by J. L. Beck
“He didn’t deserve to die, and you know it.” She spits the words at him.
The waitress arrives then, five glasses of whiskey on her small tray. She places them on the table and walks away once more. I wonder if she can sense the hostility wafting from our table.
“Believe that all you want, but I don’t make a habit of killing people who don’t deserve it. Your brother stole from me… so he paid with his life.” Xander’s tone is all matter-of-fact like, and as he takes a gulp of his whiskey, his eyes slowly move from Keira and to me. I sizzle under his heated gaze.
“Whatever, Xander. You’ll never apologize for anything because you have no heart. You don’t know what it’s like to lose someone you love. But someday it will happen to you, and when it does, I hope it hurts. I hope it hurts so bad it breaks your black soul in two.”
Keira shoves from her chair, wiping at the stray tears that stain her cheeks. She walks away from table and out of the room completely. Damon looks conflicted, but he gets up from the table, chasing after her.
Xander downs the rest of his whiskey, slamming the glass down onto the table. I don’t dare say a word. I’m not dumb enough to do that.
“See, Mouse… I’m nothing but a monster. An evil bastard with a black soul.” He reaches for another glass of whiskey, and tears sting my eyes.
Xander and I have crossed a line. Somewhere, somehow, we’ve decided we care for each other, and it hurts me more than I want to admit that he lets others think so harshly of him. Yes, he's a monster but he has it in him to do better. If only more people believed in that part of him, maybe, just maybe, he would make better choices.
“You aren’t… we both know that.” I want to throw my arms around his neck and pull him into my embrace so badly it hurts. I want to hug and kiss him, take his pain and self-doubt away… and I do just that. I scan the room we are in; no one can see us right now. I close the short distance between Xander and me, seeing anger simmering in his dark eyes, but I don’t care.
“Consequences be damned, Xander, you’re worthy of being loved. Even if you don’t think so.” My lips press against his. He tastes like whiskey and sin. At first, he does nothing, as if he is in shock but as soon as he realizes I’ve kissed him, his fingers weave into my hair, pulling me closer. I gasp as his tongue pushes into my mouth and my hands grip onto the front of his suit. I never want this kiss to end… but way too soon, it does. Xander releases me, and I slip back into my seat, my lips swollen, and my mind reeling with all the different things I want him to do to me.
Damon and Keira return after a few minutes, and Keira seems to be in a much better mood. About the same time they come back, dinner is being served. We eat in silence for a few minutes, and I stuff my face, the food melting on my tongue with every bite I take. I’m slightly startled when Damon suddenly clears his throat to get our attention.
“Here comes our guy,” he says under his breath, looking past Xander to someone.
“I can’t believe my eyes. The Rossi brothers are back together again.” I keep my eyes trained on my plate, trying not to look at the face connected to the creepy voice.
“Benny, it has been a while, hasn’t it, old friend?” Damon greets him, standing to shake his hand. I really hope they are not actually friends. “This is Keira, my wife.”
“Damon Rossi a married man… who would have thought? Very nice to meet you.” I watch him walk around to our side of the table, an uneasy feeling festering in my gut. “Xander, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen you.”
“Benny, you know how business goes.” He stands to shake hands just as Damon did.
“And who might this beautiful creature be?” Benny asks curiously, and I can feel his eyes on me. I bite the inside of my cheek, hating the way this situation makes me feel.
Xander sits back down and shrugs nonchalantly. “Just something to play with when I’m not working.”
It’s like I'm a prized piece of meat or something.
“Quite the toy you have.” I can hear the interest in his voice, and it's sickening.
“I’ve grown rather tired of this toy. I think I might buy a new one soon.” Xander sounds bored and completely unattached. And even though I know he is just acting this way, it still hurts to hear him talk like this about me.
“You’re in luck, old friend. There is an event later tonight where you can do just that.”
Hope settles deep in my belly. Violet might be there. I could see my sister again, tonight even. Benny hands Xander something that he grabs from the inside pocket of his suit jacket.
