“Unless you roll him.”
Farley blinked twice and gave a nod. “But that’s not possible.” He stared at his hands, feeling guilty for having to explain himself and pissed off because he was actually doing it. “I’m not strong enough to roll him, Claire. I’m not strong enough to roll anyone. I’m nothing but Food. To him and to the Males in the Dens. I stay alive for one reason and that’s because I’m more entertaining to them breathing than I am dead.” He laughed but didn’t smile. “I’m good at what I do. No matter how much you’re disgusted by it. And I even enjoy it. That’s why I go back.”
“Except for Darco.” She made it a statement, and that was the only reason Farley didn’t get mad.
“Yeah, except for him. He’s cruel. For him it isn’t about feeding the need – it’s about humiliation, pain, drawing as much blood as possible.”
“And you’re not afraid he’ll kill you?”
The thought had crossed Farley’s mind a few times, especially on the Hatching Grounds. But killing him wasn’t his Brother’s goal. Farley wondered how he could soften the truth, then figured what the hell. “Darco won’t kill me. Killing me would end the fun. My death would mean he could never get to me again. And trust me, that’s the last thing Darco wants. No, he enjoys what he does to me way too much, and as much as I hate it, his favor for me helps keep me alive, especially when it comes to some of the really feral Dominants. They’re scared of Darco, too.”
Farley looked out the window at the House of Lin sitting a few rows over. The place was pretty full, but then it always was. There were a lot of happy, smiling faces in there. Human faces. He was willing to bet that none of them had any idea what survival really was. Humans were only lets-get-back-to-nature until it turned around and ripped off a limb.
Claire’s voice broke the silence. “My mom used to beat the hell out of my dad.” Farley looked at her. She was staring at the restaurant. Was she thinking about the people in there, too? “Everyone thinks only a man can do something like that. But my mom…” Her throat worked up and down. “My mom used to do terrible things to him. She used to knock my sister and me around a little, but dad always got in the way.” Claire bit her bottom lip and her eyes went wide.
Farley could almost see her in the kitchen, living room, or maybe the front porch, during her stroll down memory lane, wherever it was those terrible things happened. Then it was gone.
Claire said, “Any how…My dad actually tried to get help. He went to the cops twice and a family friend.”
“What happened?”
Claire flipped her eyes up at him, and he got a good look at the scars those kinds of horrors could leave behind on the Human soul. “They laughed at him.” Her nose reddened, and she swiped her hand under one eye real quick like it was no big deal. “They told him real men don’t get beaten up by women. Some of them accused him of being insensitive to her feelings.” When Claire inhaled this time, she sniffled. “He got my sister and me into college as far away as he could put us, and I never saw him again. Mom beat him up pretty bad one night, and he called Maggie and me in the dorm just to talk. But we knew by the sound in his voice – we knew mom had done a number on him. And of course, he didn’t go to the hospital because no one ever believed him.” Claire paused, and her hands twisted up in her lap. “We found out a week later he killed himself. Mom didn’t tell us. His brother came to the dorm and told us. He must have done it right after we talked. Mom didn’t even know he was dead until the next morning when she found him hanging in the shower. She’d taken one of her stupid sleeping pills and gone to bed.”
Farley found himself staring at Claire with a strange kind of wonder. Never in his life would he have imagined someone like her living through that kind of darkness. Maybe she knew more about survival than he’d given her credit for. “I’m sorry.”
Claire laughed and waved her hands as if shooing away everything she’d just said. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a total buzzkill.”
Farley caught her hand and moved his thumb over her pulse. The muscles in her arms relaxed as he opened her fingers.
“You really want to learn about me?” Farley’s vision went bright. The crystalline auras outlining everything meant his Human eyes were sliding away and being replaced by liquid gold.
Claire managed a small nod, complete with a sound which vaguely resembled a yes.
“Then I’ll show you.” Farley pulled back his lips, flashing pointy teeth, and drew a hot, wet line with his tongue across the palm of her hand.
