by Jen McConnel
After two blissful weeks, I said good-bye to Sarah and Camie in Paris and boarded a night train to Berlin. The air outside the train station was cold and damp when I arrived, but the sky was clear. I looked around eagerly, but my heart fell when I realized that all I could see was the looming station.
I found a silver bench near the door where I could sit while I dug out my map, and I looked around. Even if the train station was the only thing in my view, it was more interesting than I’d expected. I was surprised at how different it already felt from the other places I’d been so far in Europe. The building looked like something out of an Ikea catalogue, and the people hurrying in and out were an interesting mix. I saw an old woman with a Mohawk talking excitedly with a young boy in a plaid shirt, and business travelers stepped carefully around a clump of confused-looking Asian tourists.
A group of people who might have been my age caught my eye. The girls were wearing leg warmers and pleather, and each of them had done something strange to her hair. One in particular had fuchsia and violet streaks in her hair, and I studied her with interest. She had her arm draped casually around another girl’s waist, and she looked totally at ease and sure of herself. The guys in the group looked more like skater boys than 80s throwbacks, and I noticed one of them with thick horn-rimmed glasses and short dark hair watching me. He was kind of cute, but then he turned to his friends and said something that made them all laugh, and I looked away, self-conscious. They weren’t close enough that I could hear what they said, even if I could have understood German, but something told me they were laughing at me. I buried my head in my guidebook, trying to ignore them and wishing I had Camie or Sarah with me. I hadn’t realized how much I’d gotten used to having traveling companions!
I heard the boy laugh again, and my head whipped around. He caught me looking at him, and to my horror, this time, he smiled. Slowly, as if he were exaggerating every movement, he winked.
Seriously? Had that guy actually winked at me? I looked back over my shoulder, trying to catch another glimpse of the hipster group, but the crowd outside the train station shifted, swallowing them up, and I shouldered my pack with a sigh and headed out into the city.
~
The hotel was as sterile and modern as the train station, but I didn’t care. After traveling around for two weeks, I’d gotten into my own rhythm, and I was itching to go exploring. But first, I knew I had to check in with my parents. The clerk at the desk wouldn’t give me my own key without Mom or Pops there to sign for it, so I hurried upstairs, determined to get that straightened out once and for all.
I knocked on their door, and before I knew it, Pops had opened it and was pulling me into a hug.
“There she is. How’re you liking Europe so far, kiddo?”
I grinned at him. “It’s awesome. I met a couple of girls, and we’ve been traveling together. They’re in Nice now, but we’re all going to meet back up again in Florence after the wedding.”
Pops’ smile slipped. “JoJo—”
Before he could say anything, Mom emerged from the bathroom. “My baby!” she gasped, crossing the room and wrapping me in a chokehold. “I’ve been so worried about you! Thank goodness you’re safe.”
I struggled to get loose. “Mom, what are you talking about?”
“There was a suicide bombing last night in Turkey, targeting Western tourists,” Pops broke in in his calm voice. “You’re mother’s been worried is all.”
“I can’t believe I let you go off on your own; anything could have happened!”
I rolled my eyes. “But Mom, I’m fine. And I wasn’t anywhere near Turkey.”
Instead of fussing some more like I’d expected, she narrowed her eyes and studied my nose. “Joelle Viviane Viegas, what is that thing on your face?”
Shit. I’d forgotten that she didn’t know about my nose piercing. I probably should have taken it out or something, but I hadn’t wanted it to close up, and now it was too late.
“I got it in Amsterdam,” I offered casually. “My friend Sarah wanted a tattoo, and I went with her to keep her company, and, well”— I cleared my throat—“I like it.”
Mom pressed her fingers to her forehead. “I’m going to lie down,” she announced, shooting me a dark look before she turned and headed through a door at the back of the suite.
I exhaled sharply and glanced at Pops. “What’s her problem?”