“You’ll need these to get in. I’ve seen the lineup, and they’re offering some exquisite merchandise tonight. If this is your type, there is one who looks a lot like her.”
It takes everything in me to remain in my seat. I want to jump up and demand him to bring me there right now, but I know that wouldn’t help me or Violet.
“Is that so? Well, I guess I’ll have to go and see for myself.” Xander slides the invites into his jacket, and I hope like hell this Benny creep is going to leave now.
Instead, he walks around my chair, standing directly behind me. “I’ll take this one off your hands if you end up buying something new tonight.”
I ball my hands into fists so tightly that my nails dig painfully into my palm.
“I’m not quite done with her yet, but I'll keep you in mind when I am.” I can hear the annoyance mixed with anger in Xander’s voice even though he is trying to hide it. Apparently, Benny does not.
“How much do you want for her?” He places one hand on the table and leans into my body, lifting his other hand to reach for my cheek. I want to shy away, run to the farthest corner I can to stop him from touching me, but I can't. Doing so would draw attention to us.
He gets about half an inch away from touching my skin before Xander moves with superhuman speed. He is so fast that I don't really understand what’s happening… until it’s already done. I watch with shock swirling deep in my belly as he slams his fist harshly onto Benny’s hand, standing up hastily and causing the chair to fall to the floor behind him. I feel Xander’s hands on me and before I can even grasp what is happening, he's pulling me to my feet, bringing me in to his side.
Benny cries out in pain and when I look down and see blood gushing from his hand onto the white table cloth, I notice a fork sticking out of his hand.
Did Xander just stab him with a fork?
“Don’t ever touch what’s mine. Because the next time you do, I'll be taking one of your fingers with me.”
I watch in horror as Xander pulls the fork from Benny’s hand. Benny clutches it to his chest, “Of course, my apologies. She's quite a delicacy… a temptation.”
Xander clenches his jaw so hard I can see the muscles quiver. “Believe me, I know.”
I glance over to Damon, who has Keira pulled into his side, his arm wrapped around her protectively. She looks just as shocked and disgusted as I do. Damon, on the other hand, smirks as if he’s just heard a good joke. I can't imagine how any of this could be considered funny.
“I look forward to seeing you all again soon.” Benny smiles and walks out of the room. My eyes move to the bloody tablecloth.
“Well, my appetite is ruined,” Damon chuckles, his eyes trained on his brother. “I wasn’t expecting dinner and a show, brother.”
Xander shakes his head, a smile ghosting his lips. “He’s a fucking creep and you know it.” Confusion sinks into my bones. I don’t understand why they’re smiling at each other. Xander just stabbed someone in the hand. Shouldn’t they be trying to hide the tablecloth?
The waitress walks in the room a moment later, fear visible in her eyes.
“We’ll take the check, please.” Xander doesn’t even look at her when he speaks. She rustles through her things before pulling out a receipt. She hands it to Xander, her eyes moving to the tablecloth once more. She scurries away without another word, and we walk out front. Once again, I keep my eyes trained to the floor, and wa
lk arm in arm with Xander, standing beside him as he pays the bill.
I lean into his side and whisper in his ear, making certain no one is nearby, “What about the tablecloth?”
He turns his head slightly and gives me a boyish grin. The smile makes him seem more boy next door than notorious mobster, “Are you afraid that someone might come after me?”
I chew on the inside of my cheek, shaking my head no.
At my response, he leans in closer, his breath fanning against my lips. He’s so close I could kiss him if I really wanted to. Instead, I inhale his scent; sweet whiskey and cinnamon cloves tickle my nostrils. It’s an intoxicating scent, and it warms my body all over.
“Don’t worry, Mouse, nothing’s going to happen to me. I left her a little extra to cover it, and I doubt with the tip I gave her she’s going to be complaining.”
“Okay,” I whisper softly, pulling back.
