Now that she did, every word and action took on new meaning, from the way he’d bounded out of the truck to jerk off by the side of the road to the way he was chopping wood with his back turned to her now. In a flash, it all made sense. He wasn’t cruel or aloof.
He was a lot like her.
“You didn’t want this either.” Her voice was breathy, barely above a whisper. She couldn’t bring herself to say the words any louder. Not that she had to. She knew he heard them clear enough when he stopped cold.
“I learned a long time ago, it doesn’t matter what I want,” he said with a voice as tight as the long muscles that stretched along his shoulders. “All that matters is what is.”
The resignation in his voice broke her heart. She found herself pushing away from the cabin and taking a step forward, toward him.
“Are you sure you want to do that?” he warned.
Paige froze. The truth was that she didn’t know. Everything inside her was conflicted, and had been since the moment she’d watched Craig shoot a man in cold blood. Only a few days ago, she’d been so certain of just about everything in her life, but now…?
Now she was beginning to believe that she’d never know certainty again.
She closed her eyes and took a breath. She searched her mind for what she knew for sure.
Deep down she knew that Kian was a decent man. He hadn’t hurt her. He’d kept her safe. Now she also knew that he was suffering. The same way she was suffering. Everything inside her wanted to help. Not because of some hormonal surge, but because this was who she was. Not just an omega, or a beta, or even a woman, but an empathetic human being. Someone who couldn’t stand to walk away from a person in pain.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” she said.
Her steps were deliberate as she walked along the raised porch toward the stairs. Her knees shook as she descended, but she kept going, stopping just short of the wood pile at his side. Paige didn’t need any heightened senses to notice how hard the muscles in his back had tensed. The urge to reach out and soothe his tension away with her touch was painfully strong, but she resisted.
“Kian, I’m sorry,” she said.
“You don’t have to—”
“Yes, I do,” she dared cutting him off. “I’ve been incredibly self-centered from the moment we met. I’ve been so focused on how all of this affects me that I haven’t thought about what you might be feeling. That was wrong of me, and I apologize.”
For a moment, a heavy silence filled the air between them. Long enough for a gust of wind to dance through the pine needles and for the jay above her head to finish its song. Kian stayed so still throughout that Paige finally raised her hand to clasp his shoulder.
He spun around before she could, and suddenly she was grateful that she hadn’t touched him. She had thought it was overwhelming to gaze on his bare back, but that view was nothing compared to his naked chest. It was so big, so powerful, so perfect, that Paige found it hard to suck in a breath at the sight. A fine mist of sweat clung to his muscles. Wood dust and earth streaked the contours of his shoulders and neck. Her belly tightened at the thought of reaching up and brushing away some of the dirt. Of caressing a warm, wet cloth over his body and washing him clean.
How far would she get before the urge to take him inside her became overwhelming? How long could she touch his skin before she needed it? Before she absolutely had to have him?
“You didn’t have to come down here to tell me that.” The intensity in his voice broke Paige out of her carnal haze. She looked up at his face and found the same fervor burning in his eyes.
“No,” she admitted…but she’d wanted to. She’d wanted to be closer to him. To the comfort of his strength and vitality. “I needed you to look in my eyes and know that I’m telling the truth.”
His gaze narrowed slightly. “Does it matter?”
“Of course,” Paige said. “I know that we don’t have much control over what’s happening to us physiologically, but we still have our souls. And there’s no way my conscience would let me fall asleep at night knowing that I’d hurt you.”
“We have our souls?” He cocked a single brow. “I thought I was just a wild beast who only lived for violence and self-satisfaction.”
Burning shame lit up her face. “I’m so sorry I said that, Kian.”
“Don’t be.” He leaned down and filled his arms with heavy firewood. “You weren’t wrong.”
Paige shook her head as he started toward the house.
“Yes, I was, and if I hadn’t been drowning in fear I would have realized it earlier,” she said as she scurried after him. “You saved me from Craig.”
“I would have ripped the beating heart out of his chest if I’d had the chance.” He didn’t bother turning around. He just kept striding toward the door.
“You’ve fed me and sheltered me,” she tried.
He gave an unconvinced grunt. “Can’t breed with you if you’re dead, can I?”
Paige winced at the reminder of her harsh words. She was careful to stay a good three steps behind as he opened the front door and carefully piled the cut logs next to the stone hearth.
She softened her voice. “You haven’t touched me.”
“That’s because you’re right,” he said after a long pause. “I don’t want any of this either.”
Paige didn’t need any of Kian’s heightened senses to know that he was lying. She could hear it in his voice, see it in the wave of tension that travelled down the muscles of his back. It was obvious lying wasn’t a skill he’d ever had to hone.
The only thing she couldn’t figure out was why. Time and again, Kian had proved that he had no trouble with brutal honesty. Maybe it was time for her to try the same tactic.
“No,” she said as firmly as she could manage. He craned his head over his shoulder. The barely restrained heat in his gaze nearly melted her there on the spot. “You might be pissed at fate and biology, but you still want this.”
