I stopped inside the open plan living area. Joe’s body wavered as he continued walking ahead of me. His voice sounded distorted, like he was underwater.
The room tilted and little black dots scattered across my vision.
I thought I heard Joe shout my name.
That’s the last thing I heard before the dots all joined together and all I saw was black.
The first thing I was aware of was the throbbing in my cheek, near my eye.
Confused, it took me a second to remember the assault and then my eyes flew open in panic.
Daylight streaming into an unfamiliar room greeted me and the tightness on my chest got worse as I tried to remember where the hell I was and what was happening.
“You’re awake.”
The familiar voice drew my attention. Turning my head on a soft pillow, I found Joe sitting in an armchair by the side of the bed. His clothes and hair were rumpled and his eyes a little bleary like he hadn’t slept.
Despite my confusion, I relaxed.
“Where am I?” the words croaked out of me. My mouth was so dry.
“Lake Tahoe.” Joe leaned forward, his eyes narrowed. “You don’t remember last night?”
Slowly his voice brought back the memories.
I’d passed out upon arrival.
When I woke up, Joe was trying not to freak out. I promised him I just needed to sleep, that I hadn’t slept in days. He tried to ask questions, but I’d fallen asleep on him.
“What time is it?” I pushed up into a sitting position, glad to feel the strength back in my arms. While there was a heaviness in my head, my eyelids felt lighter for having slept.
“It’s midday, New Year’s Eve. You’ve slept around fifteen hours.”
Holy crap.
Guess I needed it though.
Joe’s expression suddenly darkened as he stared at my face. “When you fainted, you hit the floor on your cheek pretty hard. I put some ice on it. Funny thing though… the ice took off your makeup and beneath the fresh swelling there were bruises.”
Shit.
I looked away. “Joe…”
“What happened?”
Protecting my sister from what had happened was one thing. Protecting myself from Joe’s need to protect was another. While I wanted many things from him I couldn’t have… I didn’t want his protection. I didn’t need it. I was alone. And I didn’t need the illusion of not being alone.
“You know, I’m starving. While my sister was setting us up, did she happen to stock the cabin for food?”
I whipped off the covers and stopped when I realized I was in my sleep shorts. I glared at Joe.
He shrugged nonchalantly. “I couldn’t let you sleep in your jeans.”
I glanced down at my top, grateful to see it was the thermal Henley I’d been wearing upon my arrival. Still, Joe had taken off my jeans.
I felt a tingle between my legs at the thought.
Okay, definitely feeling better then.
“Oh.” I slipped out of the bed, skirting him and feeling his heat without even touching him. “Food?”
The creak of the wooden floorboards told me Joe was following me out of the room. The floors were toasty beneath my feet, suggesting under floor heating. In fact, the entire cabin was comfortably warm, even though the fire from the log burner had died during the night.
I came to a stop in the middle of the open plan room.
Because… the view.
Beyond the sitting room were sliding doors that led out onto the deck. And beyond the deck was Lake Tahoe. Crossing the room, I peered out of the doors at the majestic view of tranquil water surrounded by snow dusted trees on the hills that sloped down toward it.
“Wow.”
“Pretty spectacular, huh?” Joe came to a stop beside me. So close, his shoulder brushed mine. I glanced at him to find him watching me. His eyes narrowed on my upper cheek. “Why do you have a shiner and why did you pass out from exhaustion?”
Sighing, I turned back to the view.
I could feel Joe’s aggravation growing.
Part of me was thrilled that he gave a shit about me.
The other part was terrified of it.
“I’m not letting you leave here until you tell me.”
I scowled. “You’re not the boss of me, Joe.”
He was silent so long, I finally looked at him.
And wished I hadn’t.
Excitement scored through me at the heat in his eyes and the obvious way he was fighting it. The muscle in his jaw ticked before he yanked his gaze away from me. His voice was gruff, almost hoarse. “You’re not leaving here until I get answers.”
