by C. R. Jane
A wounded cry rips from his lips as he is thrown backwards against the invisible barrier formed by the salt circle.
"Nostra!" I cry.
He presses his hands against his chest, grey wisps unfurling beneath his fingers. The salt circle is on fire, more grey smoke billows upwards. With a flick of my hand, the flames subside, and the barrier drops. Nostra falls flat.
"Lights damn it, I've hurt you." Rushing forward on my hands and knees, I go to his side. He looks up at me, a glimmer of a smile on his lips.
"What the hell do you find so funny, Nostra?" I ask, my voice rising an octave as I reach for him. My fingers press against his arm, his chest, his face. Needing to touch him, needing to see that he's okay.
"That goddamn hurt…" he mutters, still smiling.
"It's not funny. None of this is funny," I retort, pulling at his hand so that I can assess the damage. Beneath his trembling fingers is a dark circle of grey, puckering his skin. It's still smoking.
"I could have killed you!" I cry, pressing my fingers against the wound.
He laughs then, he actually laughs, and I don't know whether to hug him or throttle him.
"I know," he grins, then his eyes roll back in his head and he passes out, taking the decision away from me.
3 - The Second Spell
An hour later, Nostra still hasn't awoken. I've spent the whole time waiting for him to stir, hoping that whatever I've done to him, wasn't enough to finish him off for good. The fact that he's still breathing is a good sign, even if he isn't conscious.
Behind me I hear a knock at the door.
"Come in," I call, knowing already that it's Accacia. I can tell by the way she raps on the wood; a quick insistent knock.
"How's he doing?" she asks, stepping into the room.
Accacia was the first missing clan daughter I met, and she is already becoming a good friend. She's brave, loyal, and she loves her men with every piece of her being.
"Still unconscious," I say, motioning her over from my spot next to him. It wasn't difficult to move him, being a descendant of Clan Lux, I have the same strength as everyone else. Combined with his falling weight and my growing magic, it was no difficulty getting him into the bed on my own.
She blows out a steady breath. "Jeez, Lissa, what did you do to him?"
"Only what he told me to," I respond, a little sharply.
"Sorry, that was a little insensitive," she says, perching on the bottom of the bed by his feet. "Is he still refusing to Entwine?"
"What do you think? He's like this because he won't. The spells aren't working." I sigh, pressing my fingers against my temples to soothe the headache that's beginning to form. "At this rate, I'll be the one to kill him, not save him."
"Oh, Lissa, I'm so sorry." Accacia reaches for my hand and squeezes. "Is there anything I can do?"
I look up at her, grateful for her company even if her offer is a fruitless one. No one has been able to persuade Nostra to Entwine with me. It's a lost cause, frankly.
"There's always the tie-backs," Accacia says, half-jokingly, as she eyes the thick gold rope holding the curtains open. She's referring to our conversation earlier in the day when I'd suggested tying him up and having my wicked way with him.
I smile a little at that.
"There, that's better," she says. Her gaze turns to Nostra, worry pulling at her features, making her frown. "Seriously though, he needs to wake up."
"I know. He hasn't stirred even a little since I cast the spell."
"Have you thought about giving him your blood?" Accacia asks.
"He's not of Clan Lux, my blood won't heal him…" my voice trails off as I realise that there is an alternative.
That alternative just entered the room.
"But yours might…" I say, thinking out loud.
"What do you mean?" she asks.
Sitting forward in my chair, hope seizing my chest, I explain my theory. "Earlier today, I explained that your magic is your ability to self-heal. You could do that before you were turned. Now we all know Clan Lux can heal each other with their blood. But what if your blood could heal someone outside of Clan Lux?"
Accacia mouth drops open. "You're not suggesting that I…"
"Yes," I say immediately, cutting her off. "You give Nostra your blood whilst I cast the spell once more. Perhaps that combination will work? What do we have to lose?"
"Bloody hell, Lissa. Giving blood is kind of sacred. I'm not sure how my men will take it?"
"Take what?"
We both look up to see Ezra, Rhain and Devin enter the room. Devin is glaring at me, and Rhain and Ezra look a little confused.
"Take what?" Devin repeats.
"Nostra hasn't woken up," Accacia says, drawing in a breath.
"We can see that," Ezra responds, a little gruffly.
"Lissa is suggesting I give him my blood. She thinks, combined with her spell, it might help him."
"Absolutely not!" Rhain says, immediately.
Devin makes a kind of growling noise, Ezra is the only one who seems to be considering it. He looks at Accacia, all sorts of emotions passing over his features. I understand what happened between them. That he'd given her his blood to heal her when they first met, binding them together, as is the custom of Clan Lux, but he had refused her blood for a long time, almost killing himself in the process. His pig-headedness, not unlike Nostra's own, almost destroying him. Eventually, after letting go of his past, and the memory of his wife and child that had haunted him for a thousand years, Ezra had taken Accacia's blood and now they are man and wife. Rhain and Devin are still her lovers too, together they make it work.
