by Shyla Colt
“Hey, Nevy.”
His gentle tone sets off alarm bells. “What’s wrong?” I glance outside, expecting to see Wizard come walking in. He was due for a shift an hour ago, but I knew club business came first and it could come up swiftly.
“It’s Wizard. He was in an accident.”
“What?” I narrow my eyes and shake my head, unable to fully comprehend his words. My man was granite. Nothing could touch him.
“We really need to get you to the hospital.”
“Hospital?” My head spins and my knees grow weak. I clutch the counter in front of me to remain upright.
“It was a hit and run, baby. He’s on the operating table right now. I came to get you.”
“Surgery?” I whisper.
“Yes. Come on, Nevy, I’ll take you.”
“B-but the shop.” I turn to look at the crew that gathers around me.
“They can handle it.”
“Just go, boss,” Jenna says.
I nod my head and take my father’s offered hand. Nothing matters right now but getting to Gage. I cling to my dad like a small child and force my legs to function. I feel disconnected from my body as I run the nightmarish scenarios over and over in my head. Accidents are almost a coffin guarantee. Car versus motorcycle. It’s a no brainer. “Dad, how bad off is he?” I whisper.
“I don’t know.”
I squeeze his hand. “You’ve always been straight up with me. Don’t sugar coat it now.”
“It’s touch and go.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. There’s no life without Wizard in it. He brought color and joy back to me. The landscape without his presence is bleak and barren. I gather my emotions into a ball and shove them to the back of my mind. Whatever the outcome, he needs me there present and at his side the moment I’m able to be. I owe him that much. The fresh air helps clear my head and I stand up straight, carrying myself with the grace of an old lady who’s solid. I follow my father to his bike, and climb on behind him. It feels wrong. He’s not lean and tall, and he sure as hell doesn’t smell like Wizard. I wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face in his cut to hide the tears I can’t keep from falling.
I go against the grain and allow myself to take comfort from my father. Things have been different between us since he returned. Maybe having me become an old lady took the pressure off him that had made him an asshole. Either way, I’m grateful as hell to have him right now. By the time we pull into the hospital parking lot, the wind has dried up my tears. I feel like I’m in a long, dark tunnel as we walk inside. The press of people with the worry, stress, and sickness coming off of them in waves has me feeling claustrophobic. I gulp down air, feeling like a woman about to sink below the surface of quicksand.
“This way.” My father guides me down the hallway.
“Please tell me we have a lead on the person who did this?”
My father turns toward me. Anger flashes in his eyes. “We have someone on it. That’s all you need to know.”
He put me in my place. I knew I was overstepping my boundaries. Right now, I’m grasping at straws to keep my mind from launching into cause of death scenarios. I nod my head quickly and study the white floor with flecks of color. There are a million tiny round circles that hold the imprint of the others who’ve come before me. I hear a murmur of the voices. Glancing up, I spot the small group of KOC members posted in a corner.
Stone stands up and I hold my breath.
“Any news, P?” Dad asks.
“No, we’re still waiting.” He looks over at me. “How you doing, darling?”
I shrug, unable to speak around the golf ball lodged in my throat. I begin to pace the length of the section where we are while peering out the windows. It’s amazing that the day could remain beautiful and sunny when my world is coming apart at the seams. I replay the past year over in my head. We’d had a lot of good times and some bad. It’d been an adjustment becoming beholden to someone else. He liked his freedom and I liked to hide. It’d been a cluster fuck we’d untangled because we loved each other. Love. The word slammed into my chest like a sledgehammer. God, how had I not realized how deep in I was? What if he never knows how I feel? The thought haunts me. So many times, the words were on the tip of my tongue, but I would swallow them back down like a coward. When he comes out of this, I’ll tell him. I hold the word when close to my heart. The other outcome isn’t an option. We weren’t brought together to be torn apart this soon. Please, God, bring him through this!
