by Unknown
9
A rriving to a bare door was depressing. Abbie looked both ways hoping to spot her wreath, but it was a pretty dreary sight. Everyone took their wreaths down and would probably wait until the morning of the festivities to put them back up. She considered rushing to the craft store to get the stuff to make another one, but decided to wait. If hers wasn't found by Friday, she'd get the stuff and make a new one, although it wouldn’t be as pretty. Either way, she’d have one up on Saturday morning. Everyone knew all proper households in the south had decorative wreaths on doors and a seasonal flag hanging from the mailbox.
With a supermarket salad, carbonated water and a fork, she sat on the couch and looked out the front window. She pulled her laptop closer, next to her salad on the coffee table and prepared for an evening of social media and television.
At the sound of noise at her back door she froze. Was the random thief back? Her heart began to thump and she slipped off the couch and got on all fours on the floor. She grabbed a big flashlight from the side table and crawled closer hoping to get a sneak peak. Inching to the windowpanes next to the door, she peeked out. There on her back porch was a cage.
With two parakeets.
"What the hell?" She jumped to her feet and craned her neck to look around the back. There was no one there. Just as she wrapped her hand around doorknob, knocks sounded at the front door and she screamed.
Jimmy barreled through the door. "What's going on?" His gaze went from her face to the huge flashlight in her hand. "Are you planning to hit someone with that?"
"I could have hit you, you scared the bejeebbers out of me." She let out a breath, left hand splayed on her chest. It was good to have Jimmy there. If not for being freaked out, she would have thrown herself at him.
"I heard a noise and crawled to the back door. I picked up the flashlight in case someone was breaking in."
"Why didn't you grab your cell phone and car keys there," he motioned to the objects on her counter, "and run out the front door and call me?"
It made too much sense. She stared at the items he’d just pointed out and then to the front door. It would have been much closer to do as he suggested, but she'd be damned before admitting it. "Because I was back here and if someone broke in, they would have caught me before I made it to the counter."
Jimmy eyed her salad and laptop. "Uh-huh."
"Aren't you going to investigate?"
"Sure," He walked toward her and she held her hands out. "It's the birds. The random thief was here.”
“We need to rush out the front door and see if we catch up."
Jimmy walked out the back door and around her deck. He looked at the birds and then stepped down and walked around the deck. He hurried around the side of the house while Abbie went back through the house out the front door and waited for him by her car.
He walked out to the sidewalk and looked both ways, then silently walked down the sidewalk to the corner. He stood there for a long time hands on his hips deep in thought. Then he pulled out his cell phone and made a call. When Abbie started toward him, he held his hand out to stop her.
She went back to the car in front of her house and wondered what to do, the birds were on the back deck, the cop was on the corner and her salad was getting wilted.
Just then a car came around the corner and slowed. Mr. and Mrs. Polanski parked across the street. "Oh great," Abbie muttered. "How did they know the birds were there? Did they have some sort of bird global positioning system?"
"We got an anonymous call that you have Polly and Pete," Mrs. Polanski rushed toward her. "Shame on you."
"They just showed up!" Abbie exclaimed looking toward where Jimmy still talked on the phone. "Jimmy's investigating right now." Either that or calling another woman and it was why he didn't want her to overhear.
Mr. Polanski turned to the corner. "Jimmy I'm taking my birds and you can't stop me."
Jimmy waved his hand.
"What the hell is with the wave?" Mrs. Polanski asked.
"I don't know." It looked like a parade float wave to Abbie.
The Polanski's moved toward her house and she walked along with them. "You might contaminate the scene. Maybe we should wait in case Jimmy needs to do fingerprints."
Mrs. Polanski stopped in her tracks and her husband ran into her back. Abbie's eyes widened at the woman's furious glare. "Our Polly and Pete were the most valuable item stolen. I don't give a rat's ass if anyone else gets their shit back." Spittle flew from her mouth and both Abbie and Mr. Polanski leaned away.
"Hey where are you going?" Jimmy, the phone operator finally caught up with them. "I need to fingerprint the birdcage. Give me a minute."