Xander guides us out of the restaurant and the limo is once again waiting for us along the curb. There’s a chill in the air, and it settles deep into my lungs with every breath I take.
“All right, Mouse, it’s time to see if that sister of yours is alive,” Xander whispers into my ear as we climb into the limo. I settle into my seat, my hands in my lap.
My response to Xander’s comment dangles on the edge of my tongue. I want to tell him that she’s strong. Naive, yes. Young, yes. But she’s a fighter, and she’ll persevere through anything, even the darkness.
I never considered her not being alive, because that would mean this was a lost cause, but either way we weren’t just here for my sister. Xander wanted to find his father. I’d known this since the moment I met him, and I’d bet anything his father had everything to do with my sister disappearing, so wherever my sister was, Xander’s father wasn’t far behind.
“I’m taking Keira back to the hotel. This has been far more than enough fun for her, I think.” I peek up over at Damon through my lashes and notice Keira is in his arms and unusually quiet. She doesn’t even look my way. In fact, her face seems to be burrowed into Damon’s suit jacket. I’m going to guess she is also not used to seeing people get stabbed with forks.
“We’ll drop you off.” Xander motions something to the driver and the limo starts moving.
We stop a few minutes later at the hotel where Damon and Keira get out. “Be careful, and call me if you need anything, and if you find him…” I catch the look in Damon’s eyes. It promises murder, mayhem, and pure chaos.
“Of course, brother, we’re a team. If I find him, it’ll be with you.” Xander’s voice holds promise, and I realize that even though he doesn’t truly show it, he loves his brother.
Damon closes the door a second later and as soon as we are alone in the limo, Xander pulls me into his lap. I cuddle into his chest, burying my face into the crook of his neck, inhaling his unique scent. It’s crazy how safe I feel in his arms, knowing the same hands and body that makes me feel safe and pleasured are the same ones that kill and destroy people’s lives.
“Do you always stab people with cutlery?” I whisper into his skin, my hands making their way underneath his suit jacket. I feel his muscles tighten beneath my hands and wonder when he gets the time to work out.
He sighs, his hand stroking my head. “Only the ones who try to touch you.” His response makes me smile, and I place a kiss over his throbbing pulse. I’m positive I’m falling head over heels in love with him… and the scariest part isn’t that he’s a murderer, or that he’s thinks he’s a monster. The scariest part is that I know there isn’t a damn thing that can stop me.
I’m in deep… falling into darkness, hoping to find his hand.
36
Xander
“Where is this auction at?” Mouse asks softly. With her small body in my lap, cuddled up to my chest, I can feel the warmth of her body clinging to mine. It makes me want to bend her over the seat and fuck her. But I know how important this is for her, being close to me, so I rein in my need, saving it for later tonight.
“It’s at a high-end strip club a ways out of town. They have a basement with by-invite-only events. Tonight’s auction is one of their most popular.”
It’s not long before we pull up to the large square building. It has no sign on it, making it look like an old abandoned warehouse to any unsuspecting outsider. But to men like me, it's a playground for the rich and powerful to buy and sell in the flesh.
“My sister might be in that building.” Excitement shows in her features as she pulls away, gazing through the window. “I just want to run in there and call out her name, see if I can find her.”
“I know, but you can’t. We must remain as inconspicuous as possible.”
Mouse shivers in my arms, and I know she can hear the warning in my voice.
“If you do anything… if you step out of line once… I'll have to do something that neither of us are going to like. There are worse people than me in this world and most of them are going to be in this room.”
She moves off my lap and I let her, missing the warmth of her body as soon as it's gone. “I understand. I just want to find her. That's all. I won't do anything to draw attention to us.”
Worry worms its way into my mind. Mouse is desperate to find her sister, and desperation makes you do things without thinking them through. I just hope like hell for the both of us that she can keep up the act even if she does see her sister. Because if she doesn't, I'll have to hurt her, and that’s the last damn thing I want to do. The driver opens the door, and I give Mouse one last look before we exit the car.
