Kaiju for Dummies

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Kaiju for Dummies Page 12

by Nicholas Knight


  Dr. Warden shrugs. “You’ve discovered a feature of the game that we weren’t ready to unveil yet. Congratulations, that’s actually more of an accomplishment than you might think.”

  Sure, it is. He still hasn’t answered my question. “What is it I discovered?”

  “You’ve got a lot more questions this time around,” he says, chuckling. Chuckling. Like he finds me amusing.

  Taisaur falls to all fours, forelimbs bracing against the ground to either side of Dr. Warden, bringing his head only yards away. Taisaur opens is jaws and bellows a roar that sets the man’s tweed coat and curly beard fluttering. It’s the kind of thing that would have made me piss myself.

  Dr. Warden smiles up at Taisaur and says, “Good boy.”

  Taisaur raises a clawed hand, getting ready to swat the obnoxious man like an overfed mosquito.

  “Wait!” I call out and Taisaur halts. He’s listening to me. I can feel a kind of resistance from him, like a palpable force between us. He wants to destroy Dr. Warden as badly as I do. The only thing holding him back is me.

  “That’s right,” Dr. Warden says, looking down from Taisaur to once again meet my gaze. “You’ve grown a little bit wiser. Finally. Our game seems to be helping you.”

  “Helping me?” I scoff. “How can you stand there and say that?”

  “You really do have a lot of questions this time,” Dr. Warden says, clapping his hands before him and rubbing his palms together like a man about to dig into a feast. “Is that what you want, Mr. Moretti? Answers?”

  “What I want is for you to fix everything that you broke!” I scream. “I want those people who died to come back. I want those people who are sick because of your fucking kaiju to get better. But I’ll settle for some Goddamn answers from you for now.”

  His face falls. “Not even the Game Masters have the power to bring people back from the dead.”

  I’m about to let go my tenuous mental hold on Taisaur and let the kaiju turn the psychiatrist into red paste when he continues, brightening up.

  “But we can offer you a cure to the illness Plague Doctor left on your world.”

  Something about the way he says that has my head reeling. Your world. Not our world.

  “You’re not human, are you?” Then the first part of what he says hits me. “You can cure everyone?”

  “You’re going to give me whiplash, Mr. Moretti,” he says with that same obnoxiously level state of calm. His lack of fear pisses me off. He should be quaking before me right now, his knees giving out, begging for mercy. Instead he’s acting like a frustrated school teacher with a problem child that just won’t be rational. “I can only offer you one. Answers or the cure. Which do you prefer?”

  “The cure,” I say without hesitation.

  As much as I want to know more there are lives in the balance. Plenty of people have already died but there’s plenty still who haven’t yet. I have to prioritize saving them above solving whatever nebulous mystery the Game Masters have woven. Also, I’ve got no way of knowing whether or not he’ll tell me the truth. The cure on the other hand is a very tangible result.

  It won’t be that easy though. He wants something in exchange for the cure. Now I just have to figure out what and hope that it is a cost I can afford to pay. “What’s the catch?”

  “There is no catch,” he says. “There is, however, a quest.”

  I stare at him in disbelief for a moment. “What the fuck is wrong with you? A quest? Like in a fucking videogame?”

  My hold on Taisaur slips and the kaiju slams his hand down. When he pulls it back up with an eardrum-bursting roar, Dr. Warden is still standing there, completely unaffected. It’s like the giant hand went right through him. Or maybe, like he went through the giant hand.

  That’s all weird and confusing but I’m on a roll. “Our lives are not yours to just play with!”

  Taisaur slams his hand down again to no different results. So he slams down with his other hand. When that doesn’t work he pulls back onto his feet, spins around, and slams his tail down onto Dr. Warden. The fat man doesn’t look like so much as a whisker of his curly beard has been disturbed.

  “Are you quite finished?” he asks.

  I’m panting. Why am I panting? It’s Taisaur that’s been doing all the work.

