by Brenda Novak
“Mom, Dad, I—I’ve made a terrible mistake,” Keith said.
Liz dug deeper into the cuticle of her thumb, drawing blood. So she was nothing more than a mistake? She should’ve let Isaac accompany her here, as he’d suggested. But she’d thought, she’d hoped, that Keith would come to his senses the moment he saw her, that he’d realize how much he loved her and that they could figure out a positive solution. Why would she want Isaac as a witness to that? He’d never understand why she’d consider taking Keith back.
“You had an affair!” Georgia gasped.
Keith’s eyebrows drew together, but his eyes never wavered from Liz’s. Liz got the impression that he missed her, too. But something held him back. “It started out that way,” he said softly.
At this, Liz’s knees nearly buckled. Georgia swooned, and Frank rushed to his wife’s side. “Is that why Reenie’s divorcing you?” Georgia asked as his father gripped her hand. “Because…because you cheated on her?”
Keith blanched but nodded.
The color drained from Georgia’s face, leaving her as pale as her son. “So who is this woman? I’ve never seen her before in my life. But she claims you’re married to her.”
“He can’t be married to her,” Frank said. “He already has a wife.”
“We are married,” Elizabeth insisted. “And we have two children.”
When Keith didn’t deny it, Georgia’s eyes narrowed. “No! Keith, you wouldn’t…you…that’s illegal. We brought you up better than that.”
“Where are the kids?” Frank asked.
Liz took two pictures from her purse. “Christopher, our son, is with my brother.” She handed Chris’s picture to Frank and Mica’s to Georgia. “Mica, our daughter, is in school.”
Stupefied, they stared down at the grandchildren they’d never known they had.
“In school where?” Keith asked, and Liz felt her first flicker of hope. She could tell he was eager to see them.
“Caldwell Elementary.”
Georgia managed to pull her attention from the photographs. “Here in Dundee?” she cried.
Liz nodded. “I’ve rented the house across the street from the Holbrooks.”
“Oh God,” she said, and crumpled into her seat.
* * *
THAT AFTERNOON, Reenie let the van idle at the curb as she tapped the steering wheel, waiting nervously for her girls to get out of class. Had Jennifer, Angela and Isabella had any more contact with Mica or Christopher? If so, had Liz’s kids mentioned their daddy? Grade-school children didn’t generally give names. They said My mom or My dad, not Keith. So there was a chance her daughters still believed having the same last name was a random coincidence.
There was also a chance they didn’t….
She should’ve told them, she thought with a curse. But she hadn’t been able to think clearly. In trying to shelter them, she’d left them vulnerable to a terrible surprise.
Jennifer came around the corner of the building, and Reenie held her breath until her oldest daughter spotted her in the van and smiled. Jennifer was fine. But she was two years older than Mica. Once school started, she wouldn’t have had much direct contact with the third-grader.
Isabella appeared next. She came bounding down the line of cars, skipping and waving papers at Reenie. Obviously, she was pleased with her performance on some recent assignments.
Mirroring her smile, Reenie told herself to relax as they reached the van.
“Hi, Mom!” Jennifer said, climbing in.
“Hi, honey,” she replied, but she was watching Isabella, thinking, That’s two. Her baby didn’t know, either.
“Look! I got a star on all three,” Isabella announced as she clambered inside.
“Wow, good for you, sweetheart.” Reenie examined each paper. Then Jennifer told them how she nearly beat the whole fifth grade in a basketball shoot-off.
Reenie responded with as much enthusiasm as she could muster, but the crowd of children at the school was beginning to thin and Angela still hadn’t come. “Where’s your sister?” she asked.
Jennifer pulled the fourth Harry Potter book from her backpack, which she was reading for the fifth time. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen her.”
“Was she at the last recess?”
“Probably.” She cracked the book, searching for the place where she’d left off. “But she usually goes to the monkey bars with her friends. I go to the basketball court.”
Worry tightened Reenie’s stomach into a hard ball. Turning off the motor, she said, “Stay here, I’ll be right back,” and hurried to the office.