The minutes crawl by. The men come and go in shifts. It makes me think the accident wasn’t what it seems. It’s not my business, so I don’t ask. A nurse in a pea green smock walks by and I hold my breath. When she continues on her way I release the strangle hold I’ve placed on my lungs. I suck in air and I clear my throat, to offset the dryness.
“Maybe you should get some fresh air,” my father suggests.
“No. I want to be here when the doctor comes back.”
He opens his mouth to speak.
I glare at him.
He closes it and looks away.
He doesn’t understand the way I feel. Whatever he had with my mother wasn’t love. Not the way they treated one another. It was a one-night stand turned into a lifetime commitment. I roll my shoulders to ease my stiff muscles and return to looking out the window.
“I’m looking for the next of kin for Gage Carmody.”
I turn to see a doctor dressed in blue scrubs and a lab coat standing in front of us. My stomach lurches and I find myself obsessively searching for any clues. His uniform is pristine and his face is impassive. God, is he dead? My heart thuds in my chest and blood rushes in my ears. I sway slightly and regain my footing, careful not to lock my knees.
“We’re the only family he has. This his fiancée,” Stone says.
I step forward and grip the sides of my T-shirt.
“Mr. Carmody is in ICU. We’ve gotten him stable. He has three broken ribs, a broken leg, and a fractured wrist, but the worst of it is the swelling in his brain. Now we have him on meds to keep him under and allow his brain to heal on its own. If it doesn’t, we may need to go in and drill some holes to relieve the pressure. For now, it’s a waiting game. Once the swelling begins to decrease, we can begin to talk about what the lasting effects may be and when we should let him begin to wake.”
“Is he brain dead?” I whisper.
“No, his activity is decreased, but that’s to be expected after the impact he took. Even with a helmet, his head received serious trauma...”
He continues to speak, but the shock has set in and everything is getting fuzzy. I appreciate that he’s dumbing down the medical jargon, but they all amount to the same thing. Wizard is far from being out of the woods and if he does come back to us, he may be irrevocably changed.
“This is how this is going to go down. I want someone in his room with him at all times. When he wakes up, it’ll be to a familiar face,” Stones states.
His voice jars me back into reality.
“Look alive, girl, he’s not dead! We both know Wizard is tough as nails. He’ll be back and on top before we know it.”
I clear my throat. “I know you’re right, it’s just a lot to take in.”
“I get that, but right now he needs you. If there’s anything he’s fighting to get back to…it’s you.”
If only that was true.
“The Doc said we could go back one at a time. I want to give you first visit.”
“Okay.”
“Breezy, walk her in.”
The lanky prospect with a mop of dark brown hair breaks away from the group.
I follow him back. The smell of antiseptic and the beeps of machines fray what’s left of my nerves. I try to prepare myself for what we’ll walk into.
We stop in front of room four-twenty-seven and Breezy opens the door. “I’ll be right out here.”
“Thanks.” I walk inside the dimly lit room and stare at the blue curtain that surrounds his b
ed. My feet are stuck to the white tile flooring as my mind plays cruel tricks. My chest aches and my head pounds. I force my legs to move, feeling like an infant taking their first step as I wobble. Step by step, I make my way to his side. Pulling back the curtain I cry out—his face is so swollen I can barely stand it.
His skin looks like it hurts. The bruises paint his face in shades of black and blue. He looks so small and fragile with the white blanket pulled up to his chin.
I reach out and gently touch his dark head. “I don’t know if you can hear me, but I know some people can when they’re in a forced state of unconsciousness, so I… I’m just going to talk this thing out.” I peel back the covers and a whimper spills from my lips.
Abrasions line his arms and patches of hair have been ground down in certain areas. It’s as if someone took a grater to him.
