Cassie quickly shook her head. “I’m sorry, I’m just… surprised.”
Noah sighed and figured he needed to elaborate.
“Cassie,” he said. “Let me make this clear. I’ve never been with anyone. In that way or in anyway. This isn’t just our first date. This is my first date. Ever.”
Cassie’s mouth dropped open.
“I’m sorry,” Noah said, his cheeks warming.
“No, wait,” Cassie said. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to act so shocked. I’m probably making you feel horrible. I don’t mean to.”
“It’s alright,” Noah said. “I know it’s not normal. But my life hasn’t been normal.”
Cassie watched him carefully, obviously waiting for him to go on, but Noah couldn’t bring himself to say any more.
“I wish you would talk to me about that,” Cassie said.
Noah thought about it. He considered that maybe it was time, but the fact was he just didn’t want to right now.
“My past isn’t very happy,” Noah said. “I know you want to know. I need to tell you. And I think, for the first time, I might actually want to tell you—but not now. Not today. This is, after all, my first date.”
Cassie nodded. “We’ll leave yesterday for another time. For now, let’s just enjoy today.”
* * * *
“I’m bored.”
Megan was lying on her bed, trying to get through the assigned work for her economics plan when Brady had called with his pronouncement.
“So am I,” Megan said. “But I’ve also got a ton of school work to do. And I can’t keep putting it off. I should have done it last night, but I had a date.”
“With Steve?” Brady asked, proving how bored he was, since he really didn’t care.
“Kyle,” Megan corrected. “From the party last night. Cassie’s fake suitor. I didn’t want him to feel used.”
“I wonder how Cassie’s date went,” Brady said.
“I got a text,” Megan said. “It went great, she’s seeing him tomorrow. She’s actually meeting his mom. Turns out at least some of those women that popped up on his cell are nurses. His mom is sick.”
“Oh,” Brady said. “That sucks. I don’t think those women we saw when we tailed him were nurses.”
“No, but that’s between them.”
“I know,” Brady said. “But it was kinda fun. Like playing secret agent.”
Megan sighed. “I know, but that wasn’t right.”
“I know,” Brady agreed. “But what if we used our powers of stealth for good instead of evil?”
“What are you thinking?”
“You know the girl that keeps harassing Cassie?”
“Lisa?” Megan said. “Yeah, she’s a real bitch. What about her?”
“She kept insisting Tom didn’t have anything to do with those girls who’ve been raped,” Brady said. “It made me think that maybe she knows that because he’s staying with her.”
“Cops already thought of that,” Megan said. “Cassie told me the guys all gave up the fact that Tom was hiding out with them. Used it to cut a deal, but when they went to their places Tom was gone.”
“I bet she knows where he is,” Brady said. “If we followed her, she might lead us to him.”
“You’re crazy.”
“No,” Brady said. “I’m bored. C’mon. You can do your work in the car. We just have to figure out where she is.”
“On a Saturday?” Megan said. “She’s probably working. Big night at her club.”
“Cool,” Brady said. “I’ll pick you up in twenty?”
Megan rolled her eyes. “You’re a bad influence. Fine. But you’re buying the stake-out food.”
“Deal.”
Brady pulled up in front of Megan’s apartment in less than fifteen minutes and sent her a quick text that he had arrived. Three minutes later, Megan came down, tossed her book bag into the back, and got in. Brady drove two blocks and pulled into a gas station. He handed Megan his Speed Pass so she could go in and get some food while he filled the tank. By the time she came out, she had two bags of bottled water, chips, sandwiches, and other assorted snacks.
“For the record,” Megan said as Brady got back in. “I’m not usually this cheap of a date.”
“I may be a cheap date,” Brady said as he restarted the engine, “but I’ll still respect you in the morning.”
“Then what’s the point?” Megan asked.
Brady laughed as they set off.
Megan gave Brady directions as she fiddled with the radio. It took them twenty minutes to find the Private Eye Club. Megan instructed Brady to pull up across the street.