The moment Reenie opened the door she knew her worst fears had been realized. Mica and Angela sat in chairs surrounded by Tom Clovis, the principal, Sherry Foley, the school secretary, and Agnes Scott, Angela’s teacher.
“There you are,” Tom said with apparent relief as soon as Reenie walked in.
Reenie had grown up with these people, so they’d always been on a first-name basis. She’d even dated Tom, way back in high school.
“We’ve been waiting for you,” he added. “I left you two messages.”
Earlier, Reenie had been with her mother, Gabe and Hannah at Jerry’s Diner. After that, Celeste had insisted they go to Hannah’s studio to call Garth in Boise. Now the entire family was aware of what she faced. It felt good to know they stood behind her. But there’d been no time to run home and check her answering machine. She hadn’t even thought of it.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
Tears dripped from Angela’s chin. “Mica says my daddy is really her daddy.”
“My mommy told me so,” Mica insisted.
Tom laughed awkwardly. “I keep trying to tell them that there must be two Keith O’Connells. But Mica insists her daddy has lived here for a long time, and I know there aren’t two Keith O’Connells in Dundee.”
The lump growing in Reenie’s throat burned. God, how did she explain? What she had to say would humiliate her in front of her friends, in front of the whole town. By tomorrow morning, everyone would know who Liz, Mica and Christopher were. But the pain that knowledge would cause her daughters hurt Reenie even more.
“Angela…” Swallowing hard, she glanced at Mica. The child wasn’t nearly as pretty as Angela, but Reenie could see that she’d be a real beauty some day. And there was a bright intelligence shining from her eyes, eyes that were so filled with righteous indignation and pain that Reenie’s heart nearly broke all over again. She was tempted to hate this child as she hated Liz—but how could she? The poor thing was as much a victim of Keith’s mistakes as she and her own children were.
Kneeling down in front of them, Reenie took Angela’s hand, then forced herself to reach out to Mica.
At first, Liz’s child’s cold fingers repelled Reenie. Mica was the product of Keith’s betrayal, a symbol of the most difficult thing Reenie had ever had to face. But the fragility of the girl’s thin shoulders and those eyes, which seemed to know too much for her young age, made Reenie grip Mica warmly. “Angela, remember when I told you that Daddy made a mistake?”
Reenie could feel the curiosity of the adults who were watching them, could almost hear their thoughts flying, What’s she doing? Why doesn’t she deny it?
“Yes,” Angela replied hesitantly. “You said it was like when Isabella broke your favorite vase.”
“It is a lot like that. Daddy’s done something that has consequences. We’ve talked about that, too, right?”
She nodded, but fresh tears gathered in her eyes and fell down her cheeks. No doubt she could already tell by Reenie’s manner that Mica was right.
Mica flinched as a sob escaped Angela, and somehow, that made Reenie cry, too. “Well, one time while Daddy was gone away from me—before you were born—he fell in love with Mica’s mother, and…”
Mica’s gaze dropped to the carpet.
“Started another family,” Reenie finished.
At this pronouncement, Sherry Foley’s breath hissed sharply
as she sucked it between her teeth. “Oh, Reenie,” she murmured. Agnes covered her mouth and Tom’s eyebrows shot all the way up to his receding hairline.
Reenie ignored them and managed to smile through her tears. “Mica’s telling the truth. There is only one Keith O’Connell. But he loves both of you. I know that.”
Suddenly the door swung open and Liz stood there, every hair in place, her clothes without a wrinkle, and sunglasses hiding her eyes.
Immediately, Reenie let go of Mica, and Mica stood and rushed over to her mother. “I want to go back to California,” she said, breaking into sobs.
Angela sniffed and threw herself into Reenie’s arms. “I want them to go, too.”
Reenie slowly stood and faced the woman her husband had slept with for the past nine years. It was difficult to tell what Liz was thinking behind those glasses. She seemed so remote, so cool and collected. But there were bandages on every finger. Surely that indicated something….