“She was worried about you.” He hesitated. “It might be a good idea for you to e-mail your friends and cancel your travel plans, JoJo. You’ll have plenty of time to explore Berlin with us, but after that, well, maybe it’s time to go home.”
I stared at him, surprised. “But you’re the one who said I should travel!”
He nodded. “I know, but your mom’s been a nervous wreck these past couple of weeks.”
I huffed. “Not my problem.”
“Be patient with her, kiddo. You know she loves you.”
I shrugged, too tired from my long train ride to check my mood, and a weak laugh escaped my lips. “I guess.” I picked up my shoulder bag and quickly checked the pockets for my passport and wallet. Slinging it across my body, I turned to the door. “I’ll be back in a bit, I guess.”
Pops looked like he wanted to argue, but finally he shrugged. “Don’t wander too far.”
“I won’t. I just want to look around.” I opened the door to the hallway and ran right into my brother. “Charlie!” I was too surprised to keep my voice down, and I heard Mom stirring in the next room. Swiftly, Charlie pulled me out into the hall and closed the door. I flung my arms around him, noticing how much older he looked with his hair buzzed. “What are you doing here?”
He hugged me back, but then he pulled me down the hall and around the corner. “I came to see you!”
I gestured back at the room. “Mom’s lying down, but don’t you want to talk to Pops?”
He shook his head. “I needed my ‘cup of Jo’ first.”
I punched his arm. “You can’t call me stupid things anymore. I’m too old for it.” Secretly, I was thrilled. He’d been so formal ever since he joined the army three years ago, and I’d been worried that he had outgrown me.
He grabbed my shoulders and rubbed the top of my head, giving me a pseudo-affectionate noogie. “You’re never too old for it.”
I grinned up at him. “Dude, I can’t believe you’re getting married.”
“Did Mom flip?”
“Yeah. Why do you think we’re here so early?”
He sighed and leaned against the wall, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. Since when did Charlie smoke? “I hoped she’d be okay.” He lit the cigarette, and then he looked at me. “Want one?”
I shook my head, confused. “But why didn’t you even tell us you were serious about this girl? Why didn’t you call me?”
He smiled. “Joelle, she’s something special. I can’t wait for you two to meet.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
Charlie took a long drag on his cigarette. Was he allowed to smoke inside the hotel? I glanced around, but the hallway was deserted.
“We weren’t that serious. It all happened kind of quick.”
“I’ll say. And you wonder why Mom’s freaking out.”
“Cuppa, I’m freaking out, too.” Charlie cleared his throat. “I’m going to be a dad.”
I stared at him, too stunned to speak.
Finally, Charlie coughed. “Say something, would you, kid?”
I reached for his cigarette and put it to my lips. I inhaled sharply, ignoring the burning sensation that raced down my throat. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.” His eyes met mine. “You cannot tell Mom.”
“What?!”
“We haven’t told anyone. We want to have the wedding and make everyone happy, and then maybe they won’t be angry when we give them the news.”
I shook my head. “Mom’s got, like, ESP or something. You seriously think you’re going to keep this a secret?”
I wanted to kick him. “That’s so not fair.”
“But it’s what we want. Can you keep a secret, kiddo?”
I took another pull on the cigarette, but then I coughed. “I don’t know. Maybe. I guess.”
Charlie hugged me and took his cigarette back. “That’s my girl. Just keep quiet until after the wedding. Let Mom have one heart attack at a time.”
I glared at him, but then I couldn’t help myself. I giggled, and after a moment, Charlie started to laugh, too. We were still laughing as a door down the hall opened, and a few seconds later, our dad came around the corner. He wasn’t smiling, and Charlie stubbed out his cigarette fast.
“You better have something to say to your mother.” He hesitated for a moment, but then he wrapped Charlie in a big bear hug. “Congratulations, son.”
Charlie’s eyes met mine over Pop’s shoulder, and I placed my finger to my lips, and he nodded. When Pops broke the embrace, he stepped back and looked at my brother. Then he glanced at me, and he sniffed. “JoJo, weren’t you going out?”
