by Xenia Melzer
Renaldo was pessimistic. He knew Casto well enough to consider that a valid option.
LATER THAT evening, Renaldo lay down next to his sleeping lover, hugged him tightly, and basked in the knowledge that Casto was doing fine, safe and secure under his care.
Even in his deepest sleep, Casto reacted to him. With a sigh, he snuggled closer to Renaldo’s chest. Casto’s soft blond hair was like a caress on Renaldo’s naked skin. For a moment, Renaldo contemplated waking Casto to take him, but he restrained himself.
Casto had gone through a lot. He deserved a full night’s undisturbed sleep.
3. Truth
THE NEXT morning, Casto felt refreshed and full of energy as he hadn’t in a long time. One night of peaceful sleep in Renaldo’s arms had done wonders, although he knew that their relationship was still leagues from reaching calm waters. But right then he couldn’t care less.
He was sitting on the bed with Renaldo, enjoying a sumptuous breakfast of sweetened oatmeal, honey cake, bread, and fruit, when he realized Renaldo was staring intently at him. “What’s the matter, Barbarian? You look troubled.”
Renaldo sighed. Having Casto already using that name again didn’t make things easier. If anything, it was a bad omen for their upcoming discussion. “I have to talk to you, Casto. It’s a difficult topic.”
Casto stopped eating. Hearing Renaldo’s tone, he suspected nothing good and prepared for the worst. Not to show any weakness, he reacted with his usual arrogance. “Practically every topic is when you’re a barbarian. But don’t fret. I’m well educated—I’m going to understand.”
Instead of reacting to this half-serious challenge and lightening the mood, Renaldo decided to grab the bull by the horns. He didn’t think Casto’s reaction would be any better should he hesitate longer. “What do you know about the prophecies of the Ancients?” He watched Casto closely, anticipating an angry, stubborn answer, and prepared for an outburst of rage and a heated battle. What he didn’t expect was Casto suddenly turning as pale as a sheet of linen and trembling so badly that he knocked over the tea mug he’d been about to pick up. The hot beverage trickled over the small bench on which the mug had been placed, but before it could stain the furs, Renaldo put it away quickly.
Anxiously he turned to Casto, whose unforeseeable reaction reminded him once again of how little he knew about the person who’d been at his side for the past five years. “My own! What’s the matter? Are you hurt?”
Casto shook his head silently. He looked as if he had just been dealt a serious blow. “No, Barbarian. Or yes—but this is pain not even Noemi can heal. You’ve found her, haven’t you? Ana blod brester stratatos? Your heart.”
Renaldo stared at Casto in stunned silence. He’d expected a lot but never those words from him. “You know the prophecy?”
“Bantu gave it to me. After my escape from the Valley—after I realized that I’m unable to run from you—I went to Lord Bantu. He told me everything and gave me the prophecies. That’s when I found out that—that there wasn’t any hope for me.”
“And yet you stayed with me.”
Casto’s chin went up in defiance. “I didn’t have a choice. You called me, I’m bound to you. It took me a while, but I finally accepted that you would never feel for me like I do for you and that I would lose you one day. It’s just, I didn’t expect it to happen so soon. I somehow hoped you would find your heart when I’m already old and gray—or dead, for that matter.”
With his finger, Renaldo stopped the tears flowing down Casto’s cheeks. He could imagine how that insight must have hurt the proud young man. It was astounding that Casto had still decided to stay at his side. The bond between god and heart had to be even stronger than Renaldo had imagined. “My own! You’ve carried this burden all that time? I’m so sorry. Come here.”
And he pulled Casto closer, caressed his back soothingly, and whispered breathlessly into his ear:
“I love you, Casto. More than anything else in the world. I love you like I can only love one person, and that is my heart.”
Casto sat up abruptly. Anger and hope fought for dominion in him. “Please, don’t play with me. I couldn’t bear it.”
Casto’s voice was as desperate as Renaldo had ever heard it. His stomach twisted when he thought about the weight his heart had had to bear alone. “I would never play with you!” After a moment’s thought, he added in a slightly mischievous tone, “At least not like that. But it’s the truth. Yesterday my brother and I questioned the man who was responsible for the accusations against you. He had some interesting things to tell.
