Big Girls Don't Cry

by Brenda Novak

  “I don’t think so,” she replied. “Boise’s over an hour away and too impersonal.”

  “But Dad’s been in the state senate for…what? Twenty years? He’s got a lot of acquaintances and professional associates. We need someplace big.”

  Lucky tossed her curly, strawberry-blond hair over her shoulder. “Who says we have to invite all his professional associates? I vote we include only those people who are closest to him. Then we could have the party right here in Dundee.”

  When there was still no response from Gabe, Reenie jumped in. “You have a point,” she mused. “We don’t want to turn this into another tedious political engagement. Lord knows Dad’s suffered through enough of those.”

  “Exactly,” Lucky said, and her gray-blue eyes darted Gabe’s way once again.

  Reenie added another spoonful of sugar to her coffee, even though it was already too sweet. She needed something to do with her hands. “In that case, I guess our best option would be to have it at the Running Y Resort.”

  Lucky’s reaction held a little too much enthusiasm. “That’s perfect. Don’t you think, Gabe?”

  “Fine by me,” he muttered, but it was hardly the warm endorsement Reenie knew Lucky had been hoping for. Their half sister seemed to crave Gabe’s approval. She asked about him all the time. Whether or not things were going well for him and Hannah, his new wife. Whether or not he’d be at the family dinner on Sunday. (If Lucky was planning to attend, the answer was always no.) Whether or not he might come to dinner at her place if she were to invite him….

  The smell of coffee filled the air as the waitress stopped by with a steaming pot. Lucky leaned back to allow her to reach across the table. Then, when the waitress walked away, she asked Gabe if he’d like more cream.

  When he barely answered, Reenie wanted to kick him under the table. She would have, except she knew it wouldn’t achieve anything. He wouldn’t feel it. The car accident that had ended his professional football career almost four years ago had left him paralyzed from the waist down. He’d been in a wheelchair ever since.

  Nothing to do but plunge ahead. She’d hoped planning Garth’s birthday would draw them together. Lucky had even left Sabrina, her one-year-old daughter, with her in-laws this morning so the three of them could meet without any added distractions. But considering Gabe’s smoldering resentment, Reenie’s expectations were falling fast. At this point, she only hoped they could survive this little get-together without Lucky heading home in tears.

  “So how many should we invite?” Reenie asked.

  “Gabe?” Lucky asked, immediately deferring to him.

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. A hundred?”

  Lucky cleared her throat. “A hundred is still quite a lot,” she said, obviously trying hard to be tactful. “What about thirty or forty? We want it to be comfortable, not too crowded. I think it’ll be more meaningful to Dad that way.”

  Reenie knew Lucky had been so focused on trying to state her preferences politely, she probably hadn’t even noticed a muscle flexing in Gabe’s cheek when she referred to Garth as Dad.

  God, this was miserable. Reenie understood that Gabe was trying, or he wouldn’t have come today. She also understood that he was still struggling with the changes that had been forced on him in recent years. But what had happened between their father and the most notorious prostitute in town wasn’t Lucky’s fault. “I think thirty or forty is the way to go,” she said.

  This time Lucky ignored her. “Gabe?”

  Reenie watched her brother’s deep blue eyes, eyes that were almost a mirror image of her own, meet and clash with Lucky’s. She curled her fingernails into her palms. “Never mind my…er…our surly brother,” she said quickly. Gabe’s eyebrows shot up at the “brother” part, but Reenie continued anyway. “It’s already two out of three, right?” She plastered another smile on her face.

  “I’d like him to have some input,” Lucky said, her voice steady. Instead of glancing away, like before, she glared at him.

  Gabe clenched his jaw again, and the gap in the conversation stretched, filled only with the sound of clattering dishes coming from the kitchen and the murmur of voices around them. Reenie would have piped up with something, but she knew it was unlikely either of her companions would respond. They were in their own little world now. Lucky’s demeanor indicated she’d finally given up trying to change Gabe’s attitude.

