Her relationship with Ted had grown from friendship to a comfortable affection. Sometimes she thought they were like an old married couple, sharing their love of working with nature. On the days when they returned tired from several hours of gardening, Susan would go home with Ted and cook a meal for them both. As the weather grew warmer, Ted would drive them both to the coast on Sundays where they would treat themselves to a leisurely lunch then take a bracing walk along the sea front. For Susan it was a whole new life, and Ted confessed that it was the same for him.
The first time Ted had tentatively suggested that Susan might stay the night after one of their outings she had reservations. It was a long time since she had shared her bed with a man. There had only been one man in her life and that of course was Frank. One of her uncertainties was that it would feel like a betrayal. But Frank had always urged her not to be alone when he had gone. You’re a woman who needs a man, he had fondly told her once. You need to be loved and cared for. The fact was that Frank had never really known how strong she was. And maybe not letting him see that had been the secret of their happy marriage. But now there was Ted. She recognized that they had reached a milestone in their relationship and she was wise enough to know that the decision had to be mutual. Ted had insisted that it must be; he had urged her not to do anything she wasn’t absolutely sure about but she felt that things would never be quite the same between them if she declined.
For a while she held back, thinking carefully about the difference intimacy might make to the pleasure they already had in each other’s company. Ted did not pressure her and when at last she made up her mind, he asked her over and over if she was sure. By then she was.
So one Sunday in late March, she took an overnight bag with her when they drove to the coast and later, after they had spent a pleasant evening watching television, they retired to bed together as though they had been doing it for decades.
Ted was so sweet and gentle. He was kind and loving, arousing in her feelings and sensations that she had expected never to experience again. By morning she knew that she had made the right decision. Their new-found intimacy had brought them even closer than before and she felt happy and contented.
As the weeks went by, it occurred to Susan that Ted might ask her to marry him. She searched her mind, asking herself what she really wanted from their relationship. She had always vowed that she would never marry again and really, why change that? she asked herself. Nowadays, no one seemed to mind people being together without the benefit of a marriage licence. They were happy as they were. But as the weeks continued to fly, a tiny doubt nagged at the back of her mind. Ted was a conventional kind of man. Surely he would want to put their relationship onto a more formal basis. Then, one Sunday evening as she was taking her overnight case from the car, something happened to answer her questions in a way that was to shatter her world.
Mrs Freeman was the elderly widow who lived in the bungalow next door to Ted’s. She was often to be seen twitching her net curtains on the days when Susan visited Ted. They had even laughed about it. On this occasion, she was watering her front garden when they returned from one of their Sunday outings. Ted had already gone indoors to put the kettle on while Susan took her case out of the car boot. She slammed the lid down, only to see Mrs Freeman’s sour face inches from hers on the other side of the fence.
Susan smiled. ‘Good evening.’
The woman glared at her. ‘Good evening indeed!’ she grunted. ‘You do know he’s married, I suppose? Or are you the kind of woman who doesn’t care about little details like that? I’ve seen you sneaking off first thing in the morning. Ought to be ashamed of yourself!’
Susan frowned. ‘Mr Mumford is a widower,’ she said. ‘Not that it’s any of your business.’
‘Huh!’ The old woman gave a mirthless laugh. ‘Widowed! Is that what he told you? Well, you can take it from me that he isn’t. His wife’s still alive. Shoved into a home and left to rot while he enjoys heaven knows what with loose women. I think you should know that the disgraceful way you two are behaving is getting this neighbourhood a bad name!’ She looked Susan up and down. ‘I’d have thought a woman of your age would have had a bit more decency about her! Downright depraved, that’s what it is …’
Susan didn’t wait to hear any more. Picking up her case, she hurried in through the open front door of the bungalow and slammed it behind her.
In the kitchen Ted was humming happily, his back towards her as he waited for the kettle to boil.
‘I’m ringing for a taxi,’ Susan said, fishing her mobile out of her handbag. ‘I’m going home, Ted.’
‘Going home? Why …’ He turned to see Susan standing in the doorway. Her face was white and she was trembling. ‘Susan! Darling, what’s the matter?’ He took a step towards her.