I take his hand and cover the top and bottom with my own. “Last night, we were making love and we had all of the time in the world for me to get over my fears and tell you how I truly feel. Now, I’m kicking myself for my cowardice.” I bend over and kiss his knuckles. “I’ve been letting my life circumstances control me for a long time. I figured the only way to stay safe was to build up walls and stay behind them. Then you came along and made me break all of my rules.” I laugh. “You’d be proud of that, I know…” It feels good to smile.
He’s here, still breathing and fighting to get better. If anyone can come out of this even stronger, it’s Wizard.
“You make all of the problems go away, Gage. It made me take you for granted. When someone’s your rock, you see them as invincible.” I lift his hand and place it against my face, wishing I could feel him cup my cheek once more. “When you get back, I’ll tell you everything I’ve been dying to say. You see, I’ve fallen in love with you. I can’t even,” my voice shakes and I clear my throat, “I can’t picture my life without you. Because of you, I’ve become the person I always dreamed of being. I’m in control of my destiny. It’s the single most amazing gift anyone’s ever given me. I think you knew that. You were always so cautious not to take advantage of the position of power you held. That only made me fall for you faster.” I close my eyes and revel in the warmth of his palm.
This means he’s alive. Blood continues to pump through his veins and his heartbeat is a steady pulse playing on the monitor.
“When you wake up I’m going to tell you this, and I hope to God you feel the same way.” The knock on the door reminds me I’m not the only one who needs to see him. “I need to let the others have a turn with you, but I’ll be back. When you come back to me, I want mine to be the first face you see.” I lower his arm, re-bundle him, and bend down to gently brush his chapped lips with mine. It’s my turn to be the strong foundation he needs until he’s back on his feet. I rush away from the bed without looking back. If I see him lying there so still, I’m going to break down. I make a mental list of things that need to be taken care of. He wouldn’t want things to fall by the wayside in his absence. I cling to that thought as I emerge.
Stone is standing beside Breezy. “You okay?” he asks.
“I’ll live. He doesn’t look like himself.” I shake my head. “I know he would want me to keep things going with the store. I’ll continue to oversee everything and spend as much time here as possible until he’s back to his old self.”
“We don’t know how long that might be, Nevy,” he cautions.
“I’m willing to wait,” I say, answering the questions I see in his eyes.
“And I respect that. I want you to take prospects with you when you go somewhere. I’m having you trailed.”
“Am I in danger?” I tense. It’s been years since we had a lockdown. They’re unpleasant and stressful. It’s the last thing I need to deal with on top of this medical emergency.
“We’re not sure. But we sure as hell aren’t taking any chances.”
“Okay.”
“Breezy, she’s yours to shadow until I give you further notice, understood?”
“Yes, Pres,” Breezy states.
He follows me out of the building and I resign myself to his presence. It’s par for the course.
* * * *
I glance at my watch, then peer out the front door and crane my neck looking for signs of Shannon, my relief for the day. I haven’t seen Wizard today and I’m anxious to get to the hospital.
He’s been doing well. His brain swelling went down on its own over the course of a week. It’s been a few more since and still, he slumbers. He responds to some things like light and sound. They believe he’s healing, but there’s no exact science to consciousness.
The waiting is killing me. I tell myself I see signs of change with every visit. That he seems more alert, and he’s actually hearing my words. The bell above the door rings. Trixie’s frame makes me scowl.
This is the last thing I need right now.
“Are you lost?”
“Oh no, I wanted to see you and I know that you have no protection.”
“I always have protection. Not that I need it from you.” I wonder when Breezy will return from lunch. We just got the shop up and running. The last thing I want to do is get a bad rep. It was the whole reason we opened the place up on a different side of town, with no club affiliations. “If you’re here to shop, your money spends as good as anyone else’s. Otherwise, I want you out. You should know better than to show you face around anything related to Kings of Chaos. You know the rules.”
“How does it feel having everything that matters taken away?” She flashes me a vindictive smile and suddenly I know. Somehow, she was behind Wizard’s accident.
“Who are you working for?” I growl.
“You’ll find out soon enough. Chaos is going to burn to the ground and I’m going to have a front seat.”