“I’m sorry I was late,” she said to the shocked audience, then led her daughter away as if Reenie and Angela weren’t even there.
Reenie wiped her eyes and kissed the top of Angela’s head. “It’ll be okay,” she promised, but she couldn’t hold back the tears when Tom, Sherry and Agnes gathered round to hug them both.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
IT BECAME APPARENT over the next few days and weeks that the other O’Connells weren’t going anywhere. Reenie ran into them all over town. Their presence, and what it signified, made the places she’d always enjoyed going to—the salon, the grocery store, the diner—feel uncomfortable. When she and Liz bumped into each other, they’d exchange quick, uncomfortable glances and move on.
But even if Liz and her family weren’t nearby, conversations would stop the moment Reenie entered a room. People she’d known for years and years would look at her sadly. Her in-laws were too embarrassed to even speak to her. And, worst of all, Mr. Rosenbaum turned out to be right. Her four-week divorce stretched into six weeks and then eight as Keith refused to sign the papers. Now that everyone knew the truth and no legal action had been taken, Reenie’s threat to go to the police meant nothing to him. He was determined to prove to her that he was a changed man, that he’d do anything to win her back. His actions bothered Reenie so much she decided to demand half the equity in the house instead of giving it to him as she’d originally planned. She also made Keith pick up and drop off the girls at her brother’s place.
Fortunately, she had the holidays, her new job and her move to the farm to keep her busy. By January, there was so much going on in her life she hardly had time to think, let alone feel. Keith wanted to move into their old house but Reenie wouldn’t allow it—unless he signed the divorce papers. He, in turn, demanded partial custody of the girls.
In February, Reenie finally conceded so she could end the stalemate between them. Keith signed the documents and he had Jennifer, Angela and Isabella every other weekend, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve and one month in the summer. Sometimes when they were with him, they even spent an afternoon with their half siblings. Not that they were very happy about it. Because Liz’s family had moved to town just as everything fell apart, Reenie’s daughters believed Mica and Christopher had stolen their daddy. Reenie had tried to explain that the divorce had nothing to do with Liz’s children, but Angela, especially, complained about having the intellectually gifted Mica in her class at school.
Fortunately by March, Reenie’s friends and neighbors had accepted Reenie’s new status. Everyone became accustomed to having the other O’Connells around and, as the scandal turned into old news, life grew easier. Reenie only had to avoid her parents’ house, because Liz and Isaac lived across the street, do her grocery shopping on weekends, because Liz worked at Finley’s during the week, pick up her girls a few minutes earlier than usual, so all the O’Connell kids wouldn’t wind up standing on the curb together. And she had to ignore Isaac Russell, who now worked at the feed store. She would’ve asked Gabe to pick up her supplies, but didn’t feel she could impose on him that much. Since moving to the farm, she had a horse, a cow and several chickens to care for and therefore had to make frequent trips.
She wasn’t sure if her visits to Earl’s Feed & Tackle prompted Isaac to e-mail her, but he did so every once in a while. Earl, the owner of the store, must’ve told him when she was in the market for a horse, because the first time he wrote it was to say he could help her find a good buy, if she wanted some help.
She didn’t want his help, so she deleted his message and didn’t reply.
A few weeks later, shortly after she took Bailey to the vet and received the sad news that he had cancer, Isaac had written her again. She wasn’t sure what he wanted that time, but she knew he’d heard about Bailey when he said how sorry he was.
Once more, she hit the delete button and didn’t respond.
Then, as recently as last month, he’d sent her a message to let her know they were having a sale on the kind of feed she preferred. She was tempted to respond to that one. She carried a heavy load these days when it came to supporting herself and the girls. Because Softscape wouldn’t take Keith back if he continued to commute, and Keith refused to move to Los Angeles, he was still at the hardware store. There, he didn’t make enough to give her much of anything.