‘You might well ask,’ Susan said, holding out one arm to prevent him coming any closer. ‘You should hear some of the things that woman next door just said to me. You lied to me, Ted. You told me your wife was dead and I believed you.’
‘Susan, I never said any such thing. I …’
‘I want to go home.’ Her voice was shrill and trembling. ‘I won’t wait for a taxi. I’ll walk!’
‘No, please! You don’t understand. What did she say? Was it Mrs Freeman?’ Susan turned and walked down the hall without another word but he caught her up, grasping her arm. ‘Don’t go like this. Please – let me explain.’
She shook off his hand. ‘There’s nothing to explain. Goodbye, Ted. Please don’t try to get in touch again.’
‘Well, at least let me drive you. You’re in no fit state …’
‘No!’ Trying not to look at his wounded expression she picked up her case and left.
Afterwards she didn’t remember walking home. Once inside the flat, she gave way to the tears that had threatened all the way home, collapsing onto the bed to sob into the pillow. How could she have been taken in by him? They say there’s no fool like an old fool and she’d been taken in good and proper. For days she didn’t leave the flat. When the telephone rang she didn’t answer it and she saw that there were several missed calls on her mobile, most of them from Ted. There were texts too but she deleted them all without reading them.
By the end of the week, she was obliged to venture out to the supermarket. Donning a pair of sunglasses and tying a scarf over her head, she went during the lunch hour when she felt she was unlikely to run into anyone she knew but she was just rounding the end of the fruit and veg section when a voice hailed her.
‘Mum!’
Her heart sank. She’d forgotten that Karen often popped into the local supermarket in her lunch break. There was no escape. She turned and forced a smile. ‘Oh, hello, dear. How are you?’
‘More to the point, how are you?’ Karen looked cross. ‘I’ve been trying to ring you for days on your mobile and your landline but no reply. I’ve been really worried. In fact, I was going to come round after school today to see if you were all right.’
Susan felt a pang of guilt. ‘I’m so sorry, darling, I didn’t think.’
‘That’s not like you, Mum.’ Karen looked closer, narrowing her eyes. ‘Are you really OK? Why are you wearing sunglasses in here?’
‘My eyes felt a bit strained. The lights are very harsh in here.’
Karen laid a hand on her arm, her face concerned. ‘What’s wrong, Mum? You don’t look well at all.’
Susan opened her mouth to speak but suddenly and without warning, her eyes filled with tears. She swallowed hard but she was totally powerless to stop the sobs escaping her. Just a few caring words and suddenly here she was, sobbing her heart out like an idiot, right here in the middle of Tesco with everyone staring at her. Karen grasped her arm.
‘Mum! What is it?’ She glanced round at the curious customers trying to pretend they weren’t looking. She took the handle of the trolley from Susan’s hands. ‘You can finish your shopping later. Come on, leave it for now. Come and have a coffee.’
Ther
e was no escape. Susan meekly allowed herself to be led by Karen to the cafeteria and deposited at a corner table, while she fetched the coffees. In a moment of wild panic, she contemplated making a run for it while Karen was otherwise occupied, but suddenly she found that she hadn’t the strength, either of purpose or purely physically. Days of eating scratch meals, plus the shock of what had happened at the weekend, had sapped all her energy.
Karen returned to the table with a determined look on her face. She set down the tray and began to unload it. ‘I’ve got you a sandwich too,’ she announced. ‘Prawn, you like prawns, don’t you? You look to me as though you haven’t been eating properly.’
The sight of the sandwich, mayonnaise oozing from between the slices, made Susan feel sick but she sipped the hot coffee gratefully.
‘And for God’s sake, take off those awful glasses and that headscarf,’ Karen instructed. ‘They make you look like Olga, the Russian spy!’
Susan obediently removed the sunglasses and scarf, smiling in spite of herself. Karen smiled back.
‘That’s better.’ She reached out a hand. ‘Oh, Mum, your eyes are all red. You’ve been crying. Please tell me what’s wrong.’
Susan pushed the plate containing the sandwich towards her daughter. ‘I can’t eat that. You have it.’