  “What is it you want from me?” Gabe asked at last.

  “I’d like to know what you hold against me,” Lucky said. “What I’ve done to make you dislike me so much.”

  Reenie swallowed hard, expecting the situation to blow up in her face, and was surprised when Gabe backed off.

  He jiggled the ice in his water glass. “Do whatever you want,” he said gruffly. “As far as I’m concerned, the two of you can plan the whole thing. I—”

  “Forget the party,” Lucky interrupted, holding her chin at a challenging angle. “Just answer my question.”

  His scowl darkened. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

  He started to wheel himself away, but Lucky stood and intercepted him, boldly placing a hand on his well-muscled arm. “No, I’ll leave. You stay and keep on pouting about the fact that your father slept with my mother twenty-six years ago, since you can’t seem to get over it,” she said. “But I want you to know I’ve finally realized something.” She grabbed her purse before turning her attention to him once again. “I was a fool for wanting you to like me. I was a fool for trying as hard as I have to convince you I might make a good friend.” She gave him a bitter smile. “Go to hell, Gabe. I don’t care if my husband loves you like a brother, if the father I’ve grown to respect worships the ground beneath your feet, if Reenie insists that you aren’t the ogre you seem to be. The moment I come into the picture, you’re not the man everyone thinks you are, and I don’t want to be part of your life anymore,” she said. Then, head held high, she strode proudly to the exit.

  Reenie heard the bell jingle over the door as Lucky left, but it was several seconds before she could let go of her breath. “Happy now?” she muttered.

  Gabe was still staring after their half sister, looking stunned. Finally he blinked and focused on Reenie. “I didn’t do anything to her. I’ve never done anything to her.”

  “That’s not true, Gabe. All she wants is your acceptance. But you’ve turned your back on every overture she’s made.” Reenie slid around the vinyl seat. “As far as I’m concerned, you got what you deserve.”

  “Where are you going?” he asked, obviously surprised that she’d desert him, too.

  “Keith will be home today,” she said. “The girls and I have things to do.”

  CHAPTER TWO

  Los Angeles, California

  ISAAC COULDN’T HELP puzzling over Keith’s behavior. He vacillated between believing he must have misconstrued the situation, and wondering what his brother-in-law was hiding. A forty-five-car pileup was no small thing. A traveler would definitely notice something like that. And Isaac didn’t believe for a moment that Elizabeth had mixed up the dates. She wouldn’t have pressed her husband as hard as she had if there was any possibility of that.

  Maybe Keith had spotted the congested traffic and exited the freeway before realizing the extent of what had happened. And maybe, somehow, he had missed all the news reports of the accident the rest of the day.

  Isaac didn’t know a whole lot about Sacramento, but he’d been there once, years ago, to meet up with an old girlfriend who’d long since passed out of his life. If he remembered right, the airport was pretty far out of town, connected to the city by only one street, a major freeway. But that could’ve changed….

  Hoping that he’d arrived at a logical explanation, Isaac stared at a map of Sacramento on the computer in Keith’s home office. It looked as if there were a few exits off Interstate 5 that Keith could’ve taken. But the airport still sat amid large tracts of farmland. Would someone not very familiar with the area, someone
sitting in fog thick enough to cause that big a pileup, know how to get around a traffic jam when there were so few options available?

  It didn’t seem entirely plausible, but there was always the possibility that Keith knew Sacramento better than Isaac thought. He certainly traveled enough.

  “Isaac?” Elizabeth called from the kitchen.

  “What?” he replied, still studying the map.

  “Telephone.”

  Isaac blinked in surprise. He’d been so absorbed in what he was doing he hadn’t even heard the phone ring.

  Leaning to the right of the computer, he breathed in the scent of furniture polish as he reached for the handset.

  “Hello?”

  “Isaac?”

  A strong British accent immediately identified the caller as Reginald Woolston, Isaac’s Department Head at Chicago University. “What’s up, Reggie?”

  “Good news. I just received a call from the Research Grants Program of the Center for Tropical Forest Science.”

