by Lucinda John
“It’s supposed to be my at home office, but I never finished it. I’m just storing things in there for now.”
When the cleaning company was done cleaning out the house I shared with Chad, I was left with all of his things. It didn’t feel right throwing everything away. After donating his clothes to the local charities, I kept his personal items and stored them in my garage.
Steven applied the blue tape around the wall while I mixed the paint. Satisfied with the colors I sat on the floor and instructed Steven on how I wanted the wall to be painted. When he was done with the painting, we sat and ate lunch while allowing the walls to dry up.
When the walls were done drying, I pulled out some stencils and we decorated the walls in brown circles.
“This is coming together really nice,” I said admiring our handy work.
“Yes you picked the right profession.”
“Thank you.”
When we finally finished up, the walls it was almost midnight. I asked Steven if he wanted to stop and go home, but he insisted that we finished up the nursery. He put all the baby’s furniture together and arranged them the way I wanted him to. I hung the pink and brown curtains and placed the brown teddy bears on the handmade shelf that I decorated.
“You know you can rest up here before heading home,” I said since it was now almost three in the morning.
“You sure?”
“Yes. I wouldn’t want you to fall asleep behind the wheel.”
“Well, if it’s ok with you then, it’s fine with me. Do you mind if I take a shower to wash off some of this paint.”
“Sure, go ahead.”
“Ok, let me just go grab my gym bag out of my trunk. I should have a fresh pair of clothing in there.”
While Steven was in the guest bathroom showering up, I went in CJ’s playroom and began cleaning up. This boy owned more toys than Toys R Us sold. As I was picking up his block, I was hit with a powerful contraction that almost knocked me to the floor.
“Oooooooooooo!!!!!!!” I yelled out in pain when I was hit with another one minutes later.
I was only thirty weeks pregnant so for me to be having contraction this early scared me. I never thought of the possibility of having a premature baby. Walking out of the room, I was hit with another contraction that caused me to double over in pain.
“Cinnamon, are you ok?” Steven asked.
“No. I think I’m in labor,” I managed to say through clenched teeth.
“Let’s get you to the hospital then,” He replied, and then picked me up and carried me to the car.
Steven made sure that the seatbelt was safely secured around me before jumping in the driver’s seat and hitting eighty miles per hour. When we made it to the ER, I was hit with another contraction that made my legs weak. Steven ran out of the car and went to get help. A nurse ran to the car with a wheelchair in her hand followed by a doctor.
They helped me in the wheelchair and was about to wheel me to labor and delivery until I felt the urge to push.
“Oh, God, she’s coming,” I yelled out.
“Hold on, Cinnamon, we’re almost there,” the nurse said as we waited for the elevator.
“I can’t wait I have to push. She’s right there, I can feel her,” I cried out.
“Ok, let me take a look. Open up your legs wide,” she said squatting in front of me. “Yeah, you’re right she’s crowning.”
“Ok, Cinnamon, on your next contraction I want you to give me one big push ok?”
The next contraction knocked the wind out of me. I wanted to lay down and cry, but I could hear Chad’s voice in my head telling me to push. I mustered up all of my strength and gave one big push.
“Good girl. I see a head filled with curly hair. One more push, Cinnamon.”
I bit down on my bottom lip and pushed as hard as I could. I didn’t stop pushing until I heard my baby girl’s weak cries. I knew her lungs weren’t fully developed because she was a preemie and that worried me.
“It’s a girl,” the doctor yelled out. “We have to get her to NICU quick,” she said allowing me to take a glance at her before rushing her to baby ICU.
I was very exhausted as the nurse wheeled me into my room. She cleaned me up then checked my vitals. After she told me everything was good, she hooked me up to an IV and left the room.
“You did a good job, Cinnamon, she’s beautiful.”
“Thank you,” I said giving him a weak smile. “I hope she’s ok.”
“Her mother is a fighter, so I know she has it in her blood,” he said kissing me on the lips.
At first, I was shocked by the gesture, but when he kissed me again, I opened my mouth and welcomed his tongue. We shared a long, passionate kiss that scared me. I felt something that only Chad had the ability to make me feel. He was about to say something, but then the doctor walked in.
“Congratulation on the baby, Mrs. Green, I am sorry I missed the deliver,” my doctor said.
“Is she ok?” I asked.
“She is fine. We have her on a breathing machine and she’s feeding through a tube, but she is one strong little trooper. She’ll be good in no time.”
“When can I see her?”
“I’m going to examine you first then, I’ll have a nurse wheel you over there.”
The doctor laid me back on the bed and checked me. My vagina was all bloody and exposed and at this point, I really didn’t care. If he wanted to see this pussy at it’s best then, he had to deal with it at it’s worst.
When the doctor was done examining me, the nurse came in and wheeled us over to NICU. We had to scrub our hands and wear suits over our clothes and shoes. Looking at my baby girl brought tears of joy to my eyes. She was so tiny, with so many cords attached to her body, but she was beautiful and that was all that mattered.
I closed my eyes and thanked God and Chad for blessing me with my little princess. Julie Ann Green, my little munchkin; she was perfect. I couldn’t wait until I was able to bring her home and spoil her rotten.