She loops her arm into mine and we walk up to the front door together. A large metal door opens and a heavy-set guy in a suit appears in front of us. His face doesn’t have a speck of emotion on it. I reach into my jacket and grab the paper invitations, handing them to him without a single word. He eyes them slowly and steps aside to let us in. I glance over at Mouse, who is behaving well so far, keeping her eyes on the ground. She half smiles at me when she sees I’m looking at her and her happiness sinks deep into my bones.
God, she has no idea how much I want her right now.
We walk down the long dark hallway, leading us to a wide stairwell. I slow my pace walking down the stairs because Mouse keeps tripping over her own feet. I have half a mind to toss her over my shoulder and carry her the rest of the way there, but that wouldn’t be the kind of entrance we need. So, instead, I let her lean into me, and I walk slowly down each step.
When we get to the bottom of the stairs, I briefly stop and look around to take in the crowd. Smoke fills the air, stinging my lungs. My eyes move over the bar, and to the dozens of tables in front of a brightly lit stage. The lighting is dim, but I notice a couple familiar faces, none of which are on my shit list. I catch Mouse looking up curiously, her eyes wide and bright, most likely looking at every little nook to see if her sister is hiding. She takes in the sights and sounds, and I wish like hell that she didn’t have to endure this, but life isn’t fair and if we want to find her sister and, more importantly, my father, this is what we have to do.
I squeeze her hand tightly as a reminder to keep her eyes down, and she complies. I walk her to a table closest to the wall and sit her down in one of the chairs. I like to keep my back to the wall, so no one can sneak up behind me. When you have as many enemies as I do, you don’t ever let your guard down.
A cocktail waitress in nothing but some panties and a bowtie walks up to the table, a bright smile on her red painted lips. I hear a slight gasp from Mouse, as I’m certain she noticed the waitress is topless. I order her a glass of wine and myself a whiskey. She could use a little something to take the edge off.
The waitress tramps off, and I shrug out of my jacket. The room is hot with all the bullshit these high society men are spewing. When the waitress comes back with our drinks, I see two of the guys I typically do business with walking our way. Mouse squeaks beside me, clasping the wine glass between her small hands.
“Xander Rossi…” I h
ear Blaine chuckle as I take my glass of whiskey into my hands and lean back in my chair. It’s easy to fool people into believing you’re relaxed when you’ve been doing it for years. Charlie, his partner, gives me a nod, his eyes closing in on Mouse, who is fidgeting with the wine glass now.
“Blaine. How are you?” I see the curiosity and desire pool in his gaze when he notices her sitting beside me. I usually don’t have a woman with me when I come to these kinds of events. Matter of fact this might be the first time he’s ever seen me accompanied by a woman.
“Good, very good actually. We’re planning on setting up some new distribution. Your brother still selling, too?”
I swirl the whiskey around in my glass. “Of course. We’re running a fucking empire, Blaine. You don’t just stop whenever you want.”
Blaine nods, his eyes still on Mouse. I’m growing slightly irritated with each passing second. Yes, she’s beautiful and yes, she oozes a naivety most men would love to have but she is mine. All fucking mine, and I’m not sharing her with any of these fuckers.
“I figured, but word on the street is that he got married.”
I nod, taking a drink from my glass. The burn of the whiskey down my throat heats my cold insides. “He did. But he’s still fucking working for me. Why are you so interested in my brother’s work? Afraid he’s going to outsell you?” I smirk, watching as his cheeks heat.
“He fucking wishes he could.”
“Lucky for us, drugs are always in high demand. It’s not like junkies are going stop using tomorrow.” I glare at Blane and the fucker is still eyeing Mouse. My annoyance turns into full-blown rage now.
My grip on the glass tightens. “Is there a reason you’re fucking staring?”
“Of course, not... I was just wondering if maybe you’d consider selling her.” For the second time in one night, I’ve been asked to sell Mouse, and it’s starting to weigh on me. All this time I was worried about Mouse blowing our cover, when it might just be me.