To prove her point, she slid her hand down her side—past her cheek, around the curve of her breast, over the swell of her hips. Kian watched with a fever in his eyes that made her knees go weak.
Craig had never looked at her that way. None of the men she dated had. It wasn’t a gaze a beta could give, she realized.
It was a feral gaze.
An alpha gaze.
It captured and held her. Heat—fast and wet—surged between her legs. The low rumble that echoed in his chest only made the situation worse.
He dusted his palm off on his jeans as he rose to face her. Paige’s gaze broke from his and followed the motion. Her eyes caught on the front of his jeans. A gasp slipped from her throat. The outline of his erection pressed against the thick denim, its outline stark and clear. Just like the rest of him, it was huge, so much bigger than she’d ever seen. So powerful. So ready. Paige bit into her lip at the sight.
“I’m not the only one who wants something,” he taunted.
With deliberate slowness, he raised his fingers to the fly of his pants.
Oh, God.
Paige stumbled back a few steps, but couldn’t manage to pull her gaze away.
Kian just shook his head. “Oh no,” he growled. “It’s too late to shrink back to your corner now. This is what happens when you tease a beast.”
“I wasn’t trying to—”
He pulled down the zipper of his pants of his pants. Her mouth went dry as his hard cock was let free. Suddenly, she had no words. No language at all.
“You weren’t?” he asked mockingly before spitting into his palm. He cupped his hand around the base of the shaft, and slowly pulled up. “You sought me out even though you knew I could sense you. Could smell the scent of the slick pooling between your legs. Hear your quickening breaths.”
Paige shook her head, but didn’t turn away. She couldn’t. She could barely even blink.
“I—I just wanted to see you,” Paige tried. She knew it was a shit explanation, but it was also the truth. She hadn’t eve
n thought about it.
“So, see me.” His voice rumbled through the room, wrapping around her heavy and warm. “Look at me. Watch what you do to me.”
As if she could turn away. Her legs might feel like they were made of lead, but her blood was pure molten fire. With every stroke of his hand, she grew hotter. Her rational mind was in danger of being consumed by the flames.
Paige wrapped her arms around her middle and pressed her knees together tight. A bolt of fear ripped through her when she realized her thighs were wet, the legs of her pants soaked through.
When had that happened? Before or after he’d revealed himself? She had no idea.
All Paige knew was that the need building in her belly was growing stronger every second. She didn’t know how much longer she could fight it. Even now, the pull inside her to touch him, feel him, taste him, envelope him inside her body bordered on painful.
She lifted her gaze to Kian’s face. The look he was giving her did nothing to cool down. His eyes radiated pure hunger. Animal need.
And yet he was holding back. Just like she was.
She didn’t know why, but she was grateful. She had a feeling that if he made the slightest move toward her, the last of her thin defenses would fall and she would do every last thing he’d warned her about last night.
Beg him to take her. Plead with him to fill her like she’d never felt before. Claim her as his own.
The desire was just so damn strong.
Paige clung tight to the last strand of free will that ran through her body, and forced herself to just watch.
Watch Kian as his pace increased. As he bared his teeth. As his muscles bunched and strained in response to the pleasure rushing through him.
The breath caught in Paige’s throat as his head fell back and a thunderous sound reverberated through the room. Strokes turned to harsh jerks as thick streams of come flew from his cock and landed on the floorboards.
She was left still struggling to fill her lungs with air even as Kian lifted his head and zipped his pants. Surprisingly, the hungry look in his eyes hadn’t gone anywhere, making it clear that though he was spent, he was far from sated.
And neither was she. Far from it. Keen desire, sharp as nails, clawed at her from the inside. She closed her eyes and tried to tame the sensation, but it refused to obey.
And it wouldn’t she realized. Not until it had what it wanted.
Not until it had Kian.
He must have sensed her unsatisfied lust, because he let out a low growl. Paige opened her eyes to see him striding toward the door.
Away from her.
A small sound of longing escaped her throat at the realization.
“It’s going to be a cold night,” he said, pausing just inside the open door. His voice was as tight as the rest of him. “If you want a fire to keep you warm, I need to finish my chores. Do us both a favor this time and stay inside this time.”
Chapter Seven
Kian slammed the axe blade down on the log balanced in front of him with far more force than necessary. Shards of bark and wood pulp sprayed out as the firewood split in two. The cut was ragged and imprecise, not up to his usual standards.
Shit, he was lucky that he was able to swing the blade with any kind of accuracy. His mind was far from focused…not on chopping wood anyway.
He’d been out here too long. Hiding…just like he’d accused her of doing. He was keenly aware of his hypocrisy, but he didn’t see any way around it. The only other option was to go back into his home and submit to the inevitable, and, just like her, he wasn’t ready to do that yet.
Paige had only been half right. It wasn’t so much that he didn’t want to claim her as his omega; it was that he’d never imagined he’d be in the position to do so.
Omegas were few and far between. Beta society had seen to that. They’d created a culture of lies surrounding the alpha and omega dynamic. The fear Paige felt toward what she was becoming wasn’t some side effect of that system. It was the whole point.
