I gave the shirt another worried glance. "Technically, I still owe you for the stuff I borrowed at your house."
"No," he said. "You don't. Keep it, just like I said."
He had said that, but it still felt strange. Even the shirt I was wearing now, I didn't even know who it belonged to. I mean, it obviously wasn't his, so whose was it?
I didn't know, and probably I didn't want to know.
But I still felt funny about it. What if I ran into this person? Would they accuse me of swiping their clothes?
Oh, God. What if the shirt belonged to Morgan? I could only imagine what she'd say – or do.
It would be a flat-out spectacle. And how humiliating would that be? It was almost enough to make me want to rip off the shirt and torch it before any such thing could happen.
Right. Because nothing says, "I hate spectacles" like ripping off your clothes and burning them in the hallway.
Jax said, "What is it?"
I blinked. "Sorry, what?"
He frowned. "Something's wrong."
"No. Not really." Again, I looked to the shirt. "It's just that, well, I'm kind of curious…whose shirt is this?"
"Yours, just like I said."
"C'mon, you know what I mean." I bit my lip. "It's not Morgan's, is it?"
He looked at me for a long moment. "You think I'd give you her clothes?"
"Well, you gave me somebody's clothes." I forced a laugh. "Unless you got them from Goodwill or something, somebody's missing them."
I reached up to rub my temples. What on Earth was wrong with me? It was one stupid shirt. Why was I obsessing over it, when I had a whole bunch of shirts on just the other side of that door?
I still hadn't answered his question. "About your offer," I said, "that's really nice of you, but I can't let you do that."
"Why not?"
"Because you've done too much already." Again, I looked toward the door. "And besides, I'm sure I'll get my stuff eventually."
"Any chance you'll change your mind?"
I shook my head. I hadn't been lying. As wonderful as his offer was, that wasn't me. That was my mom, and I refused to follow in her dangerous footsteps.
"Alright," Jax said. "Then lemme ask you…you wanna wait in the van? Or come with me?"
"What do you mean?" I asked. "Where are you going?"
He pointed to my mom's door. "Into the apartment."
"But it's locked."
"Yeah, but not for long."
Chapter 44
Twenty minutes later, we were already in and out.
I'd even changed my shirt, swapping out the borrowed one for a shirt of my own. Was it silly? Probably. But I didn't care. For the first time in weeks, I was wearing my own clothes, and I had the rest of my things within easy reach.
Best of all, I had Jax in the driver's seat, pulling away from the curb all casual-like, as if we hadn't just done the unthinkable, for me, anyway.
During the last twenty minutes, I'd been incredibly tense, looking over my shoulder non-stop as Jax and I worked to gather up my things.
It went a lot faster than I might've expected, mostly because Jax had stocked the van with a nice supply of moving boxes, along with rolls of packing tape, too.
I had to give him credit. He'd thought of everything.
In hindsight, even his choice of vehicles had been pure perfection. No one had given us a second glance, even as we made several trips back and forth while loading up the stuff.
And now that we were finished, I almost felt like laughing. "I can't believe we broke in."
"We didn't break in." He smiled as he pulled into traffic. "You had a key, remember?"
"Well, yeah. But I didn't have it on me."
"But you do now, right?"
Yes. I did. But only because Jax had insisted. If I'd been alone, I probably would've left the key where I'd originally left it – atop the nightstand in my mom's spare bedroom.
I couldn't even call it my bedroom, considering that I'd slept there for barely a week.
In answer to Jax's question, I raised the key out in front of me and twisted the keyring around my finger. "Yeah, I've got it, but I doubt I'll be needing it. I mean, it's not like I'll ever be living there again."
"Good." His voice hardened. "And if you change your mind, let me know."
"Why?"
"So I can talk you out of it."
Funny, he didn't look like much "talking" would be involved. Mostly, he looked like he'd tie me to a chair if I ever suggested such a thing – not that I would after this latest fiasco.
