by Karen Rispin
"It's you that's the thief!" Lisa said again. She whirled toward Muthoni and said, "Do you still think Anika's a thief?"
Muthoni shook her head and said, "Kristi told me she doesn't even think so. It's you that's acting weird, Sabrina, not Anika."
Sabrina leapt off her bed and stood there with her head thrown back. Her blonde hair streamed down her back. I'd never seen anyone look so furious. In a low, angry voice she said, "Bring me a razor, and I'll kill Anika cat-face Scott! Without her my life was fine!"
I don't know what made me do it. Maybe I had some mixed-up idea about turning the other cheek. I knew Amy had a razor for cutting out balsa wood models that she made. With everybody staring, I went and got it. Then I walked back and handed it to Sabrina. I tilted my head back so my bare neck showed. My whole body was shaking.
Sabrina lifted the razor and drew if softly down the skin of my neck. I tried to stop shaking so the razor wouldn't accidentally cut me. Sabrina stood still with the razor touching my neck. There was a scuffle at the door. I didn't dare move.
"Sabrina Oats, are you out of your mind!" Mrs. Jackson's voice came from the door. "Give me that razor and get back on your bed!"
She took the razor and said, "I've got something on the stove that will burn if I don't tend it, and Mr. Jackson is gone. Whatever possessed you to stand there, Anika? Stop behaving like lunatics and get ready for bed! We'll deal with this tomorrow."
As soon as she was gone, Joan's high voice rang out. "You know what? I think Lisa is right. I bet you are a thief, Sabrina Oats!"
A second later somehow everybody was chanting, "Sabrina is a thief! Sabrina is a thief! Sabrina is a thief!"
I crowded back into the corner of the room, wishing I could disappear. Suddenly Sabrina leapt off her bed and swung at Lisa and Muthoni with her stuffed bear. They ducked and kept chanting.
"You're not supposed to get off your bed!" Joan said. Her high voice cut through all the other noise.
The chant Sabrina is a thief! Sabrina is a thief! drove through my head. I'd been picked on before. I knew how it felt. Suddenly I levered myself out of the corner and yelled. "Stop it! Leave her alone!" Nothing happened so I screamed at the top of my lungs, "Stop it!"
That time everybody did stop and stare at me. I ran out of the room and shut myself into the tub room. I stood there shaking for a long time. What if Lisa hated me now? After a bit there was a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" I asked, trying not to let my voice shake.
"Lisa. Let me in, OK?"
At first I didn't move. Finally I unlocked the door.
"How come you stood up for her?" Lisa asked.
I shrugged and bit my lip. Suddenly I didn't care what happened. I just wanted to do like God said, no matter what. I blurted, "You know that part in the Bible that says love your enemies?" I looked anxiously at Lisa. "I'm just sick of people picking on Sabrina. I was too chicken to try and make it stop. I thought I'd get left out again."
We sat there on the edge of the tub without saying anything for a while. Finally Lisa said, "I was only thinking about standing up for you. I didn't even think about how I was acting to Sabrina. Are you mad at me?"
I shrugged and said, "I guess not."
"There was another long pause, and finally she said, "Maybe we should pray."
I nodded, and she started. "Dear God, um… I'm sorry for how I've been acting to Sabrina. Um… help Sabrina to wise up and be OK. And please let people see that Anika isn't a thief."
After a second I prayed, too. "Sorry for not standing up for Sabrina. Help me to trust you more like the pastor said. And, uh… thanks that Lisa is my friend." I grabbed Lisa's hand and squeezed it.
There was a little silence and Lisa said, "In Jesus' name, amen."
It was like a weight went off me. I smiled a huge smile at Lisa and we suddenly hugged each other.
"Hey, I know!" Lisa said. "Let's—"
"Bedtime!" Mrs. Jackson's voice came through the door. "Lisa and Anika, get into bed now!"
Lying in bed I thought for a bit, then frowned. I'd never said sorry to Sabrina. I'd let people leave her out without saying anything. I bit my lip. I'd even kind of started it by blaming her in front of everybody when we were climbing Lookout Point.
I got out of bed and walked across the cold floor to Sabrina's bed. "Please help it work this time, God," I whispered under my breath. "Help her not to get mad."
"Sabrina?" I whispered as softly as I could. No way did I want the whole room listening. There was no answer. I couldn't even hear anybody breathing. I felt in her bed. It was empty. I frowned. She was probably in the bathroom.
The floor was cold on my bare feet as I opened the bathroom door and listened. Pale streaks of moonlight came in through the window in the tub room.
"Sabrina?" I called softly. The room was echoing, empty and silent. A cool breeze made goose bumps on my arms. I realized the window in the tub room was open. Sometimes we crawled in and out that window when the Jacksons weren't around. Was Sabrina outside?
I went and stood on the edge of the tub to see out better. There was a dark hump at the edge of the lawn. It moved. I could see Sabrina's pale hair in the moonlight. Taking a deep breath, I put one arm through the small window. I laid my ear flat against my shoulder muscle and started to squirm through. That hurt, but I wasn't going to quit now. I was at the stage where you hold on to the edge of the window and pull your legs through when my pajamas got stuck on the latch. I almost fell the rest of the way out onto the grass.
Cold grass tickled my bare feet as I walked across to Sabrina. I could hear her crying. I don't think she heard me coming. She jumped when I sat down beside her. She stared at me for a second and then looked away. She had a blanket around her shoulders.
I hugged my knees tight to try to keep from shivering, and said, "Um, sorry for not asking Lisa to stop teasing you before. And, um, sorry for getting mad all those times, like throwing the cookie and when I got thorns in my hands."
She started to bawl even harder. I put my hand on her shoulder, then took it away. The wind cut right through my pj's. I stood up on shivering legs. For a second I watched her cry. My teeth were chattering from the cold now.
"Um, I've got to go in now," I said uneasily. "I'm too cold."
"No!" she blurted out, really loud. "Here!" She stretched out her arm so I could sit with her under the blanket. The rough warmth of it felt good when I pulled it around me. I sat there biting my lip, wondering what would happen next. I could feel Sabrina's thin shoulder shaking as she cried.
Finally she blurted out, "It's not fair! Your parents always send you chow. They come to see you and do stuff with you. Even when they thought you were a thief they still came and gave you stuff! My parents don't even care if I'm alive." She started bawling harder.
I swallowed and wondered what to say. I knew that my cousin Tianna's parents didn't always act like they cared about her, but they weren't even Christians. Sabrina's parents were missionaries.
"Your mom said to tell you she loves you," I said tentatively.
"She didn't even come to see me! She didn't even bring chow, just a dumb letter with money in it. Even at home they're gone half the time on dumb medical safaris. Our station is the most boring place in the world with no kids. All there is is the stupid hospital. Even the smell of it makes me sick. It isn't fair!"
She started crying harder again. I sat there feeling frozen inside. Finally she started talking again.
"You even have a friend on your mission station," Sabrina said, hiccupping from crying. "Nobody left you out even when you had an illegitimate brother. Esther stood up for your cousin before even when it was my arm that got broken. It isn't fair! At school everybody is always on my case. Nobody got mad at you even when I tried to make them think you were a thief. They didn't even kick you out of the fort."
Her eyes looked huge in the moonlight as she stared at me. She put her head down. Finally she said, "Hating just made it worse. My popcorn bow
l that Mom gave me is broken." She shivered.
"Um…" I said after a bit, "you know Tianna? She thought her parents didn't care either. But, like, after she got to be a Christian, she found out that God could be her Father, kind of. I mean, it's not the same exactly…" I bit my lip. It was hard to say things so that they made sense sometimes.
I tried again. "When things are horrible at school, sometimes I go outside by myself and pray. God is right there with me. When I found out about Rick, at first I felt like I didn't even know who Mom was anymore. God was still there the same, though. It's like Mr. Jackson said. He is our fortress through anything."
She grunted. Then she said, "I don't think it would work for me. God doesn't like me."
"Yes he does!" I said indignantly. "He loves you."
"He does not!" she said angrily. "It's because of working for him that my parents never have any time for me."
I stared at her, not knowing what to say. Could God really not love somebody? I frowned. No way. He loves everybody. Finally I said, "Maybe you could just ask him."
There was a long silence. Finally she said, "OK, I'll try." She shifted around, then bowed her head and said, "Um, God, Anika says you love me. Mrs. Jackson said I should ask you for help. Sorry for the rotten stuff I did, like trying to get Anika blamed for stealing. Um, please help me. Just let things be OK for me. Help Mom and Dad to love me." She choked and started to cry again.
I looked at her uneasily, then decided to pray, too. "Jesus, I don't know about Sabrina's parents. I think Sabrina's mom loves her. Please just let Sabrina know you love her. In Jesus' name, amen."
We sat together quietly under the blanket. The moon sailed high over us. Cold air came in around the edges of the blanket I took a deep breath. Mount Longanot looked like a silver ghost of itself. It seemed like God was pouring a peaceful feeling on me through the moonlight. I started to shiver again, but I didn't want to move.
Sabrina said, "I said I wasn't a thief because I knew the kids would get their money back. So I didn't really steal it. See?"
I nodded.
She squirmed and suddenly twisted toward me. "Um, I stuck some of Amy's money in your jacket pocket while you all were at the party this afternoon."
I stared at her with my mouth open. Finally I managed to shut it and ask, "We can put it back, can't we? Before—"
"Look, if I tell will you come visit at my station?" she interrupted, sounding desperate. "So I don't have to be all by myself?"
| Go to Table of Contents |
Chapter Eleven
My knees shivered harder. How could I promise that I'd go to Sabrina's mission station? What if Mom and Daddy wouldn't let me? Besides, it meant I would have to miss time with Mom and Daddy over vacation. I bit my lip. If I didn't say I'd visit, would she still try to make people think I was the thief?
Sabrina sighed and said, "I have to tell I took the money anyway, right? If I want God to help me?"
I swallowed hard and nodded. "We could put Amy's money back when we go in. Then you would only have to tell about Kristi's money."
"Yeah, OK," she said.
There was another silence. The wind made silvery slithery sounds in the gum tree leaves. My seat was so cold it was numb. I thought of something. If I went to Sabrina's station I might get to help her mom in the hospital. That would be cool. I sucked in my breath. Sabrina's mom had said her dad was on medical safari. That meant they went way out in the bush to help people. That would be awesome!
"Do you get to go on safari ever with your parents?" I asked.
"Yeah, sometimes," she answered. Then she added hopefully, "Maybe you could come, too."
"I'll ask, OK?" I said.
She nodded. After a minute she said, "I'm cold. We'd better go in."
Climbing back through the window hurt my arm again, but I didn't care. It had been worth it. Sabrina and I slid quietly into our beds. I curled into a tight ball trying to get warm again. I was almost asleep when I suddenly remembered about Amy's money in my jacket pocket. We'd forgotten to put it back. I lifted my head and thought about getting out of bed. I frowned. Sabrina never said where she'd taken the money from. I didn't know where to put it back.
"Sabrina?" I whispered softly, looking at her bed. There was no answer. The air felt cold on my neck and shoulders. I snuggled back into the warm blankets and stared into the dark, worrying. Next thing I knew it was morning.
Lisa was shaking my shoulder. "Come on, Anika, wake up! You're going to miss breakfast. I tried to wake you up twice already."
I sat up and tried to make my eyes focus.
"Come on!" she said again. "If you don't hurry, I'm not waiting for you." She shoved an armload of clothes at me. "Get these on."
Numbly I scrambled into my clothes, grabbed my brush, and headed for the bathroom. Cold water in my face made me gasp, but it woke me up more. When I stumbled back out, Lisa was holding out my jacket.
"If we run we can still catch up with Amy and Muthoni. I made your bed for you," she said while she tried to stuff me into the jacket. She kept trying to shove the sleeve at me when I hadn't found the sleeve hole yet. Finally I got the jacket on and we ran up the hill. I'd completely forgotten about Amy's money in my pocket.
Lisa and I skidded to a panting halt next to Amy and Muthoni in the breakfast line. Cool wind blew my hair all over my face. My middle was hot from running, but my hands were cold. I shoved them into my pockets and turned my back to the wind. The other kids were talking about the election.
