Agent Crowley signaled for the guards to remove Nathaniel. When they had him out of the room, the other three guards let Noah go. He immediately went to Cassie.
“What did you just do?” he asked her. “I don’t want him anywhere near you.”
“He’s not,” Cassie said. “He’s gone. He can’t hurt me.”
“He knows about you,” Noah said. “He threatened you.”
“And now he won’t want anything to happen to me,” Cassie said. “He’ll want me to come back.”
Noah pulled her into an embrace. “I wanted to protect you.”
She kissed him gently. “Well, now we’ll protect each other. I can do this. As long as you’re with me, I can do this.”
* * * *
Diana had worried that they might actually arrest Noah for assault, but Agent Crowley dismissed her fears. “If it were me, I doubt I could have lasted that long without trying to take his head off. Go home. I’ll let you know when we find Alyssa.”
Noah approached the McMillian’s with his head bowed. “I’m sorry,” he told them. “I almost blew it.”
Joy McMillian pushed Noah’s chin up with her fingers. She then gave him a motherly kiss on the cheek. “You have a wonderful young lady there. You take care of her.”
Mr. McMillian shook Noah’s hand. “Thank you.” He looked to Cassie. “Thank you both.”
Alyssa’s sister Keagan had her head down as she approached Noah. “I’m so sorry.” She hugged Noah and kissed his cheek. “Thank you. My sister would be proud of the man you’ve become.”
Someone escorted them to the parking lot, where everyone headed for their cars. Noah held Cassie’s hand and pulled her to a stop.
“Give me the keys,” Diana said. Noah did so. “You two take a moment. I’ll meet you in the car.”
Noah pulled Cassie to the side. There was a tree that gave them a little shade and privacy. He looked at her a long time before kissing her.
“Your father is going to kill me,” Noah said.
Cassie laughed. “He won’t be happy, but he’ll understand when I explain it.”
“We’ll explain it,” Noah said. “It’s the least I can do. Cassie, there’s a part of me that’s really angry at you. I never wanted that, but there’s another part that can’t thank you enough.”
“Go with that part,” she said. “He isn’t going to come between us.”
Noah shook his head. “No, he’s not.”
They kissed again and then headed to the car where they found Diana waiting for them. She was holding her cell phone.
“Noah,” Diana said as she stepped forward, “Walter called while we were inside.”
“What’s wrong?” he asked. He saw the tears in Diana’s eyes. “Mom?”
“I’m sorry,” Diana said. “She passed an hour ago. She’s gone.”
Noah took a step back, as if he could retreat from the news. He turned to Cassie, who pulled him into a hug. He felt Diana place her hand on the back of his neck. Through the shock, it finally penetrated what he was being told. His mother had died. And Noah hadn’t been there to say goodbye.
Noah let Cassie hold him as he wept.
Chapter 14
When his phone rang, Walter saw that it was his grandson calling. He wasn’t surprised that the first thing out of Noah’s mouth was an apology for not being there when Jean had passed. What did surprise him was the sound of Noah’s voice. It sounded like his grandson had been crying, which wasn’t something that Noah did.
“Now you listen,” Walter said. “You were doing what you needed to do to help that poor family. Your mother was so proud of you. She knows how hard it is for you to do what you do every year. So no apologies. Where are you now?”
“We just left the prison,” Noah said. “We’re coming straight home. Diana’s driving.”
“Good,” Walter said. “There’s no reason to rush. I’m just fine. So you tell Diana to drive safely. Did everything go okay? You got what you needed from that bastard?”
“We got what we needed,” Noah said. “But things got a little out of hand.”
“How so?”
“I’ll explain later,” Noah said.
Walter decided not to push it for now.
“Alright,” he said. “I need to start making phone calls. I’ll see you when you get here. And Noah,” Walter paused, trying to keep himself from breaking down. “I love you. I just need you to hear that right now.”
There was a moment of silence before Noah responded.