Still, I had to ask, "So then why would I need a key?"
At the next stoplight, he turned and gave me a serious look. "The key's how you got in."
Serious or not, I couldn’t help but tease, "Oh really? So you didn't pick the lock?"
"Me? Hell no." He gave me the ghost of a smile. "I’m an angel."
He was obviously joking, but I couldn’t ignore the truth of his words. He might not realize it, but during the last few weeks, he'd been my own personal guardian angel, coming to my rescue just when I needed him most.
And he was still doing it.
As the light turned green, he added, "And remember, don't delete the texts."
I knew which texts he meant. He was referring to the texts between me and my mom, where she'd informed me of the day and time I could pick up my things.
I saw his logic. Combined with the key, those messages would make it doubly hard for my mom to cause trouble. Still, I doubted that she would. "Honestly," I said, "I don't think it matters. Probably, she'll just be glad to have the bedroom back."
He gave me a sideways glance. "No. What she'll be is ticked off that the stuff's gone."
"What makes you say that?"
"She was giving you the runaround, right?"
"A little," I admitted.
"A little, huh?"
"Oh, alright. A lot."
"Right. And you wanna know why?"
"Why?"
"Because your things were the bait."
I wasn't following. "The bait?"
"Yeah." He frowned. "To lure you back."
I hated that he was frowning. For one thing, I didn't anticipate my mom "luring" me anywhere. And for another, our trip had been a raging success, all thanks to him.
I was happy. And I wanted him to be happy, too.
Looking to lighten his mood, I said with a laugh, "Oh sure, because I'm such a juicy catch."
When he gave me an inscrutable glance, I suddenly realized how ridiculous that sounded. Juicy? Seriously?
Once again, I'd managed to say something incredibly absurd without thinking. I didn't normally do that, but with Jax, I found myself saying – and thinking – all kinds of crazy things.
Like right now, I was thinking how much simpler life would be if only he were just a regular guy – someone I met at the beach or maybe at work.
I gave him a long sideways look. He didn't look like a billionaire, not now, sitting behind the wheel of this beat-up van. Rather, in his plain T-shirt and ratty jeans, he looked like the sexiest working stiff I'd ever seen.
I almost sighed out loud. If only that were the case.
If only he moved boxes or swung a hammer for a living. Then, it wouldn’t be so hard to imagine us together, to dream that our friendship might blossom into something more, or to believe that he wasn't helping me out of pity or obligation.
But he wasn't just a regular guy, and I wasn't naïve.
Now, I did sigh. I was no pediatrician. Or professor. Hell, I wasn't even a college graduate, which meant that he was so far above me on a social scale, I'd need a ladder just to lick his boots.
I gave a little shudder. Lick his boots? At least, I hadn't said that out loud.
Trying to rein in my thoughts, I turned my head to gaze out through the passenger's side window. Outside, it was a beautiful sunny day with hours of daylight remaining.
In anticipation of today's errand, I'd taken the whole day off
work, which meant that I had hours of freedom ahead of me. I had no idea what I'd be doing, but I did know that I was in serious danger.
Of what?
Falling for my guardian angel.
Or maybe I already had.
Damn it.
I was still looking out the window when the truck slowed and pulled off to the side. Confused, I glanced around, but saw nothing of any particular interest – just average houses on an average residential street.
When I turned to give Jax a questioning look, he said, "I need a favor."
I summoned up a smile. "Sure."
He didn't smile back. "Don't say yes 'til you know what it is."
At this, I had to laugh. "It doesn't matter what it is. I'm pretty sure I owe you like a million favors after all you've done for me."
His jaw tightened. "Make that two favors."
I studied his face. For whatever reason, my comment had rubbed him the wrong way. Cautiously, I said, "Okay, what?"
"Favor one," he said. "I want you to forget I've done anything."
Chapter 45
I felt my brow wrinkle in new confusion. He wanted me to forget everything he'd done for me? Was he serious?