“I’m going to kick your ass.” I come around from behind the counter.
She laughs. “You can try. But it’ll do nothing to stop what’s about to happen.”
I want to snatch her blonde hair bald, but right now, the most important thing is alerting Stone.
“Aren’t you wondering where your bodyguard is?” she whispers.
“Son of a bitch.”
The girls step up and form a semi-circle around me. “Is there a problem here?” Jenna, who’s become my right-hand-woman, asks.
A loud explosion goes off out front. We hit the floor.
Trixie rushes off.
My stomach churns. Scrambling to my feet I give chase. I rush out of the front door to hell on Earth. My car is on fire. Breezy is bleeding out on the concrete. I scan the area and spot Trixie’s hair flying out behind her. She’s on the back of a bike with a property cut I recognize immediately.
Stupid bitch.
The 45ers are small time bad news. They have a small crew who look to exploit weaknesses and make easy money. They don’t like Chaos because we keep them in check.
I rush over to Breezy and check his pulse. It’s there, but faint. “Jenna! Call an ambulance and get me my cell phone.”
She runs back and returns with my cell phone.
I hit speed dial.
“Is Wizard okay?”
“Stone, we have a problem. Trixie is riding bitch for the 45ers. She just came in to the shop to inform me Chaos was going to burn.”
Stone snorts. “I don’t know what lines they fed her, but they have no power.”
“She sounded pretty fucking sure.”
“I’ll put out patrols. Issue the lockdown warnings.”
“Thank you,” I say, relieved. “Breezy is down. I have an ambulance coming right now. It’s looking bad.” Tears fill my eyes. I’ve already lost so much and now the rest of my world seems to be in danger of falling.
“I’m going to have her god damn head on a platter for this bullshit. Do not leave without prospects.”
“I won’t.” We disconnect.
Sirens blare in the distance. I see the flashing lights as they come around the corner. They pull up onto the cu
rb and the doors open. “What happened, ma’am?”
“I don’t know. I came out here and found him like this. He left for lunch twenty minutes ago, so it couldn’t have happened that long ago.”
“All right, we’ll handle it from here. I need you to step back and let us work.”
I comply with their request and send a prayer to Mother Mary as they strap my friend onto a body board and lift him up. I want to go with him, but I know it’s not my place. I need to stay here as Stone asked. I stand and watch dazed, as they lift him up and push him into the red vehicle.
“We’ll be going to Mt. St. Joseph Hospital, ma’am.”
“Thank you.” I back away as they pull away from the curb. Tendrils of hair fall into my face and I blow them out of my eyes. I must look a fright. Smoothing down my gray skirt I turn to go inside.
An anxious faced Jenna is staring at me. “Are you okay?”
“I’m trying to be,” I answer as honestly as possible.
“Nevada, you should come inside,” a masculine voice says.
I glance up and look at Wheels. “Yeah, you’re right.” I follow him in and wonder what the next few hours will bring.
We retreat into the store and watch every person who goes by with distrustful gazes.
Shannon walks in a few minutes later. “What the hell happened?”
Snickers and nervous laughter break out.
“You missed a lot,” I whisper. Wizard. A strange vibe settles in the pit of my stomach. “Wheels, we need to go.”
“Go where? The police will be arriving any moment.”
“To the hospital. Jenna can talk to them. She knows just as much as me about my car.”
“Why?”
“I want to make sure Wizard is okay.”
“We’re watching him in shifts.”
“I know, I know. Just…appease an old lady, please?”
“If that’s what you want to do, Nevada.”
“I do.” I grab my purse from behind the counter and rush out with him trailing behind me. Something is nagging me. We pull out of the parking lot as the police pull up. My brain continues to try to make connections. I’m missing something. An image of Fuse talking with one of the new prospects flashes in my mind. Steel. The welder who’d joined up a few months back. I smack Wheels’ shoulder. “Pull over!” I yell.
