by Ananth
I poured myself a drink as soon as Nat left. The rum was warm. Assuming ice would help, I added a couple of cubes to the glass. It felt good at first but the ice began to sting soon enough, giving me a headache. I emptied the glass in the sink, feeling sorry I had wasted some very good rum, and made myself another drink with plain water, which was much better. I sat on the couch nursing the drink as I caught up with social media. It was incredible how much and yet how little had transpired in thirty-six hours. Something I was reading reminded me of Cara and I called her, belatedly, and as the phone rang it struck me that I had gone from relishing time alone to wanting intimacy, emotional and physical, ever since Cara arrived on the scene.
She picked up the phone. ‘Hey, dog!’
‘Cara.’
‘You said you would call in five minutes five fucking hours ago!’
‘You said you would call back if I didn’t!’
‘Evs.’
‘What’s that?’ I asked.
‘Nothing. Rhea-speak.’
‘Who’s Rhea?’
‘Rhea is my bestie, lives in New Jersey. She’s coming over next month. You will meet her then.’
‘Hmm. If you say so. What are you doing?’
‘You wanna come over?’ she asked instantly.
‘I do, but I don’t have a car. Can you come over, babe?’
‘Okay, see you in a bit,’ she said and hung up.
I gulped my drink down and decided to take a shower before she arrived. Standing under the hot water had the desired effect. My shoulder felt less sore though I still couldn’t raise my right arm over my head. I militantly scrubbed myself clean off all the hospital smells and donned a set of clean clothes. Back in the living room I ate a cookie, popped some of the pre-dinner pills and sat down with a book. Not wanting to drink alcohol again, I poured myself a glass of ginger ale. Drinking had become a habit now, so it was anything goes as long as there was a glass in my hand with liquid in it. Cara rang the bell an hour later.
‘You took your time,’ I chided as I opened the door.
‘I went home for a shower,’ she said, her face glowing, her hair still wet, looking incredibly young in denim shorts and a canary yellow shirt.
I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed; she returned the hug tightly. When it seemed like she wasn’t going to let go anytime soon, I said, ‘Hey?’
‘You scared me,’ she replied, her voice muffled by my chest.
I pulled back. ‘I am fine, it was just a bump. I thought you knew, I’m sorry I couldn’t call right away.’
‘It’s not about not calling me. And it wasn’t just a bump. I was really scared.’ She threw her arms around me again.
I stood there by the door holding her. In my arms, she felt slight, smaller than usual and fragile.
‘It’s fine, girl. I am fine,’ I comforted her, holding her close as we walked into the apartment.
‘Do you want something to drink?’ I asked.
‘Nope.’
She plonked herself on the futon in front of the TV and switched it on. I was hoping for some quiet but having her around was comfort enough so I ignored the noise. I sat down on the couch, legs outstretched, and began to read.
About half an hour later, when the TV was getting quite noisy, I pleaded, ‘Can you turn that down a bit, please?’
Surprisingly, not only did she turn down the volume immediately, she switched it off. She then stood up and began prancing through the house like a skittish kitten. I watched her as she walked around, flipped a magazine on the table, looked at the framed photos on the wall, ambled over to my desk and found the medicines and Nat’s note.
‘Who wrote this?’ she asked, waving the note.
‘Nat. Why?’
‘Oh. Nothing,’ she replied.
I wondered what was going on inside her head.
‘Do you have to take so many pills?’
‘Yes, for a week at least. They want to make sure the bump does not cause any clots.’
She looked up from the table, startled, goggle-eyed.
‘It’s nothing!’ I assured her, grinning.
She made a sad face.
‘Come here.’
She walked over and sat on my lap, straddling my legs. I put my arms around her, holding her tight, and buried my face in her neck. She smelt wonderful.
‘Promise me you will drive carefully.’
‘Easy. I don’t have a car any more,’ I replied.
She pinched my arm.
‘Can I get you something to drink?’ she asked sweetly.
‘Hmm. No.’
‘Do you want something to eat?’