“I love you too, Grandpa.”
When Walter ended the call, he sat there stunned. Noah had never spoken those words aloud to him.
What is that girl doing to you? Walter wondered. Then he prayed that whatever it was, she kept on doing it.
* * * *
When Diana pulled into the driveway of Noah’s home, they were surprised to see there were cars already there.
“That’s Paige’s car,” Diana said. “But who else is here?”
Cassie, who had fallen asleep and had just woken up a few minutes earlier, looked out her window.
“That’s my dad’s car,” Cassie said pointing to the Buick. “And the other one belongs to Ben.”
They went inside and found Walter sitting at the kitchen table, a photo album in front of him. On his left was Cassie’s father. On his right were Ben and Brady.
Cassie had called her father from the car to let him know what was happening. She had then texted her friends as well.
Introductions were made.
“We wanted to see if we could help,” Ben said. “I’m so sorry.”
Everyone took their turns giving their condolences.
“Is Paige here?” Noah asked.
“She’s in the living room with Tyler,” Shaw told him. “She volunteered to help him with his homework that he put off ’til the last second.”
Noah nodded and turned to Cassie. “Come say hello?”
Cassie took Noah’s hand and let him lead her into the living room where Tyler sat with his computer. Paige sat beside him, pointing to the screen.
She grabbed her cane and struggled to get up. Both Tyler and Noah helped her. Cassie watched her warmly embrace Noah. She gave him a tender kiss on his cheek and then turned to Cassie.
“So you’re the girl that’s got Noah actually smiling,” she said. “I’m sorry that we had to meet like this.”
“Me too,” Cassie said.
Paige turned to Tyler. “Do you think you’re okay from here?” Tyler nodded. “I’ll be inside if you need me, sweetie.”
Noah helped her walk inside. Once she was seated at the table, Cassie excused herself. “It was a long ride.”
As she left the room, Noah turned to her father.
“Detective Shaw,” Noah said. “Could I speak to you a moment in private?”
Shaw looked surprised, but he nodded and followed Noah to another room where they had some privacy.
“Something happened today at the prison that you need to be aware of,” Noah said.
* * * *
The day of the funeral, Cassie helped Tyler with his tie.
“You know,” she said, “for a kid who managed to skip a grade, you’d think you’d be able to tie your own tie.”
“I understand the concept,” Tyler said. “It’s my execution that needs work.”
Cassie finished and then smoothed out his shirt. “There you go. You look very handsome. Are you sure you’re okay to go?”
Tyler nodded. “I liked Ms. Collins. I can kind of remember when Mom was buried. It meant something that people came to be there with us. After everything that happened, it made me feel a little better because so many people knew how great she was. So I want to be there for Ms. Collins and Walter and Noah.”
Cassie fussed with Tyler’s jacket for a moment longer.
“Why is Dad pissed at you?” Tyler asked.
“What makes you think he’s angry?”
“Because he’s been very quiet,”
Tyler said. “And he’s got that ‘I’m angry’ look. And I didn’t do anything, so I figure it’s got to be you. Is it because you went away over the weekend?”
“It’s more because of what happened,” Cassie said. “We went to see Noah’s father. He’s in jail.”
“What’d he do?”
Cassie sighed. She was unsure of how much to tell Tyler. How much would Noah want him to know?
“He hurt and killed people,” Cassie said.
“Why go see him?” Tyler asked. “Does Noah still love him?”
“No,” Cassie said. “He never loved him.”
“Then why go?”
With another sigh, Cassie took Tyler’s hand and led him over to his bed where they sat. She explained to Tyler what had happened.
“So that’s why Dad is pissed,” Cassie said. “He doesn’t want me to have to talk with that man. I don’t want to. Noah really hates the fact that I agreed to this, but I’ve got to.”
Tyler turned that over in his mind for a few moments. “I don’t want you to either. I don’t like the idea of this guy being near you, but I get it. If it were Mom out there, I’d want her back. I’d want to know where she was. You need to be able to say goodbye.”