Chapter 28
Rob
Looking into baby Julie’s eyes filled me up with so much joy. She looked so much like Chad that it was scary. I just knew growing up she was going to be a problem, so I had every intention on starting my gun collection now.
If my nigga Chad could see her right now, I know he would be proud. He always wanted a little boy and a girl and he finally got his wish. The only problem was he wasn’t here to see it. Looking into baby Julie’s pretty eyes knowing that she was going to have to grow up without a father made me want to reevaluate my life choices. There was no way I was getting out the game, but I had to take better care of myself if I wanted to live long enough to witness the birth of my child.
Carter walked in the room with Brandy bearing gifts for the baby. I had no type of love for this nigga and after tonight, I was going to cut his ass off. He was Chad’s friend not mine, and I had no use for him, so his ass was getting chopped.
Tonight was the night we moved on them Jamaican niggas. They thought shit was sweet because we took our time retaliating, but they were in for a rude awakening. I really didn’t want to go to war and if it was up to me, I would have taken the loss, but if I did that, then motherfuckers would of taken that as a sign of weakness. The last thing I needed was for niggas to think it was ok to run up on me and fuck with my money.
“Isn’t she cute?” Honey said taking a seat next to me.
“Yeah, that little girl is beautiful.”
“You think our child gon’ come out cute?” she asked.
“Of course, do you see how fine the daddy is,” I joked wrapping my arm around her.
Honey had no idea what I was about to go do. If she did, she would have thrown a fit. She probably would have tried to tie my ass down to the bed just so I wouldn’t leave the house. That was why I chose to keep her in the dark. She didn’t fully understand the code of the streets; she had no idea how important it was for
me to make a name for myself.
“Babe, I gotta go pick up some money, I’ll meet you back home,” I lied as I kissed her on the neck.
“How long do you think it’ll be?”
“Not long, I’ll be home in time to rub your feet and watch Scandal with you.”
“Ok. Make sure you check in.”
“I gotchu,” I replied getting up. “You riding?” I asked Carter.
“Nah, I’m good. I’ll be at the spot tho,” he said causing my antennas to go up.
“Iight,” I replied and then walked out of the hospital.
I sent Derico a text telling him to have someone follow Carter. He was on some shady sneaky type shit and I wanted to know what. I had a bullet with his name engraved in it and I didn’t mind giving it to his ass.
When I made it to the spot as I expected Carter was nowhere to be found. I went over the plan with the fellas as we loaded our guns. We separated in five different cars everyone had it’s own location.
As we were getting ready to leave, Carter’s car pulled up. His emotion was written all over his face as he texted on his phone. He looked so anxious as if he knew something we didn’t.
“We don’t need you.” I said before he could make it towards us.
“What you mean?” He asked
“I mean your ass just now deciding to come. Nah we good we don’t need you. So you can turn your happy ass back around and get in the car and leave.”
“You be on some other shit.”
“Nah that be you homeboy. To be honest you be on that shady shit and I really don’t vibe with your ass like that.”
“So what you tryna say.”
“I’m saying today is your last day on my payroll.”
“Like that?”
“Just like that nigga fuck you mean!”
“Iight you gon get yours believe that.” He said walking towards his car.
“Don’t make threats then run. If you really about that life do it. Jump homeboy!” I said looking him square in the eyes. “That’s what I thought pussy! Get the fuck from around me before I send your ass to sleep for good!”
He laughed, then got in his car and burnt rubber. I knew this wasn’t the end of it but I had bigger fish to fry. I ordered everyone to get in their cars and head to their designated area.
Derico was in the driver seat as I sat in the passenger seat. We had three of our workers; Ace, Jon Jon, and Lil J in the backseat holding heavy artillery. Rick Ross, The Trillest blasted from Derico’s Pro TL-2691 speakers.
If they wanna go to war, well let’s take ‘em to war
You niggas gonna feel this
The lyrics of the song had me in my zone. My trigger finger was itching and I was ready to body me a few niggas. These niggas was definitely going to feel this!
Derico pulled up to one of their trap houses and bullets automatically began to hit the car. How the fuck these niggas know we was coming? I asked myself as I stuck my gun out the window and began spraying back. My mind traveled back to Carter and how different he was acting, putting two and two together, my blood began to boil when I realized that he set us up.
Bodies started to drop like flies as bullets flew from different directions. Derico was on some bold nigga shit as he hopped out the car and began wetting niggas up. I ain’t want to leave my nigga hanging, so I jumped out and started putting in work as well. Although we were outnumbered, we was carrying heavy heat, which worked out to our advantage.
After knocking every single body down like bowling pins, we ran back in the car and left before twelve came.
“That nigga set us up!” I yelled banging my fist against the dash.
“I peeped that shit too, but I got something for that snake,” Derico fumed as we pulled up to our spot.
“Call up them boys and see where they at,” I said getting out the car and firing a blunt.
I wanted so badly for Chad to see the type of snake Carter was. When I ever saw that nigga he was catching one off rip. I was done watching this nigga walk the earth. It was time I did the world a favor and eliminated his ass.