  “You ask what is wrong with me?” he asks, and for the first time since I’ve met him he looks genuinely mad. His face reddens. His eyes narrow. “I ask what is wrong with you? You, Aaron Moretti, have been handed the power to create real change in your world and what have you done with it?” He lifts a hand up to indicate Taisaur. “Weak and pathetic. You’ve squandered it. Buried it away and let it atrophy, leaving the power to others.

  “You ask if this is a game to me? I tell you that life is a game. A game in which there are players and there are pawns. You do not have the right to be mad that you have been made a pawn because you refuse to be a player. The opportunity to be more is within your grasp and you spurn it. Keep your petty fury to yourself.”

  There is silence in the wake of his outburst. Not even Taisaur makes a sound.

  Dr. Warden comes to slowly, unnecessarily straightening his tweed coat while the color recedes from his face. “Will you accept the quest in exchange for the cure, Mr. Moretti?” There’s a ragged quality to his words now. He’s not quite as unflappable as I had thought. Good.

  I think over his question. A quest in exchange for the cure. Hundreds, thousands, maybe millions of lives saved by doing what the Game Master’s ask. I know that they deliver. The question is, is what they will ask of me so horrible that I can afford to accept it?

  Then I think about the horror Plague Doctor brought to Vegas. People melting, being stabbed by poisonous floating needles, the entire city wrapped in webs and everybody sick and dying. They’ll ask me to go after something in Weroik, the alien’s world, because that’s what their missions or quests always have us players do. And right now, hurting those alien bastards actually sounds like a really good idea. Lusitania has been pushing for us to go on the offensive and end them before they can end us since Titanocobra first showed up.

  “I’ll take your quest.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

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  Before I can go off questing like an idiot, I need to spend some time looking over Taisaur and his stats. Weird doesn’t begin to cover it looking at him now in the KAIJU menu, knowing that just a few moments ago I was standing at this behemoth’s feet staring up at him. Putting him back into this context…it almost seems to diminish him. Breaking him down into component pieces, like a car brought in for a tune up. I’m going under his hood here and he’s no longer a powerful beast of unlimited power and wrath. He’s just my videogame avatar.

  As if sensing my thoughts Taisaur flicks and ear and tosses his head. I swear he shoots me an angry glare. If Dr. Warden’s eyes are cold and cutting, then Taisaur’s gaze is the opposite, full of fire and enough blunt force to club a horse to death with. It’s overwhelming, crushing, even.

  I have to wonder, not for the first time, just how self-aware Taisaur is. I would have simply said previously that he was just another part of me but is he really? There’s undoubtedly a connection between us, but is the connection between car and driver or is it something more? That he exists apart from me now seems evident. I mean, we were both awake and aware at the same time back there with Dr. Warden. Weren’t we?

  It’s hard to say how much of anything is real where the game and the Game Masters are concerned. Best to assume everything is real. After all, the aliens turned out to be. That tubby bastard might still consider this a game but he’s an evil shitbag. I have no idea what I’m going to do about him.

  Taisaur’s tail thrashes. The kaiju isn’t just agitated. He’s irritated. With me?

  I’ve neglected him, I realize. Can you neglect a part of yourself? I guess so. I don’t even know what hi
s stats are anymore. We hit level fifteen right before our fight with Titanocobra, which is probably the only reason we were able to pull through that fight. The Burning Aurora was a game changer.

  My attention flits over to the window where that ability is listed and then stays there. Burning Aurora isn’t alone in the window anymore. There’s a new ability below it. It’s called Burst Mode. When the hell did I get this?

  My focus must trigger something with the AI because it cheerfully says, Burst Mode was awarded to you early for your discovery of as of yet undisclosed content.

  Like what?

  The AI doesn’t respond. What the hell? Normally I can’t get the little help-bot to shut up. Now when I actually want its stupidly happy voice in my head it decides to go quiet? Typical.

  My apologies, Mr. Moretti, the AI says, not sounding the least bit sorry. I am not allowed to disclose that information yet.

