He gasps. So do I. “Are you serious?”
“Dead. And you—” Sandy loops her finger in the air. “Have you read any of the scripts I gave you?”
“A few,” I say. She sent twenty: romantic comedies, a few high school dramas, and one totally amazing script called Closer to Heaven about a girl who leaves home at sixteen to join the circus and ends up becoming the greatest high-wire artist in the world. It’s one of the most beautiful scripts I’ve ever read, and that’s saying a lot—there was a time in my life when I read ten a week, easy.
“Closer to Heaven,” I say. “I want to talk to the writer.”
Sandy bites her bottom lip. “I was afraid you’d say that. They got Billy Zack to direct, and he thinks you’re too blockbuster. There wasn’t anything else in those twenty?”
“That’s insane,” Rainer says. “Why are you sending Paige twenty scripts? I only ever get three.”
“Because I know what you like. Anyway, Paige, you’d be better off doing something else. That one will pay nothing.”
“I don’t care,” I say. “It was the only one I read that I loved.”
“Listen,” Rainer says, reaching over and kneading one of my shoulders. “I think this is a conversation for another time. We just got home. It’s Paige’s birthday.”
Sandy nods. “But I need you to move forward with something soon,” she says, pointing her finger at me. “And I came all the way up the canyon to impress this upon you in person.”
“Hey, have you heard from Wyatt?” Rainer asks. We read online that Wyatt wasn’t directing the next movie, which I guess would explain why he left the tour after the first week. He was tough, but we loved him, and it feels weird to be moving on to the next movie without him. “He isn’t returning our calls.”
“He’s doing another movie,” she says. She looks resigned. “I haven’t even heard from Wyatt. But we need to get comfortable with the reality that he’s not going to be with us on the next film.” She runs a hand over her forehead, and I know there is more at work here than just business. I always suspected Wyatt and Sandy had a complicated “friendship.”
Rainer exhales. “We just want to talk to him.”
It’s almost odd seeing Rainer this attached to Wyatt—after all, they clashed for most of the movie. But by the end, Wyatt became like a dad to us. I know Rainer can’t imagine losing him now, either.
Sandy flips her wrist to look at her watch. “All right, moving on. Your father called.”
“Not this again,” Rainer says.
Sandy sticks her hands on her hips. “Look, you don’t want him to be your father? Cool. I don’t think anyone could blame you. But he’s still your producer.”
Rainer turns around and crosses his arms. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Sandy gives her best come on expression. “What do you think it means?” she says. She’s playing hardball with him, and he knows it. I see him hiccup back a laugh.
“You think I care?” he says.
Sandy shrugs. “About being replaced in this franchise? Yeah, I kinda do.”
Does Greg Devon have that kind of power? Of course he does. He hired us all; there’s no reason he couldn’t fire us.
“Hey, Rainer, can I see you for a minute?” I say.
Rainer follows me into the bedroom. When we’re alone together, I feel the quiet of the room palpably. It’s like there is someone else in here that is taking up all the space, all the air. He goes over to the window.
“She’s right, you know,” I say.
Rainer doesn’t respond.
I move closer to him and put my hand on his back. He flinches, but he doesn’t move away from my touch. “Maybe you should talk to him.”
“How can I?” he asks. His voice is quiet. I realize: He’s not angry—he’s sad.
“He’s your father,” I say. “No matter what else has happened, that’s still true.”
He turns around to me, and I see that his face is hard, set. He’s so much paler now that he’s not playing Noah. He looks almost ghostlike compared to how he was on the island. “He tried to sleep with my eighteen-year-old girlfriend,” he says. “How do I forgive that?”
“I don’t know,” I say truthfully. “Maybe you don’t. But you can’t cut your family out forever.”
Rainer’s eyes are cold. “Why not?”
“Because you heard Sandy: He’s our producer, too. He’s going to be in our lives.” I hug my arms around me. I want to reach out and touch him, but I’m not sure how I would be received.
“Maybe, maybe not.” Rainer shakes his head, turning back to the window.
