by Mandy Wiener
Gina says the week after their first date, Oscar was at their house almost every day. ‘We had our customary Sabbath Evening on the Friday night and Oscar also attended. Oscar braaied for us and brought us a cake. Oscar also made his speciality pap for us. We all got on with Oscar and he appeared gentlemanly and responsible. My whole family thought so.’
Reeva spent nights at his home in Pretoria but, as Samantha recalled, it was all a bit too fast and too intense for her.
‘Oscar might have fallen for her really quickly where – obviously, because she had just come out of a relationship with Warren and then with Francois – I think she felt, “Okay, we need to take it slowly.” I asked how things were going, she would say, “Ja, well, we’re going slowly,” like she wasn’t in a rush or anything. She didn’t want a serious relationship at that stage.
‘He was quite clingy. If she got a message and she maybe read it and didn’t write back straight away, he would write back, “Hi, what are you doing? Why didn’t you write back?” and she was like, “Whoa, I can’t deal with this.” And I know at the beginning they had one or two big arguments on the phone. I remember I met her for tea and I said, “How are things going?” and she said, “Ag, we had the biggest blowout on the phone last night.” She said, “I just put down the phone, I’m not interested in talking about it” but that then obviously makes him more mad and he tries to phone her back. They went through a phase where they did argue a lot but she honestly just put it down to new relationship squabbles. And she did say he was intense, but she never emphasised it was a problem. She would say to me, “Oh my God, he’s so intense, but he’s amazing.” She said, “If I don’t write back to his message within five minutes, then he’s like, ‘Where are you?’”’
Gina also details Oscar’s obsessive nature and intensity in her statement.
‘When their relationship began, Oscar ran after her and called her incessantly. Reeva did like him, but did not like the pressure that he exerted on her. She often told me that she wished that he would just calm down a little bit. He would call her many times in the space of a few minutes. Once, when we went to a party in December, he drove past. She told me that she suspected he might have been checking up on her. He said that he was just going to check out a Bentley with Justin. But she was convinced he was checking up on her as he wouldn’t usually be in that area and it was 5 or 6pm on a Sunday.’
This wasn’t the only incident that led to Reeva and the Myers sisters questioning Oscar’s possessive nature, and Gina reveals they went as far as to joke about him stalking Reeva.
‘One night, she went to the bathroom at home and returned to her room to find that there were a few missed calls from him. As a joke, when she eventually answered, my sister and I ran to the curtains to check whether he was outside. Thereafter, we referred to him as the “Stalker”’.
Cecil and Desi Myers also picked up on Reeva’s concerns about Oscar’s intensity. Both mention this in their sworn affidavits.
‘Oscar phoned Reeva constantly. I was very keen to meet the Paralympic/Olympic star and was introduced to him the following week when he arrived at my house to see Reeva. From that day on Oscar visited our house regularly and phoned Reeva constantly. Reeva was becoming overwhelmed and complaining about him making her feel claustrophobic, not giving her any space or allowing a relationship (if any) to take its natural course,’ recalls Cecil. ‘After numerous complaints from Reeva about Oscar’s eagerness to hasten the relationship, I asked Reeva if she would like me to have a chat with Oscar. She was grateful and said, “Yes, please do.” The perfect opportunity arose one afternoon when Reeva was delayed in getting home and Oscar arrived before she did. I privately spoke to Oscar telling him that if he liked Reeva, he should take it slowly as she had recently been in a long-term relationship. I do not recall my exact words to Oscar but I do remember politely telling him that Reeva was feeling smothered with his many phone calls and eagerness to see her daily. Oscar said that I was right and that he would take it easy.’
In her statement, Desi recalls conversations that she had with Reeva that increased her concerns about Oscar and the relationship.
‘… About two weeks before her passing. We were sitting in the lounge. I was watching TV and she was looking at her cellphone.
‘Reeva: Desi, what must I do about Oscar?
‘Me: What do you mean?