“The reason why he attacked you was because he thought you were my heart. If I had killed you in my rage, we both would be wandering the Green Lands now.”
“How could he ever think I’m your heart? The prophecy speaks of a woman.”
When he remembered how blind he’d been, Renaldo closed his eyes in shame. The shrouding spell did have a part in his oversight, but it still was unforgivable how ignorant he and Canubis had been. “It doesn’t. At least not in the original sense. It’s a mistake in translation. ‘Ana’ is a neutral article and ana blod brester stratatos is not necessarily ‘the sister of the wind.’ In the language of the Ancients, it means something like a ‘kindred of the wind,’ where kindred can mean a woman as well as a man. The translation can equally be ‘brother of the wind.’
“Considering that you call the fastest horse in the world your brother—a horse named Lysistratos, of all things, the Emperor of the Storms—it’s logical that only you can be meant. It’s just too perfect. And as I said, I’ve never felt like this before I met you. It only took me so long to discern it because Damon’s spell had clouded my sight in the truest sense of the word.
“You’re my heart, Casto. And that means that you’re bound to me for the rest of eternity.”
Casto looked at him. Hope fought against insecurity in his expression.
Hope finally prevailed. “Is it really true?”
Renaldo kissed him gently. “Yes, my own. It’s true. You’re mine. Mine alone.”
A groan escaped from Casto’s throat, full of hunger and lust. He still resented being viewed as a possession, but after everything that had happened during the past few days, after the immense emotional and physical pressure he’d had to bear, he longed for reassurance that things were getting back to normal.
The longing was so strong that for the time being, he was willing to subordinate everything else to it. Renaldo seemed to follow a similar train of thought. He pulled Casto closer, gliding his hands over Casto’s naked back, his tongue delving demandingly between Casto’s lips.
Casto nestled closely to him. He clung to Renaldo’s torso and rubbed his hips against the sturdy muscles of Renaldo’s legs.
Renaldo laid him down on the furs, stripped off his linen trousers, and looked at him lovingly. “You’re so gorgeous, my own.”
He traced Casto’s abs, which started to tremble under his touch. Goose bumps appeared where he’d inflamed Casto’s nerve endings. Whimpering, Casto raised his hips, begging silently for more.
Renaldo skimmed strong hands over Casto’s pelvis, touching it briefly, bringing his cock to life, and then he retreated, following the curve of Casto’s legs down to his knees.
Helpless in his lust, Casto reached for Renaldo’s shoulders, trying to pull him close, but Renaldo resisted, with a deep, lustful laugh.
“Oh no, my beautiful one, my precious love. I’ve just started, and I’ll be damned if I don’t enjoy myself to the fullest.”
Casto whimpered in frustration but ceased when Renaldo’s lips closed over his right nipple and he started to suck.
“Please, my lord. You’re torturing me.”
Instead of answering, Renaldo started to fondle Casto’s cock in the same rhythm as the sucking on the nipple. It didn’t take long until Casto yelled with lust. His hips bucked helplessly under Renaldo’s skillful attack, his whole body wreathed in flames. Every fiber of his being longed
to be possessed by him. When Renaldo let go of his cock and started penetrating him with fingers slick with oil, Casto started to beg, breathless this time and incoherent, completely overwhelmed by his longing for this man whose very existence he had cursed from the bottom of his heart only a few days ago.
“My lord, please. Whatever you want. Everything. But please don’t stop. I’ll do anything. Everything!”
Renaldo moved up and kissed him, silencing his pleas effectively. His fingers were still buried deep inside Casto, moving around and sending bursts of pleasure through his body every time they grazed his gland.
Casto undulated beneath Renaldo, unable to bear the sweet torture any longer. He wanted—no, he had to feel his lord. He managed to turn under him, to offer himself like a gift that fate itself had given the demigod.
A muffled sound escaped from Renaldo, like a sigh suppressed at the very last moment. He, too, was at the limit of what he could bear. The knowledge of who Casto really was, why Renaldo felt so drawn to him, only heightened his eagerness for his body.
