that she wanted a picture. Cassie argued, that no, they were late already. Her mother frowned, gesturing between Ryan and Cassie.
“But you match!” Cathy Harris pointed out. “Ryan just grab her and let me snap this.”
Cassie winced as Ryan tentatively put his arm around her, pulling her in closer than she would have liked. It would have been so much different, she thought ruefully, if he had kissed her and then talked to her about it. But he was on this determined course to ignore that it happened and so having his arm around her felt like a lie. It bothered Cassie, and she didn’t want to feel that way. There had been a time, a very recent time, when all she felt when his arm came around her, was warm and protected and somewhat tingly. Now the raw embarrassment of something that felt too close to rejection swam through her, and she shrugged out of his embrace as soon as her mother’s flash went off.
“Got to go, Mom, love you,” Cassie said. She buttoned her coat as her mother waved goodbye, reminding Cassie she was working overnight tonight, and she’d see her in the morning. Cassie nodded and followed Ryan out, letting him open the passenger side door for her and slipping into the warmth of his car. Jon greeted her easily
, the only one lately who wasn’t acting strangely.
“What are you supposed to be?” Jon asked, looking her up and down. She shot him a look, and he threw his hands up. “I’m mean, obviously besides lovely.”
Cassie laughed. “Yeah, obviously,” she joked, feeling warm all of a sudden as she felt Ryan’s eyes traveling over her again. She cleared her throat. “I’m nothing in particular, really. Just masked. That’s kind of the point of a Masquerade, actually.”
“Oh,” Jon said blankly. “Well, fine, but if anyone asks you, I’m a sexy pirate.” He pulled an eyepatch over his face and growled at her. Cassie burst out laughing.
“I am not telling anyone that you’re a sexy anything,” she sputtered, grinning back at Jon’s devastated expression.
“Don’t you think I’m sexy?”
“No!” Ryan and Cassie both said at once. Cassie felt a wave of irritation roll over her. So what if she wanted to think Jon was sexy? She didn’t. But who was Ryan to say she didn’t? She frowned over at him, but he didn’t notice, he watched the road with an intensity usually found only in driver’s ed.
After they parked, the three of them converged at the front door. Jon adjusted his patch in his reflection in the window while Ryan attempted to tie his mask in place. Cassie watched him struggle for a moment, not asking her for help. She wasn’t about to offer it either. Then his mask was set, Jon ripped the door open, and the warm heat of the darkened school embraced them.
Cassie could hear the bass thumping as soon as she turned down the hallway. Her father sat ahead of them, already positioned behind a table at the entrance to the gymnasium, a benign smile on his face.
“You’d think the music would bother him,” Jon said, striding along with Cassie and Ryan toward the dance. The music shifted, the song changing, but her father’s peaceful expression didn’t falter. He smiled when he saw them, waving. Cassie laughed.
“Wouldn’t Principal Rossi frown on you using those?” Cassie asked, pointing at her father. He tilted his head, staring at her in confusion. She leaned toward him and tapped his ear. His smile widened.
“Don’t tell on me,” he shouted, unnaturally loud. His fingers poked at his ears and adjusted the bright yellow earplugs. They handed over their tickets, shouted goodbye, and walked through the cheap metallic strips of curtain that had been hung over the gym doors.
“Think they have the basketball court open tonight?” Jon asked, his voice raised over the pulsing music. The DJ was set up, as usual, right underneath the basketball hoop. Speakers that were almost the same height as Cassie framed the table he was using, while lights flashed and swirled from the bar extended over the set up. A mini strobe pulsed on the floor, and couples were lit in slow motion, statues that shifted and changed as the lights oscillated, carved into inert brilliance in the flashes.
“Where, in the middle school? You don’t want to stay?” Cassie asked. She wasn’t too surprised. Jon had worn his sneakers. He often did that, ditched early and hung out in the other gym. The middle school was connected by a short passage and a lot of the guys spent the night of the dance in there instead, ties thrown over the bleachers and jackets left in piles on the floor.
“Probably not,” he replied, scanning the gym. It wasn’t packed yet. They arrived half an hour after the official start of the dance, which was technically still early. “It depends.”
“On what?” Ryan asked, shrugging out of his jacket. He gestured for Cassie to do the same and she did, handing her wool peacoat over to him. She pulled her phone from the pocket though, holding it out to Ryan with her lower lip jutting out just slightly. He rolled his eyes and pocketed her phone, and she gave him a quick smile.
Friends. If nothing else, they were still friends.
“On whether or not Samantha shows up,” Jon answered, completely unaware of Cassie’s internal struggle. “I’m gonna take a lap.”
Jon jogged off, skirting the outer circle of dancers and weaving around the wallflowers before Cassie could protest. She frowned after him, avoiding Ryan’s eye. Over the thump of the bass, she heard him clear his throat loudly, and she shifted from foot to foot.
“I guess we’ll see him sometime later,” Ryan said.