Indignation killed the excitement. “Didn’t you hear what I just said?”
“Cut the crap, Ryan.” He glared at me before crossing the room toward the kitchen. “A woman I care about fainted and she has a fucking black eye. Of course I want to know what happened?”
I followed him into the kitchen. I tried not to react to him saying he cared about me and failed. My tone was softer now. “Joe, it was nothing. And I don’t want you making a big deal out of it because I don’t want Shaw to know.”
He contemplated me. Then surprised me. “Coffee? Bacon roll?”
Both sounded great. I slid onto a stool at the island. “Yes, please.”
“Good. And you can tell me what happened while I make breakfast.”
“Technically, it’s lunch.”
He cut me another look.
“Or brunch,” I muttered with a shrug, staring out the side door at the kitchen. Beyond it were snow dusted trees, providing privacy between us and the neighbors. “My sister isn’t here, is she?” I asked, even though I knew the answer.
“Nope. They changed their minds a few days ago. Said Shaw wasn’t feeling too great.”
My sister had lied to me and Joe to get us at this cabin alone. Together. “You know this wasn’t an accident, right? My sister did this to us deliberately. What was she thinking?”
“Shaw later. You first.”
I watched Joe move around the kitchen as he made the coffee, trying and failing to ignore the way his long-sleeved tee molded to every inch of his perfect body. I thought about him unzipping my jeans last night when I was out for the count. Of him tugging them off and then rummaging through my luggage for my pajama shorts. Of him pulling the shorts up my legs. He must have seen my underwear. I tried to remember what pair I was wearing and couldn’t.
Oh well.
I shifted as renewed heat flooded between my legs.
I so wish I’d been awake for that moment so I could have studied Joe’s face.
Had he liked what he’d seen?
“Well?” he asked impatiently as he slid a coffee across the island toward me.
I took a bolstering sip and then stopped at the realization he knew exactly how I took my coffee. This was Joe. So I was inappropriately attracted to the man, and I’d thrown myself at him when I was drunk. But he was still Joe.
As much as it scared me to rely on anyone, he was my friend.
I met his dark gaze. He was worried about me. It was plain to see. “Promise not to tell Shaw.”
He frowned. “I don’t like keeping secrets.”
“Considering the high possibility that the little busybody is trying to play matchmaker with us, I wouldn’t be too concerned about keeping secrets from her.”
Joe gave a huff of unamused laughter. “Right.”
I took another sip of coffee. Remembering Christmas Day set off a spark of unwanted adrenaline. My hand shook around the mug and I lowered it quickly.
Joe caught the movement anyway. “Hey,” his voice was soothing as he reached out to cover my hand with his. “It’s okay. I’m here.” He held my gaze. “Gotta admit you’re scaring me a little, baby.”
I shivered at the pet name he’d never used with me before. It was so intimate. Something a lover might call me. And I stupidly wanted to launch myself across the island and into his brawny arms. Instead, I slipped my hand o
ut from beneath his and dropped it in my lap. Staring at the counter, unable to look at him now, I shrugged. “I’m making a bigger deal out of it than it was.”
“Ry, I’m losing patience here. I got a million ugly things going through my head right now, and I need to know that I’m wrong about all of them.”
“Sorry.” I forced myself to look at him. “I’m not used to anyone but Shaw caring.”
That seemed to piss him off even more. “Well, I care. I care a fucking lot.”
“Joe…” I shrugged, helpless against his concern. “Christmas Day. After I left early… when I got home, my door was ajar and the lock broken. And I was stupid. I was so stupid.” I shook my head at myself. Everything they tell you not to do, I did. “I went into the apartment and there was a guy in my bedroom. He was high, had a garbage bag filled with my stuff… but he had,” my eyes filled with tears, “He was going through my jewelry box and he had my mom’s locket in his hand. I didn’t think. I just went for him. We grappled and we found ourselves in the living room. I pushed him into the tree and when he got back up, he charged me and we fell into the glass coffee table.”