I said, "But why would I?" And then, I realized. "Oh. Are you worried you'll get in trouble, like for the lock thing?"
At this, he looked almost amused. "I'm not afraid of trouble."
Now that I could believe. Whether in a tux or T-shirt, the guy was absolutely fearless.
Still, I had to ask, "So what am I missing?"
"Nothing," he said. "I'm just saying you don't owe me. So forget it. That's the favor."
I gave him a dubious look. "That doesn't sound like much of a favor to me."
"Trust me, it is."
I wasn't so sure. "So what's the second favor?"
He smiled. "Say yes to the first, and I'll tell you."
Damn it. He was so devious that I couldn't resist smiling back. "Oh, so you're bribing me?"
"If that's what it takes."
I gave it some thought. "If I promise to try, does that count?"
He shook his head. "Sorry."
Funny, he didn't look sorry. He looked cool and determined.
"Oh come on," I said. "I can't control what I think. And besides, I really am thankful."
"Good," he said. "So do me the favor."
Talk about circular reasoning.
I protested, "But that doesn't make any sense. And besides, don't you think I'd be an awful person if I just forgot it all, like none of it mattered?"
"No," he said. "I think you'd be doing me a favor, just like I asked." His gaze met mine. "So say yes, and forget it."
I wanted to say yes. Really, I did. But it would be a lie.
Growing up, my mom had lied a lot – pretty little lies that made life easier in the short term and harder in the end. But me? I wasn't like that. I didn't want to be like that, especially with Jax, who was growing more important to me with every passing moment.
So I did the only thing I could do. I looked straight into his eyes and said exactly what I was thinking. "I could promise, but it wouldn't be true. I can't forget, and…" My voice grew quiet. "…I guess I can't help how I feel."
As I said it, I realized how accurate this was on multiple levels. After all, it wasn't just gratitude filling my heart. It was something else, something he'd never return in a million years.
But then, his voice grew quieter, too. "I know the feeling."
I wasn't quite sure what he meant, but there was something there, something in his tone, or maybe in his look – whatever it was, it made my heart give that familiar little flutter.
I asked, "What do you mean?"
He leaned a fraction closer. "Promise me, and I'll tell you that, too."
Oh. My. God. Now, I was dying to know what he'd say. "Really?"
His gaze dipped to my lips. "Really."
Feeling nearly breathless now, I joked, "Will you take a kidney instead?"
Slowly, he shook his head.
I gave him a hopeful smile. "Two kidneys?"
"Sorry." He smiled back. "I like your kidneys where they are."
"But you haven't even seen them."
"Remind me sometime. I'll take a look."
As we bantered back and forth, it wasn't lost on me that somehow, we were no longer discussing that strange favor. What we were discussing, I wasn't quite sure.
But I liked it.
I liked the look in his eyes and the fact that he was right here, almost within reach. Still, we could've been a whole lot closer, and I fought an impulsive urge to lean toward him and see what might happen.
Who knows? Maybe nothing would happen. Maybe I'd just look like an idiot. After all, he wasn't my boyfriend or even my date.
In reality, I wasn't quite sure what he was.
A friend? Definitely.
Something more? Possibly.
From the look in his eyes, it sure seemed that way. Desperate for clues, I said, "At least tell me this. Is the second favor any easier?"
His smile disappeared. "No."
And just like that, the spell was broken.
Damn it.
I studied his face. "So what is it? You might as well tell me, or I'll just drive you crazy asking."
"Alright." His gaze hardened. "When she calls, don't answer the phone."
"Who? My mom?" I almost laughed. "Don't worry. I doubt she'll be calling."
"Doubt all you want," he said, "but she will call, and probably sooner than you think."
"Seriously, I don't think you need to worry."
"Good," he said. "So promise me, alright?"
I didn't want to promise. I wasn't even sure I could. "Is that really the favor?"