Cassie smiled at her younger brother. He may not be able to tie his own tie, but he was still pretty smart.
“Do you want me to go with you?” Tyler asked.
“No,” Cassie said.
Tyler considered his sister for a moment. “You really faced him? This guy who killed these women? And you were okay? You didn’t have an attack?”
Cassie shook her head. “No, I was fine. I had Noah with me.”
Tyler nodded. “I think Noah’s good for you. I’ve noticed that you haven’t been the same since you’ve started hanging out with him. You’re not as whacky.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” Tyler said, either ignoring or not getting the sarcasm. “But I still think it sucks that he has to go on his birthday.”
“It does indeed suck,” their father said from the doorway. “Tyler, go take out the trash before we leave. Meet us in the car.”
Tyler rolled his eyes. “Like I don’t know that you’re just trying to get rid of me,” he said as he walked off.
Cassie laughed. “He’s a smart one.”
“Yeah,” Shaw said as he came in. “Both my kids are. Look, I’m sorry that I’ve been angry. It’s just the thought of you being anywhere near that SOB makes me crazy.”
“I know,” Cassie said. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking forward to it, but I have to help. And don’t be mad at Noah. He had nothing to do with it. And he’s got enough to deal with.”
“I know he does,” Shaw said. “Tyler was right. You’re different since you’ve been spending time with Noah. You faced Nathaniel without having an attack.”
“I didn’t even think about it until Tyler said it, but you’re right. I was fine, because Noah was there.”
Shaw shook his head. “It’s more than just that. You’ve been different even when he’s not right there. You’re more confident.”
“Thanks,” Cassie said. “I guess that’s true.”
Shaw gave his daughter a kiss on the top of her head.
“Tyler was right,” Shaw admitted. “Noah is good for you.”
“I like to think that we’re good for each other,” Cassie said.
“Well, of course,” Shaw agreed. “I know he’s lucky to have you. Now come on. Let’s go.”
* * * *
When they arrived at Noah’s home, they found Walter sitting in the kitchen with Diana. Walter was on the phone. Diana got up to greet them and asked Tyler if he wouldn’t mind waiting to help Paige when she arrived. Tyler scooted off to wait by the door while Walter finished his conversation.
“It’s alright, Amber,” Walter said. “I understand. I’ll have Noah give you a call later. I know how much you loved Jean.” Walter nodded as he listened. “Of course he’ll understand. This is Noah. Don’t worry. You take care of yourself, sweetheart. Alright. Goodbye.”
Walter hung up the phone with a sigh.
“She’s not coming I take it?” Diana said.
“No,” Walter said. “Poor thing. She tried. She feels horrible, but it’s just too much.”
“Is everything okay?” Cassie asked.
“As much as it can be. Amber can’t make it to the funeral today.”
“I can go get her,” Shaw offered.
“Paige already tried,” Diana said. “Amber just can’t do it.”
“What can’t she do?” Cassie asked.
Diana sighed. “Leave the house. She just… can’t. There’ll be too many people. Half the time, she doesn’t even like it when Paige and I visit. Noah’s the only one who can drop by unannounced.”
Of all the women who were rescued from Nathaniel’s dungeon, Cassie knew the least about Amber, but Cassie could sympathize with her.
“Where’s Noah?” she asked.
“In his room,” Walter said. “He’s supposed to speak today and has no idea what to say.”
Cassie started toward Noah’s room, but Shaw stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. “Let me go,” he said. “I had to do the eulogy for your mom.”
She nodded and watched her father go.
Shaw found Noah pacing in his bedroom. There was a laptop open on the desk with a blank word document displayed on the screen.
“You okay?” Shaw asked. Noah turned to look at him and ran his hand over his hair. “Stupid question. Of course you’re not. What can I do to help?”