Joe sucked in a breath.
“I was so lucky—it was only a couple of minor cuts on my back. But he punched me hard and he was out of it… if my neighbor hadn’t heard the commotion and come running in, it could have been so much worse. The guy took off. He didn’t get any of my stuff. But…” I ran a hand through my hair, embarrassed at what I was about to admit. “He scared me. I’m scared. I… until last night I hadn’t slept since it happened.”
Movement drew my eyes up and I watched as Joe marched around the island. “What…”
Suddenly he hauled me up out of the stool, his arms bound tight around me, crushing me to him. Joe buried his face in my neck, breathing hard.
Realizing he wasn’t just comforting me but himself, I closed my arms around him too, my fingers curling tight into his shirt.
For the first time in days—no, years—I felt something I hadn’t felt since I was fourteen years old.
I felt safe.
And the fact that I felt that, and that Joe needed to be comforted after hearing about my ordeal, made me realize this wasn’t just a one-sided attraction.
What was between us wasn’t just attraction at all.
And that made it infinitely more dangerous to both of us.
Chapter 4
JOE
* * *
I wanted to find the bastard who had attacked Ryan. Who had shaken her up so badly she hadn’t slept in days. The thought of what might have happened to her if her neighbor hadn’t shown up made me sick to my stomach.
My arms tightened around her and I breathed her in, reassuring myself she was here and safe in my arms. Her perfume and the feel of her soft curves against my body were sinking in. Causing a blood flow problem.
I gently released her and guided her back to her stool. I then took a few steps back while she stared up at me with those big green eyes, looking confused.
“You okay?” the words were hoarse. I cleared my throat and rounded the island to put some distance between us.
“I’m fine.”
A bite of defensiveness flavored her words. It irritated me. “You know it’s okay not to be fine, Ry. It’s okay to need someone. And believe it or not, Shaw is not a kid anymore, and she doesn’t need you protecting her from shit. What she needs is for her sister to be okay.”
Her chin lifted stubbornly. “I am okay.”
She made me want to round the island and kiss the stubbornness right out of her. Somehow I stopped myself. “You think not sleeping for five days is okay?”
“I didn’t have to tell you and now you’re throwing it back in my face?”
Hurt glimmered in her gaze. My gut twisted and I softened my tone. “No. But it doesn’t make a person weak to ask for help. It doesn’t make you weak to need someone.”
“Yes, it does.”
“Jesus, Ryan, you can’t go through life thinking like that.”
“I’m wrong?” she pushed up off her stool, her chest heaving.
I tried not to notice anything about her but the hard edge in her voice, but it wasn’t easy. It was difficult not to remember sliding the jeans off her long legs last night. I’d tried to avert my gaze as much as possible, but those legs of hers were branded on my brain. Feeling a fresh surge of hot blood heading southward, I cleared my throat. “Yeah, you’re wrong.”
“How can I be wrong?” Ry crossed her arms over her chest.
“Because we’re built to need each other.”
“And leave each other,” she whispered hoarsely, and the devastation in her eyes killed me.
“Ry…”
“Needing people only hurts in the end. I’d rather go it alone.”
“So you’re telling me you don’t need Shaw?” I pushed.
“It’s different. She needs me.”
God, her heart was all fucked up from losing her parents. “No, baby. You need her to need you. But more than that, you love her. So in the end, you just need her. And you should tell her when shit like this happens.” I gestured to the fading bruises on her cheek.
Ry’s expression turned mulish. “I don’t think I should tell my baby sister anything. She clearly can’t be trusted.”
Knowing she referred to our current predicament, I sighed, running a frustrated hand through my hair. “I came up here a day early. Then Dex called to say Shaw wasn’t feeling so great so they were going to stay at home.”
“And Shaw told me she and Dex were coming here early and that’s why I had to drive here myself. And I hate driving in the snow.”
