by Harlow James
“No judgment from me,” Principal North replies with a wink. “I think we can all understand Mr. Kirk’s choice. But I am happy to report we have found a replacement for him. Our new teacher will start on Monday, so please help her feel welcome. She has big shoes to fill, but she came highly recommended and knows her stuff.”
“A woman, huh?” Drew whispers in my ear, causing me to glare at him in wonder.
“Why does that matter?” I growl.
“Easy tiger. I wasn’t insinuating anything. It’s just not very often you hear of a woman teaching math. But maybe this one can end up being your Tammy.”
“My Tammy?”
“In case you’ve forgotten, my wife was hired here and that’s how I met her. Marrying a teacher is the best man. You both get the same time off, you understand what the job is like… it’s the perfect relationship for men like us.”
“That’s pretty sexist, Drew, even coming from you. A woman who can teach math shouldn’t be looked at differently. In fact, that’s pretty hot. But sorry to burst your bubble, I’m not looking for a happily ever after. Knowing my luck anyway, she’s probably in her fifties or something,” I chide while Principal North drones on about the tardy policy.
I swear, with the way these kids are late to class, I wonder how any of them will ever hold down a job.
Drew holds his hands up in the air in defense. “Just sharing my thoughts. Although it seems to me like you could use the company of a woman right now. You’re more surly than normal.”
“I get plenty of company from women when I want it. And I’m not being any more of an asshole than normal, just tired,” I grumble under my breath, knowing damn well that a wet and willing woman would be enough to snap me out of my funk.
It’s been almost a year though since I’ve had the company of a woman in my bed. After Natasha wrecked our future, I sowed my wild oats for a while since she had been the only woman I’d ever been with. It got old really fast, so I called it quits and have only enjoyed the company of my hand for months now.
“The next item is the big rivalry game against Ashland High School next week,” Principal North continues. “This is the biggest game of the year and we get to host. I would appreciate a few of you stepping up to help with taking tickets and just being present in the stands. Security will do the dirty work, but the more eyes we have in the stadium, the better things run. And of course, the kids loving seeing the teachers there.”
The rivalry between Emerson Falls and Ashland High has been a long-standing one for over thirty years. I grew up in northern Oregon, so I was uneducated on the tradition, but the Emerson-Ashland rivalry has always been a brutal game and both towns take the competition very seriously.
“You’re gonna be down on the field with us during that game, right?” Drew pulls my attention back to him while I survey the room. The soldier in me never stops observing my surroundings.
“Yeah, no problem. I can help in any way you need.”
“Thanks. It helps to have another guy down there to keep the boys level-headed. Cory and Holt wanted me to remind you about it anyway, so now I’ve completed my job,” he winks at me just as we hear Principal North end the meeting.
Corey Tanner and Holt Bennet are a P.E. teacher and athletic trainer respectively for the school, and two of the other men I’ve made friends with over the past few years. Drew, Corey and Holt coach the football team together, and I’ll chip in sometimes when needed but couldn’t commit to the team entirely. After one bad case of PTSD during a practice where the sound of the helmets hitting snapped me back to an IED going off in Afghanistan and I froze on the field, I realized coaching probably wasn’t a good idea. I’m hoping one day that won’t be the case anymore.
“Have a good weekend everyone! See you back here on Monday!” Principal North shouts over the noise of teachers making a mad dash for the parking lot.
“You going to Tony’s tonight?” Drew asks as we grab our stuff and head for our trucks.
“Probably. Lord knows I’ve earned it after this week. It was a full moon and the kids were just more ornery than normal,” I say while stroking my hand through my jet black hair and down the beard I’m obnoxiously proud of. After keeping a clean-shaven face in the Army for eight years, I was itching to grow a beard. So I did, and it looks damn good if I say so myself.
“Wish I could join you, but after the game, I’m headed home to pass out,” Drew says through a laugh and I wish him luck before we both settle in our trucks and peel out of the parking lot.
Tony’s bar is the local hangout for the working class. The younger crowd hangs out at Half Full, a hipster bar on the other side of town. Tony’s is known for an older crowd who know how to keep to themselves and behave, which is fine by me since I don’t really have much to say to anyone nowadays.
After I moved from my hometown to Emerson Falls and bought my house secluded in the thick forest on the outskirts of town, a trip to Tony’s was the only interaction I allowed myself to unwind after a long week of teaching. Tony, the owner, became a close confidant I didn’t know I needed, especially since he served in the Army as well. So most weeks, I take a trip to the bar, have a couple of beers with Tony, and then call it a night, retreating to my life of solitude that I’ve become accustomed to.
But if someone would have told me how my night would end when I made my way into Tony’s later that evening, I would have laughed in their face and bet them a hundred bucks that it never would happen. Because there was no way that some woman would knock me on my ass and give me the best sex of my life. No way.
Good thing I never placed any bets against anyone else, because losing a bet to her took my evening in an entirely different direction.
Chapter 3
Olivia
“Well, I think that’s the last one,” Clara exclaims as she sets the last box on my dining room table.
“Finally. I love you, Liv, but this moving thing is for the birds.” Perry slides up next to her, slinging her arm around Clara’s neck.