"That's it," he said. "And if I only get one, that's the one I want."
As far as favors went, it was huge and tiny all at the same time. I blew out a nervous breath. "Wanna hear something funny? I've been living here for how long? A few weeks, right? Do you know, I haven't even seen her since the night you and I met?"
His expression didn't change. "Good."
Was it?
Yes.
And no.
I mumbled, "I dunno. I guess."
I looked toward the center console, where I'd placed my cellphone. In spite of what Jax might think, the odds of my mom calling – at least any time soon – were very slim.
I knew this from experience. Even back in high school, when I'd moved out for the very first time, she didn't call me for weeks even though I was technically a minor.
I'd been staying with a friend, but she didn't know that. Funny, she never even asked.
Hell, I could've been dead in a ditch for all she knew.
Still, I had to be honest. I looked back to Jax and said, "I can't promise to never talk to her. I mean, she is my mom."
He said nothing. But he didn't need to. His reply was written all over his face. Wrong answer.
I sighed. "Look, it's not like I want to be best buddies with her or anything. You want the truth? Sometimes, I'm not even sure that I like her, but…" I paused to collect my thoughts. "…she's the only family I have. Even Aunt Tabitha, she's not really my aunt."
"Good," he said for what felt like the millionth time.
I gave him a look. "You say that a lot."
"Only when I mean it."
That much was obvious. But I meant it, too, which totally sucked.
Today, he'd asked me for two favors, but I couldn't give him either one.
And whether foolish or not, I couldn't lie about them either, even though it would've been a ton easier – short-term, anyway – than sitting here, letting the silence fester between us.
I tried to smile. "I don't suppose you'll reconsider that kidney thing?"
He frowned. "No."
My heart sank. I wasn't really offering him a kidney, just like he wasn't really saying no to some impromptu organ donation.
Sadly, this "no" was bigger, and it felt like a door slamm
ing between us. I hated that, but not enough to change who I was.
I gave a hopeless shrug. "I guess it's settled then, huh?" I forced a weak little laugh. "No kidney for you."
With a slow shake of his head, he turned forward in his seat. He stared out in front of us, even though there was nothing interesting to see – just a basic road on a basic street.
I figured that would be it. That he'd just hit the gas, and we'd be on our way.
But then, he said something that made me pause. "How about half a favor?"
I hesitated. "What does that mean?"
"The favors – both of them – how about just for tonight?"
"You mean, like there's an expiration date or something?"
He was still looking ahead. "Right. Forget what you think you owe me – and forget that woman is your mom." His mouth tightened. "Which means no calls, no visits, nothing."
That didn't seem so hard. "Just for tonight?" I repeated.
Once again, he turned to face me. "If that's the best I can get."
A combination of relief and guilt coursed through me. In reality, his request was nearly nothing. Even the thing with my mom would require zero effort on my part, since the odds of her calling were slim to none.
I had to admit, "That's a pretty small favor."
"Good," he said yet again.
"Why is that good?"
"It means it'll be easy to keep, right?"
I nodded. "Yeah, sure. Probably, too easy in a way." I tried to think. "I guess I'll have to owe you something else, huh?"
Finally, he gave me a smile, a real smile. "Nah. Let's call it even."
My shoulders relaxed, and suddenly, I was smiling, too. "Next time, I'll try to be more reasonable."
Suddenly, he was looking intrigued. "Yeah?"
"Definitely."
"If I ask you to dinner, does that count?"
And just like that, the fluttery feeling was back. Still, I had to say, "But that's hardly a favor."
"Good to know." His gaze met mine. "So, you got any plans?"
"For when?"
"Tonight."
Chapter 46
I was still getting ready when my cellphone rang for the third time in ten minutes. At the sound of it, I literally cringed.
I knew the ring, and I wasn't happy to hear it, which is why I'd left the cellphone on the kitchen counter instead of bringing it with me into the bedroom as I considered what to wear.
One Good Crash Page 18