I hesitated. “Yes, but—”
“You need to go air out before you talk to your mother.” He cut his eyes at Charlie, but my brother didn’t flinch. “She won’t like the thought of you smoking, but I don’t want to know what she’d do if she smelled JoJo right now.”
Charlie nodded. “Sorry, Pops.” He gave me a lopsided grin. “If you’re going exploring, stop at the café on the corner. Petra is in there waiting for me.”
I snorted. “What, like the ancient city?”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Like my fiancée.”
“Oh.” I swallowed, suddenly shy. And the mother of his child. “What’s she look like?”
“She’s wearing a green sweater. You’ll see her.”
Before I could pester him for more details, he and my dad turned and walked up the hallway. Part of me wanted to stick around and talk to Charlie, but another part of me wasn’t sure I could handle Mom’s reaction. She’d been bad enough about my piercing. Surely, I don’t smell that bad. I’d only had the cigarette in my hand for a second. I pulled a piece of my hair around in front of my face and sniffed it. Damn. Pops was right. That probably wouldn’t help Charlie’s case.
I headed for the hotel elevator, but I’d lost any enthusiasm for exploring Berlin. I was too busy thinking about the news Charlie had dumped on me. Did he seriously think he was ready to be a dad?
How medieval, I thought as I walked outside. They were getting married just because she’d gotten pregnant. That’s practically what Charlie had said upstairs, I realized, and I clenched my fist, suddenly angry at this stupid girl who was dumb enough to ruin her life and steal my brother’s. Where had Charlie said she was waiting? I glanced up and spotted the familiar green coffee sign on the corner, and I snorted. I hated the girl even more; she was cooling her heels, waiting for my brother in a coffee megastore. Crossing the street, I headed for the café, ready to tell this girl exactly what I thought of her.
~
The café was loud and crowded, but even in German, the menu looked familiar. I’d always hated big coffee chains, but working at Beautiful Bean had only deepened my loathing. Give me a little local place with character and a short menu any day.
I glanced around, taking in the mostly young crowd. Before I could spot my brother’s leech, however, a short blond shape barreled into me with a squeal, almost knocking me off my feet.
“Joey!”
I stared at her in astonishment. “Do I know you?”
The petite woman pulled back, beaming, and I noticed her green sweater. My stomach turned over as she said, “I am Charlie’s Petra.”
I stepped away from her. “Oh.” All the anger I’d felt building up since I got to the hotel left me at once, leaving me feeling like a pathetic, deflated balloon. Petra was smiling up at me, and she looked like a charming elf or fairy. Wispy blond hair framed her face, and the green sweater she was wearing matched her bright eyes. She didn’t even look like she was wearing makeup; nothing about her fit with the idea of the bimbo who got herself knocked up just to catch my brother, and I swallowed. She actually seemed kind of nice at first glance.
“Charlie has told me so much about you. We will be sisters, no?” She reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze, oblivious of the fact that I was trying to figure out what to make of her.
“Um,” I looked away. “I’m going to get a cup of coffee.”
Petra laughed. “That’s right. Charlie told me you are like a cup of Joe yourself.”
Hearing my nickname in her mouth made me stiffen. “I’ll be right back.”
I hurried away from her and stepped into line behind a clump of teenagers. Why did she have to seem so sweet? I glanced back over my shoulder, but Petra wasn’t watching me. She’d taken a seat near the window. I shook my head. I’d kind of wanted to hate her, especially with the whole baby thing and forcing my brother to marry her, but it was going to be hard. I mean, it was like hating Tinker Bell. Still, I didn’t have to be friends with her.
Fortified with a huge paper cup filled with coffee, I headed back to where my brother’s girlfriend—fiancée—sat. She smiled up at me as I pulled out a stool and sat down beside her.
“It is so warm to finally meet you. I feel as if I already know you.”