“I guess,” she answered, cocking her head at him. “What do you—”
“Do you want to—”
“You first,” Cassie suggested, pointing toward him. The music beat around them, filling the darkened room and Cassie moved closer to catch Ryan’s words before they were swallowed into the bass.
“Let me find a place for these,” Ryan said, nodding to the jackets, “and then maybe we’ll see who’s here?”
Cassie nodded, and he offered her his arm. After a moment’s hesitation, she took it, linking her hand through the crook in his elbow and letting him steer her around the room. He dropped their coats on an empty section of bleachers and then led her into the dance. It took barely any time at all to make a circuit. They discovered quickly that Samantha Collins had come and seemed to be glad Jon wasn’t playing basketball. The two were already dancing—pirate and, if Cassie wasn’t mistaken, some kind of cat—winding closer to each other in the random beats of light that sparked in time with the music.
People continued to flow into the room, swelling through the doorway and into the crowd at the front. Cassie was right in assuming most would consider this a costume party. There were a lot of girls dressed like animals—cat ears and tiger tails adorning the otherwise nice dresses that they would have normally worn anyway. Some of the guys went more out, superhero capes and, in one instance, Cassie wasn’t sure who he was, a full gorilla costume. The only lights were from the bar above the DJ booth and the reflections that flared off the bits of jewelry and the sheen of the girls’ dresses.
“Have you seen Laney?” Cassie asked, looking from Ryan and back to the floor. One thing about the Masquerade theme people really did seem to get, it was hard to tell who anyone was. “She’s dressed as a wood nymph.”
“What the hell does a wood nymph look like?” he asked, staring at her quizzically. Cassie opened her mouth to answer and then shook her head with a laugh.
“I’ve no idea,” she answered, shrugging.
He grinned and then bent lower, bringing his mouth close to her ear. “Maybe she’s in there,” he said, his voice low and his breath warm on her neck. She tried to ignore the shiver that traversed her spine at his proximity, the warmth she felt when his breath settled around her. It meant nothing, it couldn’t because he had already made it very clear that he didn’t want it to mean anything. She cleared her throat and looked toward the dance floor, following Ryan’s line of vision. Laney could be in there, dancing already. Cassie hadn’t seen her, but Laney was small, easy to miss.
She stood on her tiptoes, leaning into Ryan for support as she brought her lips to his ears. “Are you trying to ask me to dance?” she asked. She kept her voice low and teasing, trying to pull off friendly. She wasn’t sure she succeeded. Her voice was breathier than she wanted it to be. He jerked back from her, his eyebrows raised. A smile curled his lips though, and he shrugged, offering her his hand. She took it and let him pull her into the throng.
It was warm on the dance floor. Someone had already propped open the back door, the cool air of the night wafted in over the dancers and pushed leaves across the floor. But even with that, it was hot. Cassie was pressed from all sides as laughing, dancing classmates surged around her. Ryan kept her within arm’s reach at all times, his hand darting out to her waist, resting on her arm, sometimes entangling his fingers with hers. It was good, dangerously good. She felt tingly and hot. Cassie’s attention was pinned with his touch. She’d turn and laugh with one of her softball teammates only to find the press of his fingers warm and distracting, returning her to him. A head she thought was Laney’s pulled her mind away, but he squeezed her hand, and she ricocheted back, grinning up at him.
When the music slowed and shifted into a slow dance, it wa
s natural to step into his arms, press her cheek against his chest and rest against him. Other couples drifted past them, pairing off. Cassie glanced around from his chest, looking for the smirks she was sure would be waiting for her. Because here she was, again, treating Ryan as though he were her boyfriend, dancing with him as though it meant something, and even though it could to her, it didn’t to him. Where was Jessica now, or Rebecca? Where was the teasing and the jeering?
Cassie didn’t know. It was hard to tell who anyone around her was anyway. There must have been a lot of underclassmen there because there were a lot of people, even with their faces masked and their outfits outlandish, that she didn’t think she’d ever seen before. She took a deep breath and pressed her cheek to his chest again, the even thumping of his heart sounding loud in her ear.
“I hate to say this,” Ryan murmured. Cassie lifted her face, looking up to him. His attention was drawn to the door, and then he looked down, smiling at her. She felt a grin tug the corner of her lips in response. “I think I see Laney.”
“Really?” Cassie asked, stepping back and looking behind her. Ryan nodded as he pointed toward the open door. “C’mon.”
He followed her slowly, squeezing the hand she had held back for him. Laney was standing by the open back door. Her dress was forest green and in place of the traditional feathers, Laney’s mask had sprigs of leaves, twisting around vines. It was a beautiful mask and Cassie wondered if Laney made it herself, though she was never really crafty. She smiled when Cassie finally reached her, her hand encased by some stranger’s. He was masked as well, a brown mask that matched his trousers. It was done in dark, textured tones and reminded Cassie of ancient tree bark. His shirt was a dull green, very close to the color of Laney’s dress. Cassie felt a frown form at how much like a couple they looked, even though it had only been a few weeks. Laney beamed as she took in Cassie and Ryan, seeming completely unconcerned.
