0373011318 (R)

by Amy Ruttan

  “He wants to make amends. He wants me to meet him tonight at the Dead End.”

  He frowned. “That’s a seedy place.”

  “That’s not surprising for him. He was always known for frequenting those kind of establishments so I guess nothing has changed.”

  “Is this why you paged me in the OR?” he asked, not looking at her as he checked her mother’s vitals.

  “No,” Vivian said. “That’s not it.”

  “Then what is it?” he asked impatiently.

  “Andrew Sampson came to visit Gary Trainer.”

  The color drained from his face and he frowned. “Did he?”

  “Yes. I’m afraid your secret is out.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  REECE CURSED UNDER his breath as he stormed out of Vivian’s mother’s room. He couldn’t deal with this now. This was something he never wanted to deal with. As he walked down the hall all eyes turned to him. He could feel the stares, hear the whispers and he knew then there was no kind of damage control he could do. Everyone knew he was Ray Castille’s son.

  It was washing over this hospital faster than a tidal wave.

  Whoever he was before didn’t matter. They didn’t see him as Dr. Reece Castle anymore. They were looking at him, comparing him to his father, whispering about their estrangement and wondering if he had the same talent as his father and why he didn’t choose that life.

  It enraged him that they judged him this way. Hadn’t he proven himself as a surgeon? He was more than just a country legend’s son.

  Only that wasn’t what anyone saw anymore. They couldn’t see beyond his father.

  He shook his head and headed for the privacy of his office. He needed time to adjust, to figure out what he was going to do. Then he stopped. No, he was going to face this head-on. He turned and headed to Gary’s suite. Now the truth was out, there was no sense trying to deny it any longer.

  When he got there Andrew Sampson was sitting by Gary’s bedside and chatting with him. The moment Reece walked through the door the conversation stopped.

  “Why didn’t you tell me, Dr. Castle?” Gary asked. “Your dad was my idol. I can’t believe you’re Ray Castille’s estranged son.”

  “Yes. I am,” Reece said quickly. “And I’m aware that you’re fond of my father’s music.”

  “More than fond. He’s my inspiration. The stories you must have.”

  Reece snorted. Stories. Right. He had a lot of stories and they mostly consisted of addiction and violence.

  Also crushing loneliness.

  “No, not any stories. Not really.”

  “Andrew was telling me how you sang some of your father’s songs last night. You have a gift, my friend.”

  “I know. It’s medicine,” Reece snapped. He crossed his arms. “I changed my name for a reason. I can’t say I’m too impressed that my colleagues now know who my father was.”

  Andrew frowned. “I’m sorry, Dr. Castille, truly I am. I didn’t think that was something you would hide. I mean, he was your father. I thought you would be proud of that.”

  “I am aware of who he was, Mr. Sampson, and it’s Dr. Castle. Not Castille.”

  “Andrew was telling me that your father’s thirtieth anniversary of his first platinum single is coming up. They were asking me if I wanted to sing, but I’m not sure when I’m getting out of here,” Gary hedged. “You wouldn’t happen to know, would you, Dr. Castle?”

  “No, Gary. I don’t know. I can hazard a guess that you won’t be able to participate in my father’s anniversary show at the Opry.”

  “So how about you?” Andrew asked. “The offer still stands. It would be a great full circle to have you make your debut at the Opry.”

  “Debuts at the Opry are for those who are pursuing a singing career, Mr. Sampson. I’m not,” Reece said firmly.

  “You could be,” Andrew said.

  “No, I couldn’t. I’m not interested.” Reece didn’t want to stay another moment in the room. He couldn’t. He was so angry. All of his years protecting himself from this moment and it was done. He’d known it was a bad idea to sing at the Red Swallow Bistro that night. He didn’t know why he’d done it.

  Because maybe you secretly wanted everyone to know. You’re tired of holding it in.

  “Now, if you’ll excuse me, gentlemen, I have rounds.” He left the room, his pressure still high.