Sure, there was a small handful of omegas in the Pacific Boundarylands—all of them claimed, of course. He’d heard stories of other claimed pairs in faraway places as well. But they were rare.
So rare that Kian never dreamed that he would ever come face to face with an unclaimed one. That she would ever touch him and feel the draw. That his touch would change her and begin her heat.
Sure, there were a few women who came to Boundarylands. But so far all the ones he knew had maintained their beta nature. They came for different reasons. Some were desperate to know if they were special. Most just looking for the thrill of taking the beast in bed. A few made their livings trading their company for cash.
Kian understood all those motivations, and he didn’t judge a single one, but sex with them was never truly fulfilling, and the relief they offered was only temporary. There was no connection. His never knot swelled. Their bodies never locked together. They was no chance of a claiming bite.
Dealing with that frustration could drive an alpha mad. So, he did the only thing he could, and accepted the fact that he’d always be alone. He’d live alone. He’d work alone. He’d grow old and die alone.
But then Paige had come along and touched him.
Kian glanced down at the massive pile of cut logs neatly piled by the side of his home. He already had enough stockpiled to see him through the next month and a half. It wasn’t like he needed more.
But he did need something to keep his mind off Paige and the roiling of cauldron of desire she kept simmering inside him.
Not that it was working.
Nothing was. Not masturbation. Not physical exertion. And sure as hell not chopping wood.
Kian knew nothing would—nothing except the sensation of his knot swelling inside her body. Everything else was just wasting time.
He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. The axe dangled from his hand as he drew in a deep breath. The scent of the forest flooded his senses—the moss, the pine, the muddy earth along the creek bed.
And her.
His omega.
Even out here in the fresh air, traces of her scent still lingered in the air. He could pick out the fragrance of her skin, her breath, her slick.
Oh dear God, her slick.
Kian raked his fingers through his hair. She had no idea what that scent did to him, did she? No concept of how hard he struggled against the primal urge to claim her, body and soul, every time he smelled it. How could she?
It was crystal clear that the naive, little creature didn’t fully understand the forces thrusting them together. She didn’t realize why she’d felt pulled to find him. To watch his body work. Somehow, she still believed that she could control her desires.
She couldn’t.
Soon neither one of them could.
But he’d be lying if he said that simple biology was the only force driving her. Lust hadn’t made her realize that he was struggling. It hadn’t made her apologize or empathize with his painful restraint.
Hell, she’d still been trying to soothe away his torment even as the slick had started running down her legs. She’d been so wrapped up in the idea of bridging the emotional gap between them that she hadn’t even noticed how primed and ready her body was. Not until it was too late. Not until she was caressing her curves in front of him, practically begging for his touch.
Even the memory made him hard.
Kian kept his eyes closed and his breath deep until his erection subsided. It took a long time. Long enough for him to stand and wonder why Paige cared about his good opinion.
No one ever had before. Well, no one beside his blood family and his alpha brothers.
To everyone else he was just an impulsive animal, bloodthirsty and lust-driven.
There’s no way my conscience would let me fall asleep at night knowing that I’d hurt you.
Paige’s words rang in his head. Not just because he was unused to someone caring about how he felt, but because she had been right. Her
words had cut deeper than he wanted to admit.
The passion that was building between them was purely physical. It was biology. Chemistry. It had nothing to do with him or Paige. As far as nature was concerned, they were nothing more than a pair of compatible hormone machines.
And for the first time Kian had to admit that wasn’t enough for him. He didn’t just want Paige to need him, to crave his knot and the pleasure it would bring. He wanted her to see him as a man. As real as any she’d known before.
Not just as real, but better. More capable. More passionate. More everything.
The sound of footsteps from inside the house broke him out of the haze of his thoughts. Paige was moving around. Her steps were light and tentative, but he could hear them clear as thunder. He tried to block out the sound by chopping a few more logs, but it was no use. Just like he’d told her—there was no way to hide from what was happening between them.
He gave the axe one last, hard swing and buried the blade deep inside the tree stump he used as a chopping block.
Maybe it was time to stop trying.
Kian’s shirt didn’t fit.
She shouldn’t have been surprised. The alpha was huge, after all, but it was hard not to be in awe of just how massive the piece clothing actually was. The hem hung down to her knees. The collar barely stayed on her shoulders. His simple T-shirt was as long as any dress.
Paige spent another minute rummaging around his closet for something to use as a belt. There wasn’t much to choose from, just a few shirts, some pants, a handful of socks. In the end she settled for a scarf that was tucked up on a high shelf. Even that she had to wrap around her waist twice so she wouldn’t trip over it.
Stepping back, she looked at herself in the mirror.
Well, she wouldn’t be walking down any Parisian runways in the outfit—honestly, it was more sack than dress—but at least it covered all the important bits.
And it wasn’t soaked in slick.
That last one was the really important part. After Paige had calmed down enough to pull herself off the floor, she’d realized that she’d ruined her jeans. The denim was soaked all the way through.
Kian: The Boundarylands Omegaverse: M/F Alpha Omega Romance Page 6