  Terrific. What the hell is Burst Mode supposed to do?

  The AI doesn’t answer. Oh, come on!

  Okay, it’s a “mode” so supposedly that means Taisaur will enter into some kind of upgraded state. I notice that as I focus on the ability, Taisaur’s HP stat seems to get highlighted. Interesting. So, it has something to do with his HP then.

  I turn my attention more fully to his stats.

  HP 41

  Attack 37

  Defense 29

  Special Attack 17

  Special Defense 39

  Speed 30

  These have been pretty much on autopilot since I started, only they don’t quite seem right now. I glance up at Taisaur’s level. He’s level seventeen now. All that stuff, getting to earth and fighting Titanocobra, has leveled him up twice. So his abilities should be a little bit higher, unless I miss my guess. In fact, I think those might be the exact same stats that he had at level fifteen. What is going on?

  Your kaiju’s statistics are no longer automated beyond level fifteen, the AI says. From here on you may choose how to allocate the points acquired from leveling up. Alternatively, you may set a customized point allocation to automatically occur each time you level up.

  I guess Kaiju Wars operates like some of those MMORPGs where you don’t have a class for the first few levels so that you get a feel for the game before committing to a certain playstyle. That actually makes a kind of sense here, though the idea of actually having to stop and choose my stats instead of just keeping on playing sounds irritating. I wonder if I can talk the AI into disclosing my previous algorithms and keep on something akin to the game’s automated training wheels?

  My stomach drops out. Or I experience the sensation of my stomach dropping out because now that I’m more aware it seems that I don’t actually have a body right now. I can’t think on that though because of the thought bomb that just detonated in my brain.

  Those MMO games where the first few levels are automated; those levels are only ever a tiny fraction of the overall level a player can reach. They’re strictly for the beginners and left behind very quickly in the game. I’d thought hitting level fifteen was a huge benchmark, a milestone because I was finally reaching the upper levels. What if I haven’t though, and instead what’s really happened is I’ve just been freed of the newbie ground?

  Just how high can our kaiju level up to? Is there a limit? What about their size? Every time Taisaur’s leveled up he’s put on about ten feet of height and grown proportionately in mass. That’s harder to track but I know that that amount is not insubstantial. Both Megaptera and Xenatlas were freaking huge at last look, so the growth doesn’t stop past level fifteen.

  What about the alien kaiju? Megaptera was big and Xenatlas is fucking huge, but Titanocobra and Plague Doctor, they’re on another scale altogether. What if they’re size is just because they’ve leveled up to stupidly high levels? No, that doesn’t quite make sense. The alien kaiju don’t seem to follow the same videogame rules as ours.

  Is it possible though that the player kaiju, like Halira and Taisaur, can get as big as them? How creatures that big could exist on earth is mind boggling. That begs another question though. How the hell were the other players getting their kaiju to earth?

  The ability to summon your kaiju to earth can be purchased for two points, Mr. Moretti, the AI supplies cheerfully.

  If I had eyes I’d blink. Two points. That’s it? That seems…well, how many points to I have remaining?

  You get eight points to spend per level from here onward, the AI says. You currently have sixteen points at your disposal.

  Sixteen points. And it only cost two to bring Taisaur to earth? Holy shit, for that low a cost every player who passed level fifteen would be bringing their kaiju to earth. How many players had Dr. Warden said were in the closed beta? Over a hundred, I think. Fuck me.

  I don’t think I can comply with that command, the AI says. Is that a trace of sadness in its voice?

  I do not like not being able to comply with your requests, Mr. Moretti, the AI says, back to being cheerful. My purpose is to help you in any way I can.

  It has things it doesn’t like? Damn. The machine uprising’s got to be just around the corner.

  I’m wasting time. I need to allocate those points and get this stupid quest started. Do I have a cap on the amount of points I can spend on any one stat?

  No caps, Mr. Moretti. The previous algorithm would only allow a certain allocation to any given stat, but from this point on, you decide what Taisaur’s stats are.