Abbie and Mr. Polanski looked to his wife. She let out a huff. "Fine. But hurry it up."
Southern hospitality took over. Abbie invited the Polanski's in for a glass of sweet tea, while Jimmy went to his truck. She assumed to get a crime kit or something. The older couple walked inside and Mr. Polanski turned in a full circle. "No recliner?"
"No I'm sorry," Abbie replied through clenched teeth.
Mrs. Polanski glowered at her husband who tested one of her chairs. "We're not here to visit Henry. Don't get too comfortable." She accepted the glass of tea and peered down the hallway toward her bedroom. "I don't suppose you have any rockers do you?"
It was impossible to stop the eye roll. "I am not the random thief Mrs. Polanski. I didn't take the birds. Isn't it obvious someone is trying to frame me?"
"I hear you are a peeping Tom. You looked through the window while the new young vet was undressing."
"What?" Abbie considered grabbing the glass out of her hand. "Becka and I already explained we were looking at his yard. He was fully dressed."
"Well that's not what Fay says."
It figured Fast Fay would try to start rumors about her. The woman was probably angry that she was dating Jimmy. Then again, was Jimmy being monogamous? They'd not discussed that part of the relationship.
Ignoring the fact Mr. Polanski was eating her salad, Abbie went to the back door and opened it. "Jimmy how long is this going to take?"
"Don't touch the doorknob."
"Fay Blythe is starting rumors about me. Any idea why she would have a beef with me?"
"How the heck should I know?" He continued what he was doing seeming to forget she stood in the doorway.
"Are you and her seeing each other?"
His eyes flashed to her, eyebrows drawn. "I'm seeing you."
Mrs. Polanski came up behind her. "Don't distract him. We need to get home, Jeopardy will be starting in fifteen minutes."
"We can watch it here if she's got kettle corn," Mr. Polanski called out. "I really like this chair."
"Hurry up!" Abbie said already heading back inside to call Becka. At the moment she needed all the support she could get. The random thief was setting her up, her boyfriend was clueless and old people were talking about hanging out. Not to mention Fay spreading peeping Tom rumors.
Becka answered in a low voice. "Are you all right?" she whispered.
"Yeah...no. I'm under attack." Abbie whispered back. "I think the Polanski's might be staying here for an hour to watch Jeopardy."
"Oh." Becka was quiet for a beat. "I can't talk. Frank Walker is over here. Someone left the rocker on my back porch."
"I've got the parakeets on mine," Abbie replied. "Call me later." She hung up just as Jimmy walked back inside. He went to the Polanski's. "You can take your birds home now."
The old people looked at the clock. It was six.
BY THE TIME Jeopardy was over, Abbie was a fan. She'd guessed more things right than both the Polanski's. Jimmy had gone home, he had an early day he'd claimed. She suspected the idea of watching a game show with her was too close to married life. And she didn't blame him for leaving, it would have been a bit too homey for her too.
The Polanski's trudged to their car with birds and still not quite believing she didn't take the birds. Although Mr. Polanski told her, he sus
pected it was Mrs. Grundy who took the birds since she'd been spotted at their house several times, cutting some of Mrs. Polanski's roses.
After showering, she settled into bed with a book and instant oatmeal. It had been a strange day indeed and still no closer to finding out who the random thief was. Whisper festival was a few days away and the town was in the middle of a crazy assault on its citizens.
She straightened with an idea and eyed the phone. Becka had not called back. It seemed the random thief was trying to set up Becka too. Maybe her things would be left at someone's house and she'd have them back by Friday. It was time to take action. They would set up the random thief. A smile curved her lips and she sat back.
Yes it was time to take intelligent action.
"ARE YOU SURE THIS WILL WORK?" Becka stood next to Abbie in front of the teashop. "I hate for someone to take any of this?"
They'd set up a beautiful "Welcome to Whisper" display with a huge wreath, elaborate centerpieces on the two outside tables, along with tablecloths and ribbons tied to the back of chairs. At the front door, Abbie had placed a new doormat and next to the door two new topiaries she'd grabbed from a local gift shop.