‘Reeva: I keep getting tweets about Oscar. About the fact that I do not know what he is really like and that he has girlfriends all over the world, one in Italy, one here, one there, etcetera.
‘Me: It is obviously jealousy, Reeves.
‘Reeva: I know what you’re saying, but where there is smoke there is fire. What if it’s all true?
‘Me: You should approach Oscar and ask him honestly or you can spy on him [giggle], which would not make a very trustworthy relationship, or you can take a chance and trust him and if it is true that he is the womaniser they say he is, you’ll find out sooner or later.
‘We never discussed this topic again.’
Desi says she remembers Reeva telling her how moody Oscar was, but excused his behaviour by saying that he was training hard and was sick. ‘On one occasion, Reeva told me that Oscar had screamed at her over something small – she never told me what it was – and that she had had enough. Her phone rang over and over again, and when I asked if it was Oscar trying to call her she said it was but she was not going to answer it. It was then that Reeva told me that when a person screams or shouts at her she shuts down.’
But, insists Samantha, towards the end of her life Reeva was smitten. ‘By the end, I definitely think she had fallen in love with him. They were only together four months but I think she felt very deeply about him. She was super happy, slept over at his house all the time, were always doing things as a couple together.’
Reeva’s Twitter account is littered with clues that give some insight into the altering state of their relationship. On 25 November, she posted: ‘Wise words for an amazing person @OscarPistorius: The world breaks everyone and afterwards some are strong at the broken places.’ On 6 December she tweeted, ‘Wondering what my stalker is up to? Kinda miss him lurking around tonight …’ Five days later, she commented: ‘Love comes from finding someone who makes you feel comfortable with yourself. Almost like finding the other part of yourself,’ while on 30 January she put up an image reading: ‘It’s beautiful when you find someone that is in love with your mind. Someone that wants to undress your conscience and make love to your thoughts. Someone that wants to watch you slowly take down all the walls you’ve built up around your mind and let them inside.’
Her love for Oscar was clearly growing, so much so that she began publicly hinting at marriage. At a friend’s engagement party on 15 December, she tweeted: ‘Being around this bridal party makes me appreciate my friends & look forward to the day I get married to the man of my dreams.’ Six weeks later, on 7 February, she posted a picture of a spectacular wedding dress, with a resplendent feathery, flowing white train and the words, ‘I’m in LOVE!’
Samantha was never worried about Reeva and never considered that she may ever be at risk being with Oscar. He had never given her any cause for concern. ‘No. People do crazy stuff and you hear stories about how they are with other people, but until you actually see or you hear from the other person that they are worried … Ja, I can’t … I honestly can’t say that I was worried for her at any stage because she never mentioned she was afraid. She never said to me, “Oh, I’m worried for my life.”’
In an interview in the days following Reeva’s death, Gina agreed that Reeva seemed to be happy and there were no flashing indicators to make her think otherwise. ‘As far as her happiness goes, there was nothing ever that concerned me or made me think that there was something going on. She never spoke about anything like that and we spoke a lot. We did. There were no warning signs. None. She was happy. I think in every relationship there’s ups and downs and there’s stuff that you go through
when it’s a new relationship. Everything was normal.’
But while Gina publicly stated that she saw no obvious warning signs, in her sworn statement to the authorities she does mention several incidents that raised questions for her, revealing at least some inkling that things may not necessarily be as they seem at face value.
On one occasion in December 2012, the couple had a blow-up on the phone while Oscar was in Doha that led to Reeva breaking off the relationship with Oscar – although they later reconciled.
‘Reeva and I attended a comedy evening that had been hosted by Tropika. They had an argument and Oscar had screamed at her over the phone. I could hear her talking and when she came out of her room, she was crying. I asked her what had happened. She replied that she had never been spoken to in such a disgusting manner in all her life. She also stated that she refused to be with someone who could talk to her like that. I think that was the fight that started because she sent him a photo that he said she had also sent to somebody else. When she joked about it, he went mad.