“You’re going in right?” she asked.
“What?” Brady said as he killed the engine. “Why?”
“We need to make sure she’s in there,” Megan said. “This could be her night off.”
Brady looked at the Private Eye Club and it dawned on him what kind of a club it was.
“Why me?”
“This was your idea, Bozo,” Megan answered. “Besides, it’s a strip joint. You’re a guy. You won’t stand out.”
Brady just sat there staring at the club.
“Oh for fucks sake,” Megan said. “You won’t lose your gay card if you see a few pairs of tits. You don’t need to ask her for a lap dance. Just go in and look around. She might be backstage, so don’t run out right away. Then leave. It’s simple.”
Brady rolled his eyes, but she was right. It was no use sitting out here all night if Lisa wasn’t even in there.
“Okay,” Brady said, “I’m going in.”
Brady crossed the street, went to the door, dug out twenty dollars to pay for the cover charge, and went into the club.
What have you gotten yourself into?
It wasn’t that the idea of naked girls repulsed him. It was just the idea of being in a strip club. He knew it was silly, but he kept worrying his mother would appear out of thin air, slap his head, and drag him out by the ear.
He took a look around. A pair of girls in skimpy outfits poured drinks behind the bar. He saw a lot of guys. Some were business men, some were college kids. There was a guy who practically had the word loser written on his forehead, sitting alone and staring creepily at the girls.
Brady recognized a few of the guys, but they were too busy hooting at the blonde swinging around a pole to notice him. He almost gasped when he realized one of the girls on stage, a pretty brunette who was buck naked and taking singles from a business man, was a girl from his science class. He’d always thought she was sweet and shy.
Brady considered sitting at the bar for a while when a voice came on the speaker.
“And now for your pleasure, we give you Thorny Rose!”
Oh God!
Brady watched as Lisa, AKA Thorny Rose, came onto the stage. She took to the pole and began to shimmy and shake. It was pretty clear from the way the other girls on stage looked at her that she wasn’t well liked. When Lisa pulled her top off, she threw it right at the girl from Brady’s class. Within five minutes, Lisa was fully unclothed and taking dollar bills, then allowing men to take quick gropes.
Brady decided he’d seen more than enough and left. He ran across the street, where he found Megan nibbling on chips and reading her economics book.
“She’s there,” Brady said. “I saw her. All of her.”
“Yeah?” Megan asked. “Is that her natural hair color?”
Brady laughed and reached for a bottle of water. “Now what?”
“We wait,” Megan said. “I’m doing homework. Unless you got overly excited in there and need to make out?”
“Nope,” Brady said as he reached behind him for one of his textbooks as well. “Pretty sure I’m gay.”
* * * *
They both studied for a couple of hours in silence. At one point, Megan reclined her seat and stretched out.
“I’m taking a nap,” she said. “Make sure you stay awake and alert. We don’t want to miss her if she comes out.”
Brady grunted. He kept working for a bit, but once he realized Megan was asleep his mind began to wander. He wondered why he was out here. Sure, he wanted to help Cassie. And it had been pretty cool to follow Noah around, even though he felt bad after that last time. But if he were being honest, there was another reason. Something that he was trying to avoid thinking about.
Ben.
Brady thought about what it might be like to introduce Ben to his family.
Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend, Ben.
His mother would probably worry and want to talk, talk, talk. His father? What would his father’s reaction be? His dad was closest to Brady’s older brother, Ethan. They could sit around all day and watch football or whatever sports thing was on. They didn’t talk much, unless you counted yelling at the TV as conversation. Dad treated Missy, Brady’s older sister, like a princess, but he didn’t talk to her much either. He listened as Mom and Missy yammered on.
But Brady didn’t have that sports connection with his dad and he wasn’t Daddy’s little girl. Would coming out just drive them farther apart?
So as long as he was doing something as stupid as this, he figured he might not sit around and think about it as much. Which Brady now thought was funny, since that was exactly what he was doing.