‘Maybe later.’
‘Do you want me?’
I pulled back, grinning, and looked at her.
‘Say that again?’
‘Do you want me?’
I did. We kissed, slowly. I closed my eyes, giving in to the exquisite feel of her mouth, her lips and her tongue. Combined with the mild flavour of her lipstick her mouth felt like a ripe fruit. I pushed my hands under her shirt and caressed her back, feeling every bone under her smooth, satiny skin. She was like a gazelle.
‘Your hands are warm.’
I began planting small kisses along her collarbone while undoing the clasp of her bra.
‘Mm hmm.’
She pulled away and, in a smooth move, drew it out through the top of her shirt.
I laughed. ‘How did you do that so quickly?’
‘Shush,’ she said and brought her lips back to mine.
‘I want to see you,’ I whispered against her mouth.
‘There’s too much light,’ she complained, then pulled her shirt over her head.
Nestled in her cleavage was a pendant in the shape of a swinging monkey, hanging on a silver chain.
‘I got this in Rio,’ she said, as I twirled it in my fingers.
Her breasts bounced temptingly as she adjusted herself on my lap. Her nipples were pink and hard. I took one of them in my mouth and sucked, wetting it, biting it. She took my hand and placed it on her other breast.
Rubbing my palm over her nipple in circles, I squeezed.
‘Love it,’ she moaned.
‘You are so beautiful, Cara.’
Just when my head was forming the next sentence and the ‘L’ word was threatening to pop in my head, the phone rang.
‘Fuck!’ she cursed.
‘Let it ring.’
‘That’s yours.’
‘Fuck! Definitely let it ring then.’
‘No, no. You should get it,’ she insisted as she climbed off my lap.
Very reluctantly I got up to get my phone. It was Nat.
‘Hi . . . Yes, I did . . . No, not yet . . . Shoulder hurts a little, head’s not too bad . . . When? . . . Okay . . . No, I am not drinking . . . Yes . . . Okay . . . Of course! Stop worrying! . . . Yep, can’t wait! Bye!’
Hanging up, I felt guilty. I turned to look at Cara.
‘Was that Nat?’
‘Yes. She called to check on me.’
She made a sad face and said, ‘I don’t feel loved enough.’
She was standing by the bay window in just her shorts; she looked unbelievably sexy and I wondered how someone could be so comfortable naked. I held out my hand to her. With a bewitching smile, she slowly unbuttoned her shorts and let them drop to the floor. She was wearing a white thong. I had never ached for anything before this, in fact ache wasn’t a word I used often, but watching her walk towards me with that naughty look in her eyes, I knew it would come to mind every time I thought of Cara.
‘Take those off,’ I said, as I stood up and got out of my clothes.
13
I woke up alone again. She really was an early bird. Getting out of bed I pulled on a pair of boxer shorts and walked into the bathroom. On the mirror was a note.
Half out of sleep I watch your sleeping face.
Behind your eyelids’ restlessness I see
A dream that waking may not quite displ
ace:
If there were equity you’d dream of me.
The words brought a smile to my face. I didn’t know she read Vikram Seth. I would have thought this a man’s way of saying I love you. That night when we had stood on her terrace in the rain came to mind; her gorgeous body, wet and willing to be loved in every way, those beautiful breasts, her flat abdomen and her long legs. The way she made love you knew she was thinking about every next move, using her body for the singular purpose of deriving and giving pleasure. Just thinking about her made me hard and I turned on more cold water and hurried through my bath.
Getting out I towelled myself dry and texted her.
VS. Nice touch. Didn’t know you knew him.
Duh. Who doesn’t? I also know Nat Geo.
Ha Ha. Thanks to you my shoulder still hurts ;)
She texted back instantly.
Thanks to you I’m sore. It hurts when I pee.
The girl was delightfully naughty but I didn’t continue the conversation, I had to get ready for work where I’d bump into her anyway. Cara was blessed with the ability to convert any casual conversation to sexting and using it as foreplay. Just when I was about to lock the door on my way out the phone rang again. It was Nat.