‘Oscar tried to call her many times that night. He even tried to call me. He did this often. Whenever they fought and she did not want to speak to him, he would call me. She asked me not to answer his calls. That night, she sent Oscar a very sincere email in which she told him that it was too much for her and the way in which he spoke to her had really upset her and she would not stand for it. She told him that he was an amazing person and that she wanted him to be happy but that she needed a few months to just be by herself because as much as she liked him, it was not healthy to continue like that. He replied by saying that he would wait for her and that he was really sorry.’
On another occasion, Gina recalls that Oscar became upset because Reeva had eaten muesli and yoghurt for dinner. ‘This was a major issue and she carried on about it the whole night. My sister and I could not understand why this was such an issue and why it had happened.’ Over the following weeks, Oscar began visiting the Myers’ house less frequently and Gina rarely heard from him. She found this strange because, at the start of the relationship, he had often called and messaged her.
In her statement handed to the prosecuting team, Gina’s sister, Kim, also mentions several incidents that raised at least a suggestion of concern for Reeva. One of these was when she, Gina, Reeva and Oscar visited the Nando’s drive-through in Greenstone on 10 January 2013.
‘As they ordered food I got out of the car to go take pictures of the sunset. They thought it would be funny if they locked the car doors and didn’t let me back in. They were informed that the food may take a while so they drove around and came to park in the parking. Everyone then got out of the car and Oscar and Reeva then went to go sit on the pavement. My sister and I decided it would be funny to jump into Oscar’s car and lock them out, which we did. I was in the driver’s seat and my sister was in the passenger seat. We were laughing until Reeva motioned to us with her hands that there was a gun by my sister’s feet. We looked down to find a silver gun (belonging to Oscar) lying on the floor of the passenger seat at which time we both got a fright and jumped out of the car. We both remarked how dangerous this was.’
Gina recalls how freaked out she was. ‘Reeva was pointing her hand in the shape of a gun and trying to tell me something. She kept pointing and then pointing at her head. I then looked down by my feet on the passenger side of the car and saw Oscar’s firearm lying on the floor of the car. I freaked out as if I had seen a spider and we both jumped out of the car.’
Later that same evening, another incident took place that upset Oscar and concerned Kim.
‘After getting home and finishing our food, my sister left and it was just myself with Oscar and Reeva. Reeva mentioned that Tashas in Melrose Arch had just started to stock frozen yoghurt with various toppings. We all decided that we should go and get some but didn’t feel like getting out of the car to go inside and eat it. I mentioned we should get takeaways and we all agreed. I then called Charles Nel, who is one of the managers at Tashas Melrose Arch, and asked if we could order three frozen yoghurts with toppings and if at all possible he could bring them out to us whilst waiting in the road so we did not have to get out the car. He agreed. I did not have my bag with me and Oscar did not have any cash so we stopped by the FNB ATM at around 8.05pm so that he could draw some money. I then messaged Charles to tell him I would be there in two minutes and we then met him at the roadside by Tashas. Upon giving us the three frozen yoghurts, Charles said we could have it “on the house”. Oscar refused to accept that and straight away got out of the car to go after Charles and give him the money. I had joked with Reeva that if Charles thinks he can outrun Oscar Pistorius, he has a surprise coming … Oscar got back into the car fuming with anger, having been unsuccessful in paying Charles for the yoghurt ice creams. He said he was very angry and does not want anything for free … and that he does not want to owe anyone anything.
‘I tried to reason with him, stating that Charles had done this as a favour for me as I was a very loyal customer and he did not even know that I was coming through with two other people. He continued saying that he does not ever want to go to that Tashas again. He was then silent for the remainder of the journey and refused to eat his yoghurt ice cream. When we arrived at my house, Reeva and I went inside and Oscar stayed outside. Reeva went to put both hers and Oscar’s yoghurt ice cream in the freezer (I had finished mine). I looked at Reeva and she looked at me … I said to her, “Reeva, it’s just yoghurt ice cream. Charles was doing me the favour, this is not normal behaviour!” She replied that she knows it is not normal, but Oscar is just stressed.’