  Sixteen points. Gamer logic one-oh-one, it’s better to spend your points, or whatever it is you’re using to determine your abilities, focusing on making yourself better at what you’re already good at rather than spreading yourself out too thin. Taisaur seems pretty well rounded, save for that Special Attack state, which I’m pretty sure is as low as the game will let it be. And considering the amount of time I spend in melee, maybe I should make his defense higher?

  I sigh. Speed too could use a boost, especially with this quest. I need to be able to move fast. And I don’t have time to sit around debating all of this.

  I allocate eight points to speed. As much as I would like to shore up Taisaur’s defense, now probably isn’t the time to experiment with that. I should hold the course and focus on what he’s already good at. That would be his HP, special defense, and attack. I’ve got the Burning Aurora now, and in a way, I guess I play like my HP is my defense. I take lots and lots of hits and keep on trucking.

  That really sucks now that I can actually feel all of those hits.

  I almost dump four into each but I restrain myself. For two points I can bring Taisaur to earth. Would that be worth it or just dangerous? Can I hold onto points instead of spending them all at once?

  There is no need to spend your points all at once, Mr. Moretti, the AI supplies eagerly. You may hold onto them for as long as you like.

  Okay, that decides it. I put three points into HP and attack, holding two back. Just in case.

  Taisaur’s stats now read:

  Taisaur

  Level 17

  HP 44

  Attack 41

  Defense 29

  Special Attack 17

  Special Defense 39

  Speed 38

  And I’ve got both the Burning Aurora and Burst Mode now. Guess I’m all set. Let’s go finish us a quest.

  Taisaur throws his head back and roars in agreement. Then we’re off.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  ⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎

  Weroik is pretty much as I remember it. Only not and at the same time more so. One of the things that stood out to me during the closed beta was the fact that we were never sent to the same level twice. In hindsight it seems pretty obvious that this was because there was no “level” to go back to.

  Only this time I am back in a city I’ve been to before. It’s the same one where I first played as Taisaur and met Xenatlas for the first time. There’d
been a stupidly huge level gap between us and I’d thought he was the level boss. We’d ended up teaming up and leveling the city all but flat.

  It’s still all but flat. There are a few smoking skeletons that used to be buildings but not much else. I honestly don’t know how I recognize it at all. Maybe it has something to do with the smells, sounds, and even taste or physical feel of the place. My senses are dialed up to eleven in a way that I’ve never experienced in the game with Taisaur. It’s like when I brought him to Dallas, which is to say, disorienting.

  I can smell the burned earth and metal scaffolding that remains. The smell of burnt out engines and urban decay. There are people nearby, screaming and running, and reeking of unwashed fear. These are the refugees, the survivors of our attack who never left the city. Some part of my brain recognizes that beneath the stink is something that smells absolutely delicious. Like the world best pork. My mouth salivates and my stomach rumbles.

  I shake myself, realizing exactly what it is I’m reacting to. Or what Taisaur’s reacting to. Honestly, I don’t know where the barrier between us is any more. At least I know that there is a distinction between us after our encounter with Dr. Warden.

  Welcome back, Mr. Moretti, the AI says cheerfully. Are you ready to start your quest?

  Sure, I say, the words coming out from Taisaur in a rumbling snarl. Let’s get this over with.

  The first part of your mission is to acquire an Eznacian egg, it says. A marker will appear to lead you to it. You must harvest the egg and logout with it.

  First part? That doesn’t bode well. What bodes even worse is that the fate of the world hinges on the success of a freaking fetch quest. Of all the things the Game Masters could have thrown my way they decided on the most freaking generic option of the MMORPG? Screw them and their shitty taste in games.

  All right then, I bellow, pausing after to watch the reactions of the smelly alien people. They’re in rags, cowering beneath me. It strikes me that what I’ve done to this city is maybe less different than what Plague Doctor’s done to Las Vegas than I first thought.

 

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