Noah shook his head. “I want to apologize again for…”
“Stop,” Shaw said and held up his hand. “Enough. What happened wasn’t your fault. I imagine you hate what happened as much as I do, if not more. But Cassie’s not a little kid anymore. She knows what she’s doing.”
“I know she does,” Noah said. “I just don’t want her to do it. If I can find a way around it…”
“I already have,” Shaw said. That got Noah’s attention. “Don’t get too excited. I don’t know if I can make it happen. The way I see it, I’ve got a year to try and figure out where the rest of Nathaniel’s victims are buried. I’ve been doing my research. He didn’t just dump them randomly in the woods.”
“No,” Noah said. “He put Alyssa under a playground that was under construction. Last year he told me he put Wendy in a baseball field.”
“Right,” Shaw said, taking a seat at the chair by the desk. He waited while Noah sat on the edge of the bed. “Did you know he went to that school across the street from the playground? And he played little league on that baseball field?”
“I didn’t,” Noah said. “I’ve never had much interest in learning about him.”
“I’ve made it my business to learn about him since you told me you were his son,” Shaw said. “You’re nothing like him. I don’t see anything of him in you.”
Noah tried to respond, but he couldn’t find the words.
“Thank you,” he said finally. “Can I help?”
“Maybe,” Shaw said. “But let’s not worry about that for now. Today is about the person who you do take after. I see you haven’t made any progress on your eulogy.”
Noah rubbed his hand over his head again. “I don’t know what to say. Or how to say it. Do I talk about what happened to her? Do I ignore it? How do I talk about everything she did for me without talking about how she was abused and humiliated? How do I honor my mother without dishonoring her?”
Shaw edged his chair closer to Noah and put a hand on the young man’s shoulder.
“First off,” Shaw said, “calm down. Nobody expects you to be perfect up there. Everyone who is going to be there knows how hard this is going to be on you. So it doesn’t have to be perfect.
“Second off,” Shaw continued, “a eulogy isn’t about giving people a rundown on her life. It’s about what she meant to you. You just need to speak from the heart. Don’t worry about be
ing poetic. Just let everyone know what she meant to you.”
Noah nodded as he considered what he was being told.
“Thank you,” Noah said. “For everything.”
Shaw held out his hand to the man his daughter loved.
* * * *
Noah stood and approached the pulpit. He felt lightheaded and wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t faint. He could feel the sweat on his back and the room almost seemed to spin. For a moment, Noah considered running for the door. He closed his eyes and tried not to pass out.
Then Cassie stood and took his hand. She moved in front him and took his face in her hands. “It’s okay,” she said. “Just breathe.”
Noah opened his eyes. He saw Cassie and felt his world steady.
Taking a deep breath, Noah went up to face the congregation.
He had no notes to put before him, but he took out a picture of his mother that Walter had given to him. It was taken just a week before she had been kidnapped. Noah had always loved the smile she had in it.
Noah looked up and saw the people waiting for him. Cassie had sat back down next to his grandfather. She was holding his hand. Diana was on her other side with Paige. Detective Shaw and Tyler were there as well. Noah saw Ben and all of Cassie’s other friends.
No, Noah corrected himself. My friends.
Beyond them were the nurses who had worked for his mother, many of Walter’s friends and even some family. It meant something that so many people were here. His mother meant something to many of these people.
Now, it was time to let them know what she meant to him.
“Thank you all for coming,” Noah said. “I would like to tell you about Mom. I think the thing about Mom I’ll miss the most will be her laughter. There was a time when Mom’s laughter just boomed out of her. For as long as I can remember, Mom was the one who always tried to make everyone smile. She always believed in trying to find joy in life, no matter how hard things were. She’d use whatever we had around to make up games. We didn’t have any books, but Mom managed to tell me stories that would make me laugh. That’s what I’ll remember the most about her, her laughter. That and her beautiful smile. Because no matter how bad things were, how scared we all were, Mom always said that if we got to live another day, then we needed to find something to smile about.
Just Breathe Page 17