“You know we don’t have a choice. If they want us for the next movie—and it’s pretty clear they do—we have to do the next movie.”
Rainer doesn’t turn. “It’s humiliating. The thought of being a part of something he created, that he made happen? I hate it. And now Wyatt might not even be on board. Who knows what kind of shitty sequel this could be?”
“Well, I’ll be in it. And so far my track record is pretty good.” I’m trying to lighten the mood, but a part of me worries that Rainer could find a way out of it. How could I even think of doing these movies without him? It’s us—on camera and off. I need him next to me in all my worlds.
Rainer sighs, and then he finally turns to face me.
“I’m sorry,” he says. He puts his hands on either side of my face, and then he’s drawing me toward him. His lips meet mine, and his hands move down my back. They feel solid there, strong, and I let myself go pliant against his chest, the tension of the last minutes flowing out of me. “I don’t mean for this to involve us.” He pulls back and touches his forehead to mine.
A knock on the door makes us lift our heads up, but Rainer keeps his arms around me.
“Yeah?” he says.
Sandy comes into view. “I’m heading out, but don’t forget the Awards next week. The stylist is coming by tomorrow with some dress options for you.”
The MTV Movie Awards. I’m nominated for Best Female Performance and Best Kiss… twice—once with Rainer and once with Jordan. My first awards show, and there’s absolutely no chance Rainer and I are not going to win Best Kiss. As proud as I am to stand beside him on the carpet, I don’t love the idea of having to kiss him onstage in front of all those people. Especially since I know Jordan will be watching us, sitting right in the front row.
“You look like I just sacrificed a puppy,” Sandy says. “It’s an awards show—you dress up, you get your picture taken, you watch some people sing and dance and say things they’ll probably regret the next day.… It’s fun. Speaking of which, have some fun today. Just don’t get photographed with a champagne bottle between your knees.”
“That’s specific.”
“You’d be surprised,” Sandy says, waving good-bye.
CHAPTER 3
“Wow,” Rainer says. He’s leaning against the bedroom door, dressed in jeans, a button-down, and a navy blazer. My breath catches a little when I look at him. He is so damn handsome. “You look incredible.”
I glance down at my black slip dress—something Tawny got me for press tour that I kept, because it was one of the only things I actually liked. It’s not as binding as everything else they had me in. Tawny said it was sexy, but understated—which fits the bill for tonight. Rainer and I are going to dinner, just the two of us.
I have my hair up in a loose ponytail, and I’m wearing the gold cowrie shell necklace Rainer gave me at the end of the shoot. I’ve even put on some makeup—I learned a thing or two from hours in the chair with Lillianna, our makeup director on the first movie. “Thanks.”
“Come here.”
He takes my hand and leads me over to the bed.
“Rainer…”
“I just want to give you your present.”
I look at him, his dimple winking. The box is blue velvet, and small. The size of a ring. I feel my heart begin to pound in my throat. He wouldn’t. I know he wouldn’t. I don’t car
e how many tabloid stories about his proposal there have been. We haven’t been really, truly together that long, and I’m only eighteen—he wouldn’t ask me to marry him. Would he?
He shifts on the bed, and I feel my pulse in my ears. He’s twenty-two. In Hollywood that’s close to forty.
“It’d be nice to give it to you on your actual birthday,” Rainer says, nodding toward the box. “Any day now you can open it.”
I take a deep breath. My hands shake as they pop up the lid. Inside is a ring, but it’s not an engagement ring. It’s a gold cowrie shell, just like my necklace, except this one is encrusted with tiny diamonds.
I exhale all the air I’ve been holding. I reach up and put a hand through his hair. “I love it,” I say.
Rainer covers my fingers with his own. “Good.” He leans down and kisses me, but it’s brief. “Here,” he says. He takes the ring out of its case and slips it onto my middle finger.
“Perfect fit,” I say.
“Like us.”
I make a face, and he laughs. “This is why I don’t write my own dialogue,” he says. “Come on, your party awaits.”