‘Hey, I am just leaving for work.’
‘Great. I was beginning to wonder. How are you feeling? Is your head okay?’
‘Yes.’
‘Did you eat something? There are some pills for the morning,’ she continued, concerned.
‘Didn’t feel like breakfast.’
‘That’s silly, Sid. Okay, I’ll order in a sandwich. You bring your prescription and the pills, and get here quick,’ she instructed, almost. I smiled.
‘Okay, Mommy.’
‘Shut up,’ she said, and laughed.
I really like this woman, I thought to myself.
The taxi ride to the office was bumpy and gave me a headache by the time I reached. The sudden stab of pain in the middle of my forehead as I bent down to pick up my bag had me worried. Did the doctor tell me everything? I wondered if I should ask Nat to speak with him. Will I be able to make the trip to NY? As I got off the lift and stepped into the office, Aanya waylaid me and gave me a hug.
‘You don’t look so great!’
‘Thank you, that’s very comforting,’ I replied, smiling.
‘No, I meant you should take some more time off, you got out of the hospital just yesterday.’
‘I can’t stay alone at home, Aanya. It’s here that I feel the best, you know that . . . Can I please go in now?’ I asked.
‘Sorry, sorry!’ she replied, smiling, and stepped out of my way.
Lying on the bed in the hospital, it had crossed my mind many times that the accident could have killed me. And the thought scared me. There was still so much I wanted to do with my life; so many more images to make, so many ideas buzzing in my head all the time. Things to do, places to see. The saving grace was that I wouldn’t leave anyone behind, making them sad by my departure. I had nobody, nobody but Alpha.
Yet in the past two days Nat had shown me how simple it was to lie back and be taken care of, to feel wanted, and how having someone around to worry about was a good thing. And . . . easy. That’s it. She made things look so easy. I guess if I had grown up with people I wouldn’t necessarily consider these things special. Cara was wonderful too, and in her own little ways let me know that I was always on her mind. It could be as simple as bringing me a cup of coffee, inconspicuously, in the office. I was particularly touched when I discovered, completely by chance while looking for a fresh towel in her bedroom one morning, that she had bought men’s clothing in my size, just in case.
I had a past too, but no, this wasn’t the time to open that door. Here, in front of me, was my life’s work, well, up until now. I stood right there in the entrance for a minute, looking at the office. We had gone industrial – red brick and wrought iron décor and open-plan work spaces. The glass offices around the corner were for CD, Nat and me. It wasn’t revolutionary or anything; the industrial look had been doing the rounds forever. On the far wall facing the lifts, on the only plain white wall in the office, was the word Alpha and its Greek symbol which served as our logo. I smiled when I saw it because I couldn’t remember the day or the moment when we had agreed, CD and I, to go with it but I remembered knowing in my heart that it had felt right. I thought about how quickly we had gone from the back of a napkin to a full-size agency and how fond of each other we had become.
Cara was bent over her neighbour’s desk, discussing something. I turned around instantly towards Nat’s office and there she was, also engrossed in something on her computer screen. For a minute, I wondered what they thought of me, and then checked myself for being vain.
I knocked on Nat’s door. She looked up from her screen and beamed when she saw me. Her obvious delight at seeing me made me very happy.
‘Hey! Okay, sit down here while I ask someone to get you a sandwich. I want to see you pop those pills,’ she said.
I didn’t resist and sat down.
‘Have you seen the video idea for GM?’
I shook my head.
‘Oh . . . Cara told me she might show it to you when she was going over to your place last evening.’
I panicked, wondering what else she had told Nat.
‘No, she did come over but we ended up chatting and she left pretty quickly,’ I lied.
‘Kid’s done a fantastic job. I was surprised, I mean I wasn’t, but I was.’ She called the pantry about the sandwich and came over and sat next to me.
She took my hand in hers and asked, ‘How are you?’
‘You know, when I walked in I stood there thinking what if I had died.’