She stepped back. Although spontaneous, she had to admit it looked adorable. "It will work. The random thief won't be able to resist. She'll come, I believe it's a woman, a guy wouldn't steal a wreath." Abbie clapped her hands in glee. "She's got it out for us, so she'll definitely strike again."
"I can't believe they dropped off a rocker at my house and no one saw it," Becka exclaimed. "I have stupid neighbors."
"You have no neighbors," Abbie told her. Becka and Gary lived outside of town in a ranch house in the middle of several acres of land.
They went into the teashop and prepared for the day. They'd spend the night and wait to catch the thief.
THAT AFTERNOON ABBIE drove home to collect sleeping bags and her camera. Nothing was amiss at her house. She checked both entrances and then hurried to put the things into her car.
On the way back to the teashop, she drove through Clucky's and grabbed a family bucket. It would be lunch and dinner. Then she drove back to the center of town. Out of the corner of her eye she caught action at the mayor's house and slowed down.
Next to a crooked "For Sale" sign, Belinda stood in the middle of the front yard amongst clothes and other miscellaneous items. It looked like a grenade exploded in the middle of a yard sale. When Abbie pulled over across the street, the mayor's wife waved and walked over.
"Hey Abbie. Seen that son of a bitch today?" She attempted to rake her fingers through tangled hair and gave up. "I caught him red handed with that slut Cissie bitch. I bet the random thief didn't take our lamp. It's over at her house."
"You did?" Abbie eyed the front yard. "How'd you catch him?"
"I followed him."
“Oh. Having a yard sale?"
"Yep everything is a dollar."
Although she felt bad for Clark, Abbie suspected he'd already taken the items he really wanted over to Cissie's. "People are going to be talking," she stated the obvious as another car slowed down and two women began picking through the things.
"I know, hopefully Clark will get impeached. Everything's a dollar ladies!" Belinda screamed across the street.
"I better get back to the shop. Hope you have a great sale," Abbie told Belinda who waved her off and headed back to her yard. Two cars pulled over and then Jimmy's squad car pulled up behind Abbie's.
He got out looked across the street and walked over to hers. "How'd the game show night end?"
Abbie rolled her eyes. "You could've stayed."
"What's up with the explosion?" He avoided answering her and she wanted to giggle.
"Belinda caught Clark over at Cissie's yesterday."
"Ah." He scanned the street and she had to admit, the boy looked good in uniform. How had she resisted going out with him for so long? Oh that's right he was married, then he was dating Fast Fay.
"When's the last time you went out with Fay?"
His eyes moved to her, flat and expressionless. "It's in the past, let's leave it there."
"She hates me."
He shrugged. "She's always been jealous of you. You're prettier and more successful and now you have the best catch in town." He winked at her. "Gotta go." He went across the street.
Abbie watched as he spoke to Belinda. After a few minutes, she seemed to relent to whatever he said. She recruited the shoppers and they shoved everything into bags. The shoppers left with whatever they'd bought and Belinda went inside leaving the bags next to the garage.
"Impressive," Abbie told Jimmy when he came back. "I'd never peg you for a peacekeeper."
"You think that's impressive, how about I come over tonight and show you something that's very much more?"
Breath left her and she bit her bottom lip. "I can't. I'm sleeping at Becka's. We're doing a thing."
"A thing?" He narrowed his eyes. "You're not doing something stupid are you?"
"Nope," she replied avoiding his eyes. "I better scoot. Left Becka alone too long."
He leaned over and kissed her until her eyes crossed. "Okay. Rain check."
"Tomorrow night?" she said tugging his shirt so he couldn't move away.
"Can't, I'm playing poker with the guys."'
"Damn." She pulled him back for another kiss and nipped his bottom lip.
"I can play cards next week." He pushed away. "Behave."
"Always," she quipped and pulled off.
"THIS IS TOO COOL." Becka stared at the laptop screen. "How did you learn to do this?" They watched the front of the shop from the office. Since there was little floor space, they'd zipped the sleeping bags together and moved the small desk against the wall. They lay on their bellies, the laptop on the floor in front of them.