As Farley headed up the sidewalk to the Center, he couldn’t get the BS about Orin out of his head. All the stuff they were saying on the news was just too surreal. Orin was old, but he was about as docile as a Kin got. There was no way someone like him would kill anyone. Hell, that stick-in-the-mud wouldn’t kill a gnat if he thought it would jeopardize his job with the University.
Or make him look less Human.
Still, a very small part of Farley had to wonder if maybe Orin had lost control.
The bigger part of him promptly stomped the little part to death.
Orin might be a lot of things – arrogant, stuck up, too smart for his own good –
did he say arrogant? But a man-eater wasn’t one of them. No, the Male was too big on his “I’m so in Control.” Prick didn’t even like the idea of being fed temporal fluid. Whereas just the thought of rolling the stuff on his tongue left Farley jonesing.
Claire appeared from between two parked cars and waved at Farley.
“Thanks for coming.” She made like she wanted to hug. When she hesitated Farley opened his arms. Hell, why not? Besides, it got him close to her scent. Damn, it was stronger than he remembered. Farley inhaled and felt heat between his legs. Just great. Not even five seconds in, and he was already thinking with the wrong end of his anatomy.
Claire gave Farley a sweet smile he learned long ago to associate with nefarious things. “You ready?”
Boy, was he ever. “Where are we going to…eat?” Yeah, this was about food, remember?
“How about that Chinese place you like so much? House of Lin?” Claire took his hand and pulled him toward her car.
Farley took shotgun in the Prius. Claire cranked up the car. Compared to Haley’s ’65 Mustang it sounded like a windup toy. Less than twenty miles to the gallon was well worth the roar of a Boss four-twenty-nine under the hood.
Claire backed out and the engine in the Prius made nancy sounds as it accelerated.
“So…” Claire checked both ways before heading out into the street. “Is Haley okay?”
Farley shifted in his seat and leaned back. “Yeah, she’s good.” And Deshi better keep her that way. Farley hated her going without him. As her First Marked, it was his job to tend to her needs. But Haley was right, if he didn’t show up to work tomorrow as scheduled, Garrett was apt to get suspicious. Orin wasn’t exactly an unknown. He’d done some consultation a few times when they ran across documents written in obscure Olde Tongue dialects Farley couldn’t read.
Not to mention the glaring fact Deshi had been the one to take the RHage. And right now Haley needed a Male at her side who could take on whatever Medan was going to dish out.
Farley realized Claire was staring at him in between watching the road. He said, “She’s fine, Claire, just mad because they put her on suspension.”
Claire gave a nod, and her bob cut swung against her cheeks. “They should fire Donald for what he did.” She took a left. “I mean, those Males in the Tank, they were…” She paused, then said, “Bonded…Isn’t that what they call it? Is that the same thing as Brothers?”
Farley watched Claire from the corner of his eye. This was treading on dangerous ground, considering how she’d reacted a few months back after she found out about Darco.
He said, “They can be.”
“Are you and…” She swallowed and her hands rubbed the steering wheel. “Are you and Darco bonded like that?”
Holy shit, she’s got to be�
�� “No.” It came out hard and Claire jumped.
“Sorry, I’m just…I’m just trying to learn, is all. I didn’t mean to make you mad.”
“I’m not mad.” You’re just scaring the shit out of me. ‘Cause two months ago it was all freak-out and go–ballistic, and now it was get cozy with the way of wyrms.
Claire gave another one of those nods, one which said, “Oh-okay.”
At the red light Claire reached into the back and picked up a book and handed it to Farley. “I’ve been reading. A lot. About everything Kin.”
He turned the book over in his hands. The title read A Guide to Kin by Malcom. Farley glanced in the back. It looked like Haley’s library in her office had escaped. Since Haley fell short on a lot of what Females came out of the Hatching Grounds with, she’d taken to reading about her people early on.
But Claire was Human, which made it impossible for Farley not to ask the obvious. “Why?”