Across the street, he saw a few women come out from the rear of the building. “Hey Megan, I think there’s a shift getting out.”
Megan woke up and took a look. “Yeah, it’s getting to be that time I suppose. Keep your eye out.”
They sat and watched in silence for a few moments.
“What’s the matter, Brady?” Megan asked.
“Huh?”
“Something’s bothering you,” Megan said. “What is it? You and Ben still having problems?”
Brady shrugged. “He told me last night that he’d try and be more patient about my coming out to my family, but I know he still wants me to. He really likes me and I like him. I want to make this work, but how can I do that if I can’t come clean with my family? I guess I’m trying to figure out how.”
“Don’t ask me,” Megan said. “My family operates by the ‘ignorance is bliss’ rule. My parents still think I’m a virgin.”
Brady tried not to laugh, but he couldn’t help himself.
“Hey,” Megan said. “Is that her?”
Brady saw Lisa, now fully dressed, coming out from the back of the club. She stopped to light a cigarette.
“Crap,” Megan said as Lisa looked up. “She’s coming this way. She knows I’m friends with Cassie.”
“Hide,” Brady ordered. “Just don’t let her see your…”
Brady’s words were cut off as Megan started to kiss him.
“Would you kiss me back,” Megan whispered.
After a few moments, she pulled back.
“She’s getting into that VW Bug,” Megan said. “Let’s go.”
Brady nodded. “Got it. Good thinking. By the way, I’m definitely gay.”
Megan laughed as they pulled away.
Chapter 11
Noah’s phone chimed, letting him know that he’d gotten a text. He got up off the weight bench and headed over to the table in the corner where his phone was.
“Hold on there,” Walter said.
Noah saw his grandfather coming down into the basement. “What?”
“I don’t want you to look at that phone, see a text from Pamela and go and cancel on us. I want to meet this Cassie. Make sure she really exists.”
“She exists,” Noah said. “And it could be her.”
Noah grabbed the phone. He hesitated for a moment, afraid that Walter might be correct, but when he looked at the screen, he saw Cassie’s name.
“It is from her,” Noah said.
Small problem. Dad had 2 go to work. Police stuff. Stuck w/Tyler. Can he come 2?
“Her dad had to go into work,” Noah said.
“On a Sunday?”
“He’s a Detective,” Noah said. “Occupational hazard. She’s got her kid brother with her for the day. Wants to know if he can tag along.”
“Sure,” Walter said. “The more the merrier.”
Noah began to text her back to let her know that it was fine and that he’d be by to pick them both up at noon, then changed it to eleven thirty so she’d be ready by noon. He waited a moment, then got a text back that said she’d be ready. Noah put the phone down and headed back to his workout.
“That’s it?” Walter said. “She’s still coming?”
“Yes,” Noah said. “She’s looking forward to it.”
“Good,” Walter said.
Noah was about to go back to lifting weights, but decided to put it off a minute.
“I have to tell her,” Noah said. “She knows there’s something and she’s being patient, but eventually I’ll have to tell her, won’t I?”
Walter sat down on the bench. “Yes, you will. Because if you want a real shot, you don’t want secrets between you. If she’s the right one, it won’t matter.”
“How can it not?” Noah asked. “I’m still not sure it’s not a mistake. Asking her to accept someone like me.”
“Someone like you?” Walter asked. “Noah, you’re my grandson. You ask anyone who knows you, Diana, Amber, Paige. Even Pamela on a day when she’s sober. They’ll tell you any girl would be lucky to have you.”
Noah knew his grandfather meant it, but it was still hard to comprehend.
“Why don’t you just take things one day at a time,” Walter said.
“That’s my plan,” Noah said. “I guess I’m just wondering how long I can put it off.”
“You’ll know when it’s time,” Walter said. “Just not today.”
Noah smiled as he went back to lifting. “No, not today.”