“Everybody good and they on their way,” Derico said holding his hand out for the blunt. “What we finna do now?” he asked.
“We sit back and wait. I know them niggas finna get back at us so we gotta stay ready.”
“I stay strapped,” Derico said lifting up his shirt and exposing his burners.
“Let me get out of here and head home before the thug in my life fuck me up,” I laughed.
“I heard your girl got them hands on her.”
“She do and I ain’t tryna feel them tonight.”
“Iight boss man be easy.”
As I walked to my car, something didn’t feel right. It felt as if someone was watching me. Looking around, I thought I was just being paranoid until I felt cold steel being pressed against the back of my head.
“Talk that hot shit now pussy nigga,” Carter said.
“Oh, you think you bold because you was able to catch me off guard?” I asked laughing at his lame ass.
I saw Derico out the corner of my eyes walk out of the house and look over at me. It was dark, so he really couldn’t see what was going on. He looked my way some more before deciding to see what was going on.
“Boss man you…”
POW!! POW!! POW!! POW!!
Chapter 29
Honey
I woke up this morning to an empty bed. I guess Rob decided he wanted to test my patience. I told his ass that I wanted him to start making it home before the sun came up. Looks like his disobedient ass allowed the sun to rise before he showed face.
I thought about packing my shit and leaving, but why should I? I was the woman of the house I was the one carrying the baby, so he had to go. I sat on the bed, legs crossed, with my phone in my hand waiting for his ass to come home.
Calling him, all I kept getting was the voicemail, which pissed me off even more. I was really gonna fuck this nigga up when he decided to come home. This was about to be a wrap for us; I was not about to play second to the streets.
The banging on my front door pissed me off even more. I was already deranged, so for a bitch to come banging on my door like they ain’t have no damn sense pushed me over the edge. I got up off the bed, picked up the baseball bat that sat by the closet door, then swung the front door open.
“Why the fuck you….” My words got stuck down my throat when I opened the door and saw Derico standing there with blood all over his t-shirt. “What happened?” I asked trying to keep my composure.
“Honey, we have to head to the emergency room,” he said putting his head down.
“No! No! No! No! Noooooooo!!” I cried out dropping to the floor.
This had to be a fucking dream. I couldn’t believe this shit was happening to me. I began to hyperventilate as I thought the worst. I wasn’t ready to claim Rob’s body, plan a funeral, or watch him get buried. This couldn’t be life for me right now.
“C’mon let’s go,” Derico said picking me up off the ground and carrying me to his car.
He placed me in the car then went back in the house. A few minutes later, he came out shirtless. He went in his truck, grabbed him a shirt, and threw it over his head.
There were so many questions running through my head that I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t find my voice. It was like my brain forgot how to tell my vocal cords when to speak. I prayed over and over and over again, asking God to spare Rob’s life for the sake of our child.
When we got to the emergency room, my body went numb. I stared at the doors of the emergency room and feared what awaited me behind them. Derico parked the car and we sat in silence for a few minutes. Both of us had one question that was heavy on our mind that we feared the answered.
“We gotta go see about him,” Derico finally said.
“Can you please just tell me what happened?”
“With all due respect, Honey, I’m going
to leave that up to him. You pregnant and I’m not trying to have you out here stressing over irrelevant shit. What matters now is Rob,” he said getting out of the car.
He walked over to my side and held the door open for me. I forced myself to get up and walk. I felt like I was on death row and I was taking my final walk before getting the life sucked out of me.
“How may I help you?” the pretty receptionist asked with a bright smile on her face.
“We’re here for Robert Walker,” Derico said.
“He’s in room 2645 B,” she said checking us in and handing us both visitor’s badges.
“Thank you,” he replied
The walk to his room felt like a long one. Everything felt as if it was moving in slow motion. When we finally made it, my legs got weak. I wasn’t mentally prepared for what was behind that door.
“Suck it up, Honey, and go see about your man,” Derico said.
I was finally able to convince myself to go inside. When I did, I broke down crying. His body was connected to so many cords that he looked like a human maze. His face was swollen and the machine that was breathing for him made a high-pitched sound making me sick to my stomach.
“Why?” I whispered before collapsing on his chest.
I had to feel his body next to mine. For some reason, I thought I was in Frozen and all he needed to be cured was a kiss from his true love. Placing my lips on his, tears mixed with snot ran down my face as I tried my best to breathe life into him. I wasn’t ready to live without him. We just started; it was too soon for us to end.
“Hello, I’m Dr. Fisher. I have some updates on Mr. Walker,” he said flipping through his chart. “First thing first, when Mr. Walker came in he was in terrible condition. He suffered from six bullet wounds. Luckily for him, none of them were fatal and we were able to remove them all. The reason Mr. Walker is on the breathing machine is because he has sickle cell. During his last surgery, he had an episode that put him in a coma. Right now, we’ve done all we can, so it’s up to him. However; if he does not progress in a month, it’s our hospital’s policy to discharge the patient so you will be left with two options; one, leave him on the breathing machine but relocate him to a different hospital, or two pull the plug.”