‘Don’t ever say that again!’ she said, visibly shocked. ‘What the fuck is wrong with you . . . why would you say something like that?’
‘I am just saying.’
‘You don’t just fucking say such things.’ She was furious now. ‘Moron!’
I was surprised to see her so angry. ‘I’m sorry, Nat.’
‘You bloody well should be. Here I am, worried about you all the time and you go and do stupid things like getting hit by trucks and then say idiotic stuff about dying.’
I was slightly amused because I hadn’t known Nat to swear so much and I wasn’t sure about this ownership she was exercising.
‘It’s okay, Nat.’
‘Sid, for the last time,’ she almost yelled, ‘it’s not okay! And you need to be a lot more sensitive. It’s one thing to be funny—’
I cut her off. ‘Nat, I’m sorry!’
Someone walked in with the sandwich and a Coke.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you,’ Nat apologized as soon as the pantry boy left.
I ate in silence, watching as Nat walked around the room, took the medicines out of my bag, checked the prescription, then took the right pills out and threw away the foil in the bin behind her desk, stopping to check email and answer the phone in between. And she went about it like it was completely natural to have someone in the room to worry about and fuss over.
It seemed odd when I realized, again, that I was enjoying being taken care of.
Stuffing the last bite into my mouth, I wondered what the rest of the office would think of all this. I return from a day and a half in the hospital and the first thing I do is hole myself up in Nat’s room. Standing up to take the pills from her, I asked her if I could leave. Realizing how silly my asking for her permission must have sounded, I stuck my tongue out at her.
She started giggling. I chuckled.
‘Bye, Mommy,’ I said and we burst out laughing.
That’s when she said, ‘There are people out there.’
I shook my head and walked out of her office and into CD’s without bothering to knock.
‘Hi, Sidharth. Welcome back.’
I plonked myself on the sofa opposite his desk.
‘I spoke to the doctor again and he said a slight headache is no
rmal. And that you need some more rest before you start overworking that brain of yours. Otherwise, he says, you are fine.’
I shook my head. He didn’t care if I agreed with the doctor. I smiled.
‘Okay, I have been thinking, what do you want to do about your car? I don’t think you are going to get back much from the insurance and in any case you’ll need to buy a new one.’
‘I guess,’ I replied, still bummed about losing my car.
‘I know both of us put in all we had to set up this place but we are doing fine now, so maybe you should get a nice car,’ he went on.
‘CD, what are you getting at?’ I asked.
He smiled at me knowingly and said, ‘See this, what do you think?’
I got up and walked over to his desk. On it was a brochure for the latest Audi A4.
‘Are you serious?’
He nodded. ‘I know the guy who owns the dealership; he’s practically family. And . . .’ he paused.
‘And?’
‘He’s throwing in a seriously large discount.’
I didn’t know what to say.
‘So?’ he asked.
‘I think so,’ I replied, immensely pleased. I had been mulling over this since the accident and wasn’t sure if I should go for an SUV or a sedan but this made things easier. It was a fantastic car and the bloody thing would come with a discount.
‘Okay. Done. Let me know when you want delivery and I’ll organize the paperwork. I’ll ask them to give you a shout so you can choose the colour and specs. We’ll get them to deliver the car here or at home, don’t worry,’ he assured me.
Roy walked in. ‘Hey, buddy. Look who’s back! What are you having delivered?’
‘Hey, Roy,’ I said, turning around. ‘We are talking about a new car. Mine is finito, pretty much,’ I explained.
‘That’s a shame! What car are you considering? And how’re you feeling, man?’
‘I am good, Roy, glad to be out of the hospital.’
Roy made a face. ‘I hate those places. I know they make you well all right, but I really hate them. Good to see you. Am off for a lunch meeting, just swung by to say hi,’ he said and walked off.
‘Okay, why don’t you go settle in your office?’ CD suggested. ‘Don’t worry about a thing, everything is under control. Sit back, relax. I’ll take care of the car.’ And as I turned to leave, he added, ‘You have to plan the New York trip.’