“Party?”
“PG,” he says, running a thumb over my cheek. “It’s your eighteenth. You didn’t really think you’d escape without a party.”
“Please tell me you didn’t,” I say.
Rainer plants a quick kiss on my cheek. “Unfortunately, babe, I did.”
We have some champagne in the limo, and by the time we pull up to the restaurant, the bubbles are creating a hazy, sunset-y feel in my stomach. My head is light and airy, and I slip my hand into Rainer’s as we step out into the night.
They’ve shut down the back of Via Alloro, an Italian restaurant in Beverly Hills that Rainer loves. I feel giddy; I’m getting to see some of his L.A. life on my birthday.
The back of the restaurant is all open air, and it’s a gorgeous night. They have heat lamps going, and the trees are lit up with tiny twinkle lights. There are delicious things everywhere—trays of champagne and miniature appetizers. And I see a giant cake sitting on a table—spiraled words spelling out Happy Birthday, PG.
“You’re way too much,” I tell Rainer.
“Just wait.” He takes my hand and winds me to a table in the very back of the space where people are gathered. But not just any people. My people. Cassandra and Jake.
“Happy birthday!” Cassandra says, launching herself into my arms. I hold her tight, breathing in the familiar smell of my best friend.
“Happy b-day,” Jake says. He tries to go in for a hug but is instantly squashed by Cassandra, who still won’t let go.
“Sorry I didn’t call,” Cassandra says, pulling back briefly. “I was on a plane.”
She grins at me. She has on a floral-print dress, leggings, and giant red sunglasses that keep sliding down her nose. I look at Rainer, who is smiling, his arms folded across his chest. “Told you,” he says. “I give the best gifts.”
I toss him an OMG glance, and then I yelp and squeeze Cassandra close again. “You’re here!” I say, still not believing it.
“Duh.”
I pull back and hold her at arm’s length. She smiles wide, and my heart feels like it’s going to burst.
“Glad to see I’ve flown all this way to come in a clear second.” Jake knocks my shoulder, and then he’s opening his arms wide and hugging both of us.
“C’mon,” Cassandra says into his chest. “Like it was going to be another way.”
Jake shrugs, releasing us. “I’ll take it. Hey, you look great.” He says it offhand, and for the briefest of moments I remember Jake and me kissing in my living room. But it’s such a distant memory, it feels as if it belongs to someone else.
I put my hands on his shoulders. “Thanks for coming,” I say.
He wraps his arms around me, and even though Cassandra and Rainer are right next to us, I pull him in even tighter. He’s family. In some ways even more so than my own. Joanna and my parents came out for the premiere, but I haven’t seen my brothers since the last time I was home.
“You may suffocate him,” Cassandra says when I finally let Jake go. I glance over at her, but she’s smiling, unconcerned. “He’d probably let you. He’s experiencing so much guilt about that plane ride.” She mouths the last two words to me.
“My carbon footprint was impeccable until you became a movie star,” he says.
“Sorry about that.”
I feel Rainer slip a hand around my waist. “You mean you didn’t at all enjoy those reclining seats? The candy?” he says. “Sour Patch Kids are your guilty pleasure, right?”
I turn my head to him. “Candy?”
Rainer shrugs. “I had them stock the plane.”
“You flew them private?”
Rainer smiles and cups my chin with his hand. “They’re your best friends.” I let his lips graze mine. “Plus, it was the clear way to guilt Jake into it. I donated the carbon offset.”
Jake slings an arm over Cassandra’s. “Your parents send their regrets, by the way,” he says.
“They’re deep in wedding planning,” Cassandra continues. “And Joanna couldn’t find anyone to watch Annabelle.”
“We tried,” Rainer says.
“You guys being here is everything.” I glance back at the table and wave to Jessica, Wyatt’s assistant, and Alexis—who is, apparently, attending my birthday party.
I peel myself away from Rainer and loop my arm through Cassandra’s. “I need to borrow you,” I say.
“No borrowing necessary. I’m yours.”
