At least to some extent.
“Was it something you impressed?” Deshi asked.
Yeah, knowing the Jersey City Prince, he was having fantasies of repressing his own need so he could live happily ever after with his Human.
Orin drank from his cup. “It’s not as grand as you think.” Not as grand and ten times as horrifying. Orin tried not to think of those terrible years under Serena, but it was impossible. Unlike his Rage it wasn’t a physical force he could dig his chelae into. On the back of a sigh, Orin said, “My control came with a price.”
He drained his cup and decided to pour himself one more. Feeding his hunger helped to control the rest of his need, and Orin seriously needed all the control he could get right now.
“Tell me,” Deshi said.
Tell him. Like it was easy. Like someone could actually put a century’s worth of horror, pain, and agony into words.
Not to mention stupidity. His own stupidity.
Orin put the cup in the microwave and gave it a quick nuke. All the while Deshi’s stare pressed against his back. When the microwave beeped Orin extracted the mug, took it to the table, and sat down. Steam rolled off the top. He dipped in a finger to test the temp, then sucked the end.
Orin said, “About seven hundred and fifty years ago the Queen of Africa made me one of her Marked.” When he looked at Deshi, his eyes were on his shoulder. “Yeah, I’m not marked anymore.”
“That’s not…”
“Possible?”
Deshi nodded.
“Yeah. well lots of things aren’t supposed to be possible.” Orin smiled but it wasn’t happy. “Anyhow, Serena was a nasty bitch.”
Deshi flinched.
“And unlike you, I have no illusions as to the cruelty the Females of our species are capable of inflicting. Consider yourself lucky that you never had to find that out.” Orin expected Deshi to drop his eyes, but instead the Male hit him with a dark pain-filled expression.
Holy shit. Where the hell did that come from?
Orin cleared his throat and drank his cream. It gave him an excuse to look somewhere else.
After a while Deshi asked, “What happened?”
Orin shrugged. “Medan, Nidia, and Verli killed her.” The Prince’s eyes went wide. “Took three of them against one to make it happen. That’s how strong she was. Serena’s first RHage was Violence and she endowed her Marks with it. She used us to ruin thousands of lives. Human, Kin…” He waved a hand. “It didn’t matter. She killed everything. Devastated Africa.” And as far as Orin was concerned the place still hadn’t recovered. “I was with her for almost a century and in that time I watched her go mad with power. She was ancient, Deshi. I’ve never met another Queen like her.” And God of Man help me if I did. “That’s why it took three of them to take her down. Even then they almost didn’t succeed. Verli did die, and how Medan and Nidia survived I don’t know. It was bad. Really bad.”
“And you?”
“Me what?”
“How did you survive? If you were her Marked you should have died with her.”
Orin put his cup down and ran a hand over his face. “Serena used to play this game where she’d stick you in a kind of oubliette with a Human or even another Kin and see how long it would take before you folded under her control. And God of Man forbid you favored anyone, because that’s who she’d pick first. I killed a lot of my friends that way.” A lot of people I cared about. An ache fired up in Orin’s chest and he ignored it. “Anyhow, she’d push you until she tapped your Rage. If you could resist her long enough she’d reward you by letting the person go free.”
Deshi’s eyes went to the table. “I had no idea.”
“Very few do.” Orin rocked the cup in his hand and watched the cream go round and round. “I learned to shut her out. Completely shut her out. No one else could do it. And the Rage? I learned to lock it down.” He took a breath. “I killed thousands before I learned to control it. It wasn’t worth the price but since I have it, I use it.”
“Then why all that melodrama in the Tank? Haley wanted to help you. You hurt her by saying no.”
Orin frowned. “That’s a whole different kind of complication.” He drained his cup.
“I’m listening.” Yeah, he was. And the Male had a look on his face which said he wasn’t going anywhere until he got the full scoop.
Orin said, “When Serena died she left her Violence behind inside me. As a Male I can’t control it. The best I can do is lock it down, but it recognizes Females. I don’t know what would happen if it got loose. And I can’t risk getting close to a Female to find out.”