“Casto.” Casto’s name was like a prayer on his lips, and he drank in the sight of him like a dehydrated man would a cup of water. He caressed Casto’s back—his precious heart. Renaldo wanted to savor the moment as long as possible, but then Casto started begging again, his voice dark with lust, his ass a tempting invitation, and Renaldo couldn’t resist any longer. He grabbed Casto’s hips and penetrated him deeply.
As he thrust into Casto, Renaldo lost control. A red fog, similar to the first time he’d had sex with Casto, clouded his thoughts.
Before he knew it, the world exploded in ecstasy.
Casto felt his Barbarian finally penetrating him, ending the torture. He shouted his consent and arched up invitingly, his whole body turned into a recipient vessel. Seeing how Renaldo was taking him, how hard and recklessly he thrust into him, Casto figured he had lost control. But he didn’t mind, since it meant that he, too, could give in completely. After everything they had been through, it was a heady feeling. Casto was surprised at how easily he trusted the Barbarian again—at least in bed.
They came at the same time, the climax of one catalyzing that of the other, a sweet torment that seemed to last forever until Casto was too exhausted to move.
For some time they lay there, still intimately joined, until Renaldo got up slowly and pulled out of Casto. He grabbed his shoulder, turned him around, and kissed him, full of love. “Did I hurt you?” He sounded worried.
Renaldo hadn’t forgiven himself for what he’d done to his most precious possession, and the thought that he could have taken the sex too far, even though Casto had wanted it, made him queasy. It was so hard to maintain his self-control around Casto, but if he wanted the young man to ever forgive him, he had to tread carefully.
“No, you didn’t hurt me, Barbarian. You exhausted me. It was wonderful.”
Again they kissed. Renaldo’s lips traced Casto’s neck up to his earlobe, and lovingly he blew his breath over the soft skin.
“That’s a relief. I’ve got to admit, I lost control. It was simply too much, having you again. You’ve no idea how much I missed you these past two weeks.”
Sighing, Casto cuddled against Renaldo’s massive form. “And I missed you, my lord. It’s wonderful being back home.”
Renaldo laughed contentedly. Since the mood was so relaxed, he dared to tease Casto. “It has a nice ring when you call me lord. You should do it more often.”
Casto’s eyes glittered. He was feeling playful as well and enjoyed challenging his normally aloof lover. “So that you can get used to it? No, it’s better when ‘my lord’ remains special, for example, as a reward for satisfying me in bed.”
The mighty warlord tenderly spanked his lover’s backside. “Do you want to tease me, my own?”
“Teasing the powerful Angel of Death? Why would I do something so outrageous?”
Renaldo barely managed to suppress his laughter. He struggled to keep up a dignified front and laid his hand heavily on Casto’s chest. “You’re incorrigible. You leave me no choice but to punish you for your impertinence. Perhaps you’ll finally learn your lesson when I give you a good spanking.” Shaking his head, Renaldo pulled Casto across his lap in one swift motion. “This hurts me more than it does you.”
Casto stiffened. The playfulness was gone, replaced by nervous agitation.
Renaldo realized, too late, that a spanking was probably not the best idea after the fight he had with Casto. Hastily he pulled back while Casto struggled to get up again. The young man was panting, and a fine sheen of sweat that had nothing to do with lust covered his body.
Renaldo felt like a monster as he watched Casto fighting the panic. “I’m sorry, Casto. I’m really sorry. That was stupid of me. I forgot—”
Renaldo stopped when Casto glared at him. There was something in his eyes Renaldo couldn’t quite grasp. Fear and anger were obvious, and Renaldo could understand both emotions, but what he didn’t get was the longing he glimpsed underneath. The realization of all the things he had lost in one act of stupidity made his heart stutter. There was no telling how long it would take until Casto would trust him again—if ever. With trembling fingers, Renaldo reached out for Casto and touched him, ever so lightly, on the cheek.