Claire’s hands tightened on the steering wheel. “Because I care about you.” Her scent blossomed. “I care about you a lot.” The light turned green, and the Prius made a sound like a fridge cutting on as it rolled forward.
Farley thumbed through the pages on the book. The damn thing even had diagrams on Ulyssis points. There was a highlighter mark through Chapter Ten which covered sense of smell. He put the book between the two front seats. POS car didn’t even have an armrest.
“So does this mean you’re not going to throw up any more if my Brother leaves love marks on me again?” Farley knew he was being mean. Thing is, he didn’t care. Claire guided the little car into the parking lot. “’Cause if you think that was bad...”
“Farley…” Claire’s voice cracked, and her breath went in and out really quick. “I won’t…I won’t lie to you. I find what he did to you repulsive.”
“And you think I enjoyed it?”
She looked at him. Damn. That’s exactly what she thought. “Shit, Claire. You can’t be serious.” Farley almost punched the dash, but was afraid the car would never start again.
Might knock that nine volt right out of the underside.
He settled for scrubbing his face.
Claire said, “Well, Weisman’s book says--”
“Forget about the books. You’re not going to understand anything about my people by reading a bunch of shit written by Humans who not only don’t have experience with it, but don’t have the capacity in their narrow little brains to grasp it if they did.”
Claire sat in the seat next to him as stiff as a board and smelling like tears. She wasn’t crying yet, but she sure was close. She said something Farley didn’t quite understand.
“What?”
“I said, then teach me. I want to understand. But if you won’t talk to me, I can’t learn.” Claire tried to smile, but her lips didn’t seem to want to cooperate.
Farley blinked. Teach her? Yeah. Sure. Humans only thought they wanted to know about what it was like…really like to be Kin. The idea of understanding the monsters was a novelty, like going to the Pit with fake teeth and pheromones, which was a far cry from the reality.
“Claire…” Farley leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling of the cab. His insides were in knots, but it had nothing to do with Claire and her sudden need to grasp a deeper understanding of dragons. “For the record, no, I don’t enjoy Darco. And before you ask me why I put up with it, the answer is simple. I don’t have a choice.” He looked at her and her small mouth had disappeared into a tight line.
“So he rapes you?”
“No. Look, I know you Humans have all these hang ups about personal space, bodies, touching, whatever. But it doesn’t work like that for us. There is no such thing as rape, being gay, incest, any of those things. We aren’t like you. So just push it all out of your head.”
In a small voice Claire said, “Then tell me.”
Farley shifted in his seat, wondering who had put sandpaper in the ass end of his pants while he wasn’t looking. “In every clutch there is a survivor, sometimes two, and even more rarely three. The need is so strong you’re blinded by it. You’re so hungry you’d tear your own flesh off your bones and eat it. If you’re weaker than the rest, you’re going to die.” He looked at her then. “For us there is no such thing as being nurtured. You eat to survive, and if you wind up as Food, you have to give the one who hunts you a better reason to keep you alive. I did what I had to do to keep Darco from eating me. But because he let me live, he’s my Dominant.”
“Unless you roll him.”
Farley blinked twice and gave a nod. “But that’s not possible.” He stared at his hands, feeling guilty for having to explain himself and pissed off because he was actually doing it. “I’m not strong enough to roll him, Claire. I’m not strong enough to roll anyone. I’m nothing but Food. To him and to the Males in the Dens. I stay alive for one reason and that’s because I’m more entertaining to them breathing than I am dead.” He laughed but didn’t smile. “I’m good at what I do. No matter how much you’re disgusted by it. And I even enjoy it. That’s why I go back.”
“Except for Darco.” She made it a statement, and that was the only reason Farley didn’t get mad.
“Yeah, except for him. He’s cruel. For him it isn’t about feeding the need – it’s about humiliation, pain, drawing as much blood as possible.”
“And you’re not afraid he’ll kill you?”