Jake clears his throat. “For a limited period of time. Also, I want to talk to you about how you can use this newfound celebrity for good.” His face gets superserious. “You have an amazing platform now, but all I see printed about you are gossip columns about how this dude kisses,” he says, gesturing to Rainer.
I’m remembering this piece that ran before tour about how Rainer had rented out a movie theater for a romantic date we had. It was true. I still don’t know how they found out about it. Someone Rainer had let in to plan it? Reading it was strange. It was like the reporter had been to a version of our night. We had popcorn, not Skittles. We did make out, though. This is what I’m saying: Being famous is like being yourself, but not. It’s like being yourself outside of yourself. There are two versions—the one you know and the one people think they know, and it’s hard to remember which is which. It’s easy to start believing what people write about you.
“I brought a lot of introductory materials,” Jake says.
I glance at Rainer, and he nods. “Jake and I will get started on saving the world. You two do… whatever girls do.”
I lead Cassandra away from the table into a corner by a lightly radiating heat lamp. As soon as we’re alone, Cassandra corners me. “How is it going with Rainer? Tell me everything.”
“Things are really good,” I say. “He was amazing on tour. Cassandra, you would not have believed how crazy it was.”
Cassandra nods. “I saw pics.”
“It was bigger than anything you can imagine.”
“Scary,” Cassandra says.
“I know. But Rainer is great with it all. Seriously, Cass, I don’t know what I’d do without him. He’s so supportive—”
“And hot,” Cassandra says. She clucks her tongue and raises her eyebrows. I look over at where Rainer is handing Jake a drink.
“And hot,” I agree.
Cassandra takes my hand in hers. “I can’t believe it,” she says. “You’re this movie star.” Her blue eyes look into mine. They’re bright. Piercing. “I’m really proud of you,” she says.
I feel something well up in my throat. I hug her close, and she yelps.
“Ask me about Jake,” she says.
I laugh. “I’m sorry! How is Jake?”
She sucks in her bottom lip. “Great,” she says. “I mean, he still makes me stand outside superstores on Saturdays, but I don’t even mind anymore. It’s fun when we’re together.
Can you believe it?”
“Yeah,” I say. “I sorta can. You two look really happy.”
“I am.…” Her gaze drifts over to him. “I think he’s making me a better person. Isn’t that gross?”
“No,” I say. “That’s amazing.”
She wrinkles her nose. “Who would have thought we’d both fall in love for the first time at the same time.”
Love.
“So,” Cassandra says. She squints at me. “You think Jordan will show tonight?”
I glance at Alexis. “No idea. You think Rainer would invite him?”
Cassandra shrugs. “You said they’re being civil again, right? Maybe as a gesture?”
I finally confessed to Cassandra that something had gone on with Jordan and me on Maui. I told her after the premiere. Well, actually, she guessed it. We were with my sister, but she had stepped out to call her fiancé, Bill, when Cassandra sprung the question on me. I told her the truth: that I had feelings for Jordan, but that I had made a choice, and I was happy with it.
“Yeah,” I say. “Maybe.”
“Have you spoken to him since you’ve been back?”
“Since this morning? No. He’s…” I let my voice trail off. I don’t know how to finish that sentence. What is Jordan? Angry? Missing in action? Definitely over me.
I think about Jordan at the press conference. How he looked at me with so much understanding and compassion. Even love, maybe. But on tour all of that was gone. He treated me like a leper. Wherever I was, he definitely was not.
I drop my voice even lower. “He seemed pretty cozy with Alexis on tour.”
Cassandra raises an eyebrow at me. “No chance.”
“You’ve seen her, right?” I say, cocking my head in the direction of the table. “Plus, apparently he’s always had some thing for her.”
“Well, maybe that’s good,” she says. “You’re with Rainer, right?”
“Yeah,” I say. “Of course.”
Just then Jake and Rainer come over. “Sorry to interrupt,” Rainer says. “But you are the guest of honor.”
Truly Madly Famously Page 2