Samantha reveals that Oscar’s enthusiasm for firearms did not ‘freak’ Reeva out and she was actually proficient in handling a gun herself. Both women had been for training and regularly went to the shooting range. ‘It’s an interest we all have. For me, in this country, I feel like you need to actually go and learn how to handle a gun properly. And I’m not ashamed to say it. Justin and I both go for proper training with the best people that there are, because if you ever get into a situation that is violent I need to be able to use every single gun that falls in front of me and that’s being responsible.
‘Reeva liked it more from a sport point of view. She’d been shooting with Warren before, she’d also been for training.’ In fact, months before her death, Reeva posted a photograph of herself on Instagram, grasping a 9 mm pistol with both hands, her arms stretched out and her head cocked. Muffs covered her ears and protective glasses, her eyes. She wrote: ‘Shooting games this morning! I feel less stressed now:)’
In December 2012, Justin and Samantha invited Oscar and Reeva to holiday with them in Cape Town.
‘I think they had maybe had a little fallout before Christmas and Oscar came to Cape Town and he stayed with us for a few days on his own over New Year’s. We went for lunch one day and Oz was saying, “Why don’t I get Reeva to come down and then we all go away for a day or two?”’ So Reeva flew down to the Cape and the two couples went straight to the five-star luxury Arabella resort near Hermanus. ‘It was awesome; we went and lay by the pool, we drank cocktails, we went for dinner.’ They returned to Cape Town and Oscar and Reeva closed themselves off at a hotel in Green Point. ‘I think they just wanted some time on their own.’ According to Samantha, this appears to have been the turning point in their relationship. ‘When they got back to reality, from there the relationship was awesome.’
Oscar was in the process of buying a house down the road from Justin and Samantha in Atholl and it was likely that Reeva would move in with him. ‘She was pretty sure that would happen. She was running around getting him all the things he needed, like a wash basket, and so on. He was meant to move in a month after it happened,’ Samantha says with a sense of melancholy, perhaps a sadness at what could have been.
But the relationship was not without its problems and a deeper reflection on events shows up its more turbulent, tumultuous characteristics.
One of the more significant r
ows was on 27 January 2013, the day of Reeva’s close friend Darren Fresco’s engagement party. Gina recalls that she had asked Reeva if she could catch a lift with her and Oscar, and when the couple arrived with British athlete Martyn Rooney, Oscar was already in a foul mood. ‘They were running very late. I had gone to get flowers for them just before picking me up. When I got in the car I could sense there was tension. Reeva said they’d been running late the entire morning. I said thank you to Oscar for fetching me and he was very short in saying no problem. I could definitely sense something had happened. When we parked, Oscar and Reeva walked in front while Martyn and I walked behind them. At one point Reeva let go of Oscar’s hand and came to walk with us. Oscar turned around and said something along the lines of, “Are you not going to walk with me?” in quite a stern voice. She walked forward and just said to me, “I’ll tell you later.” The engagement party was really nice, and at one point Reeva called me and said we were going. We got in the car, and clearly her and Oscar had just had a fight. She messaged me and said he had been like that the entire morning. When I asked what happened she said she’d tell me at home.
‘He dropped us off and drove away. She said they had had a fight because they were walking back from getting food, and Oscar stopped walking with her when she said hello to a guy friend she had known for years. He was there with his wife and child and she was saying hi. When she turned around to introduce Oscar, he was standing a metre or so behind her. Oscar got annoyed apparently and said she was flirting with him.
‘That day we had an afternoon nap. When I woke up I had missed calls from Oscar. She sent him a message about the whole thing and now he was trying to get hold of her. She said: “Gi, call back and tell him I’m sleeping.”’
WhatsApp messages between the two would later emerge in court, giving a raw and real account of the state of the relationship. Most notable was the exchange between the two following the fight at the engagement party:
