We come to a stop in front of my building, but I’m reluctant to go in. I would stay out and talk to Nick all night if I could, but our night has to end sometime. Nick seems deep in thought, and when he speaks again, I pick up on the faintest hint of pain his tone. “We’re more alike than people think… vampires and werewolves, that is. All of us, ‘monsters’, really. We’re all forced into lives that we never asked for. Alienated from our old friends and families. For a lot of us, it’s more than we can endure unscathed.”
“Well, you sure know how to make the vampire life sound appealing.”
“It’s anything but, actually. We’re all treated like second class citizens. I just… under all the blood drinking, shape shifting, and general upheaval, we’re every bit as human as the rest of you.”
There’s some truth to what Nick is saying; from what I’ve seen of how he and his roommates live, they seem like perfectly normal people. There’s the small matter that Nick drinks blood to survive, and Landon transforms every full moon, but otherwise, they’re not that different from anyone else I’ve ever known. Still, as a former “normal” human being, I can see why most people would want to keep people like Nick at a safe distance. So I say, “Not everyone would agree with you on the human part.”
Nick shrugs, and says, “Not many of us agree either. Most vampires tend to think of us as the ‘evolution of man’, the superior species… but I see things differently. I don’t think our humanity is determined by whether we’ve been bitten by anything, or if we’re something that isn’t considered ‘normal’ by the rest of society. I think that in reality, there’s a monster inside each of us. It’s whether or not we give in to it that makes us human.”
I look up into Nick’s familiar face, and I feel like I’m really seeing him for the first time. Not the version of him that’s gentle and flirty and intelligent, nor even the vicious, protective side I caught a glimpse of when we first met. This is my first peek at the version that he keeps to himself. I know if I were in his shoes, I would feel a certain degree of bitterness about being so isolated from the rest of humanity. I realize that for the first time, I’m seeing Nick as a human being with thoughts and feelings, instead of something other. And I think that might be all he’s wanted since he was turned.
I want to say something comforting and profound, but nothing really comes to mind, so I close the gap between us, and stand on the tips of my toes to wrap my arms around his shoulders. I whisper to him, “I’m sorry.”
He likewise wraps his arms around me, and, silly as it sounds, for a split second I feel as if we’ve briefly crossed into something deeper than our normal, flirty-but-friendly relationship. Even sillier, part of me wants it to stay this way. But Nick releases me, and the moment passes. He whispers, “Don’t be. You’ve done nothing wrong.” Then he waves goodnight, and turns to walk back home.
Chapter 7
For the next three weeks or so, I head straight for the main entrance after school, and Nick is always waiting for me at the bottom of the stone steps. I can find my way to his place in my sleep after the first trip, but I let him pick me up anyway. It’s stupid, but it’s those precious few minutes with him that I look forward to most every day. He hasn’t opened up to me much since the first time; in fact, he might have gotten a tiny bit colder. I didn’t expect him to start telling me every single detail of his life right off the bat, but I haven’t seen a glimmer of the boy behind his aloof façade since.
Instead, when we talk, he insists on learning more about me. He knows more about me than any other guy on the planet, and while he makes a good friend, it’s equal parts disappointing and relieving that he hasn’t shown much romantic interest in me the past few weeks. If he were to ask me out, I’d have to actually decide whether or not it’s worth the risk to date him, and yet, I don’t want him to slip so far that I end up friend-zoned for eternity. I constantly wonder if the relationships between normal boys and normal girls are this frustrating.
Whereas being around Nick is fun/frustrating, my lessons with Krystal are fun/painful. We practice spells on the roof of their building, both to keep us from destroying the apartment and to avoid being seen. Nick and Landon occasionally join us, watching from afar as I get my ass handed to me again and again. Krystal figured out early on that I learn best by doing, so she quickly teaches me what I need in order to perform the proper shield spell, and then attacks me without warning. After three weeks of accruing various injuries, which Krystal always heals, I know just about every shield spell in existence; most simply block attacks as they come, but others, which I’ve nicknamed trigger shields, can be placed on someone early on, and only activate when they are in danger. With every passing day, no matter how tired or sore I am, I can feel myself getting steadily stronger.
Nick walks me home every night once Krystal decides I’ve had enough for one day. Aside from the trip to his house, our walk to my place is my favorite part of our routine. The hectic, neon glow of the city at night, the low rumble of passing cars, the boy walking by my side… on some nights, I can almost trick myself into thinking he’s actually walking me home from a date, even though neither of us has tried to ask out the other. Once in a while, I get up the courage to wrap my arm around one of Nick’s, which he neither condones nor condemns. He’s usually fairly cold at first, but as we walk arm in arm, my warmth radiates through him to the point where it almost feels like I’m walking with someone alive.
Early in the third week of my training, Rachel corners me after the last class of the day, and asks why she and Jenna can never get a hold of me after school anymore. I could tell her the truth. And I should, since that’s what a good best friend would do. But for some reason, I can’t bring myself to tell her where I’ve really been. I don’t know whether or not it’s alright to tell anyone at all; I make a mental note to ask Nick about the etiquette of revealing the truth to normal people. Even though she seems genuinely hurt and confused, I look my best friend in the eyes, and I tell her as little of the truth as possible. “I’m sorry, I’ve just been busy.”
“Busy with Nick?”
Shit. So, she guessed at that much. “No! Well, not exactly.”
“Which is it, Heather?”
“His roommate is… well, she’s sort of tutoring me, and he just happens to be around during the lessons.”
“Do you really think I’m that stupid? If you’re going to ditch your friends for some guy, fine, but don’t fucking lie to me about it.”
I don’t know why Rachel’s assumption touches a nerve, but it does, and I realize that I’m clenching my fists. “What do you want me to tell you? That I’m running out of school every day so I can head to my boyfriend’s place and greet him pelvis-first? Well, tough shit. I told you what’s really going on.”
“That’s bullshit, and I know it! Don’t lie to me.”
“I can prove it. I’m heading out to meet Nick right now, he’ll tell you exactly what I told you.”
“Fine, let’s go.”
“Fine.”
“Fine!”
I let out a frustrated sigh, and lead the way to the front entrance, where I know Nick will be waiting. I can’t remember ever seeing Rachel this upset over something I’ve done; I’m usually the one having trouble managing my temper on the rare occasions where we fight. She must have really felt threatened by Nick for whatever reason. Under different circumstances, I’d have regretted that my time spent learning from Krystal came at the price of neglecting my friends, but right now it’s all I can do to keep myself calm.
Along the way, Rachel asks, “Is he really your boyfriend now?” I’m too annoyed with her to speak, so I just shake my head, and she backs off.
Nick is waiting at the bottom of the stone steps, as always, and flashes me his gorgeous smile from afar when he spots me. Then he sees Rachel following me closely, and raises his eyebrows. I shrug in response. Once we’re close enough, he says, “Hey, Heather. And hello to you too, umm…”
“Rachel.”
“Right. Nice to meet you, I’m Nick.” Rachel stares up at him, but it’s not an awkward “hey, this guy is actually hot” stare. It looks more like she’s trying to figure something out about Nick, and when whatever she’s trying to figure out clicks in her brain, her eyes widen. Nick nods, and asks her, “How long ago?”
“Four years this July. You?”
“Just over four.”
Now I’m genuinely confused, and annoyed that both of them seem to have forgotten that I exist. I clear my throat, and ask, “What are you guys talking about?”
Rachel shakes her head at Nick, who says, “Don’t worry about it. Rachel, you’re more than welcome to join us, if you like.” Nick glances at me, and hastily adds, “That is, if Heather is alright with it.”
I look at Nick like he’s insane. From what I can tell, he’s helping my best friend keep secrets from me. And now, he expects me to invite her over so that she can learn some of mine? One look at his face, and I know that’s exactly what he wants me to do. But why? I guess, if nothing else, it will prove to Rachel that I’m too busy to hang out for a good reason. And maybe, if I play the guilt card, I can get her to spill whatever she’s keeping from me.
“Sure… she can come.”
***
Half an hour later, I am face-down on the gravel of Nick’s rooftop, my left arm covered in burns. I learned not to scream early on; it might attract unwanted attention. Instead, I bite down on my lip and screw my eyes shut, while I wait for Krystal to heal my arm. Within moments, the burning sensation melts away, and is replaced with the uncomfortable, itchy feeling of skin rapidly growing over a wound. When I have the courage to open my eyes, and inspect my arm, the newly grown skin is pink and raw, but otherwise unmarred. If I had remembered to surround myself with trigger shields this morning, I wouldn’t have been injured by the fireball in the first place, which I’m pretty sure was the point Krystal intended to make. I promise myself that I’ll add casting those spells to my morning routine.
Once I’m back on my feet, and let everyone know I’m alright, Krystal asks me, “Do you feel ready to start learning some of the fun stuff?”
“I don’t know,” I say. “It seems like the ‘fun stuff’ is going to shave twenty years off of my expected lifespan.”
“Don’t worry about that… as long as you know what you’re doing, you’ll be fine.” Krystal quickly explains to me how the fireball spell works, then tells me to aim it at the rooftop garden, which she promises to protect from the damage. The new spell seems more complicated than anything I’ve learned so far, but I’m willing to give it a shot. I close my eyes, and focus on step one: taking any flammable gases in the air around me, and shaping them into a ball. I can’t tell if it really worked or not, but I move on to step two: igniting the ball with a spark of my own energy.
Instantly, I feel a searing heat flare up not too far from my body; I open my eyes to see a huge ball of flames floating in front of me. I panic, and pretty much fail at step three: aim it at the rooftop garden, and fire. The fireball soars left of the garden, straight at where Nick and Rachel are standing. Krystal curses under her breath, and casts a protective spell over them at the last second. The fireball hits the shield, and disperses into an almost flower-like pattern of flames a few feet in length. Within seconds, all traces of both spells have vanished.
Suddenly, all eyes are on me; I don’t think anyone expected me to come so close to killing them. Krystal seems happy with the results, though. “That was amazing!,” she says. “Nobody has ever performed that spell correctly without weeks of effort.”
I’m still not used to feeling like I’ve done something right, so my cheeks flush a little. “Yeah, but apparently I need to work on my aim.”
“Definitely,” Krystal agrees. “I can’t teach you much if you won’t be able to hit anything.”
Krystal lets me practice the spell a few more times, shooting it upward to avoid injuring anyone, then decides it’s time to call it a day. We all head downstairs as a group, with Nick and Krystal in front. Before stepping through their door, Rachel pulls me aside, and whispers, “Holy shit.”
“Is that really all you have to say to me?,” I ask.
“No, I just… wow. I am so sorry, I never imagined-”
“It’s fine. Are we cool now?”
“Yes, we’re cool. Now I’m just a little jealous of your powers.”
“You can have them. Unless you’d rather keep the ones you’ve already got.”
Rachel’s expression shifts from amazed to exasperated. “Heather-“
“Don’t bother denying it anymore. I’m not as stupid as you think; Nick wouldn’t invite a random person over, he saw something in you. And after spazzing on me, and seeing what I’ve really been up to, I feel that you owe me some answers.”
I can almost see the gears working in Rachel’s head. She sighs, and asks, “Are you sure you want to know?”
“Yes.”
“You won’t think I’m a freak?”
“I won’t think any differently of you.”
“Fine… About four years ago, on a camping trip with my parents, I went out alone in the middle of the night… I know how bad that sounds, but there aren’t exactly bathrooms in the middle of nowhere. I was on my way back to our camp when something bit my leg, and ran off. It was intense; the pain shot through my whole body, it was like my veins were on fire. I blacked out after a while, and came to in a nearby hospital. I guess my parents had found me at some point. Anyway, during the full moon a month later, I felt that weird pain all over again, for a split second, and then… I started transforming. I actually heard bones snapping and rearranging inside of me, felt the fur coming out of my skin. I didn’t know until right then that I’d become something less than human.”
Now it’s my turn to say, “Holy shit.” In all my life, even the past few weeks, I never thought I’d be able to say that my best friend is a werewolf. I understand why Rachel was so reluctant to tell me the truth now. Or, at least, I think I do. I may not be “normal” (as if such a thing ever existed), but at least I could choose to walk away from being a spellcaster if I ever had a mind to. Rachel has no choice; every full moon, she will transform into a werewolf, whether she wants to or not. I know if I were in her shoes, I would feel more like an animal trapped in a corner than a human with a condition. I want to ask her so many questions, but judging by her expression, now is not the time. So I hug her tightly, and say, “I’m sorry you had to deal with all this on your own for so long.”
“It’s alright. I just didn’t think there was anyone to talk to about it. I was worried you would think I’m nuts.”
“Oh, don’t worry, I always thought you were nuts. But I’ve always got your back, regardless of your mental instability.”
“Gee, thanks.”
I know Rachel can only handle so much hugging, so I pull myself away from her before she complains about wanting back her personal space. “No more secrets?,” I ask her tentatively.
“No more secrets,” she confirms.
“Good.”
Rachel offers me a faint smile, and slips past me into the apartment. I follow her inside, and as the door clicks shut behind me, I realize it feels like a weight has lifted from my chest. I’d been worried what the people in my life would think of me if they knew what I am. I have no plans to tell anyone else, I’m not quite ready yet. But I’m glad that Rachel knows, and that both of us now know that we’re not alone.
Chapter 8
Mere seconds after I walk through the door, Landon comes bounding out of his room, looking like he’s in a rush. He’s shirtless, as usual, but carrying a black tank top in his hand. He waves at me as he walks down the hall. I wave back, and shake my head; I’m unaffected by his insistence on partial nudity, but I do notice that Rachel can’t keep her eyes off of his well-sculpted body. I consider telling her that she’s barking up the wrong tree, but I figu
re she’ll realize it on her own before long.
Landon sniffs the air once, and smiles. “You know, most people don’t get to see me like this until after a date or two. Consider yourself lucky, pup.”
Rachel’s face flushes until it’s nearly as red as her hair, and she looks down at the ground. “Sorry, it’s just… I didn’t expect anyone like me to be here.”
Anyone like me… I don’t remember telling her that Landon was a werewolf. Then again, she and Nick each seemed to know what the other was without ever saying a word. Maybe certain supernatural beings give off particular scents, and you need a strong nose like that of a vampire or werewolf to detect them.
Landon takes a moment to put on the tank top he brought out with him, and says, “There are more of us than you think. In fact, I’m part of a support group for people like us. People who need a place to go where they feel safe to talk.” Landon hands Rachel a card that reads The Pack in large letters, and says, “You should come. I’ve seen a lot of young weres benefit from attending a few meetings.”
“When do you guys meet?,” Rachel asks. She seems to have already decided to go.
“Every full moon, a couple of hours before sundown, at the address on the card,” Landon replies. He then turns to me. “You’re welcome to come too, Heather, the meetings aren’t were-exclusive. You can just show support and enjoy the free food.”
I glance at Rachel, who gives me a pleading look that I interpret as, “please don’t make me go alone.” So I nod, and say, “Sure, I’d love to come.”
“Cool. I have to go meet with someone at the MOMA who said she might consider putting up a few of my paintings, so I’ll see you guys around.” Landon checks the time on his phone, then looks back up and says, “It was nice meeting you…”
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