  “Reece!”

  He turned to see Vivian running after him.

  “Not now, Vivian,” he snapped and continued to walk away. He tried to shut the door to his office, but she pushed her way in.

  “Don’t you dare push me aside and run away from me!”

  “You ran from me,” he growled. Then he groaned, instantly regretting the words. “I’m sorry.”

  “No, it’s okay. I just wanted to check in on you.”

  “Vivian, I don’t have time for this. Go. Please, I’m begging you.”

  She crossed her arms. “No. I’m not leaving. Why are you so upset about your secret getting out?”

  “I don’t want the attention.”

  She sighed. “I’m sorry it happened. I’m sorry for it all.”

  And he had a sense that she was apologizing for more than just his secret getting out. He sat down wearily in his chair and scrubbed a hand over his face.

  “This is not what I needed today. I have three more protocols to do and I have to send your mom back down to CT.”

  Vivian nodded. “I think she’s regressed.”

  He nodded. “I think so too and I’m sorry. You said your father was here and that triggered her?”

  “I have no doubt.” He could hear the bitterness in her voice. Apparently he wasn’t the only one with father issues.

  “Is your father still here? I mean, you’re the power of attorney. You can deny him access to your mother. Especially when she’s like this... Plus when you put her into a home.”

  “I’m not putting her into a home,” Vivian said quickly.

  “Vivian, be realistic. She’s regressing fast. You can’t be with her twenty-four seven. You have a life, a career.”

  “Not much of one, if the rumors are to be believed.”

  “What rumors?” he asked.

  “My skills are being questioned. The board is demanding an answer to Gary’s medical condition. An answer I can’t give them because I can’t find what’s causing his problems.”

  “Don’t let them make you doubt yourself, Vivian. You’ll find the answer.”

  She shrugged. “It is what it is. I can only do so much, but with my mother fading perhaps I should just take a sabbatical and take care of her myself.”

  “And what if she regresses the way she did today? You could get hurt.”

  “Why do you care?” she asked.

  “I just do.”

  It was killing him not to take her in his arms like he wanted to right now. He was simultaneously angry with her and wanting to protect her. He needed her and he resented her for that.

  “I have to take care of my mother. She’s all I have.”

  “You also have a father who wants to make amends.”

  Vivian rolled her eyes. “So he says.”

  “I’ll go with you if you want.” He couldn’t believe the words that had just escaped his lips.

  “You’re going to go with me?”

  “Yes. I’ll reiterate again that he can’t be around my patient. Not while she’s in the hospital and a part of my trial.”

  Relief etched across her face. “Thank you, but you don’t have to come with me.”

  “Of course I do. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

  “Are we?” she asked.

  No. He didn’t want to be her friend. He wanted to be more. So much more, but that was just impossible.

  “Yes. Of course. You were the first person I told about my secret.”

  “I appreciate it.”

  “Come on, let’s get your mother down to CT while she’s sedated and then we’ll go down to the Dead E
nd and see if we can find your father.”

  “And what about your secret?”

  “There’s no stopping it now. It’s out. I’ll just have to try and maintain my privacy the best I can.” He opened the door and they walked out of his office together.

  “Did Andrew ask you to take part in your father’s anniversary show again?” she asked.

  “He did and I gave him the same answer as I did last night, which was no.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want to do that for your father?”

  He frowned. “Do you really want to open up the father can of worms right now?”

  “No. Okay, I’ll drop it. Let’s just get my mother’s scans done and see how bad it’s regressed.”

  “If she falls below the five percent margin, she’s no longer allowed to be on the trial. I’m sorry.”

  “I understand. Don’t be sorry.” Vivian sighed. “And I thought today was going to be an easy day.”

  Reece chuckled. “Not here. It’s never an easy day, it seems.”

  * * *

  Vivian couldn’t get the conversation with her father out of her head. She still thought meeting him was a mistake, but at least she could reiterate to him that she had the medical power of attorney and that she didn’t want him visiting her mother. He’d already done enough damage.