My right hand touched some big leathery packet. Without thinking, I pulled it out to see what it was.
"Hey! That's my wallet!" Amy said.
I dropped it like it was red hot. She snatched it up and whirled on me. "How come you've got it?"
"Sabr—," I said and stopped. My heartbeat pounded against the inside of my ears. I swallowed hard. I couldn't tell on Sabrina. Not after last night. I chewed the inside of my cheek and didn't answer.
"Yeah, how come you've got Amy's wallet?" Muthoni demanded.
Lisa tossed her head, then glared at Muthoni. "If she did steal it, do you think she'd pull it out of her pocket here, right in front of Amy? Get real, Muthoni!"
"Maybe she forgot where she put it!" Muthoni said, sticking her hands on her hips. "Besides, she was really tired this morning. Maybe from getting up in the night to steal."
"It was before that," I said without thinking. All three of them stared at me.
"Are you admitting you stole it before last night?" Amy asked, sounding stunned.
"No!" I blurted and looked around wildly for Sabrina. She was about five places ahead of us in line. She was watching and listening.
"Sabrina!" I said desperately. She looked at me with wide, scared eyes, but didn't say anything. "Sabrina, please. You said."
Her eyes flicked frantically across all the kids that were listening. Then she turned her back on me.
"Sabriiinaa!" I wailed. She wouldn't turn around.
Lisa looked from me to Sabrina, then back at me. She frowned and demanded, "Did Sabrina stick it in your pocket?"
I ducked my head and wished I could disappear.
"Did she?" Lisa demanded again.
"I can't say," I choked out in a hoarse voice.
Muthoni was looking very confused. "I don't get it. If you know it was before last night…" She frowned. "Did you take it?"
"No!" I practically yelled.
"Well, do you know who did?"
My stomach hurt. I spun around so my back was to them and bit my bottom lip hard.
"I don't get why she won't tell!" Muthoni said, sounding frustrated.
"Maybe she has a reason," Amy said, sticking up her chin. "Anyway, it's my wallet and I don't want to talk about it anymore."
I felt like hugging her. Instead I held myself stiff and quiet to keep from crying. None of us said anything until we got our food.
"Ew, fingernails!" Lisa said when she saw what we were having. She wouldn't take anything except to
ast.
Usually I like fingernails OK. I took some, but it wouldn't go down at all. Muthoni kept frowning at me like she wanted to ask more questions. I couldn't swallow properly. My throat was too tight. I grabbed my tray and left. Instead of going up to school right away, I walked the long way around. No way was I going to hang around any kids that might ask questions. I didn't even want to see Lisa.
Morning sun was warm on my shoulders. Please make Sabrina tell. Please make Sabrina tell, I whispered in my head over and over. Please, God, make her tell. Don't let them think I'm a thief again.
Gradually I started to feel better inside. I stopped and faced the sun. Warm light beat against my shut eyelids. "God, if you want me to be nice to Sabrina today, you have to help. I can't do it!"
A picture of Sabrina's wide, scared eyes in the moonlight flashed into my head. I could almost feel the way her thin shoulder shook against mine when she cried. She'd sounded so beaten when she said, "God doesn't like me."
The hard, mad, scared feeling left me. I sighed with relief and whispered, "Thanks, God, and please let Sabrina know you love her."
I didn't go into school until after the second bell rang. At recess and noon I started playing soccer right away so nobody could ask me questions. I didn't even want to talk to Lisa.
During school Mr. George prayed that there wouldn't be violence because of the election. There was a tense feeling, but otherwise the day seemed normal. Not for me though. I was too uptight. A couple of times I caught Sabrina watching me. She looked worried. As soon as I looked at her she'd duck her head and move off.
On the way home after school Lisa cornered me. "You wouldn't even talk to me today. I thought we were friends!" she said. She was standing in my way with her hands on her hips.
I nodded and shifted from one foot to the other. I hated it when Lisa was mad at me. I looked up at her face. Sunlight made her eyes look gold. She was my friend. She'd stuck up for me the whole time.
"Um…" I said, trying to decide, "look, if the other kids find out it could wreck everything. Promise you won't tell?"