The thought had crossed Farley’s mind a few times, especially on the Hatching Grounds. But killing him wasn’t his Brother’s goal. Farley wondered how he could soften the truth, then figured what the hell. “Darco won’t kill me. Killing me would end the fun. My death would mean he could never get to me again. And trust me, that’s the last thing Darco wants. No, he enjoys what he does to me way too much, and as much as I hate it, his favor for me helps keep me alive, especially when it comes to some of the really feral Dominants. They’re scared of Darco, too.”
Farley looked out the window at the House of Lin sitting a few rows over. The place was pretty full, but then it always was. There were a lot of happy, smiling faces in there. Human faces. He was willing to bet that none of them had any idea what survival really was. Humans were only lets-get-back-to-nature until it turned around and ripped off a limb.
Claire’s voice broke the silence. “My mom used to beat the hell out of my dad.” Farley looked at her. She was staring at the restaurant. Was she thinking about the people in there, too? “Everyone thinks only a man can do something like that. But my mom…” Her throat worked up and down. “My mom used to do terrible things to him. She used to knock my sister and me around a little, but dad always got in the way.” Claire bit her bottom lip and her eyes went wide.
Farley could almost see her in the kitchen, living room, or maybe the front porch, during her stroll down memory lane, wherever it was those terrible things happened. Then it was gone.
Claire said, “Any how…My dad actually tried to get help. He went to the cops twice and a family friend.”
“What happened?”
Claire flipped her eyes up at him, and he got a good look at the scars those kinds of horrors could leave behind on the Human soul. “They laughed at him.” Her nose reddened, and she swiped her hand under one eye real quick like it was no big deal. “They told him real men don’t get beaten up by women. Some of them accused him of being insensitive to her feelings.” When Claire inhaled this time, she sniffled. “He got my sister and me into college as far away as he could put us, and I never saw him again. Mom beat him up pretty bad one night, and he called Maggie and me in the dorm just to talk. But we knew by the sound in his voice – we knew mom had done a number on him. And of course, he didn’t go to the hospital because no one ever believed him.” Claire paused, and her hands twisted up in her lap. “We found out a week later he killed himself. Mom didn’t tell us. His brother came to the dorm and told us. He must have done it right after we talked. Mom didn’t even know he was dead until the next morning when she found him hangin
g in the shower. She’d taken one of her stupid sleeping pills and gone to bed.”
Farley found himself staring at Claire with a strange kind of wonder. Never in his life would he have imagined someone like her living through that kind of darkness. Maybe she knew more about survival than he’d given her credit for. “I’m sorry.”
Claire laughed and waved her hands as if shooing away everything she’d just said. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a total buzzkill.”
Farley caught her hand and moved his thumb over her pulse. The muscles in her arms relaxed as he opened her fingers.
“You really want to learn about me?” Farley’s vision went bright. The crystalline auras outlining everything meant his Human eyes were sliding away and being replaced by liquid gold.
Claire managed a small nod, complete with a sound which vaguely resembled a yes.
“Then I’ll show you.” Farley pulled back his lips, flashing pointy teeth, and drew a hot, wet line with his tongue across the palm of her hand.
Chapter 16
Haley kept her attention on the road, but watched Deshi in her peripheral. He smelled like panic while he waited for Emily to answer the phone. And when she did, his eyes clenched shut as if he’d been punched.
“Hi…” Deshi grimaced. Haley could hear Emily’s high-pitched voice from the other side of the tinny speaker as she lit into him. Deshi sat there, silent, his jaw clenching, the lines around his eyes getting tighter and tighter. When there was a pause, he said, “I know. I just had to get out of the house. A friend’s. No. Yes. No, I know.” He was quiet again while she yelled at him some more. “Yes, of course, I love you.” Haley winced. “No, no. I know. Honey…please.” The hand in his lap balled up so tight his knuckles cracked. “Please, Emily, not this, not right now.” Deshi’s breath shuddered, shaking his entire body. “No, please.” He leaned forward until the seatbelt stopped him. “Emily…”
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