  Isaac sat taller. “And?”

  “They’re forwarding your application to the interview committee. They’d like to meet you.”

  With Reginald’s help, Isaac had submitted his application months ago, before he’d left the Congo. It was about time CTFS finally reached the interview process. “When?”

  “That’s the bad news. Your appointment is scheduled for tomorrow. Can you make it?”

  Isaac scowled at the iridescent glow of the computer monitor. “I’m in California!”

  “I’m well aware of that.”

  “Can’t we schedule an appointment for next week so I can have a chance to get home?”

  “I’m afraid not,” his boss replied. “The committee meets only once a month. If you miss tomorrow’s meeting, it will push your application back thirty days.”

  Isaac didn’t want to delay his chances. Not when he was so eager to return to his research. “No, I’ll…” The black line that was Interstate 5 was all that stood out on the Sacramento map as he leaned back. “I’ll catch a flight out right away.”

  “Good for you. I was hoping you’d say that.”

  Isaac could hear Elizabeth telling Christopher to get his backpack. She worked from nine until three each day managing a large dental office, but she’d taken the week off to spend with him and had kept Christopher out of day care, too. Now she was getting ready to drive him to his kindergarten class, which started at noon. “Did they sound interested?” he asked Reggie.

  “You know the committee type. They rarely give anything away. ‘We’ve had numerous applications,’ and all that rot.”

  Isaac chuckled at Reginald’s British colloquialism. When he talked to Reg, he nearly found himself saying, “I say, old man,” or “jolly good, then.”

  “You’ve made the first cut, as we expected,” Reg continued. “But I’ve heard Harold Munoz is also applying, and he’s done some great work in the past. The competition will be fierce, so let’s make the most of the opportunity, shall we?”

  Harold Munoz was more interested in making a name for himself than he was in saving Africa’s population of forest elephants. Isaac didn’t like him. But, with any luck, Isaac would be the one going back to the place that had captured his imagination like no other. “If I get the grant, how long will it be before the money comes through? Did they give you any indication?”

  “Judging from experience, it could be three months, or it could be two years, right? You’ve been through this before.”

  He had been through the process, but Isaac wished Reg would show some excitement. After all, Reginald shared Isaac’s passion for Africa and all the animals to be studied there. He used to lead teams to the Republic of the Congo himself, before he accepted the corner office at the university and officially hung up his “field” clothes for a monotonous series of tweed jackets. “Just making conversation,” Isaac said.

  “I see. Well, it’s too early to tell.”

  And, as usual, Reg was too conservative to speculate. “Right. I’ll see you later, then.”

  “Do you need a ride home from the airport?” his boss asked before Isaac could hang up.

  Isaac considered his options. He’d returned from the Republic of the Congo almost a month ago, but as soon as he’d settled into his small condo and caught up on what he’d missed at the university, he’d come to California to see his sister, niece and nephew. He didn’t really want to contact some friend or other he hadn’t spoken to in over a year and suddenly ask a favor, which meant he’d have to take a cab. He figured he might as well spend the time talking to Reg, rather than ride alone. “Sure, if you don’t mind.”

  “I don’t mind. Leave a message on my voice mail with your time of arrival. I’m heading into a faculty meeting right now.”

  Isaac agreed and disconnected, then retrieved the phone book so he could arrange his flight. Fifteen minutes later, he was eager to pack so he wouldn’t miss his plane.

  Quickly collecting his day planner, he stood and started out of the room. But then his eye caught the computer screen once again.

  Keith must have taken the exit called Power Line Road and avoided the whole pileup, he decided. Elizabeth admitted that when he was out of town she rarely heard from him. He was probably as absorbed by his work as Isaac was and had forgotten about the detour in Sacramento by the time he returned home.

  In any case, what Isaac had sensed in his brother-in-law this morning wasn’t anything to worry about. Elizabeth was going to be fine.

  With a click of the mouse, he closed the map.