I shrugged. “I don’t really know anything about you. Charlie didn’t tell us where you two met.”
She laughed. “It was very romantic.” The words sounded gravelly in her thick accent, which might have been charming if anyone else had said it, but not her.
“Yeah?” I took a big gulp of coffee and scalded the roof of my mouth. Damn. “How so?”
She launched into a bubbly story of chance encounters at the dry cleaner’s, followed by some complicated exchange where she ended up collecting my brother’s order and he got hers. “When I called to return his clothes, he asked me to take a meal with him.” She blushed. “I fell in love with him I think before I knew what was happening.”
“And what about the baby?”
She dropped her eyes. “He told you?”
I nodded. “I think it’s a stupid reason to get married.”
Petra looked up, confused. “But we love each other. That is reason enough, no?”
“No!” I took a cautious sip of my coffee. “I mean, sure. But you barely know each other. It sounds like you wouldn’t be getting married at all if it weren’t for the kid.”
“Are you not happy to be an aunt?”
I stared at her, dumbfounded. I hadn’t really thought about that, but of course I’d become an aunt if my brother had a kid. Confused, I looked away. “It’s a big shock,” I muttered.
She laughed gently. “It was a shock for us, too. But please, Joelle, I hope you will be so happy. I do love your brother very dearly.”
I wanted to argue with her, but I sighed. “Whatever.”
She hesitated, and then she placed her hand over mine. “I hope you will not say anything to your parents about the baby.”
I shrugged. “Not my secret, is it?”
“I knew you would be just as wonderful as Charlie said!”
She smiled at me, and I felt sick. Pushing away from the counter, I stood up, almost knocking my stool over. “I’m going to go exploring. I’ll see you later.”
“Maybe you would like company?” She hopped off her stool and smiled expectantly.
I shook my head. “Not really.”
Her face fell. “Oh. Well, enjoy Berlin. I will see you later, no?”
“Don’t count on it,” I muttered as I left the café.
Once I was outside, I felt a little guilty for the way I’d given Petra the cold shoulder, but I was too angry to care. First Charlie dropped off the face of the earth, only popping back up to dump the news of his wedding on us, and then he told me he’s going to be a dad? The icing on the cake was his little girlfriend tried to play the sister act with me. I glanced back
at the café and hurried down the street. I so wasn’t ready to deal with Petra just yet.
I wandered aimlessly, exploring the streets around the hotel. Most of the buildings were sleek and ultramodern, but after I’d gone a few blocks, a handful of old, tired-looking stone buildings started to spring up in between all the chrome and glass. The street widened suddenly, and I spilled out into a busy intersection. Cars rushed by, but that wasn’t what took my breath away.
Looming up in the distance across the intersection was the Brandenburg Gate. I’d seen a picture of it online once, but nothing had prepared me for how huge the structure was. Stepping back, I pulled my phone out of my bag and turned the camera on to line up a shot. Even as far away from the gate as I was, it was nearly impossible to fit the whole thing into the frame. I could barely make out the shape of Victory in her chariot on top of the thing, and I stared, snapping pictures, awestruck. I had a thing for big, historical monuments ever since I went to DC on a school trip in eighth grade; there was just something comforting about knowing that the buildings had survived so many years, despite the way the world had changed around them.
Hurrying down the sidewalk, I headed toward the gate. I’d had no idea our hotel was so close to it. Finally, I stood in the shadow of the gate. I stared up at the reconstructed facade, and I couldn’t repress the shiver that passed over me. So much history and sadness seemed to be wrapped up in this one monumental symbol. The temple-like columns looked like something from ancient Rome, but it had been built in the 1700s. Even though it was meant to be a symbol of peace, I remembered reading somewhere that the gate had been blocked off when President Kennedy traveled to Germany, to keep him for catching a glimpse of East Berlin; the wall dividing the whole country had run right up against the monument. I slowly turned in a circle, taking in the view of both sides of the city.