  Her mother was in a fragile state.

  They wheeled her down to the CT scan and Vivian prayed that her mother hadn’t fallen below the margin, so that she could stay in Reece’s trial and benefit from the therapies in the other stages of the Alzheimer’s trial.

  She stood next to Reece, staring at the computer, anxiously waiting for the brain scans to come up.

  This was her father’s fault.

  “Why did he show up?” Vivian muttered. “If he’d only kept away...”

  “You can’t blame him,” Reece said. “Should he have shown up? Probably not, but you can’t blame him.”

  And then she felt guilty for thinking that. How long had she been blaming her father? So long that it was habit.

  Reece was right; this wasn’t her father’s fault. It was the disease that plagued her mother. And right now it was her mother who needed her focus.

  Reece grounded her. Made her see all sides. She’d forgotten the effect he had on her. How much she’d missed it.

  “Sorry.”

  He smiled at her. “Don’t be sorry. I get it.”

  She wanted to ask him why he got it, but her mother’s scans came up.

  “Darn,” Reece whispered as he leaned over and looked at the scan. “I’m sorry, Vivian.”

  Tears threatened to spill, but Vivian wouldn’t let them. “It’s okay. You said her condition was worsening at an exponential rate. There was nothing you could do. Thank you for giving her a chance in your trial.”

  He tried to embrace her, but she shrugged him away.

  Vivian told herself she didn’t need his comfort, even though deep down she knew she did. She wanted it. Craved it, but denied herself it.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  “I’m fine.” She took a deep breath. “I have to go finish up a couple things before I head to the Dead End.”

  “Do you want to go together?”

  She did but instead said, “You know what, I think I need to handle it on my own. It’ll be better if I just head over there by myself. You have your own problems to deal with.”

  “If that’s what you want.”

  “It is.” And she turned on her heel and left the CT room. If she let Reece come with her, then she would eventually succumb to him again and she couldn’t have that. She didn’t deserve the happiness it would bring and he didn’t deserve the fact that she would end up hurting him again, because she would.

  She was too much her father’s daughter. She suddenly understood that now. Strong-willed and passionate. Working hard on what she believed in, even if that meant leaving behind the people you loved. And it rocked her to her very core.

  I’m just like him.

  She swallowed the knot of emotion welling up inside her. How could she be hard on her father when she too had left her mother alone, only visiting a few times in the past seven years because she was too busy with her career? And what good did that do? She couldn’t even diagnose Gary Trainer.

  But she was here now and this was where she was going to stay.

  She wouldn’t leave her mother again.

  Maybe you need someone else to help you?

  It hit her like a ton of bricks. She was looking at the nerves, looking at the organs for a sign of a tumor or some anomaly. She’d looked at the blood and the spinal fluid for something microscopic there, but what if it went deeper into the tissue? Something she couldn’t see because it was so small, so hidden that she wasn’t even looking for it?

  She rushed to her office and pulled up the latest scans from Gary, staring at them like she’d done so many times the past few days. Only this time she saw the faint shadow she’d been missing on the lower left lobe of Gary’s lung, hidden behind the liver. The shadow was so faint that his body probably hadn’t even started producing enough white blood cells to be noticeable.

  And if she was a betting woman she would put all her money on the fact that Gary had a teratoma and was suffering from Lambert-Eaton Myasenthic Syndrome or LEMS. She’d only seen it once before. She hadn’t even put it in the realms of thought when she was trying to find what was causing his issues, but now it all made sense. Why he couldn’t get oxygen when he sang. Why the pulse oximeter kept dropping. But to prove her theory she needed to get Gary a lung biopsy.

  Vivian headed out to the charge nurse. “I need your help, Swain.”

  Nurse Swain looked up from his scheduling. “What do you need, Dr. Maguire?”