‘No, I had lunch at school.’ Karen took a paper napkin and wrapped the sandwich up. ‘Put it in your bag, you can eat it when you get home.’ She squeezed Susan’s hand. ‘Tell me what’s wrong, Mum.’
Susan looked at her watch. ‘Shouldn’t you be getting back to school?’
‘I’ve got a little while yet. Anyway, I’m not moving from here till you tell me what’s wrong so if you don’t want me to be late … Mum – you’re not ill, are you? It isn’t something – serious?’
‘No, nothing like that.’ Defeated, Susan leaned back in her chair. ‘It – it’s Ted,’ she said. ‘I thought he was a widower but it seems that his wife is still alive – and in a home.’
‘Oh, dear.’ Karen shook her head. ‘I did warn you, Mum.’
Susan felt the blood rush to her face. ‘I don’t need you saying I told you so, Karen. Not now, if you don’t mind. I know what you said and I know I didn’t listen, but I don’t need my nose rubbing in it, honestly.’ She dabbed at her eyes. ‘We had such a lovely Christmas together. I rented the allotment next to his and we’ve had such a wonderful time, gardening together. We had so much in common, Karen. We were going to sell some of our produce at the farmers’ market in the summer. We’ve had some lovely outings to the coast at weekends and – and …’
‘And you’ve been sleeping together?’ Karen said gently as she leaned across the table. ‘I’m right, aren’t I?’
Susan blushed furiously. ‘You must think me a silly, gullible old woman,’ she said, shredding the damp tissue in her hand.
‘Not at all,’ Karen said gently. ‘And you’re not an old woman, Mum. You’re a very attractive mature woman, with feelings just like anyone else. You’ve been taken in, that’s all.’
‘I feel so ashamed.’ Susan fumbled in her bag for a fresh tissue. ‘You must think I’ve taken leave of my senses. It was his next-door neighbour who told me – last Sunday. It was almost as though she was waiting for us to get back. It was horrible, Karen. She was so nasty and spiteful. You should have heard what she said – that I was lowering the tone of the neighbourhood; that I was depraved and had no morals. She made me feel like – like some old trollop.’ She blew her nose and dabbed at her cheeks.
‘So what did Ted say when you told him what she’d said?’
‘I didn’t give him the chance. I walked out – came straight home.’
‘And he hasn’t tried to get in touch?’
‘Oh, he’s tried of course. He keeps on ringing and texting, but I don’t reply. I don’t want to hear his lame excuses. He lied to me.’
‘He definitely told you his wife was dead?’
‘Well …’ Susan took a deep breath. ‘I’ve been thinking about that. I don’t think he actually used those words, but he did say he’d been on his own for some years.’ She looked at Karen. ‘Devious. That’s what he was. He let me believe what I wanted to believe. He thought he could pull the wool over my eyes.’
‘Well, I think he owes you an explanation,’ Karen said. ‘You deserve one.’
‘I don’t want any more to do with him,’ Susan said firmly. ‘You said he could be a conman and it turns out you were right.’
Karen looked at her watch. ‘I’m sorry, Mum, but I’ll have to go. Look, pay for your shopping and I’ll run you home on my way back to school.’
‘But it isn’t on your way,’ Susan protested as she got up and took the trolley handle.
Karen took her arm. ‘I haven’t time to argue with you. Just let’s get to the checkout.’
In the car on the way home, Susan realized that they’d only talked about her problems and she felt slightly guilty. Turning to Karen she said, ‘You must think I’m awful; full of my own woes. I haven’t asked how things are going with you. How are Simon and little Peter? And how is that new au pair girl of yours fitting in?’
‘Simon and Peter are fine,’ Karen told her. ‘As for Adrey, I’m letting her go home to Holland for Easter. Her father hasn’t been well and she wants to see him and the rest of her family. Seems there are quite a few of them back in Amsterdam. I think she’s been feeling a little bit homesick too.’
‘Do you think she might want to stay, once she gets back?’ Susan asked, but Karen shook her head.
‘No. She’s promised me she won’t do that. She loves it here really and she adores Peter.’ She glanced at her mother. ‘Why don’t you come and stay with us for a few days at Easter?’