* * * *
Cassie heard Tyler answer the door when Noah arrived. “You didn’t expect her to be on time, did you?”
She ran to the counter and grabbed a pie. “My mom’s recipe. I hope you guys like apple pie.”
He answered her with a long, deep kiss and said, “Who doesn’t?”
Tyler just rolled his eyes.
When they arrived at Noah’s home, they found Walter waiting for them in the living room.
“Grandpa wasn’t a hundred percent sure you were real,” Noah said.
Cassie smiled. “I’m real.”
“Thank Heavens,” Walter said. “Please sit down. This must be your brother, Tyler.”
Tyler pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and extended his hand.
“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Collins,” Tyler said.
“Please, call me Walter. Let’s sit.”
It didn’t take long for Cassie to see how much Walter loved Noah, but as she looked around the room, she was surprised that she didn’t see any pictures of Noah as a child. There were several of Noah’s mother when she was little, as well as Walter and Noah’s late grandmother, but not a single picture of Noah as a child.
“Walter,” a woman said as she came into the room, “I think now would be a good time.”
Noah grabbed Cassie’s hand. “Linda, I’d like you to meet Cassie. And her brother, Tyler.”
Everyone exchanged greetings before Noah turned to Cassie. “You ready?”
Cassie nodded. Noah brought Cassie in to meet his mother.
Cassie knew Jean Collins was only in her mid-forties, but the woman lying in the bed looked frail and old. Her hair was gone and her skin was milky white. She smiled weakly from her bed and held out a hand to greet Cassie.
“Hello Ms. Collins,” Cassie said.
“Please, call me Jean,” she said faintly.
Noah introduced Tyler as they sat around and talked. Jean couldn’t do much talking, but her eyes filled with joy as she listened to Cassie. She managed a chuckle for Tyler’s jokes. She looked happy.
After about twenty minutes, she motioned for Noah to come closer. He leaned in to her. She said something that Cassie couldn’t hear. Noah looked surprised and a little worr
ied, but he nodded when she added in a strained voice, “please.”
“Tyler,” Noah said. “Let’s go see if Grandpa needs any help with dinner. My mom wants to talk about me behind my back.”
“Cool,” Tyler said. “Guess it’s time for all your potty training stories.”
Noah led Tyler out of the room, giving his mother one last worried glance.
“He’s worried,” Jean said. “He’s not ready to talk about his past.”
Cassie moved closer, taking Jean’s hand again. “I know. I can’t imagine that it’s so horrible that it’s worth the anguish he’s putting himself through.”
Jean squeezed her hand. “It’s worse, but he shouldn’t be embarrassed. He’ll tell you. Noah…” Jean stopped to take a breath. “Noah’s a good man. He just doesn’t believe it.”
Cassie could tell how hard it was for Jean to talk this much. She realized how important it must be for her.
“Did Noah tell you how we met?” Cassie asked. Jean shook her head. “I was attacked. Noah saved me. And he took care of me afterwards. He kept me from falling apart. I know Noah’s a good man. He saved my life.”
Jean smiled. “That’s my Noah. He saved my life, too. That’s what he does. He…” Her breathing became haggard. “He just won’t see it.”
Cassie smiled. “I’ll just have to help him.”
“He’s been happy since he met you,” Jean said. “He never lets himself be happy, but with you, he can’t seem to help it.”
“He makes me happy, too.”
“He’ll get scared,” Jean said. “He might try and push you away for your own good. Don’t let him.”
Cassie nodded. “I won’t.”
Cassie watched as Jean cried, struggling for breath.
“It’s okay,” Cassie said. “Just breathe.”
* * * *
After dessert, Cassie and Tyler went to see Noah’s mother one last time to say goodbye. She could barely stay awake, but she managed to smile.
Noah drove Cassie and Tyler home. Just as they pulled in the driveway and Tyler got out, Noah’s cell rang. He looked at it. “It’s your dad. Is your battery dead?”
Just Breathe Page 12