  “Who is the best cardiothoracic surgeon here? One that can do a bronchoscopy on a VIP patient ASAP.”

  “Dr. Spader. I can page him to your patient’s room. Who is the patient?”

  “Gary Trainer.”

  Nurse Swain looked surprised. “I thought he was a neuro patient?”

  “He is and he still will be if my theory is proven correct.”

  “Okay, Dr. Maguire. I’ll get him down to Mr. Trainer’s room.”

  “Tell him I’ll be there waiting for him.”

  Vivian sent the CT scans to her tablet and then hurried off to meet Dr. Spader outside Gary’s room.

  “How can I help you, Dr. Maguire?”

  “I hear you’re one of the best with a bronchoscopy and biopsy of the lungs.”

  He smiled. “So they tell me.”

  Vivian brought up the CT scan, zooming in on the area in question. “My patient is suffering from a myriad of strange symptoms. Tests for white blood cells come back a bit above the normal range, but since he’s had some fevers that’s not uncommon. Spinal taps have come back clear, yet he’s had symptoms of seizures, delusion, muscle weakness and rigidity. I suspect LEMS. If we don’t do something fast, my patient could slip into a coma and die.”

  Dr. Spader cocked an eyebrow. “And you think the teratoma is on left lower lobe of the lung?”

  “I do.”

  He studied the CT scan. “It’s faint, but there is something there. Whatever it is, it’s small and just starting out.”

  “LEMS symptoms are discovered well before a cancer is, Dr. Spader.”

  “All right, I’ll get my team to prep him for a bronchoscopy first thing in the morning.”

  “Thank you, Dr. Spader.”

  “No problem, Dr. Maguire. I hope you’re correct. I know you’ve been struggling with this.”

  Vivian kept her cool. She knew that rumors were circulating around the hospital about her, she knew that it was jeopardizing the job she was vying for, but right now she didn’t care. She just wanted to get Gary better again and on the right track. “Well, if it is what I suspect it is you can understand why I had a hard time finding the source.”

  “Yes, that is very true.”

  Vivian than
ked Dr. Spader again and headed into Gary’s room.

  He looked exhausted, his body was tense and clearly in pain. Andrew Sampson had left and she was glad, because the last thing she needed was rumors about her theory circulating outside of the hospital. It was bad enough the press was camped outside, waiting for any news on Gary’s condition.

  “Hey, Doc. I thought you’d gone home for the night.”

  “Not yet.” She set the tablet down. “Tomorrow you’re going for a test.”

  He sighed. “Another scan?”

  “No. You’re getting a lung biopsy.”

  Gary looked confused. “Why?”

  “I think you have a growth on your lungs that’s causing your neurological symptoms. It’s called LEMS.”

  “LEMS?”

  “Yes, but I won’t know for sure until we do a biopsy.”

  “And if it’s not that?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t know, Gary. Unless there’s something you haven’t disclosed. Though, with the battery of tests you’ve been through, there’s not much about you we don’t know except maybe what’s causing your seizures.”

  “I’m not hiding anything, Doc. I have to say I’m tired of the tests, but why not?”

  “Get some rest. Dr. Spader will be performing the biopsy tomorrow morning.”

  “Thanks, Doc.”

  Vivian left his room. She knew now she had to get ready to see her father, to find out what he wanted so that maybe she could cut him from her life once and for all so she and her mother could finally move on.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  THE DEAD END was just as bad as it sounded. If not worse. Vivian was wishing she’d allowed Reece to come with her because the moment she stepped into the dive on the wrong side of the tracks she regretted the fact that she was alone.

  She kept close to the bar and tried not to draw attention to herself. It didn’t take her long to find her father. He was on stage singing one of Ray Castille’s songs. Still, after all this time, chasing something that wasn’t his. Something that he would never have.

  It cut her to the quick and brought back so many unwelcome memories. Of all the times when she was young and spending time in dives just like this, clutching her mother’s hand and watching her father through a smoke-filled haze.