"It's too personal. Sharing of blood is sacred to our people. No, I'm sorry," Ezra says, eventually.
I purse my lips, anger bubbling in my chest at his response. Getting up out of my chair, I move around the bed to face him. My hand shakes as I point at Nostra's still form.
"He saved you all. Queen Adrielle would have killed each and every one of you, including Accacia if Nostra hadn't got you out of the castle and ripped a portal to here." My body is trembling so much that I'm having difficulty controlling the magic that seems to be building within me. "He sacrificed his magic to get you all out and now you refuse to help him in return? I could kill you," I scream, saying the words and regretting them the moment they leave my mouth. I'm not like Queen Adrielle. I'm not.
The three men flinch at my outburst, guilt evident on their faces.
Behind me Accacia stands. I hear the groan of the bed as she gets up.
"There'll be no need for that," she says, calmly.
I turn to face her, just as her incisors lower and she bites into her wrist. A dribble of blood releases from the small wounds as she speaks.
"Nostra isn't of Clan Lux, Ezra. If you hadn't already noticed, he's a witch, or was," she says, looking pointedly at her men.
"Red…" Devin starts, but she cuts him off with a glare.
"There's a big chance that giving Nostra my blood won't even heal him, but if it does, it doesn't mean the same thing as it does for us. Lissa is right, he could have left us all to face his sister alone, but he didn't. He could've said no to helping my mother get me out of Ever Vale as a baby, but he didn't. He spelled that stone, my ring, so you could all find me, so that we could become what we are now. Nostra deserves a chance to live and I'm going to help Lissa do that, whether you like it or not," she says, a determined look on her face. She turns to me and I couldn't love her more in that moment.
"What do you need me to do?" she asks, ignoring her men altogether now.
Swallowing down a grateful sob, I move back towards them both. "You just need
to give him your blood. I'll worry about the rest."
She nods. With Accacia's help we move Nostra lower on the bed so that I can spread a semi-circle of salt around us. Once we've done that I hand Accacia a vial for her blood. She raises her eyebrows at that.
"You don't need to give him your blood straight from your wrist. It's your blood that's important, not the contact," I say, by way of explanation. Behind me, I hear an audible sigh of relief from her men.
"Okay." She takes the vial from me, presses the lip against her bite mark and pumps her fist so the blood flows freely. She doesn't even flinch as it fills up to the top.
"Will that be enough?" she asks.
"I hope so."
"Is there anything else I should do?"
"No, you should stand outside the ring of salt. It should protect you all from the spell should it go wrong."
"What about you?" she asks.
"I'm willing to take the risk."
She nods her head, giving me a smile of encouragement, then goes to stand beside her men. I watch as they close around her, forming a protective wall. Rhain takes her arm and raises her wrist to his mouth, sliding his tongue over the puncture wounds. A low groan of pleasure releases from her lips as he draws a little on her blood. Behind them, Ezra and Devin's eyes light with desire.
"Not now," I hear her murmur. Rhain releases her wrist from his mouth and pulls her gently to his side as Ezra takes her free hand and Devin slides his arms around her waist from behind. Their love makes my heart ache in ways I can't explain, and not wishing for them to see just how much I'm affected by it, I turn my gaze away, drawing in a deep breath.
"You might want to make yourselves scarce. Just in case the salt circle doesn't hold," I say to them. They might all survive a wound from an awry spell given their ability to regenerate, but it would still hurt.
"We'll stay," Accacia responds.
"Then I suggest you stand back."
Gripping hold of Nostra's hand, I rest the lip of the vial against his lips, then begin to pour the blood into his parted mouth. The words of the incantation tumble from my mouth, as grey wisps of magic twirl around our clasped hands. Instinctively, I adjust the last lines of the incantation to reflect the fact Accacia has helped me this time. It seems right somehow.
Magic lost, magic found,
In the air, and all around.
Salted tears, hollow husks,
Starlit night and rising dusk.
Thumping pulse, flowing blood,
Bleeding sorrows and joyful love.
With our hearts and with our souls,
We share our magic, make him whole.
This time, to my utter relief, there is no blast of magic. There is nothing but the gentle flutter of Nostra's eyes as they open. I drop the vial as crimson blood blooms bright on Nostra's pale lips, the remaining drops splashing on the cream carpet below.
"Nostra?" I say, gently pushing back a strand of hair that's fallen across his forehead.
There's colour in his cheeks and life in his eyes, neither of which I've seen for days. It gives me hope that maybe this time the spell has worked, and he's regained some magic, if only enough to keep him alive.
"How are you feeling?" I ask softly.
His gaze never leaves mine as he smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes.
"Still without magic," he says, pulling his hand from beneath my own.
4 - The Third Spell
Another hour passes.
An hour of silence that sits heavy between us. Accacia and her Dark Knights have left us alone once more, understanding my need to be alone with Nostra. They need time together too, knowing what's to come. I can hear their lovemaking even though they're in another wing of the mansion. It's not always a bonus having such acute hearing.