I sigh before turning around to face my friends. “I know, but you have no idea how much I appreciate your help. Believe me, if you asked me last week what I thought I’d be doing on Friday, I definitely wouldn’t have described this,” I gesture around my new apartment with my hands in the air.
Looking around the two-bedroom place, I’m hit with my new reality for the first time since I left northern California last week. Moving back to Emerson Falls was not on the agenda of my life. Of course, neither was catching my boyfriend fucking his secretary either.
My heels click on the cobblestone floor that stretches throughout the entire winery, the mustard yellow walls and maroon accents surrounding me. The smell of oak and berries wafts up my nose as I inhale deeply, savoring the aromas only a true wine lover would appreciate.
Trevor said he would be working late trying to complete an order for next week. They have several tours coming through and wanted to make sure enough of their wine was bottled and the shelves in the gift shop were stacked and ready for purchases. So as I hoist the picnic basket in my hand and make my way down to his office, I beam with pride that I took the initiative to surprise him with dinner so we could spend some time together. He’d been working late a lot lately and I missed him terribly.
I approach his door and notice it’s slightly cracked open instead of closed as he’ll normally keep it. He probably left to use the bathroom which would make my surprise even more worthwhile when he returned and I could see the expression on his face when he found me in his office. The sexy bra and panty set I wore underneath my dress would give me an even bigger pay-off as well.
Suddenly, heavy breathing and moaning fill my ears as I slowly push open the door and am granted with the vision of Trevor’s bare ass thrusting into a woman who’s heels I instantly recognize because I complimented them just last week.
I struggle to stay upright and not drop the basket from my shock, but the longer I stare without them aware that I’m watchin
g, the more uncomfortable and emotional I become. I contemplate saying something, but then decide against it.
I knew in my gut something wasn’t right between us. I’d been choosing to ignore the signs.
The lack of sex.
His need to work late lately.
The over-enthusiastic greetings I would get from his secretary every time I’d see her.
The last thing I wanted was for them to see the look of shock and disgust on my face, the confirmation that what they’ve done behind my back has affected me at all.
Fuck that. No one gets that satisfaction.
Instead, I quietly return the door to the cracked position I found it in, turn on my heels, and make my way back to my car.
Tears fall the moment I sit in the driver’s seat. But they’re not so much tears of sadness, but more of anger and regret, regret that I’ve spent almost the last entire year of my life with a man who couldn’t see what he had in front of him.
I’m a catch, a well-educated woman who takes care of her body, a woman who loved him with every fiber of my being and chose him over any other man.
Fuck this. I’m done.
I race home and find as many bags and empty suitcases that I can find in our townhouse. I shove clothing and dishes, movies and mementos from home, and anything else I can’t live without into my car, and take off for the highway, never looking back.
“Mom,” I choke through my tears when she picks up the phone.
“Baby, what is it? You never call this late,” she whispers, making me think I woke her or Dad is sleeping there next to her.
“I’m on my way home,” I say as I wipe the moisture from my face and merge onto the freeway.
“Okay…” She trails off, not sure of what I’m saying.
“Trevor and I are done. I caught him cheating on me. So I’m coming home… for good.”
“Oh, Olivia. I’m so sorry, honey. Did you kick him in the balls before you left?”
That response earns her a chuckle through my cries, but sadly, the moment doesn’t last too long.
“No, I didn’t even let him know I saw.”
“What? Why? I thought I taught you better than that, Olivia Jane. Always stand up for yourself!” The volume of her voice tells me she must have moved to another part of the house.
“I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I’m hurt. I just wanted out of there. I rushed home and packed up my stuff and started driving.”
My mother lets out a long breath. “Okay, well, how long will you be?”
I glance down at my phone on the dash of the car. “GPS says I’ll be there around one in the morning. I’m sorry, Mom. I just…”
“Don’t you dare apologize, Liv. You know you can always come home any time you want. In fact, I just heard that Mr. Kirk retired from the high school. Maybe you should apply? Hell, the timing of this couldn’t be more perfect.”
Shit. My teaching job. I just up and left without thinking twice. I guess I have a phone call to make in the morning. A sudden family emergency sounds like a legitimate excuse to leave my job without notice. I will miss my students though. Now the guilt of leaving my kids settles in my stomach along with the nausea and hurt.
“Mr. Kirk? The math teacher who was MY teacher when I went there?”
“Yeah. Word on the street is that he won the lottery and gave his notice. Can’t blame the man. He’s put in his time.”
I laugh, the first genuine laugh I’ve felt in a while. “Yeah, I can’t say I blame him either. Well then, I guess I’ll call the school first thing in the morning.”
“Liv...”
“Yeah, Mom,” I clam up again, feeling the next wave of emotion come over me.
“I love you, baby. It’s going to be alright.”
I sniffle and wipe the snot from my nose with the back of my hand. I’m just all kinds of classy right now.
“I know, Mom. I love you too. I’ll see you in a few hours.”
“I’ll be waiting for you.”
I hang up the phone and search for the nearest gas station to stop off for coffee. I have a five-hour drive ahead of me and I’ll need all the caffeine I can get.