“You serviced Medan.”
Orin glared. “Yeah, well, I didn’t exactly give a shit if I killed her.” He did a lot of things with Medan he would never even mention in Haley’s presence. “I’m not willing to take the same risk with Haley.’
“What about this Mary Gilsp?”
Boy, the Prince was a right nosy bastard tonight.
Orin sighed. “She was too Human. The RHage didn’t acknowledge her as a Female. Trust me, I was careful for a very long time. But yeah, when I figured out it didn’t react to her then…sure, I fed her and I was…with her.”
“You should tell Haley why you wouldn’t let her help you.”
“Oh, sure, letting her know what a monster I am will drum up some warm fuzzies, wouldn’t it? I don’t know whether or not you’ve noticed, but Haley has no capacity for that kind of brutality.”
Deshi frowned. “She’s stronger than you give her credit for.”
“Well, if you don’t mind I’d rather she see me as a person and not a beast.” And person totally sounded like a stand in for Human. Shit. And with the way Deshi was dissecting him with those baby blues of his the Prince hadn’t missed Orin’s little Freudian slip.
Deshi said, “She loves you, you know.”
Orin froze and his eyes slid over to the Male on their own accord. “What did you say?” Because he sure as hell didn’t hear him right.
Deshi gave a it’s-no-big-deal shrug. “Haley has loved you for years.”
“Kin don’t love. We’re physiologically incapable of it.” Orin rubbed his chest.
“Strange thing to hear coming from a Kin who tries so hard to be Human.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not the one who married one, now am I?” When Deshi flinched Orin dove in. “How many dogs does that make now? If you’re keeping score that golden retriever should go for double points.”
Orin expected aggression. Hell, he wanted aggression. Some growling, snarling, and teeth flashing would put Deshi on the level of the rest of the monsters.
But what he got, was, “I deserve that. I really do. But Haley doesn’t. Human impressions or not, she still needs us and you hurt her every time you push her away.”
Orin refused to look at the Prince. “Too fucking bad.”
Deshi stood up and carried his cup back into the kitchen. He was quiet for a while, then asked, “Why did you call her to help you? If being around her is such a risk, why involve her at all?” And his tones said not the bullshit reason why. Maybe Deshi was smarter than he looked.
Idiot savant maybe?
“Because I need…” Orin’s voice tightened. “I can’t defend myself against Rehbek’ah.”
“So you want Haley too?”
“No…” Man the pain in his chest just wouldn’t go away. Orin rubbed harder. “Haley wouldn’t stand a chance against her.”
“Then why did you call her?”
“Will you quit asking me that?”
“Then answer the question.”
Thing is, Orin didn’t want to answer the question. He didn’t want to face the ugliness. Orin sighed and said, “She owes me.”
“Haley doesn’t owe you anything.”
Orin scented his own fear, his own humiliation, the dried blood, the dirty shirt on his back and the pre-worn sweats covering his ass. He wanted to strip everything off and burn it, then soak himself in gasoline and
light a match. And it still wouldn’t make it better. It still wouldn’t erase the selfish thoughts and choices he’d made.
He sighed. “Not her. Medan. Medan owes me. And Haley…she’s her Enforcer.”
Deshi’s blue eyes flared and his usually calm face darkened. “You asshole. You call her to get her help but you don’t want the help she is willing to give. Instead you want her to do exactly what she’s afraid of.” He shook his head. “That’s pretty arrogant, even for you.”
“It wouldn’t be her…”
Deshi waved a hand in the direction of the bedroom. “Why? Because Medan will take her over so it makes it okay? It’s still her body, Orin. You should have seen her today. She almost lost it. Medan left just a piece of herself behind and it terrified her. How is she going to handle the whole package?”
“That’s already happened.” Orin watched Deshi’s face crumble. “Maybe if you hadn’t decided to go all solo you’d know the whole story. I’m sure you saw the news. The explosion at the Center for Draconian Biology was no accident. It was Medan.”