"Nostra, how do you feel? Any changes?" I ask, despite knowing the spell hasn't worked.
He sits on the bed, his chest bare and his knees drawn up, looking into space. He hasn't spoken a word to me, has barely looked at me since I cast the last spell. Accacia's blood has healed the wound on his chest, and has given him a boost of energy, but we both know it's fleeting. Whilst her blood does indeed have healing properties for those outside of her clan, it can't heal the wound left behind from the magic that Nostra has sacrificed. A different kind of magic is needed for that, and we both know he won't agree to it.
"Nostra, please, will you just talk to me? I can't bear the silence," I say, hating the sound of my own voice. Hating that I feel so vulnerable.
Inside my emotions are tumultuous, I want to pummel my fists against him to make him listen, I want to fold him into my arms and comfort him. There's a feeling of restlessness zinging beneath my skin as I pace the room. This energy building between us is no longer a dull ache that can be ignored, it's electric and it needs to run its course before it burns me out entirely.
"Don't you feel that?" I ask him, standing still in the middle of the room, glaring at the side of his face. Still he refuses to look at me, to acknowledge me. I stride over to his side, blocking his view. "I asked you a question, Nostra." My hands are fisted, my anger and panic making me shake with pent up emotion.
He slides his gaze up slowly. Even him doing that, lights a fire beneath my skin. I can practically feel the touch of his hands even though they remain by his side. When his gaze finally meets mine, I am shocked by the look of desire. It's so white hot, so desperate, that I feel my heart skip a beat.
"Nostra…" I whimper.
For long moments he just stares, his rib cage lifting rapidly with every breath. He's fighting so hard not to touch me and it makes my heart ache. It makes the spot between my legs quiver with need. I need him to touch me. I need him to love me. I can't go on like this.
"We all might die this night. Queen Adrielle's demons will come, and they will wreak havoc. I've seen what her magic can do. I understand what's at stake, you know I do."
"Then you know how important it is that you survive," he says.
"You don't get it. I don't want to survive without you.Lights damn it, Nostra, don't you feel this?" I say, slamming my fist against my chest. The energy within me, the magic, responds. I feel it push up beneath my ribcage as though trying to find a way to be released.
His body begins to tremble as his fists clutch at the cover beneath his hands.
"I feel it, Lissa," he bites out. "It's taking everything I have to stay away from you. You should leave. NOW!"
"I won't!"
"GO!"
Leaping up from the bed, Nostra stands before me, and even though he's telling me to go, his body is begging for me to stay. He's so conflicted. The battle between heart and mind evident to see.
"I will not leave. If you die. I die too. I will take my own life," I say, meaning every word.
"Lissa, don't say that!" he warns.
"No. You listen to me, Nostra. I will not be without you. The prophecy talks of five missing clan daughters, not me. I am not the key to Queen Adrielle's demise. They need to survive, not I. If you're willing to sacrifice yourself for me, then I am willing to die to be with you."
Both of us are panting. I can feel the rawness of his love seeping from his skin as he fights with every single piece of himself.
"Don't ever say that, Lissa. You must live!"
"You've forced my hand. I can't live like this and I can't be without you. There's no alternative."
I lift my shaking hand to his chest. He flinches but doesn't move away so I rest it against the spot where the spell had injured him earlier. After a beat, my fingers begin to slide over the firm muscle of his pecs as I explore the heat that pours from him into me. Tears fill my eyes, my s
trength waning now. I drop my head, pressing it against his shoulder. His skin is millimetres from my lips and I want to press my mouth against him. I want to taste the salty smoothness.
"Lissa, stop this," he murmurs, all too aware of how close we are to losing control, to giving in to the raging need we have for each other.
How much more of this must I take?
"I can't do this anymore…" I whisper.
He grasps my wrists and yanks my hand away from his chest forcing me to look at him.
"This stops now," he says, a determined look on his face.
My shoulders drop, and I feel my energy drain as though sliding down a plug hole. My hand falls from his grasp. I feel bereft, empty, desolate.
"Why, Nostra?" I know why, of course I do. I've heard him tell me often enough, but I can't help but ask again.
"You have to survive," he says.
"I won't. I refuse." Tears fall freely now as I realise he will never Entwine with me. That I won't be able to save him. That he will leave me alone, just like my mother and father did. I'm always left behind.
"Enough, Lissa," he repeats, softer this time. He knows I'm giving up, he can feel it too. The air fills with sadness.
Mine, his, ours.
But I have one more thing I want to say. After that, Nostra will have his way and I won't try to convince him to change his mind. I look up at him, not caring I'm crying bitter tears, not caring that I might look weak or foolish. I crack open my heart, my soul, andbleed. Nostra watches me, a whole host of emotions rippling across his features.
"What, Lissa?" he asks softly. Still he refuses to touch me.
All I want is for him to touch me. I want to know what it feels like to be adored by someone. I want his touch so badly I'm willing to cut open my veins and bleed my lifeblood for it.