But she didn’t respond to Isaac’s third message, either. She didn’t even go in to buy the feed. She was finished with Isaac, Liz and Keith, although Keith was having a hard time understanding the finality of it all. Her ex-husband still called occasionally, or dropped by with the hope of talking her into coming back to him. He said he’d never get over her, never give up. However, sometimes she saw him around town with Liz or one of Liz’s children and knew she would never agree to a reconciliation.
For the most part, Reenie was successful in pretending that Keith, Isaac and Liz didn’t exist. She even dated now and then. True, the men she saw were mostly old friends and had no chance of winning her heart. But at least she was moving on. She wouldn’t allow what Keith had done to destroy her. If she was more than a little lonely, she ignored it. Between milking the cow in the morning, teaching school during the day and taking care of the kids and the farm at night, she usually dropped into bed around midnight and didn’t even dream.
As the snow disappeared and April rolled around, Reenie began to feel as though she was recovering. The resentment in Jennifer’s voice when she talked about “smarty-pants” Mica had diminished, leading Reenie to believe that the girls were beginning to adjust, as well. She and Georgia were on distant but not unfriendly terms despite the divorce. And, largely due to Gabe’s help, the most rudimentary improvements to the farm, including the repairs to the barn, were complete. Everything was under control. At least, that was what Reenie thought until she walked into the staff meeting at the high school early one Monday and everyone suddenly fell silent.
“What is it?” she asked, gazing around her.
Beth Neilsen, who taught history, was three years older than Reenie and also divorced. Since Reenie had split with Keith, Beth had become one of her closest friends and often hung out with her at The Honky Tonk on a Friday or Saturday night. When Beth stared at the floor instead of responding, Reenie knew something was really wrong.
“Isn’t anyone going to answer me?” she said.
The principal, Guy McCauley, stood at the front of the room. “Reenie, um, have a seat, okay?”
Reenie glanced at her watch. It was only 6:55 a.m. Deborah Wheeler was still at the back, filling her coffee cup. “I’m not late,” she said, trying to figure out what was going on.
“No.”
“Did…a parent of one of my students call to complain? There haven’t been any incidents in my classroom—”
“No, no, of course not,” he said. “You’re doing a super job.”
“Then what?”
There were a few murmurs and some restless shifting from everyone else as Guy’s lips curved into an awkward smile. “It’s nothing, rea
lly. I mean, nothing new. You’re aware that Ina Guardino goes on maternity leave week after next, right?”
“Yes…”
Deborah carried her coffee to her seat. But she no longer seemed particularly interested in drinking it. She was too busy staring at Reenie.
“And that we’ve been searching, without any luck, for someone to replace her?” Guy went on.
Reenie scowled. “If you think I can manage another class right now, you’re wrong, Guy. I already gave up my lunch hour to take one of Janet Wolfe’s computer classes when she broke her hip. And the other periods I’m teaching math, which isn’t an elective. Every kid we’ve got has to pass my class, which means I get up close and personal with all the behavioral problems. This semester, I’ve got both Riley Caywood and Derrick Benson in my sixth period. And you know I have open seventh so I can pick up my kids from school. My hands are full.”
“You’re busy,” he agreed. “And we wouldn’t think of overburdening you by asking for more. That’s why we’re so happy we’ve managed to find someone else…well, actually Madge found him,” he added quickly.
Madge was a history teacher who always sat front and center during staff meetings. At this, she glanced at Reenie with her mouth open, as if she would deny it. Then she gave the principal a scathing look that said, Big mouth.
Why she’d respond in such a way, Reenie had no idea. But she was glad they were getting a new teacher. Lord knows they needed one. “Great,” she said with a careless shrug. “Who is it?”
She set her bag down and slipped into her usual seat next to Beth. But the ensuing silence felt more than a little stilted. And every pair of eyes remained riveted on her.
Guy cleared his throat. “Isaac Russell.”
He’d muttered the words, making them barely audible, but Reenie caught them all the same. “What?” she cried. “No!”
“Now, Reenie, wait a minute.” Guy’s tone was placating. “Isaac’s a professor at the University of Chicago. He has a doctorate, for crying out loud. We’re very lucky to have someone so qualified—”