“And that makes it okay?”
“What choice do I have, Deshi? I can’t fight Rehbek’ah. The moment I so much as reach out and touch her to defend myself, all of my protection against her is gone. Then all she’d have to do is Roll me or get Temporal on me and I’d be helpless.”
“And when the hell did you plan on telling Haley the real reason you brought her here?”
Orin winced. Never. “I don’t know. It wasn’t like I’ve had a lot of time to explain things. Been sort of busy trying to stay away from the psycho bitch and getting the crap kicked out of me by the cops.”
“You should have told her on the phone. Given her a choice. ”
It was obvious why Orin didn’t, because Haley might have refused to come. It was Orin’s turn to drop his gaze.
An angry heat rolled off the Jersey City Prince. When he spoke, his words were clipped and precise. “You know what, Orin? You reek. Go take a shower. With any luck maybe you can scrub some of that bullshit off your hide.”
Chapter 29
“Wake up, Child.”
Haley opened her eyes and saw herself. A few strands of hair stuck to her cheek and there was a crease near her eye from the pillow. The t-shirt she wore was one of Deshi’s. And speaking of Deshi, where was he? She looked around the empty white marble bathroom. She was alone, only she didn’t feel alone.
Haley didn’t remember getting up from bed and walking in here. So maybe she hadn’t? With a tentative hand she touched the counter, then the sink. It felt real. Surely this wasn’t a dream.
“No dream.” Her eyes went wide and she slid her gaze to the mirror. The face looking back was hers, but then the expression changed and her mouth moved of its own accord. “You are my Enforcer. We are one.” Medan’s smile was wicked.
Haley blinked and she was left staring at her own fearful expression. “Get out of me.”
Like a veil being drawn, her features relaxed and her lips drew into a frown. “I have been trying to speak with you all day and you shut me out. Now you are spent and I am able to reach you. I am sorry…you are frightened.”
Like hell she was.
Haley said, “What do you want?”
“I see your discourtesy increases with regard to distance.” The tone in Haley’s stolen voice was a promise of terrible things.
She dropped her eyes. “I apologize, my Queen.” A contented purr kick up deep in her chest. “It’s been a bad day.” And she had a terrible feeling--now that the Queen of Atlanta had shown up--that it was only going to get worse. “Why are you here?”
Medan raised one of Haley’s shoulders in a half shrug. “When I heard of Re’ka’s death I knew Rehbek’ah would seek out Orin. I had to make sure you were here to protect him. I tried to reach you earlier today to inform you that I needed you here. But I was…distracted.”
A horrible thought came to Haley. “You made me attack Donald?”
“I did not. I merely” –She flashed a row of razor sharp teeth—“encouraged it.”
“You almost made me kill him!”
“And are you going to tell me he didn’t deserve to die?” Was she? Haley didn’t get the chance because the Queen cut her off. “In the end, it was all for the best.”
“Why would almost costing me my job be for the best?”
“Because this way you were free of your Human loyalties and your Chetrah boss could not tie things up with his Bureau rules.”
Haley couldn’t stop the lick of anger from firing up in her chest. She had no idea if Medan would feel it. Worse than that, how she would react to it. “Did you leave your RHage behind on purpose too? Or was it just a bonus for me being so easy to push!”
Medan sighed. “An unfortunate accident.” And damn if she didn’t sound like she meant it. “But I trust you handled the situation without incident?” As in, you didn’t kill anyone.
“Thanks to Deshi…”
Medan’s mouth turned into a slash and her gaze flicked to the bathroom door. “Is Orin safe?”
“He’s fine. For now. The cops really beat the hell out of him though. They’re lucky they didn’t bring him to Rage.”
“No one can bring Orin to Rage, not even me.”
“What?”
