by Shyla Colt
“Relax, Nevada, the baby is fine.”
The voice makes my blood run cold. I close my eyes and will it to be a drug induced hallucination. I know I’m on something, because I’m calm and slightly off kilter.
“Hiding isn’t an option anymore.” The anger is there in his voice, kept in check but evident.
I open my eyes and find him sitting in a chair beside the bed. He’s leaning over his elbows, staring me down. “When did you know?”
I lick my dry lips and swallow. “Couple weeks ago. I went to the doc when I couldn’t shake my lethargy and I kept throwing up.”
“And you didn’t think it was something you should tell me.”
“Don’t you wonder if it’s yours?”
“Don’t play games with me. I may not remember the last year, but I sure as fuck know you and what kind of woman you are.”
I glance down, ashamed.
“The fuck were you thinking?” he hisses.
“Is the baby okay?” I ask, ignoring his question.
“Yes. It’s fine. You were lucky, both of you. You shouldn’t been on the back of a bike in the first place. Jesus.”
“I didn’t want anyone else to know before you.”
“Fuck.”
“This is why…this is why I kept it to myself. This is my baby. We’re not some shackle around your wrists. I don’t want to tie you down, or receive your half ass pity. I won’t do that to my baby. I won’t allow it.”
“So, you know me that well? You think I’d be like Hulk? That’s a fucking insult! I helped raised you. I picked you up from school, took you to your after school classes, and whatever else you needed, just like the other brothers.”
“You couldn’t even handle me, Gage. Why would I think you could handle this?”
“It’s not my fault this shit happened to me.”
“I didn’t say it—was.” My voice cracks.
The door opens. “We saw a spike in her vitals. Good, you’re awake.” My blue eyed angel appears again, saving the day. She walks over to the bed, glaring at Wizard. “How are you feeling?”
“Not so good,” I admit.
“Yeah. You’ve been through a lot.” She turns to Wizard. “I bet she’d really appreciate a nice cold glass of water. Could you get it from the front desk?”
He pushes his large frame out of the chair and stomps across the room.
I close my eyes as the door slams shut behind him.
“If we need to remove him, just say the word.”
“No, h-he just found out about the baby,” I whisper.
“Ahhh.” She busies herself checking my stats. “Well, he or she is a fighter. Vitals are good. The doctor will be in to speak with you shortly, once I let him know you’re awake.”
“How long will I be here?”
“That all depends on the doctor.”
The door opens. The sight of Wizard standing in the doorway with a large pink cup makes me snicker.
The nurse pats my hand. “I’ll let the doctor know you’re awake now. Make sure you sip the drink slowly. Your belly is pretty empty.” She walks away.
Wizard takes her place, offering up the drink.
I take a sip from the white straw, and hum my pleasure.
“Looks like we swapped places,” he says.
“Yeah, I guess we did. Fuse?”
“Won’t be bothering anyone anymore.”
“Thank God.” I close my eyes. One problem down—a million more to go.
“You really think I’d fuck our kid over?” he asks.
“I wasn’t willing to take the chance. I’m still not. You don’t want to be with me. That’s fine. But if you decide to be in the baby’s life, you need to stay there. The shit that abandonment does to a person, I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.”
Wizard sighs. “I wouldn’t. I don’t want to fuck this up, Nevada. Not for you or him.”
“Her.”
His eyes widen. “You know the baby’s sex?”
“No, just pointing out, it could be a girl.”
“Jesus, I hope God’s not that cruel. If she looks anything like you, I’d be running out of places to hide the bodies of motherfuckers who dare look at her.”
I snicker and wince when I move my leg.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, leg hurts.”
“It will for a while.” His solemn face speaks of first-hand knowledge.
“I’ll live.”
“While you were gone, I started remembering things.”
I turn my head to stare at him. “Yeah?”
He nods. “Just bits and flashes, impressions of feelings. I—I missed you, but I didn’t want to dick with what you had here. You had a shot at a clean break. I figured it would be best to let you enjoy that. This may be all I ever have and I didn’t know if it’d be enough.”
I breathe deeply and grip the blankets tight as I wait for him to continue.
“Now, the baby changes everything. I’m not about to have you out here on your own, carrying my kid. You need to come home back to our house.”
I grit my teeth. It’s everything I wanted, but not. “I don’t want this to be something you feel forced—”
“Did you hear me say I missed you? I want to try this thing again. Can you give me that?”