Casto closed his eyes. When he spoke, his voice shook. “I want our old relationship back. I want to have our sex life back. I don’t want us to tiptoe around each other. We have enough baggage as it is. We don’t need this shit!” He opened his eyes and they were full of anger. “Why did you have to hurt me? Why couldn’t you believe in me, trust me? Why did you have to fall for the lies of a stupid slave? You ruined everything, Barbarian, and I honestly don’t know if we can go back to what we had. Damn, I’m not even sure I want that. I’m so angry with you, I’d like to punch you in the face!”
Renaldo listened to Casto’s outburst, unable to say anything in his defense. What was there to say? Casto was right. No words in the world could repair the damage his actions had caused. “If it helps, you can punch me. I deserve it. I’d do anything to get our old relationship back.”
Casto stared at Renaldo as if he’d lost his mind. “And what good would me punching you do? I could only do it if you allowed it, which brings us back to the main problem: you’re always the one in control, the one with all the power. When you first spanked me, you told me I could stop you anytime I wanted. I didn’t want you to hit me, but you didn’t stop. You violated the foundation of everything we have together, and it is me who has to take all the risk when I want us to reconquer what we had.” Casto inhaled deeply. “I’m sorry, but I’m not ready for this yet. I need time. I don’t know if I will ever allow you to spank me again. I’m too afraid to trust you.”
Renaldo nodded. He didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to react. “Of course, Casto. I promise I won’t push you. You set the pace.”
As if his words had been some kind of spell, the smile returned to Casto’s face. “That’s all I’m asking, Barbarian. Now come and show me how much you worship me.”
When he saw the stunned look on Renaldo’s face, Casto grinned. “I said I’m not ready for a spanking yet. I didn’t say I wasn’t ready for sex at all. Especially when a certain someone has a lot of groveling to do.”
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
Casto’s grin spread even wider. “I am. And you’re in no position to complain.”
“That I am not.” With a mixture of relief and unease, Renaldo bent forward to indulge his complicated lover. He had an inkling that the precarious balance of power they had established after the battle of Ki’t was once again shattered.
AN HOUR and another orgasm later, Renaldo and his heart were sitting in a heap of pillows in front of the open fire, drinking wine and enjoying the glorious exhaustion that only good, intense sex with the partner you love can evoke.
Casto sprawled comfortably in the pillows, his head rested on his lover’s lap. Renaldo drew lazy circles
on Casto’s bare skin.
Casto watched Renaldo above him and decided it was time to find out more about what had happened to get him sent to the mines. He wouldn’t be pleased about the details, but it was in his nature to face even uncomfortable facts without showing fear. “Why did you think I was cheating on you?”
Renaldo stared at him intensely. For a moment, Casto thought he wouldn’t answer. When Renaldo finally started to speak, he sounded tense, as if he was afraid to give away too much.
Renaldo was painfully aware of how ugly the circumstances that had led to Casto’s visit in the mines were, but he was too proud to use the shrouding spell as an excuse. Because when you got to the bottom of it, he had been unable to recognize his own heart. There was no way that could be forgiven. Nevertheless, he didn’t want to lie to Casto. As painful as the truth might be, lying to him meant betraying him again.
Renaldo took a deep breath. “I was presented with proof, undeniable proof that I had no reason to doubt. A slave named Assani approached me and claimed that you had made a move on her, that you had an ongoing affair with her. To confirm her story, she showed me the golden pin with the sapphires, which I gave you last winter.”
He looked directly at Casto. “The same pin you rejected like everything else I’ve given to you.”
Casto turned pale. The unspoken reproach in Renaldo’s words hit him hard because it was true. With a mixture of defiance and anger, he met Renaldo’s gaze. “I swear to you, Barbarian, even though I never wore the pin, I’d have never given it or any of your other presents to somebody else. I treasure them too much to do such a thing.”
Renaldo felt warmth spread through his body. He’d always suspected that Casto’s stubbornness was the reason why he rejected all the gifts so vehemently, and he’d never given up gifting them in the hope of finding something that would melt Casto’s pride. It seemed his efforts had not been in vain.
“I know, my own. I know. The pin was stolen from your trunk so that the cursed whore could use it to deceive me. And if I had given it a moment’s rational thought, I’d have known you would never give away a gift given as a token of your favor.”