Susan hesitated. ‘Oh, I don’t know.’
‘Come on, Mum,’ Karen urged. ‘You don’t want to be stuck in the flat over the holiday feeling sorry for yourself, do you?’
Susan bridled. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever been one to wallow in self-pity.’
Karen laughed. ‘Come off it, Mum. You know what I mean. It’s ages since we’ve had a real family Easter.’
So finally Susan had agreed.
Once Susan was back in the flat, she felt better. Whether it was Karen’s sympathy or just the change of scene, she didn’t know or care. She felt stronger; almost ready to try and forget Ted and his duplicity and start making fresh plans for the future. ‘I’ll be fine,’ she told herself as she unpacked her shopping and put it away. ‘Maybe that Dutch girl will want to stay at home in Holland once she gets there, then they’ll want me to take care of Peter again. Ted Mumford can go and find some other gullible woman to tell his lies to.’
But later that afternoon, as she sat there alone watching afternoon TV, she thought longingly about the allotment. All her little seedlings would be ready for pricking out now. She thought about the little shed on Ted’s plot and how they’d brew mugs of tea when they took a break. Often, she’d take homemade cake or scones and jam to eat with it. Ted had loved that. He had loved her home cooking. Her thoughts wandered to the muscles in his strong arms and how they had rippled as he loaded the car boot with their gardening implements – and although she tried hard not to remember – the same strong arms, warm around her later as they lay together in his bed.
She sighed. They could have been so happy together if only – if only …
Chapter Fourteen
‘So I’ve asked her to come and spend Easter with us,’ Karen said as she unpacked her briefcase.
‘You’ve what?’ Simon turned to look at her. ‘You might have asked me first.’
Karen stared at him. ‘Are you saying that I have to ask your permission to invite my own mother to stay for Easter?’
Simon gave an exasperated snort. ‘Bloody hell, Karen! I’d planned for us to have some time to ourselves as Adrey is going home. I even thought we might slip away somewhere for a proper break.’
‘I had to ask her, Simon. You should have seen her. S
he’s absolutely devastated about this guy lying to her.’
He frowned. ‘Well – she’s only got herself to blame really, hasn’t she? I mean, some old geezer who goes around picking up women on buses. I ask you!’
‘She really liked him though,’ Karen said. ‘They’d been gardening together. Mum had even got herself an allotment. They’d been on weekend jaunts to the seaside and they had all sorts of plans.’
‘You’ll be telling me next they’d been sleeping together!’ Simon laughed.
‘Well – as a matter of fact …’
‘No!’ He stared at her incredulously. ‘At their age? Well, well. He must be a right old dog. Good for him!’
‘Don’t!’ Karen said. ‘It’s not funny. I shouldn’t have told you. Don’t you dare let on to her that you know.’
Simon pulled a face. ‘As if! Right, so they’ve split up. What happened? Was he two-timing her with some other old …’ He caught the look on Karen’s face and stopped. ‘What did he lie about anyway?’
‘She’d got the impression that he was a widower but it seems that his wife is still alive.’
‘But they’re not together so…?’
‘And in a care home,’ Karen finished.
‘Oh, I see. Well, I suppose that was pretty devious.’
‘Exactly. So now perhaps you can see why she feels let down. She’s humiliated and shamed.’
He shrugged. ‘That’s overreacting a bit, isn’t it? It’s not her fault. Anyway, I daresay it happens all the time.’
‘Not to my mother, it doesn’t. She’s a different generation, Simon. In her day, that kind of thing was really scandalous. I still think it’s a pretty rotten way to behave anyway. Morals have may have reached an all-time low but I’d have expected better from a man of his age.’
Simon smiled indulgently. ‘I can see that some of Susan’s indignation has rubbed off on you, my love.’ He put his arms round her and pulled her close. ‘Tell you what, if your mother is coming why don’t we slip away, just the two of us and leave Peter with her?’
She pushed him away. ‘We can’t do that. She’ll think I only invited her so that we can use her as a babysitter.’
Give Me Tomorrow Page 9