She had to admit, rigging the camera to film outside was a stroke of genius with the help of YouTube. "You can do anything if you look for a how-to on YouTube."
At movement, they both froze. Fugly came into view. He sniffed at the topiaries and then lifted his leg and pee'd on one.
"That little shit," Abbie said contemplating what to do about him.
The dog moved to the front door and began to bark.
"He's going to give us away!" Becka shouted and the dog barked louder, jumping with each yip.
Abbie rushed to the door, unlocked it, grabbed the dog and rushed back inside. Fugly licked their faces gleeful to be inside. He sniffed the bags and settled between them.
"Hopefully nobody saw you," Becka said looking from the dog to her. "He may have spoiled all our efforts."
An hour later Becka was snoring and Abbie could barely keep her eyes open. Fugly was on his back, four feet in the air fast asleep, his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth.
He stirred, flipped over and growled. It was then she saw movement outside. Abbie poked Becka. "Someone's here," she hissed.
Becka mumbled in her sleep and snuggled deeper into her bag.
"Augh," Abbie said and poked her again. "Wake up."
“I'm horny honey,” Becka said then gasped realizing where she was. “Never mind.”
Both stared at the screen as a person came into view. The person stood for a long moment as if studying the display. With fast and precise moments, grabbed the centerpieces and tablecloths and placed them into a large bag. Then as if a second thought, took the ribbons from the chairs as well.
"Holy shit," Abbie and Becka said in unison.
"I'll be damned," Abbie let out a breath. "Who would have guessed?"
10
"W here the heck is Jimmy?" Abbie pulled scones out of the oven and then poured hot water into a tea infuser to make a pot of lavender Earl Grey. Unlike most Thursday mornings, the shop was bustling. Several people exclaimed at how pretty the outside looked and each time it grated her nerves. It would be prettier if not for the damned random thief.
Julie Milton entered and hurried to the counter. "Emergency committee meeting, can you come?"
"Of course," Abbie followed her out the door and before long was settled at the library conference room. Mrs. Polanski, the Smiths, and Clark, who looked as if he'd not slept in days, joined them.
"We have a problem,” Clark stated without preamble. The sound system is missing and someone took my golf set."
Abbie's eyes rounded, obviously Clark wasn't aware of the yard sale. She wasn't about to be the one to tell him. "Can't we just use the karaoke system from El Amigo. It's loud as all get out."
"That's a good idea," Julie said and looked to the door. "Where's Cissie?"
"She's held up," Clark answered quickly. "Err. At least that's what I assume."
"Lets not pretend," Mrs. Polanski's gravely voice was sharp. "You and her have a thing. Belinda sold your golf shit for a dollar and you," she looked to Abbie, "are a pervert."
Of course everyone ignored Clark and looked to her including Jimmy and Cissie who'd just walked through the door.
"I am not a pervert," Abbie snapped and crossed her arms. "Why is me looking through Dr. Porter's window worse than Clark and Cissie having an affair?" Saying it out loud make Mrs. Polanski's point. It sounded creepier. "Besides, Becka was with me, " she finished weakly.
Julie Milton came to her rescue. "I think we need to stick to the reason for the meeting. We'll have to wait until Thursday night to put all the decorations up and then set up security to watch it overnight. Also, we'll have to take from next year's advertising fund and pay for security patrols."
"Manuel and Salvador Ortega have agreed to do it," Clark added referring to brothers who'd retired from Lucha Libre Mexican wrestling and moved to Whisper. "They'll deter any thief just by walking around wearing their masks."
Abbie looked to Jimmy, why had he not come to her shop that morning after she'd called him and why did he walk in with Cissie? "I have a feeling the random thief will be caught soon."
After calling the brothers on speakerphone and attempting to understand what they said in the heavily accented English, they hired them for security. Then everyone decided it was best to go to Wal-Mart and buy a speaker system instead of borrowing the one from El Amigo since the owner would probably insist on singing at the festival and mariachi music didn't exactly go with the theme of the gentle south.