My contacts stick to my eyes from the tears that keep falling, so I flip down the visor to extract them, then dig my glasses out of my purse. I glance in the mirror to wipe the mascara stains from my cheeks, blow my nose into a napkin I found in my glove box, and exit the car in search of caffeine and hopefully, some direction in my life.
I feel like I over-reacted, leaving my entire life behind in a matter of an hour, the life I’ve spent the last nine years building. Northern California was my home, the place I went to college, established my career, and where I ultimately thought I would build roots and start my family. But after seeing Trevor wrecking everything we’d spent the last year building, the last place I wanted to be was there.
I guess it looks like Emerson Falls is calling my name again—my real home, the place I was raised in and grew up wanting to leave so badly. Hopefully, when I arrive, I’ll feel some sense that this was the right thing to do.
“Hey, baby,” my mom glides through the door with bags of groceries, pulling me from my memory of last week.
“Hi, Mom. Here, let me help you,” I offer while reaching out to relieve her of a few bags.
“Clara. Perry. So good to see you girls again.” My mom smiles at two of my best friends. Getting to see these women more often is one of the few positive things to occur from my new circumstances.
“You too, Mrs. Walsh,” Perry greets my mom with a hug, followed by Clara.
“We hate to run, but I’ve got to get back to my office for a conference call, and Perry has to go pick up her kids from school. But we’ll see you and Amy at the bar later tonight, right?” Clara explains as they both go to gather their purses. Amy, the fourth leg of our pack, couldn’t help this afternoon since her husband wasn’t home and all of her kids aren’t in school yet. But I know she’ll be joining us for drinks later, more than eager for some adult interaction.
“Yes. I’ll meet you there. I hope their tequila is stocked because I’m in the mood to forget everything right now.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll help you forget that asshole,” Clara confirms before kissing me on the cheek and following Perry out of my front door with a wave.
“It sure is nice to see those girls again. I can’t believe how grown-up you all are now,” my mom declares while starting to unload the food she bought for me. Even as a thirty-one-year-old woman, my mom still feels the innate need to take care of me.
I watch her move gracefully around my kitchen, stocking the cupboards and organizing fruits and vegetables on the shelves of my fridge. Her dark hair has streaks of grey in it and the lines around her eyes have become deeper since I’d seen her last. My parents are getting older and getting more time with them now that I’m home is something I can’t complain about.
“Yup. Everyone’s grown up and married and having children, and I’m running away from a man that couldn’t keep his dick in his pants,” I say sarcastically as I help my mom with the last few items to be put away.
“Liv, there’s nothing wrong with where you’re at in your life right now. In fact, I’m glad things didn’t work out with Trevor.”
“Really?” I question since this is the first time I’ve heard her speak negatively about him.
She nods in confirmation. “Yes. I didn’t want to say anything while you were together because I trust you and know that if things progressed with you two, I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable about how your father and I truly felt about him. But deep down we kind of felt that something was off there.”
I feel the tears threaten to rise again for the umpteenth time in the last week. My lips start to tremble while I fight for control, but ultimately the drops fall as I sag down onto a stool at my kitchen counter.
“Liv,” my mom soothes me with her soft voice as she comes around the cabinets and wraps her arms around m
e. “Why are you crying?”
I sniffle and gain some composure before spilling my thoughts. “Because I’m mad at myself, Mom. I knew there was something off too, but I didn’t listen to my gut like you’ve always taught me to do. I guess… I guess I wanted so badly to believe that it was all in my head, that the time I had invested in our relationship was worth trying to overcome the doubt I felt. But then when I saw him fucking her… I wasn’t even angry with him… well, that’s not true. I was and still am pissed at him. But I’m more angry with myself.”
“Liv, you are human, baby. You’re going to make mistakes…”
My tears are pouring now, emptying my sorrow and relinquishing the blame I’ve put on myself since that night. “I hate feeling like I failed, Mom. I mean, I tend to excel in everything else I do in life! I graduated at the top of my class in both high school and college. I kick ass at my job and have built a reputation as a strong teacher. I’m confident and work hard for everything I’ve ever achieved. I’m strong-willed and not afraid to stand up for myself. So why can’t I succeed in love? Why am I thirty-one and still single? And why have I let a man’s actions affect me this much?”
My mother wipes tears from my cheeks and brushes my deep red hair off of my face, staring down into my eyes in the way only a mother can. Her gaze offers me acceptance as I list my faults to the only person I know who won’t judge me. I know I could vent to my friends, but they expect me to be the same Olivia I’ve always been… collected and focused, and definitely not one to cry over a man.
But here, right now—I don’t feel like that Olivia. I feel like a woman whose fears are weighing on me. I feel like this unrealistic pressure I put on myself is making me crumble and shatter.
“Baby, this pain you feel right now is only momentary. This heartbreak you’re feeling right now may have saved you from years of self-doubt and betrayal. Be grateful for the lesson that jerk has given you and move on with your life. He was a weed infiltrating your mind and heart. Rip him out and let the flowers continue to grow. You are a beautiful, intelligent, and generous woman who will find a man that cherishes you one day. Believe me—when you find that man, you’ll want to get it right with him.”