“He is an enigma, not unlike you. It’s why Rehbek’ah wants him. It’s why all the Queens want him. And it’s why they must never have him.” The gold in Medan’s eyes rolled with flecks of red and Haley felt the thunder of a fire lung burning in her chest. Scales moved under her skin. “Rehbek’ah unfortunately has complicated things by killing the Lesser-Bred. That was a move I did not anticipate. She is more of a fool than even I thought possible.”
“Then you’ll help Orin?”
“Yes.” But there was a catch, Haley could feel it.
“What are you going to do?”
“I will kill her.”
Haley swallowed. “How?”
The eyes of her reflection turned black, “I think you know.”
“Medan, please, I don’t want to kill anyone.”
“Not even if it means saving lives. So many lives. Kin and Chetrah.”
Haley wrapped her arms around herself. “I’m not that way.”
“You need to learn.”
“Why? Because you enjoy hurting people?” She snapped her mouth shut.
Medan smiled. “I will forgive you, only because you are young, naïve, and your Human impressions have left you tainted.”
Tainted. It didn’t surprise Haley Medan considered ethics and morals as something filthy and cumbersome. “Please, don’t make me kill anyone. We can do better.”
“We?”
Haley nodded. “Yes. We. Kin.”
“Orin doesn’t think so.” Her eyes widened and Medan grinned. It was a strange transformation of expressions. One second it was hers, next it was the Queen’s. “Oh Child, do you think he called you for your company? Your moral support?” Medan laughed. Haley’s head tilted and her shoulders rolled forward with the strange ethereal grace she’d never impressed.
Her hands, no longer in her control, slid to the edge of the counter and her body leaned forward. Like maybe the Queen wanted to get a better look at the form she’d possessed. “Orin understands the necessity of violence, Haley. As should you.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Even if you did, would you abandon him?”
Haley bit her lip and shook her head.
“And Orin knows it. He is counting on it.” Medan slid a hand forward and stroked Haley’s reflection. “This sense of loyalty you have to your Males is endearing, but it also makes you weak. We are Kin, Haley. We are not Chetrah. It is time you understood the difference.”
“I do know the difference.”
Her mouth opened and a long low hiss eased out. “No, you do not. You refuse to see we are beasts, dragons, the sin of men. We are nothing Human. We are nothing like Humans. For us, there is only one justice and it
is death. For us, there is only survival, at any cost. For us, there are only pleasures of the body, inside and out. And while we may cross over to their side, we cannot forget what we are. To forget will bring our death.” The look Medan gave made Haley’s skin turn cold. “That is one thing Orin has chosen to turn his back on. He seeks what he can never be. His arrogance is his weakness. Rehbek’ah knows this and she will use it to bring him to her. And when she succeeds I will have no choice but to destroy him.”
A tear spilled out over Haley’s cheek and Medan reached up and caught it on her fingertips. She pressed it to her lips, tasting. “You will do this for me. You have no choice.”
Haley trembled. “Please don’t--”
“Are you denying your Queen?”
“I just don’t want to hurt anyone.”
Medan laughed. “I think you are. I think you are denying me. Then perhaps I should just own you, Haley Night, servant to the Chetrah. Perhaps I should just take what is mine to command.”
With a snap, Haley’s body went rigid. The rustle of scales echoed in her skull. “So weak. Yes, like this I could own you. Easily own you.” The Queen slapped Haley’s hands against the counter and her chelae knocked holes right through the marble.
“Get out of me.” Fear made it hard to breathe.
Medan laughed. “Make me.”
She wanted to. Only she didn’t know how. Haley clenched her jaw and stared at her face owned by another. “Leave me!”
“Are you going to pray now? Call out to the Chetrah God to exorcise me from your body? It is too late for that, Child.” Her lips rolled up and there were too many teeth for her Human mouth. “You. Are. Mine.”
“NO!”
“There is only one place for the weak and that is Food.”
“Get out of me!” Haley took command of her fist and threw it into the mirror. “GET OUT OF ME!” Again and again, blow after blow, until silver shards were raining down all around her, littering the counter and the floor.
City of Dragons: Of Flesh and Blood Page 23