  Dundee, Idaho

  REENIE SLOWED as she passed the small farm for sale a few miles from her home.

  “Mommy, why are you stopping?” six-year-old Isabella demanded from the back seat of the old minivan.

  Reenie had just picked up her three daughters from school. It was raining and had been for most of the afternoon. She could smell the crushed autumn leaves on her children’s boots, the cool wet of the outdoors on their raincoats and umbrellas, the musty scent of their damp hair. “So I can dream,” she said.

  Angela, older than Isabella by two years, was sitting in the back, too. “Mom loves that farm, silly,” she said. “Since it went up for sale, she stops here almost every time we pass by.”

  Reenie smiled at Angela’s don’t-you-know-anything attitude and pulled onto the shoulder so she wouldn’t cause an accident.

  “Are you sure Daddy won’t move here?” Jennifer asked. The oldest at ten, she always tried to claim the passenger seat. But for safety’s sake, Reenie made her ride in back with her sister.

  The wipers continued to beat across the windshield. “I’m sure,” Reenie said, watching as great gusts of wind turned the rusty weather vane on the old barn.

  “Can’t you talk him into it?” The snaps of Jennifer’s raincoat made a popping noise as she removed it.

  “No.” Suppressing a sigh, Reenie turned down the heater. She’d tried to convince Keith that the Higley farm would be a wonderful place to raise their girls. She’d spoken to him about it again and again, but he wanted no part of such a big project. He wasn’t the type to remodel or farm, he told her. He traveled too much.

  But she’d thought the farm might eventually provide a way for him to settle down and stay in one place. They could raise and sell a certain breed of dog or horse or pig. They could stable horses or plant crops or lease out the extra land. Reenie knew how to ride. She could even give lessons to the kids in town who rarely had the chance to sit in a saddle. Maybe she and Keith wouldn’t make a mint with their little farm, but he wasn’t earning all that much right now. The company he worked for made plenty of grandiose promises for later, but “later” never came. At least with the farm they’d be together. If finances became a problem, she could always go back to teaching. The life she had now was nice, comfortable. She took care of her girls, helped her mother with various charities and volunteered at the elementary school. But it wasn’t enough. What she really wanted was a good challe
nge. And for Keith to stay in Dundee.

  “He won’t move here ever?” Jennifer pressed.

  “Maybe in a few years.” All his traveling had to be taxing, but Keith never complained. He loved his job, and she loved him. It was that simple. She’d known there wasn’t anyone else for her the day they’d first met. He’d walked into the Homecoming Dance, the new kid everyone had been talking about, and Reenie’s heart had dropped to her knees. She couldn’t remember ever having that kind of reaction to another man. It wasn’t because Keith was so handsome, although his rugged, angular face, dark blond hair and brown eyes certainly appealed to her. His confidence was what drew her, his strength. He was one of the few boys she couldn’t intimidate with the force of her own personality.

  “What time’s Daddy coming home?” Angela asked.

  Reminded of Keith’s call, which she’d received at her mother’s house earlier, Reenie frowned and put the transmission into Drive. “Not for a while.”

  “But you said he’d be here for dinner!” Jennifer complained.

  The heater whirred softly as Reenie leaned forward to glance up at a darkening sky. “He would’ve been, if not for this storm.” She threw them a rueful smile. Jennifer and Angela looked almost exactly like Keith, especially Angela, who insisted on wearing her blond hair short. Blue-eyed Isabella, however, had hair so dark it was nearly black, like Reenie’s.

  “There’s always some reason he can’t be here,” Jennifer muttered.

  Ignoring the pique in her daughter’s voice, Reenie checked over her shoulder before pulling onto the road. “I guess the weather’s even worse in Boise.”

  “Is he stuck up in the sky, circling around and around, like that one time when it was snowing and he couldn’t land?” Angela asked, sounding a bit frightened.

  “No. The plane hasn’t even taken off yet. They’re holding it in Los Angeles until the weather clears up.”

  “He’ll be home tonight, though, won’t he?” Isabella said.