I peer into his blue eyes and see the man I fell in love with. He may never get those months back, but I think we can get return to that point. “I can give you that.”
He smiles. “Shit. I didn’t expect to…” He shakes his head. “I’m going to be a dad.”
“Yes, you are.” He’s taking it much better than I expected.
“Holy fuck, Nevada! You’ve turned my life upside down, but I don’t think I mind.”
“No?” I whisper.
He caresses the side of my face with his knuckles and I close my eyes, soaking up the affection. I have missed these moments with him.
“No,” he answers.
It’s a starting point. A place to build from. We’ve done this dance before. It’s only a matter of remembering the steps.
Epilogue
Life is an unpredictable combination of cause and effect. We all do our best to navigate through. If you’d told me a year earlier I’d be this happy, I wouldn’t believe you. Once Nev came home, shit fell into place. I vaguely remember our time together, but it’s the memories we made after the accident that matter the most. I watch her rock back and forth in the hand-carved rocking chair. My son drinks from her breasts and I’m amazed. They keep my demons at bay. This house is my sanctuary. The hard earned prize given after a tough day at work. I thought I understood family because I belonged to Chaos, but I didn’t know shit. There’s nothing like your own flesh and blood. The moment I held Vegas in my arms, shit shifted for me.
“You coming in, or do you just plan on watching us from the door frame?”
I smirk. “Where’d you get that sassy ass mouth from?”
“My old man helped me develop it.”
I snicker. “Don’t put that shit on me. I discovered what was lurking in the shadows.”
She glances up and smiles over our son’s head. “Hi Daddy.”
I cup his head and marvel at the downy black peach fuzz. “Hey Mama. Is Vegas hungry?”
“Yes, he’s insatiable, much like someone else I know.”
“We don’t know what you mean, do we, my boy?” I whisper.
She snickers. Her dark hair falls behind her back and her eyes shimmer with pure joy.
It’s the most beautiful thing I think I’ve ever seen. She gave me back light. I want to do right by her. “I have a present for you.”
“Yeah?”
I kneel beside the chair and dig into my pocket. My hand shakes slightly as I clutch the black velvet box. I pull it out and open it. “What do you say we make this family official?”
“Gage?” She stares at me. “Y-you want to marry me?”
“I want everyone to know you’re mine. Inside our world and out.
I want us to share the same last name. I can’t,” I clear my throat, “I can’t imagine life without you, Nevada. You brought me out of a darkness I thought was inescapable. After all we’ve been through, it’s only right we take this thing the whole way.” I circle the round scar on her left arm. A gruesome reminder of the day she could’ve lost her life.
“I’d love to marry you, Gage.”
My heart sings and I’m fighting back tears like a baby. “Shit, Nevada.”
She leans forward and captures my lips. Like always, she hears the words I can’t say out loud.
We cement our latest step with a mating of mouths that never fails to make my blood race through my veins. I taste love, acceptance, and sunshine. This woman is everything. With the birth of Vegas, the love we share has extended.
Two souls longing for more have joined and I know we’ll never be parted until they lay me down for the long sleep.
The End
Glossary
Cut- vest worn by Motorcycle Club members
MC – Motorcycle Club
Old Lady – Like a wife/ long term girlfriend
Sweetheart/Sweetie- Girlfriend or someone a biker is dating
Sweetbutt- Name of a girl who hangs around the club and is always available for sex. Can be the “Property of one of the members”
House Mouse- Depending on their temperament they can be given as gifts to an old lady. They are used to clean up and do chores.
Positions
President- Leader of the Chapter.
Vice President- Second in charge. Fills in when President isn’t around.
Sergeant at Arms - Basically the club’s police man. He enforces club policy and procedures in meetings.
Enforcers – There to help the Sergeant at arms do his job. They often stand guard at meetings.
Secretary – Responsible for the club’s paper work, including club records.
Treasurer- The chapter’s money man. He collects club fees, pays bills, etc.
The Wise One - He often looks after the club’s spiritual needs. He’s often referred to as the “Chaplin”.
Road Captain- He’s usually in charge of the logistics of the club. IE: Planning routes, fuel stops, etc.
Asst. Road Captain: Assists the Road Caption.
Patch Members ( Riders)- members who’ve earned the right to wear the clubs color after paying their dues as a Prospect. They’re also known as Patches or members.
Nomad- A club member who doesn’t belong to any particular chapter.
Prospect- Man in training to become a member of a Motorcycle club after a probationary period.