“You shouldn’t have been driving anywhere on no sleep.” Jesus, anything could have happened.
“I don’t need a lecture, Joe. You’re not my father-in-law.”
“Oh, I’m well aware of that.”
Whatever she heard in my voice made her eyes turn hot. Ry didn’t blush like most red-heads, but her eyes gave her away.
Shit.
Why would Shaw do this to me?
“Shaw thinks the world of you. She thinks you’re the absolute shit. And guess what? She wants the absolute shit for her sister. I tell her you two kissed and she’ll start planning the wedding.”
“Christ.” I leaned back against the counter and squeezed my eyes shut.
Shaw saw more than anyone suspected. She knew there was something between me and Ryan.
“She did this because of me.”
I looked at Ry.
She turned, giving me her profile as she stared out of the side door to the woods surrounding the cabin. “I think she might have seen me kiss you at Dex’s party.” She flicked me a quick look but couldn’t meet my gaze. “I’m sorry about that. I don’t remember much but I remember you having to push me off you, which is beyond mortifying. I was drunk. I’m sorry.”
That’s how she remembered it?
A part of me wanted to let her continue believing it. It would be easier. But it would also make me a dick. “That’s not how it happened.”
Ryan turned to me, eyes round. “It wasn’t?”
I shook my head. “You kissed me, yeah. But… I kissed you back.”
Her lush lips parted, drawing my attention. I could still feel them against mine. Still taste her.
“What… what happened?”
“I remembered you were drunk and that I’m not an asshole and that’s when I stopped the kiss. Not really a kiss.” I smirked. “We were most definitely making out.”
Ry looked confused now, and she was breathing heavier.
It was making me think not so gentlemanly things.
“And Shaw saw this?”
“Not that I’m aware of. Dex did. But he warned me off you, so this wasn’t his idea.”
“He warned you off me?” She looked hurt by that.
Clearly she was missing the big picture here. “Ry, I’m your sister’s father-in-law. And I’m sixteen years older than you. Dex kno
ws… you and I shouldn’t go there.”
“But you want to?”
I stared into those gorgeous fucking eyes of hers and imagined sinking myself deep inside her. Oh yeah. I wanted Ryan Baillie more than I could remember wanting any woman. Even as a horny goddamn teenager I couldn’t remember wanting a girl the way I wanted Ry. Because it wasn’t just sex with her. For the first time in my life, I wanted a woman to belong to me and to belong to that woman in return.
She was just the goddamn wrong woman.
Off limits.
“Dex is too important to me.” I reminded myself and her. “I won’t do anything to screw up my relationship with him. Shaw must have kept him in the dark about this.”
Ry lowered her gaze, shielding her thoughts from me. “Yeah, Shaw’s too much of a romantic. She doesn’t live in the real world sometimes.”
Hearing the hint of bitterness in her words was like taking a knife to the gut. I’d hurt her. “Ry—”
“Don’t.” She waved off my words, not meeting my gaze again. “I get it. I’m not really your type, anyway. And we’re totally different people. I don’t want a guy who needs to take care of me and you love women who want to be taken care of. A little attraction between us isn’t worth the cost to our family. I don’t need anyone. I’m fine alone. And this… is just a disaster waiting to happen so I’m going to head out.” She strode out of the living room, leaving me seething.
Not my type?
Was she fucking kidding me with that?
I loved women who want to be taken care of?
What was that shit?
A little attraction?
I moved to go after her and set her straight, but stopped myself.
Dex was right. I was sixteen years older than Ryan, and she deserved better than to be tied to someone that much older than her. If we had kids, I would be in my sixties when they were still only in their twenties.
I don’t need anyone. I’m fine alone.
My gut twisted at the thought of Ryan spending her entire life keeping people at a distance. Of that gorgeous, funny, sweet woman being lonely. And the thought of her returning to that apartment where she’d been attacked made me break out in a cold sweat.
New Year's Eve: a Novella Page 3
